Abnormal Disaster
by AmyC103
Summary: Sequel to "Freak Accident"  They told me it was all a dream; but I know the truth. Everything was real. And now I am the only one that can save them.
1. Prologue

**All right! This is the Sequel to "Freak Accident" a story you can find on my page! I highly recommend reading "Freak Accident" before starting this story, because I can garenty you WILL be confused!**

**To those who have already read "Freak Accident", I thank you for loving it soooo much that you want to read this one :) I hope it meets your standards!**

**Enjoy the Prologue, the first chapter should be up within the week.**

**-AmyC103**

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Prologue

I've been told it was a dream.

That I imagined everything, that none of it was real.

My mother and Father paid for many different therapists to have a "look" at me to see if they could figure out why I held on so tightly. Some thought I was insane and should but put in what my brother calls a crazy house. But I know they will never allow that. Others said it was just the trauma of the storm that night on the plane.

It was true, that storm.

I had met Shelby at the bathroom. But we were never hit by lightening. We never crashed. She never died. It was all in my head. Issac said when I got back to my seat I passed out into a sleep that I could not be woken from. Almost like I was in a coma.

They say the storm cued a fear of falling, crashing and dying. That's why I had that dream. It helped my body coup with the fear.

But, I know the truth.

Everything was real.

**Short? Yes, I know. But, what are your thoughts on the story that is to come?**


	2. Scars

**As promised, here is the first chapter :) I know where this story is going, just not sure how to get there... so it may be a few days before the next chapter is out**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 1, Scars.

Steam rose off the water. The candle flickered.

My name is Kira Lorenzo. I live in New York, in a suite big enough for a family of five. Paid for by my Father. I am twenty-seven years old.

It has been ten years since I went to China with my high school class.

The water rippled with each movement I made.

I had just come up from my Fathers club downstairs. He gave me this branch, now that I am old enough to run it. I own the whole building, and I get half of the profits. It is very, very popular. Today was a special day, the anniversary of my best friend and her husband. I held a party for them, paying for everything. Grand cakes, wine and champagne, decorations.

Anne and Mike have been married for three years.

Yes, Anne and Mike. John is somewhere in Canada now, no one knows where he disappeared to after we graduated. Anne broke up with him the second we returned from China, having heard my tale of the dream I had. She wanted nothing to do with him. And, I like Mike. He's a good guy.

A breeze from the window blew out my candle. I stared at the swirling smoke coming from the burnt wick.

My dream. Gaara and the twins. Temari. Kankuro. Sakura, Naruto, Tsunade-sama.

My dream, my secret life.

I smiled and scoffed at the same time. Secret life? No. Everyone knows about my insane dream. That I had twins at the age of seventeen. That I had found the love of my life who happened to have a demon monster in him.

But scars don't lie, do they?

I rubbed my knees, the wrinkled scars unfeeling. Numb. Dead. Scars from when I cracked my knees into nothing when Iwa attacked Suna that time. When I did everything I could to save my love after betraying him so badly. Scars don't lie. But the therapists said the scars were from an earlier injury, when I was little. Mother didn't remember me ever getting the scars. Neither goes Brother, Father, or Savannah. No one remembers them but me.

Because my dream wasn't a dream.

In the other room my cell phone started to ring. I stood from my bath and walked across the bathroom and out into the living room to answer it.

Caller ID said it was Daddy. "Hi, Daddy," I answered.

He chuckled on the other end of the line. "How was the party, sweetheart?"

"Spectacular. Anne and Mike were really happy." I sat down on the big comfy chair I had hand picked out for myself. The deep brown color reminds me of my babies eyes. "Everyone enjoyed themselves."

"Good, that's what I like to hear," he said. Then he cleared his throat. I sighed softly, knowing what is coming. "Your mother wants you to come home, Kira. Savannah and her want all three of you girls to go somewhere for a little while."

Every week. Every week Daddy brings this up. And, like now, every week I refuse. "I can't, Daddy, you know that," I whispered. For ten years I've been avoiding going back on a plane. I do not want to, and I never will.

He sighed. "Kira, sweetheart, go somewhere with them. They miss you. I miss you! How long has it been since you've come home? Six, seven years?"

I rolled my eyes. "Daddy, I live on the other side of town. You can drive over if you want to see me. Come to the club tonight, I've made some changes recently and I think you'd like it."

He sighed, again. I sighed, with a smile. He chuckled. "Just come home. We have a surprise for you anyway. During the day, so you can be home in time to open the club."

"Fine," I said. "But I'm not going on a plane. I love you, Daddy."

"Love you, too, Sweetheart."

I hung up and looked around the room. I haven't changed it much since I moved in. And I don't usually have people over. Maybe Anne and Mike for a ball game, but that is it. I usually entertain guests down in the club, where I can slip away for a few minutes if I have to.

Since we returned from China and I've been called insane, I haven't been all that social.

Being the daughter of such a man like my Daddy, I have constant reporters everywhere. They follow me on the streets, they sneak into my club, and they've even tried getting into my suite. I have to be very careful about what I do, who I see, and what I say. If I have someone up to my suite, and there is a reporter in the club, they go into a huge spiel about my dream and wonders if this man is connected to it, or if he resembles someone I think I had known. Its actually very annoying.

And not good for my club.

I walked back to my bath and slipped into the silky water, all the way up to my chin. Planes, just hearing the word sends chills up my spine. Never again will I ride on one of those things. Never. I will take a ship, months long ride, across the ocean, before I will get back on one of those things.

I don't think I will ever get over the trauma of that crash.

I sighed and closed my eyes. Another scar, but this one not physical. One that I cannot prove, other than refusing to get on a plane for the rest of my life. I frowned at myself, scars are not something I am very found of. I can put most of it behind me, the fear, the dread, but there will always be some things that I cannot. Like my love for my children, the children that grew in my womb. Though they tortured me, I will always love them. A Mothers love is eternal. I will never forget Gaara's face, nor those of the ones who were closest to me.

And I will never forget the betrayal.

Ever.

What happened with Mika... A shiver ran down my spine. I will never trust another in such a way. Though ten years later, and after being told everything I feel is fake, the betrayal still stings like it happened yesterday. And the need for revenge is strong.

On the nights I didn't dream about Gaara or the twins they were about Mika. About my getting revenge on her for her betrayal. She saved my life. If it wasn't for her, Ino, Shikamaru, Asuma, we all would have died in that cave. She rescued us! She was the one who dug away the snow, the one who knew which cave we would be in. She is the one who pulled me out of the dark and into the light. She treated me as if I was her daughter. She even gave me the swords her father gave to her!

My dreams of her had the usual deaths. Pushing her off a cliff, down a well, holding her head under water. Using the swords she gave me to slice her head off, stabbing her in the heart with a kunai. You know, the usual things. Or, even more dramatically, burning her to death, limb by limb. Making her suffer. Making her feel the pain I went through.

Or maybe I would kill Nabora first, and make her watch. Make Mika watch as I cut off the girls ears, fingers, toes, her tongue. Make Mika watch her daughter suffer, her slow death, and let the dread sit. Let her know she will be next, that I am coming for her. I want her to fear me. To fear my arrival. To fear my name, my face. I want her to fear me. To fear me like I feared Sasori.

I shook my head. No, I do not want to stoop to her level. I will never, ever, do that to another being. Ever. I have to admit, her betrayal has made me bitter. Very bitter.

I sighed and pushed my hair from my face. I really need to stop dwelling on what "never happened."

But I long for Suna. I long for the heat, the big open sky with its bright stars and grand moon. I miss the sand. I miss the days and days of rain after a year without it. I miss everything about it. I miss Konoha, with its forests. I miss the whole world I came out of. It happened unexpectedly, go in and coming out. A freak accident, the plane going down. A freak dream, I scoffed at myself, like some people think.

I looked down at one of two tattoo I posses. On my left hip is a giant "i", like the one that I used to have on my forehead protector. Suna's symbol. I traced it longingly. But my eyes drifted to my other hip, where an eye with a half circle sat, black against my white skin. Konoha's symbol. I traced that one, too, and a sense of longing filled me. I got them three years after I returned home, so I would never forget. Though I know I would never forget anyway.

I sighed, closing my eyes once more and leaning my head on the back of the tub. My life is so boring compared to the one I had there. This life hurts. People are deceitful, backstabbing, rumor spreading, ignorant, small minded people. There... there the people had class. They were all about family and friends. They protected one another. I would rather live in that world, with all of the death, than live in this world. I would rather be somewhere where I don't always have to look over my shoulder to see if I'm being followed, somewhere where I can breathe and not choke of the fumes coming from the buildings and cars.

Somewhere where I can be _me_.

My thoughts were disturbed when there was a loud knock on my front door. I heard a key jingling in the lock, then the door squeaked open. I waited, listening to the footsteps, the rustling of bags, and the soft humming.

"Kira? I brought dinner! I thought we could spend some time together. Watch a movie or something. You in the bath?"

I smiled. Of course. "Yes, I will be right out. Go ahead and pick the movie. What kind of food?"

Kaleb laughed. "Chinese, of course!"

I grinned bigger and jumped out of the tub, pulling the plug. I quickly dried off and pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a shirt. My brother would no doubt eat all of the wontons if I don't hurry. I ran a brush through my hair and pulled it back into a high ponytail.

I was about to leave the bathroom when my eye caught the candle sitting on the windowsill. It looks so lonely, sitting all by itself without the flame dancing on the wick. I looked into my eyes in the mirror and smiled slowly to myself.

The flame danced as I ate with my brother in the living room.

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**Well, there you go! That is the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it! **

**Review please!**


	3. Another Crash

**Thank you for reading this storyyyy! It makes me happy to read your reviews :) Enjoy chapter two!**

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Chapter 2, Another Crash.

I drove down to my Mothers little country home just out of the city. I had the sun roof open, windows open, radio blaring, and my hair flying. It has been a few months since I left the city. The air smells good.

I tipped my sunglasses onto the top of my head and rubbed my eye. Last night was a rough one, fights breaking out in the club every other minute, so I decided it was time to concede to mother and visit her in her little country home. Stress has been piling up. Kaleb told me that night he came over, two weeks ago now, he was being shipped off to war in a months time. He joined the Marine's, and I regret encouraging him now.

I pushed the thought out of my head and turned the radio up, stepping on the gas pedal to bring my speed up to seventy miles-per-hour. My little blue sports care weaved in and out between the others on the road. I snapped on my blinker and pulled the E-break, drifting around the corner to the right road that leads to the country house. I regained my speed and flipped my sunglasses back to my nose.

Mother hates my driving, but I find it fun. Savannah does, too, when mother allows her to be in the same car as me. I smiled, mother is very protective over Savannah, she is the baby of the family, after all. And she is having the hardest time with the news of Kaleb. I switched from radio to CD and turned up the bass.

It was about noon when I arrived at mothers country home. I tossed my keys to the man who came around the car to park it and headed up the many steps to the front door. I pushed my sunglasses up on top of my head when I entered, the wonderful smell of the cooks cooking attacked my senses, making me smile with delight. It will be a wonderful stay.

"Kira!" Savannah ran down the hall and gave me a big hug. "Come on, we are all getting in the pool!"

I smiled down at my little sister. "I'll be right there. I need to change first." Savannah ran back towards the sliding glass door. Seconds later I heard a big splash and the screaming of women, then Savannah's laughter rung out.

Mother must be having one of her little tea parties again.

I went upstairs to my room and through open my closet doors. Lights flickered on and I browsed, having forgotten what I had in here. I picked out a simple sun dress and a straw hat. Once I was changed, along with flip flops on my feet, I went out back to where the pool resides. Mother and her friends were sitting up on the wooden deck under the umbrella. I picked a beach chair on the other side of the pool and lounged, tipping the hat just right so the sun wasn't in my eyes.

I watched Savannah play in the water, splashing here and there, throwing pool toys in the air behind her back and waiting for them to sink before she went to find them all. Her bronze colored hair shined with the water. She got her hair from Mom, I got my dark brown from Dad. And we all have brown eyes, a trait of the Lorenzo family.

"CANNON BALL!" I opened my eyes just in time to see the ridiculously large wave about to hit me. I screamed, covering my face just as the chlorine water washed over my whole body. "How was that, Kira? Ten pointer, you think?"

I glared at Anne, who was climbing out of the pool, pulling at her t-shirt. "You little..." I jumped up and ran at her, pulling both of us into the pool. We both laughed as we came up, gasping for air. "Come on, I have clothes for you in my room."

Anne followed me upstairs and we both changed into something dry. "Your brother said you were here, I hope you don't mind." Anne pulled a t-shirt over head head. The t-shirt caught my attention, for it had a little cartoon ninja on it, kicking a different little ninja in the head, who had oversized eyes. I couldn't help but think of Temari and Kankuro.

"Not at all." I looked away and sat at my vanity, taking a brush to my hair. "Why are you here, though?"

She shrugged, doing the same to her hair. "I don't really know. Just felt like a good idea, I guess. I had an... urge, I guess you'd say, to be with you tonight." She shrugged again and gave up on brushing her hair and stuck it up in a messy bun. "Don't ask, because I can't explain."

I laughed. "Left your husband at home?"

She shrugged again, rolling her eyes. "When are you going to get married?" she asked, laying down on my bed. "You are twenty-seven, and have a million different men you could marry at any second, yet you don't even date. What is up with that, anyway?"

I smiled at her, waiting for her to say something alone the lines of: "Oh my gosh! Just get over that stupid dream already!" But she didn't. She just looked at me seriously. I rolled my eyes at her. "I don't want to get married, Anne."

"Bull. Everyone wants to get married."

I sighed and turned to face her. "Is that why you are here? Did Kaleb and daddy send you to pressure me into marrying?" I crossed my arms, raising a brow at her.

She tried, hard, to keep a smile off of her face. But she failed in the end and burst out laughing. "No! But I wish they had, I would have an excuse to showing up." She flopped back again and stared up at the ceiling. "Being pregnant really isn't much of an excuse, you know?"

My jaw dropped. I couldn't think of words to say. Pregnant? Anne? Anne pregnant? No. No way! I finally was able to give her the gasp she was waiting for, and she was all giggles.

"I found out yesterday!" she said, bouncing up and down. "I've known for a little while, but I wasn't completely sure, so I waited until I saw a doctor. But it's true! I'm going to be a Mommy!"

I still couldn't think of anything to say to her. My mind went instantly to Jessica and Yukio, just like it does whenever I hear the word "baby." I had to try hard to form words. "Anne... I'm so happy for you!" We both jumped up at the same time and hugged each other. "Promise I can be the Godmother? Promise!"

She laughed and hugged me tighter. "Of course!"

– –

That night we decided to go back into the city to celebrate. We went to a different club, so I wouldn't be pulled into work. We danced and danced, and I drank enough for the both of us. Like usual, Anne sent many men my way, once I was drunk enough, and got me to dance with each of them.

But I had enough at about two in the morning and decided it was time we headed home.

I let Anne drive, because I was just a little bit drunk. Actually, I felt like I was swimming as the air from the window blew over my face. Anne kept laughing at me, so I must have been making a fool of myself. I don't remember much of the drive though the city, but once we hit the country the air cleared my head a little and I was able to recognize the thunder. Anne rolled up the window just as the rain started to fall.

Panic bubbled in my stomach and I quickly put on my seat belt, making sure Anne did the same. The plane ride had kind of messed us both up. That storm was petrifying to Anne, just as it had been to me. We both quieted down a little bit and I let her drive. I stared out the window at the lightening in the sky, that was getting closer and closer. I moved my hands away from the door and squared my feet on the floor.

Can't be to careful!

Anne turned on the music, loud enough to almost drowned out the loud booms coming from the sky. She started to sing along, speeding up on the empty road. After a few minutes I relaxed and started singing, too. We were both jamming out by the time we got to the road that the house was on.

But, of course, that is when it all happened.

Anne lost control of the car and we hit sand, spinning off the road. I screamed, clutching the door handle with one hand, and Anne's arm with the other. I saw a figure before we hit the guardrail, my whole body jerking forward. It was a few minutes, which seemed like hours, before my vision came back to me. Somehow the music was still playing, and the horn was blaring. I glanced over to Anne. She was leading fully on the steering wheel, rubbing her head. When she sat back the horn stopped and I let out my held breath.

"Are you okay?" I asked in a frantic manner. She just nodded.

"Let's get out," she said back.

I was forced to climb over to Anne's side because my door was smashed so badly it wouldn't open. I was surprised I could stand, with how shaky my legs were. I put Anne's arm around my shoulders and we both walked away from the car and sat on the edge of the road. Anne's forehead was bleeding from bashing into the steering wheel, and I could feel a pressure wound on my shoulder from hitting the window when I was jerked.

The rain pelted down on us.

"Did you see that?" Anne whispered, I barely caught it over the roar or rain.

"See what?" I asked, smoothing back my hair. We both just sat in the rain, trying to over come out shock of the accident. Neither of us thought about getting out cell phones from the car, nor going to turn off the radio.

"That person. They were standing on the side of the road." Anne tried to stand but fell back down. "They were walking on the other side." She swore gently. "I hope I didn't hit them." She rubbed her sore head.

Without another thought I set my mind on healing a little of her head injury, to stop the bleeding and lessen the pain a little bit. As the rain fell, drops centering around her wound, I visibly saw her skin knit together, the blood ceasing to leak out. The pain lessened in my shoulder and I stopped what I was doing. We would need to look a little banged up.

"Did you see him?" Anne asked again, probably wondering if I had also hit my head.

I closed my eyes, thinking back a few minutes to before the crash. The alcohol in my system is still effecting me, and it will continue to for awhile. "Um, yeah. I think I remember seeing someone." But a crash like that is enough to sober anyone up. I glanced around, trying to see through the rain. If there was someone there, why didn't they come help us? "Where could they be?" I asked, but didn't expect Anne to answer with a:

"Over there!"

I glanced at where she was pointing. A dark figure was slowly coming out of the bushes on the other side of the street, keeping low to the ground. I squinted, trying to make out if it was a man or woman. But the dark, rain, and the substance in my system would not allow it. I thought about turning up my body temperature, to burn off the alcohol, but decided against it. It might be the only thing keeping me sane at the moment.

"Who is it?" Anne asked. "Who are you?" she asked louder. The figure stopped moving, freezing like a deer in headlights. Anne grabbed my arm and we both stood, clinging to one another. "Come on, Kira," she said a little louder than she normally would have. "Let's get out of here." The panic in her voice was hard to miss.

As I was turning I saw the figure stand straight up, almost like they had been caught off guard. Anne and I started walking quickly away from the scene, heading towards the country home. I wished a car would pass, see us, and give us a ride. The rain has made my dress more skin tight that it had originally been, and it is incredibly difficult to walk in. Anne looked like she was having the same problem.

"Kira!"

I glanced behind me with horror. It can't be. There is no fucking way that is who I think it is.

I spun around and stared at the dark figure slowly emerging from the bushes. It can't be. There is just no possible way. Anne tried tugging on my arm, to pull me away from who ever it was. But I shrugged her off, squinting in the dark to try to see if the voice matches the name and image in my head. I took a few steps closer, trying to see. Anne grabbed my arm and gave it a yank, pleading with me to keep walking.

"Kira?" the voice said again. "Kira, is that you?"

I gasped. "Oh my god..."

I can't believe my eyes.

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**Did you like it? Review! :)**


	4. An Old Friend

**Well, today is a nice lazy day for me, so I decided to post chapter three for you all! To those of you who are out of school right now, due to the one-to-two feet of snow coming down, I hope this fills in a bit of the boredom I know you are feeling at the moment :) Enjoy!**

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Chapter 3, An Old Friend.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, still oblivious to my shock. "You two are going to get sick!" He glanced at my wrecked car. "Did you just crash!"

I worked my tongue in my mouth, trying to come up with an answer. One that I knew would never come. Anne pulled frantically at my arm, trying to get me to move. The crash has hurt her more than I thought. I pushed air into her head and knocked her out, easing her to the ground at my feet. I glanced up when I heard his running footsteps.

"Is she okay?" he asked, checking her pulse. "Jesus! What the hell happened?" His dark black eyes turned to me. The red stripes down his cheeks glowing in the dark. I felt like I was going to throw up. "Kira?" His hand touched my shoulder. I looked down at it, unbelieving.

How can this be? No, this isn't real! But... how? I glanced back up at the face of Jiraiya, one of the three Sannin. Jiraiya-sama, Naruto's teacher. Jiraiya-sama, the one Sakura would sometimes complain about. Tsunade-sama's old teammate. And teammate of Orochimaru, Sasuke's teacher, the evil villain. I put a hand over my heart, feeling the thumping through my skin. How is he here? What happened? What is he doing here? Am I so drunk I'm imagining things? I took a moment to slap myself hard across the face.

"Hey! Whoa!" Jiraiya grabbed put his hands up in the air with a startled expression. "No need to hit yourself! I get it, hands off, hands off!" He swore under his breath and muttered something like, "Tsuande never mentioned you being this idiotic."

I tried to take a breath, but I ended up choking on it, sputtering as I tried to regain my composure. The rain helped to calm me slightly. I switched the heat on in my body and burned off most of the alcohol that was effecting my brain. I blinked a few times, gazed back at him, and blinked a few more times.

He chuckled. "This is exactly what Tsunade said you'd do... though she never mentioned the slap." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Anyway, are you two alright? Why'd you crash?" He was back to the seriousness Naruto had often talked about. Laughing one moment, serious and unkind the next. He looked down at Anne. "She should get to a hospital."

I shook my head, still a little numb. "No need," I whispered. I knelt next to her and placed my hands over her stomach and started to push my energy into her. I fixed any little thing in her body that would effect the baby and healed the slight sprain she sustained in her ankle. I looked back up at him with a frown. "How..." are you here? No. That doesn't sound right. Maybe: What the hell are you doing here in the freaking rain in the road waiting for a car to hit you? Yes, that sounds better. I was about to say it when he held both of his hands up and sat on his heels next to me.

"I know you have many questions," he said. "But right now we need both of you to get a full examination. I know you are just as good as Sakura had been, but you can still overlook things." Jiraiya reached to pick up Anne, but I slapped his hands away from her.

"How do I know you are real?" I snapped. "I could just be dreaming and you are really some creepy old guy who will rape her!"

He looked affronted. "I've been accused of many... many things in my life, but never of rape." Without another word he picked up Anne and started carrying her. He stopped after about fifteen feet and looked back at me with a sheepish grin. "Which way is home?"

I stared at him, a small smile starting to form on my lips. He is real. Everything is real. The smile turned to a grin. "This way," I said and lead the way home.

– –

It wasn't until after a visit to the hospital, under mothers urges, that I got to talk privately with Jiraiya. Before we walked into the house I had made him wipe the paint off his cheeks (which I had found out are actually tattoos, which meant it couldn't be done). My parents interrogated him and asked all of the necessary questions.

Why were you on that road? What were you doing? Where were you going? Who are you? Where do you come from? What is your status? Do you hold a job? What job? How much money do you make a year?

Well... maybe not all of them were necessary. But it ended in my father asking him to stay the night. Mother called father the second Jiraiya entered the house carrying Anne with me tagging behind him. He met us at the hospital. Anne is fine, but they are keeping her over night for some testing, just to be sure the baby will be alright as well, though I know she already will be.

Mother and father went to bed, because of the stress, and I couldn't sleep, because of the stress. It was about ten o'clock in the morning when I sat down with a cup of hot chocolate on the couch next to Jiraiya. He had been watching TV, not the least bit tired. I just stared at him as I drank my hot chocolate, thinking. There is no way he could have gotten here the same way I did. No, he could have. I don't know how I came home. I just fell asleep... and woke up on the plane. How did it happen? Why is this happening now?

It has been ten years. And now, after so many years of pain and agony, things start to change? I'm proved right that it wasn't all a dream? Why after so long? Someone could have told me I wasn't deranged sooner! I scoffed into my cup. No, maybe I am deranged. Maybe this isn't who I think it is. I have never personally met Jiraiya, and he has a very good story to back up why he was on the road last night. It could really be just some creepy old guy with funny white hair that is a rapist.

And I really could be insane.

"It's started," he said in a low voice. I jumped, not expecting him to talk.

"What?" What has started? Definitely not my period, that happened last week. What's started? It's not the season for football... Baseball no one really cares about anymore... What has started?

He gave me a sad smile, his dark eyes holding the same sadness. "The war." Dread washed over me. "The Fourth Great Shinobi War has begun."

"I don't know what you are talking about," I said. What an asshole! This creep is trying to make fun of me! Obviously he has read the articles about me, the ones from ten years ago when I got home from China. They are all over the place. Easy to find. Anger boiled deep within my body. It must have showed on my face, because a look of fear washed over his.

":Look!" he said quickly, trying to explain. "I was sent to find you! I'm not a joke, I swear! Yes, I've read the stories, but only to find out where you were! Kira, you have to believe me!" My hands tightened into a fist and he covered his head. "I hope you don't hit as hard as Tsunade or Sakura..." he whimpered.

I stopped, frozen. I've never talked about their strength before. Ever. I glanced over him, trying to figure everything out. He's wearing normal clothes, jeans, long sleeve shirt. His jacket is in the dryer. But his hair... long and thick, a bright white. Just like Tsunade and Naruto described him as. Just like the pictures showed. Seeing my hesitation, he quickly reached into his pocket and pulled something out. He tossed it on my lap.

I almost dropped my cup.

A headband. Forehead protector, with Konoha's symbol. I looked up at him, my heart thudding loudly once more. "How did you...?"

His face softened. "I know you have been called crazy, Kira," he whispered. "But you aren't. Everything was real, everything. And now you are needed."

I shook my head, once more disbelieving. I'm needed? For what! "How? How did you get here? What am I needed for? Jiraiya," he seemed pleased I knew he name. I then remembered he had used the name Nick when he introduced himself to my parents. "How do I know I'm not dreaming right now?"

He shrugged, reached over and pinched my arm. I yelped, and slapped away his hand. "You aren't dreaming," amusement interlaced his words. "As for how I got here... Blame it on Tsunade. I'm not completely sure myself. You are needed to stop the war, Kira. I've come here to bring you back with me and stop the war."

I swallowed hard. I don't want to go back only to fight in a war. I want to go back to see my babies, to see the love of my life. I thought on it... I would be going back to see them! But it would be under a different reason.

I almost slapped myself again. What the hell am I _thinking_? Of course I want to go back! I fell awkward in this world, like I don't belong. Having lived in the world of ninja's like I have, this doesn't feel like home anymore. I miss being there. I miss it! I didn't have to hide anything there. I was who I wanted to be. Yes, I made some terrible decisions, but everything worked out in the end, didn't it? Sure, I suffered some, as did others, but everything was okay in the end! If I do this, fight this war, then I can be with them again!

It's decided. "I'll do it," I said happily. He smiled.

"Do what?" I glanced over the back of the couch to see Savannah rubbing her eyes. "Kira, are you going away again?"

I smiled sadly at her and patted my lap. She rolled her eyes and walked around the couch, climbing up in my lap. "Why would you think that, Savannah?" I hugged her tightly, putting my chin on the top of her head.

She shrugged and snuggled closer to me. "I just have a feeling you will leave again. Like when you went to China."

I frowned. "What do you mean?" My eye caught Jiraiya's.

She shrugged again. "When you left, after we dropped you off at the airport, I had this feeling of dread. Like you would never come home. I was so scared when I heard about the lightening storm that would hit you guys. I felt like I had completely lost you at one point, Kira." She wrapped her arms around my neck and held on tight. "Please don't go. Don't leave me like that again, big sister. I can't lose you and Kaleb. Please don't go."

I rubbed her back, holding her tight against me. "You'll never lose me. No matter where I am, I will always be your big sister and I will always love you. No matter what happens. Okay?"

She shook her head, her whole body started to tremble. "No, you have to promise not to leave! Promise me, Kira!" The catch in her voice made my heart sink.

I can't leave my baby sister. How can I? She looks up to me so much. What if I wasn't there for her to look up to? What would she do? I fear of her falling to the tempting lure of drugs and alcohol, hanging out with the wrong crowd and getting into a lot of trouble. No, I have to give her some credit. She is a wonderful and smart girl. But a sisters worry never goes away. "Why did you never tell me?" I will not promise. I will not break it. If it is not made, it can never be broken.

She sniffled. "Because I knew people would look at me like they did you. I didn't want Mommy and Daddy to have to deal with even more attention from the press and stuff. I didn't want you to think I was insane." Her lock on my neck lessened and she looked up into my eyes. "Please," she whimpered. "Please promise me you'll never leave me again."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and glanced at Jiraiya. He was looking at us with sad eyes, his mouth tilted down in a frown. I had to swallow again before I could smile. "Look, why don't you go upstairs and get dressed. I'll take you out to eat. How about that? Hurry, before I changed my mind!" I acted happy as I pushed her off my lap and chased her towards the stairs. She looked back at me with a smile when she reached the top.

"You need to think everything over," Jiraiya said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I cannot promise you will come back." He walked to the front door and left, a soft click sounding when the door latched shut.

– –

Savannah and I went to visit Anne when we were done eating. She was sitting up in bed, Matt at her side. She smiled when she saw us and made Savannah climb up on the bed with her, to touch her slightly swollen stomach. I remember when mine looked like that. Before I knew I was pregnant. Just before I found out. But for how far along she is, mine had been a lot larger than that.

I sat down in a chair opposite the side Matt was on and watched the three of them interact. Savannah must be around the age of sixteen now, maybe seventeen, but she still acts like she did before I left for China. She is still my baby sister. And I love her so much. But my love for my own children, who grew within me, whom I carried for nine months, tugs at my heart. I love them too. But do I love them more? They hurt me, so so bad. They tried killing me from the inside. Are they worth losing my sister? Gaara, on the other hand, is a whole different story. I would give up anything just to see his face again. Right when we were finally able to be together, when everything was going in our favor, I had to leave. And without saying goodbye.

I would give up everything just to see his face again.

But I love my sister. I love my Mother, my brother, and Daddy. I love all of them. They are my family, too. They have put up with everything those ten years ago, everything I said and did they never, not once, called me insane or stupid. They stuck with me through everything and defended me against everyone they could. I love them.

What do I do?

I put my face in my hands and hid my tears, the only thing I could do at the moment. What do I tell Jiraiya? If he was truthfully sent to find me, to bring me back, then they must be in dire need of help. How could I make a difference? I'm one person. A person who has been out of practice. Its not like I took up Karate or anything. I never practiced like I did in the ninja world. My muscles have probably forgotten everything I used to know. All I can do now is heal and start a candle flame. No, I chided myself, I am not that out of practice with my powers. If anything I am more able to use them than I have ever been able to. I am in better control.

But how will that help?

If I don't have the stamina anymore, how will anything like that help? I need to be able to keep up with everything in order to be of any help.

"Hello, earth to Kira!" Anne laughed. A pillow hit me in the head. I looked up with a glare. "Dude, have you been crying?" She tried to get out of bed, but Matt stopped her. "Kira, why are you crying?"

I shrugged. "I was so scared that you had gotten hurt." Blame it on the trauma we suffered last night, good idea! "I'm just really glad you weren't."

She smiled sweetly at me. "I'm okay, really. Don't worry about me. Are you okay? Tell me the truth." I glanced at Savannah then back at her.

"Yes, I'm okay," I smiled.

About an hour later a nurse showed Jiraiya into the room, and he introduced himself to Matt and Anne, telling her he is the one who saved her life. I laughed and rolled my eyes. Of course he would take all of the glory. Just like Naruto. They act a lot alike, probably the result of his training when he was younger.

Jiraiya left me a card with the hotel's number he was staying at and told me I could leave a message anytime if he wasn't there. Then he left, giving his congratulations to the soon-to-be new mother.

"Do you know him?" Anne asked. "He seems awfully friendly with you." She gave me a wink and I could only imagine what was going on in her head.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips. "He's an old friend."

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**Now, it is only fair of me to tell you that the next chapter will be explaining everything, so your confusion will be fixed. **

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	5. Basics

**I coulnd't wait to post this chapter, so here it is! I hope you like it :)**

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Chapter 4, Basics.

Two days later I received a letter in the mail from Jiraiya. He requested that I meet him that Friday at a martial arts place in the city. He said he would be waiting for me, and to wear something comfortable. But I hadn't decided if I would go yet. Jiraiya wrote that it would my showing up would not be signing my life away. It would be to test my muscle strength to see how much I have lost. It is a smart thing to do, its one of the things that had run through my head when we first talked.

I spent that Thursday with Savannah, doing what ever she wanted to do. We went horse back riding through the fields, we went to the lake and fished for a little while, we went into the city and did a little bit of shopping. It was a fun day. We ate at a pizza place, one that I have never been to. And it was good. Normally I don't go for pizza, but it was what she wanted, so I agreed.

As the minutes passed, I found myself thinking more and more about the decision I would have to make tomorrow. Well, I knew I didn't have to make it right then. I could test my strength, then think it over. But deep down, I knew I would end up making my decision based on the results of our exercise. I would show up, give it my all, and decide. So why can't I just say it now? Why must I wait until everything is over until I can finally say the words?

Is it because I'm unsure?

Of course I won't leave my family! They are my whole life. I need them, and they need me. If I leave them now, with Kaleb getting shipped off in a few weeks, they will need me here. Savannah will need her big sister to help her though this mess. Who is going to be here when she has all of her "firsts"? Who is she going to tell? Mother? Surely not!

I glanced over at my baby sister on the other side of the car. Her bronze colored hair blew in the wind, a bright smile on her lips. Daddy got me a loner until I bought a new car. Daddy, I can't leave him again. With Kaleb going off to war, there is always a possibility he may not come back. Though I hate to think it, I must face the truth. I know first hand how dangerous it can be. I will be the next in line to inherit everything Daddy owns. If something should happen to him and mother, Savannah is to young to be such responsibilities. She is to young to enter the world of deceit and lies. I can't let her enter that world for a long time.

But despite everything I've been feeling, I found myself dressed in spandex pants and tank top at the martial arts place an hour earlier than Jiraiya had said to meet. As I removed my shoes and socks I watched him teaching a small group of children. They seemed happy, and like they were having fun. One little girl was trying to do a spin kick, but she kept falling. Jiraiya gave her a pointer, demonstrated in slow motion, and let her try again. She nailed it perfectly. I couldn't help but clap for her.

Jiraiya looked up in surprise, finally noticing my arrival. "I wasn't sure if you would make it," he said. But then he looked at the children and winked at them. "Now that my friend has arrived, I must leave you. I'll be back tomorrow, so keep practicing!" He patted them each on the head then motioned for me to follow him. "We will use the back dojo, its the more privet one."

As I followed him I couldn't help but wonder how he knows all of this. Those kids loved him, trusted him, and listened to him very well. Are kids just a lot more trusting these days? Or is it just him? Naruto was always one who you instantly felt you could trust, and it makes me wonder if he got it from Jiraiya. Like Sakura got her temper from Tsunade.

I set my shoes down by the door and crossed the room, gently picking up one of the wooden staffs. It was very well crafted, its weight central. Easy to move. I flipped it around my hands a few times, like I was able to with a sword at one point. The staff felt natural in my hand, something I missed. I missed the feeling of a weapon. Once I had been so appalled by the sight of blood, of a weapon. But I greatly miss it now.

But to my dismay, he told me to put it down. "We will start off with basics."

I watched as Jiraiya slid into a ready stance. I slid my feet apart, bent my knees slightly and leaned my torso forward, trying to remember. With my eyes closed I could almost envision what I used to look like in my stance. My hair blowing in my ponytail, my hands in tight fists, legs bent slightly, torso forward. I looked like a cat ready to pounce. I remember what it felt like to leap from tree to tree, feeling like I was flying. What it felt like to move tons on tons of water over my head like they weighed no more than bubbles. I smiled faintly. Yes, I remember now.

My eyes opened as my legs spread more apart, locking into place. My arms lifted from my sides slightly, bending at the elbow until one of my hands were almost at my face. My ready stance. I remember now.

Jiraiya nodded approvingly. "Good. Next."

Jiraiya slid backwards, his leg coming up slowly into a slow-motion kick, twisting his body until he was back into the same position he started in. The next hour flowed like this. He would do something in slow motion, I would follow his moves as much as I could. As much as my body would allow. I am definitely not as flexible as I was back when I was a teenager. And my stamina isn't the same, either. By the end of the hour I was huffing for air, and was forced to sit down.

Jiraiya came to sit over me, not even breathing hard. "That is something you will have to work on," he mumbled. "You did great, don't think otherwise. I would have thought you'd be much more out of it."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Thanks for thinking so highly of me," I grumbled. I couldn't help my sarcastic tone. It's second nature, always has been. I sat on the floor with my head between my knees for a few minutes then stood with a deep breath. Sweat trickled down my back, my shirt already soaked. I didn't know it was possible for spandex to get soaked. Thankfully, Jiraiya was opening one of the two windows in the room. "Tell me more about what is going on. How did it start?" I asked.

Jiraiya picked of the staff I had admired when I first entered and tossed it to me. "I will talk, but you must defend." And he was attacking me, not overly hard hits, but hard enough to jar my arms. I silently fought back, defending and attacking where ever I saw an opening.

And he began to talk. "About ten years ago two very unnatural children were born. Everything changed that day. The powers of the earth changed, the rotation shifted. Some became more powerful while others got weaker." He caught me in the back of the knee and sent me to the floor. "Those who became greedy started to declare war on the ones who were weaker. They wanted power, status in the world. Gangs formed, country boards were lost. Villages were plundered." I blocked a rather hard hit and tried to sweep his staff from his grasp, but he was to quick. I received a sharp whack in the back. "The Kage's became nothing but people to lead those who were frightened."

He stopped his tale for a moment, a series of combination moves trying and trip me and steal my staff from my hands. But I twisted and ducked, retreating out of his line of combat. I slipped behind him and tried to take his legs from under him, but he flipped and rounded, swinging his staff.

"Thankfully, not only the bad people became more powerful. You should see Naruto," he chuckled. His staff went for my face, but I blocked in time. "Iwa is back to fighting, and other have joined them. Kiri, Oto, Yoshi, they have all joined with Iwa. Oto and Iwa lead. They have become very dangerous, Kira. And powerful."

"Who," I gasped between blows, "is on the good side?"

He smirked, swiped my legs out from under me, and stood with the end of the staff at my throat. "Konoha, Suna, Hoshi,the village hidden in the stars, Tani, the village hidden in the Valleys, Shimo, the village hidden under the moon, have all joined us. I believe we are now making negotiations with Yuga, the village hidden in Hot Water. Tsunade and the Kazekage are trying every which way to get people on our side to face Iwa and the others. But there are still those who say they are neutral, but will kill any who enter their borders." Jiraiya held out his hand and helped me to stand. "But we have something special they don't have. We have you, Kira. You are the only person who can tip the tides and give us the advantage."

I took a water bottle from the bench and took a long drink, trying to get past the flutter in my heart at the mention of the Kazekage. "How?" I finally asked. "How can I give you the advantage you are talking about?"

He smiled and sat down next to me. "Because no matter where you are, everything is your element. You could be standing on an ocean, in the middle of a dessert, or on top of a mountain and you could still beat whoever you are fighting to a bloody pulp." He leaned back and wouldn't meet my eyes as he continued. "Plus, it helps that everyone thinks you are dead."

That sentence made me choke. Water came tumbling out of my lungs and onto the floor. "What!" I practically screamed at him. "What do you mean, they think I'm dead!" I can't even begin to describe the shock I am feeling. Dead! They all think I'm dead! If I hadn't been sitting, I think I may have fallen.

Jiraiya still didn't look at me. "You died. You stopped breathing, and your heart gave out. There was a big funeral and everything. I attended." His hands were clasped in front of him, and he stared at them. Hard. "Everyone wept. No one could figure out why your heart stopped, not even Tsunade, and she tried. She and Sakura spent countless hours trying to figure out why you were dead."

I remember the sight of Gaara holding Jessica at my feet before I closed my eyes. I remember his slight smile as I fell asleep. How would he have behaved when he noticed my heart was no longer beating? Did he think I was simply in a deep sleep? Or had he noticed right away? My heart felt like stopping right now. I felt grief over leaving him like that. Of leaving my new born babies.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I guess it makes sense, to a point. Issac said I had been like I was in some kind of coma on the plane. Could my heart really have stopped and he just didn't know? I took another breath and let it out slowly.

"Then how did you know where to find me? How did you get here?" I asked in a whisper. It's starting to be to much to take in.

He gave a little roll of his shoulders, and stretched his neck this way and that. "Tsunade had a feeling. Because she could find nothing wrong with your heart, she suspected that maybe you went home." Jiraiya stood and went to the window, looking out at the busy street. "And as people got stronger, new powers were developed. Tsunade figured out a way to send me here. We planned out a time when she would bring me back, with or without you. There was no telling when or if I would find you, and she didn't want me getting lost in this world."

I nodded, I guess I could accept that. "How much longer?"

He shrugged and seemed to count on his fingers. "I have about three more days before she brings me back."

I nodded, that, too, I can accept. He is here, after all. But something else nagged at me. He is _too_ familiar with everything around here. He knows what a car is, that I had crashed and could have been seriously hurt. He knows his way around the city, found this place. "How long have you been here?" I asked.

Again, he shrugged. But this time he didn't need to count. "Around three or four years."

My jaw dropped. No way! "How come I have never seen you before!" I knew I was staring at him like he had just said he was some kind of drag queen and Tsunade happened to be a monkey. Things I knew were impossible. Though, I wouldn't doubt for a second he would dress up to get close to ladies. Naruto would, so obviously he would.

A sly smirk made its way to his mouth. "I'm not just some big dumb guy who chases after every skirt he sees, like Tsunade may have told you. I can be sneaky, and get the information I need in record time." He chuckled and held up his hand. "I wanted to observe you. I knew who you were the second I saw you, but I was unsure of how to approach you. You never went out, and press follows you everywhere you go if you do. There is always someone watching you if you are at the club, which I have to say is a big hit."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "So you have been hiding in my shadow for years?"

"Yes, you could say that." He shrugged. He does a lot of shrugging. "It took me two years to find you. When I came in your world I had no idea what to make of everything. I spent a half of a year with a family in the country of Kansas."

"State," I corrected softly. I couldn't help but smile at his mistake.

He waved a hand like it didn't matter. "Anyway, I ended seeing you in the paper and the oldest daughter of the family, the little cutie, told me all about you. Told me where I could find you. So I traveled here with her and she helped me get an apartment to stay in, helped me with everything then she went home. And here I am," he smiled brightly at me. "I found this studio place about a year ago and have been helping out here ever since."

I narrowed my eyes at him. That poor little girl. I hope she knew how to defend herself against an old creep like Jiraiya. He seemed to know my line of thought and stuck his tongue out at me and pulled his eyelid down. I laughed, a real, happy laugh. I inwardly scoffed at myself. I just found out this guy had been stalking me, and I laughing at him. But... it feels so natural.

Unlike the sound of my cell phone going off. I quickly grabbed it from inside my shoe and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Kira!" Savannah yelled on the other side of the line. "Where are you?" Her voice turned a lot more soft.

I smiled. "I'm with an old friend. Why? What's wrong?"

There was a giggle in her voice. "Nothing, big sister! Just, there is someone here to see you. So you should come home. I think you would like to see him, too."

"Him?" I questioned. "Who is it?" Who could be at Mothers country home? I can't think of anyone! Mike would just be bringing Anne home from the hospital, so it isn't him. "Savannah, who is there?"

She giggled again. "Just come home and see!" The line clicked and my phone beeped, letting me know the line ended. I glared at my cell phone.

Jiraiya was looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, slipping my feet into my shoes. "That was Savannah, my little sister. I have to go." I was just about to walk out the door when I glanced back. "Jiraiya? Thank you."

He gave me a nice smile. "You are welcome. Give me a call."

I nodded. "I will."

– –

As I pulled into the driveway, Savannah came running out of the house with her hands up in the air. Screaming. I pulled to a screeching halt and jumped out, running to her and hiding her behind my back. But that is when I heard her giggles. She wrapped her arms around my waist and laughed.

"You can't hide from me!" Came a bellowing voice as a man ran out the front door. He stopped short when he saw me. My jaw dropped. No way! "Kira!" He grinned and loped down the stairs, coming to a stop in front of me. "Good to see you!"

Savannah giggled. "He said he was your friend. I like him, he's funny. And his doggy is cute!"

My head swirled in circles. "What are you doing here?" I asked. First Jiraiya, now...

Kiba looked affronted. "I thought you would be happy to see me," he frowned. "It took me awhile to find you, too." He crossed his arms over his broad chest and pouted.

"Why are you here?" It was the only thing that came out of my mouth. I had meant to say something else, but it just came out. I closed my eyes briefly and shook my head. "Savannah, why don't you go swimming or something? I would like to talk to him alone." She giggled and ran off.

Kiba watched her run up the steps then turned back to look at me. Some impulse came over him, I could see him trying to hold back, but he gave up and swept me into a strangling hug. "Kami, we all thought you were dead," he whispered. "You don't know how happy I was when I found out you weren't."

I laughed and hugged him back. "Me, too." He snorted and let me go. "But, seriously, Kiba, what are you doing here?"

He linked his hands behind his head and looked down at me. He has definitely grown. I can see the maturity in his eyes. This is no longer the childish Kiba I had once known. So much can change in ten years. So much. "I cam looking for Jiraiya. He missed the date. Time travels differently here than it does back home. Though not as much as it had. Our worlds are starting to intermix, the time is off by only a few days now."

I couldn't help the gasp. "But when I came back here I had been gone a few hours!"

He nodded solemnly. "That is what we are worried about." He gave his head a quick scratch. "Jiraiya was supposed to be at the meeting point a year ago. So, Tsunade-sama sent me after him." He grinned again, looking a little like the old Kiba I knew.

"How does she do it?" I asked as we started up the steps towards the house. "How does she send you two to my world?"

He gave a small shrug. "Some kind of jutsu she developed. Which is amazing, considering her forte is in healing. To get a time jutsu," he shrugged and that was all he needed to say. "So... Have you seen Jiraiya?"

I smiled. "Yes. I was just with him, actually."

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	6. Reaction

**For your reading pleasure, here is chapter 5 of Abnormal Disaster :) I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 5, Reaction.

That night when I went to bed, I could really feel my workout with Jiraiya. And it didn't help that Kiba still has his sick sense of humor. He kept tripping me whenever possible and tackled me into the pool as well. I called Anne before I was completely out and talked with her for a few hours. Then I was out like a light.

The next morning both Kiba and Jiraiya were in my kitchen when I woke up. Surprisingly, breakfast was being cooked, and there was orange juice sitting on the counter for me. Savannah was already chowing down. She told me, between mouth fulls, that Mother and Father had gone out, something to do with the club. Busy work. A plate piled with bacon, eggs, french toast, regular toast, hash brown, and home fries was set in front of me. I looked down at it with astonishment.

Jiraiya chuckled and Kiba smirked. "I knew a time when you would gobble that up without a second thought," Kiba said. "Though, you didn't have to watch your figure then."

I threw a slice of toast at him for the comment, laughing when it stuck to his face. Savannah almost choked on her food because she was laughing so hard. "That was a long time ago," I said. "I don't get nearly as much exercise now as I did then."

"Well," Kiba said, his eyes glinting, "we are just going to have to change that, aren't we?" He sounded so confident. All laughter went out of me and I stared down at my food with a frown. I heard him shift his weight. "Finish that up. And there's more where that came from, if you are still hungry." His voice still had the teasing ring, but the confidence was gone.

Do they really think I can just leave? That I can make a decision like that so easily? If I went back... I would never see my family again. I would be going into a war. Death. Hate. Fighting. Everything I dislike now. I would be tossed back into a world of chaos. Yes, I loved it there. I miss it. But am I ready to go back into such a place that is more unstable now than it had been ten years ago? I don't know.

I really don't know.

So I began to eat. And I ate. And ate. And ate. Much to their amusement, I asked for more. Yesterday had really wiped out my energy, and the food is giving me more. Isn't that how it was in their world? When I ran out of energy, I would eat to get more. It seems like the same rule still applies. Though I haven't used any of my power since healing Anne after the accident. I shouldn't be this wiped. But sparring with Jiraiya had somehow wiped me out like I spent the day using all of my powers at the same time.

I am so out of shape, I thought. This is going to suck.

What is going to suck? Not being able to keep up with the others? I don't even know if I'm going back yet! I wanted to slap myself. I had a really strong urge to, but Savannah would take that as another mental thing to tell Mommy and Daddy about. I gave her a slide glance, and when she looked up at Kiba, I snatched her last piece of bacon and shoved it in my mouth. But she caught the movement and looked at me with utter disbelief.

Kiba roared with laughter. "That's the Kira I knew!" I glared at him, wishing I had another toast to throw at him.

Everyday for the next week I spent at the martial arts dojo with either Jiraiya or Kiba. They both helped me slowly get back into shape, toning my muscles by making me lift weights and sparring with them. I became more flexible again, and I made sure to stretch every morning. Anne noticed the change in my physical appearance, which after only one week I never knew would change. But she said the biggest change was in my mood. She said I act as happy as I was before all of that dream stuff happened.

Two more days and I would have to decide. For in two days is when Tsunade will be expecting Kiba and Jiraiya to return home, with or without me.

But I was currently trying to not think about that. I had other things to worry about. Like Kiba and Jiraiya attacking me simultaneously. I had to bend far backwards, to the point where my head almost touched the floor, to avoid both other their blows. I did a back cartwheel and tried to swipe Kiba's feet from under him, which he simply jumped over. Akamaru cheered me on from the sidelines, his barks echoing in the dojo.

Jiraiya swung at me with his staff, barely missing my shoulder as I did a hand spring to get out of the way. I spun my own staff over my head and flipped sideways, hitting his staff hard enough to jar his arm in a way that made his hold on his staff loosen. My next attack sent his staff flying, and I had him under the blunt end of my staff. I gave him a wink and spun on Kiba, hitting him hard upside the head, then he, too, was under the blunt end of my staff.

"Whoa!"

I gasped and spun on my heel, looking over to where Akamaru had been sitting. Now, there were two other figures with him. Savannah and Kaleb. Who both looked astonished. No, _beyond_ astonished. Kaleb looked almost horrified.

I dropped my staff and slid to the floor, and I knew that it was a fluid movement, one I didn't mean to make. Kaleb's eyes narrowed. "Who the hell are you?" he whispered harshly. "You sure aren't my clumsy sister."

It was hard to pull air into my lungs. How can they be here? They shouldn't have seen that. They shouldn't have seen me fighting. Not my brother and sister. But there was a faint relief that Daddy and mother wasn't with them. Everything would have turned to complete hell if they were. I realized he was waiting for an answer.

"Kaleb-" I started, but Jiraiya cut me off.

"She was practicing," he said. His voice was so casual. He stood and dusted off his pants. "She is a very talented young woman, you know. Very special."

Kaleb looked at him with disgust. "My sister hates fighting. She would never learn how, let alone be like- _that_." The way he said it set my anger flowing.

I stood up and my hands fisted. "Oh yeah? And how would you know! You never cared enough to ask! All you cared about was me being perfect in front of the cameras and in front of Daddy! Maybe I happen to enjoy this, ever think of that?" And to finish it off, I stamped my foot. I almost spun around and slapped Kiba as hard as I could when I heard his snicker.

Savannah took a few steps forward and stopped in front of me. "Kira, if you like to fight, then you should. We are just surprised, that's all." She glanced over at the other two in the room. Then she looked up at me, her brown eyes knowing. "It's okay, big sister. I love you no matter what." She hugged me then, and I hugged her back, in a state of confusion. But she let go and she was off talking with Kiba, blushing here and there.

When I looked back at Kaleb, his jaw was set and he was still glaring at me. Butterflies sprouted in my stomach. I know what I have to say. But how? How do I tell him I'm insane? Better yet, how do I tell him I'm _not_ insane?

"Kaleb," I started, bracing myself. "It was all real." His head jerked back and confusion clouded his eyes a little. "It wasn't a dream," I whispered, trying to get him to understand. "It was real. All of it."

He finally got what I was talking about. He scoffed and shook his head. "You know, maybe they were right. Maybe you are insane." And he started walking off.

My anger got the best of me. "Hold it!" I yelled after him, right on his heels. I grabbed his shoulder and shoved him into a wall, turning him so I could see his hard brown eyes. "How dare you say that to me! You, of all people, know I am not insane!"

"Then why are you bringing it up?" he yelled back. "It's over with, Kira! Don't bring that kind of attention to yourself again." He was about to push me away. But I lifted my hand, and his eyes were glued to it.

"If I'm insane," I whispered dangerously, "then so are you."

Kaleb's eyes reflected the dancing flame on my palm. I closed my hand and it disappeared. "How... How did you...?"

I licked my lips and backed up, still glaring at him. "I told you, it is all real. Everything is real. I have more proof than that." I took his arm and pulled him back into the dojo, pointing at Kiba and Jiraiya. "They are proof. This is proof." I made the flame spark and ignite back on my hand, holding it level with his face. "This is proof." With my other hand I lifted all of the beads of sweat from myself, Jiraiya, and Kiba and rose it to the air with my other hand, swishing it back and forth in a big blob. "What other proof do you need, Kaleb? Do you need me to start creating sculptures out of rock? Do you need me to make it snow in the summer? Because I can. I can do anything."

Savannah was entranced by the floating water blob, her head moving back and forth with it, her eyes wide. "I think she is telling the truth. I believe her," she said. Savannah came up and gently pulled me back. "Why didn't you ever show us before?" she asked, her child likeness completely gone for the moment. I have never seen my little sister act older.

I shrugged. "I knew I'd get that reaction," I said, motioning to Kaleb. "You would never believe me."

"Well, we do." Savannah's eyes moved to our brother. I have never been more proud of her, either. "Big brother, she is our sister. We need to support her. We can't go around calling each other insane. We are family, remember? And family stick together, no matter what." Her hand squeezed mine, and her other reached for his.

Kaleb took her hand and looked at me sadly. He scoffed, then, shaking his head in disapproval. "You'd kick more ass if you went off to war instead of me." I couldn't help but smile.

Jiraiya cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. I glanced over at them. "Savannah, Kaleb, I want to properly introduce you to Jiraiya-sama. He is one of the strongest people in his world. And he's come here searching for me." Jiraiya nodded to them and glanced over at Kiba. "And that is Kiba. He was one of my best friends. Still is," I corrected when he gave me puppy eyes. "And, of course, Akamaru is his dog that goes everywhere with him."

Kaleb frowned as he looked back to me. "So... It's all really real? It was never a dream?"

I smiled at him sadly. I know how much he wants me to be normal. Life would be so much easier. "Yes, it was all real. Never a dream." But I am not normal. I am me. Kira Lorenzo. Kira of Suna. Kira, the ninja who is going to save the world. "And I am going back." Savannah's hand tightened, but then she let go, looking down at her feet.

Kaleb shook his head. "No. No you are not."

This is it. I have made my decision. I will return, and I will save my friends. "Yes. I have to, Kaleb. They need me."

His brown eyes bore into mine. I could feel him trying to read my mind, trying to figure out why I am saying it. Why I want to go back. Surely he remembers what I said about that place. How dangerous it is there. How many people I've killed with my hand alone. He must have no clue why I want to go back. But what do I say to him? I'm going back to save the planet from being destroyed? I could stay here and do that! No. I'm not going back because I want to fight.

I'm going back because they _need_ me.

I'm not needed here. I'm wanted, but not needed. My family will miss me, and I them. I might never see them again... But I am okay with that. If I fail, then I am sorry, I whispered in my head. But I have to try. I can't sit here knowing people will die that don't have to. I can't sit here and do nothing to help. I wish he could understand.

I licked my lips, my mind racing. "Why are you going to war, Kaleb?" I asked suddenly. I found the way to make him understand.

But he only looked puzzled. "To fight for my country."

"To make a difference?" I helped.

"Yeah, so what?" He crossed his arms over his chest, defensiveness setting in. I pulled his hands away from his body and held them tightly in mine.

"That is why I need to go back," I said slowly. "I am the only one who can make a difference."

"But that isn't your country! You don't have to," he pleaded. "Kira, please. Stay home. Stay where I know you are safe."

I smiled at him again, but with slight mockery. "_You_ stay home where I know you are safe. I am not putting myself in anymore danger than you are. I'm probably going to be in less danger than you! They don't have guns. And I have my powers. I will be perfectly safe."

"No to mention," Kiba spoke up, "that I am going to be her guardian. Akamaru and I can smell danger coming for miles."

Guardian? I don't need that. He's just trying to help with the situation. "I have all of my friends there, Brother. There is no need to worry about me."

"What about Mom and Dad?" He asked, taking a different rout. "If I'm killed then you are next in line. You can't leave."

"They have Savannah."

"She's to young!"

"She is a strong girl, and you know that. She knows everything we do."

"She isn't ready."

At this point, my anger was starting to bring itself back. "And you think I am?" I snapped. "I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility! I can barely manage my own club, Kaleb! I can't stand the press breathing down my neck, the bills, the paper work, the fights. I can' stand it at all. Savannah can. She helps me all the time with the paper work, how to settle lawsuits against us, and she makes sure the bills are paid on time. Savannah can run the whole network perfectly fine by herself, Kaleb." Then I added as an after thought, "You aren't going to die! So don't even think about it."

"What happens if you die?" he whispered. "Will you come back? Or will your body be stuck in that world forever?"

My mouth opened by nothing came out. I don't know. When I woke up here my body had never left. And Jiraiya and Kiba said there was a funeral in Suna for me. So my other body had been left there. Better question: What happens when I wake up!

I swallowed before I could answer. "I died once before. In Suna. They," I motioned to the two behind me, "said there was a big funeral and they buried my body. I'm assuming when I die there, I will come back to the body I am in right now."

It was then that Jiraiya interrupted. "I think we should move this conversation to a different place," he whispered so only I could hear. I glanced over to the other side of the room, where kids were starting to file in and take their seats. "My class has just arrived."

I rubbed my forehead hard. "Kaleb, we can talk later. But, right now, I have to go see Anne. Take Savannah home and meet me at my place later tonight, okay? Check the club first." I slipped on my shoes and walked out, not saying goodbye to anyone. I'm so tense I could be mistaken for a cat ready to pounce on a mouse.

– –

Anne was laying on her back giggling as she poked at her bloated stomach on her couch. I walked in and sat down on the chair next to the couch with a sigh. I'm still in the clothes I was in when I worked out. I had been to tired to go all the way home, change, and come back to her place. So I just went right over. Anne turned towards me with a scrunched up face.

"You smell awful."

I rolled my eyes and put my feet up on the coffee table. "Thank you." I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes, letting out a tired sigh. A slight ache in my left hip was starting to form.

"What have you been doing?" Anne asked. "Did you run five marathons or something?"

I scoffed. "No, but something worse. I was doing martial arts with an old friend." I smiled to myself. Jiraiya really isn't an "old friend" but I think of him that way. He is apart of the world I had once lived in.

Anne's face seemed to swipe clean. Blank. "Who?"

I shrugged, it doesn't really matter, does it? I don't need to tell her any names.

Anne dropped it. "I think I have something that will make you happy!" She jumped off the couch and was whispering in my ear. "I know who the daddy is!" She squealed and clapped her hands like a five year old.

A coldness splashed over me. "What do you mean? Isn't Matt...?"

She shook her head. No. She cheated? Well, I shouldn't be all that surprised. Hadn't she cheated with Issac after the plane crashed? I should have suspected that she would at some point. But to have another mans child while she is married... It could ruin their marriage. It _will_ ruin their marriage.

I clamped my jaw shut. I will not discuss this with her. I quickly changed the subject. "I was thinking of do yoga.. Will you do it with me?" It's not completely a lie. I need to find a way to become more flexible, and tune into my body. It would be a good way to do both at once.

Anne frowned at me. "Um... Ew?" She laughed hard. "No way, sorry, but no. That is nothing I am interested in." She sat back down on the couch and turned on the TV, but it was clear her attention was else where. "Who were you with earlier?" she asked. "Matt said he saw you hanging around this guy with funny tattoo's on his cheeks."

I glanced over at her. She was flipping through the channels trying to find something. But I saw the interest under her cool exterior. I haven't known her my whole life for nothing. "Another old friend I ran into yesterday."

"Anyone I might know?" She found something on TV and left it on that channel for a few seconds, than went back to flipping it every second.

I stretched and stood, trying to get rid of the cramp starting to form in my left leg. Did I pull something? "No, I don't think so." A sharp pain stabbed at my hip. I rubbed at it, willing it to go down. What is wrong with me? Surely this isn't because I'm old? "Want to go out to eat?"

Anne's eyebrows shot up. "With you dressed and smelling like that? No way!"

"Suit yourself." I shrugged and started moving towards the door. "I have to go. But I will call you later."

Anne sighed heavily. "Have fun at the club tonight," she said. I closed the door and headed down to my car.

– –

I sipped my wine slowly as I scanned the crowds in in the club. Its pretty full already, and it isn't even ten o'clock yet. I've caught sight of Kiba and Jiraiya already, but my brother has not arrived yet. Maybe he wont even come. No, I smiled inwardly. He will come. Because he will try to dissuade me from going. There has been two drunken fights already.

And I am ready for bed.

I sipped a bit more of my wine and lounged in my privet little lounge room, with my comfortable red couch and matching chairs. A crystal table in the middle of it all. A bead curtain hides my privet lounge from the rest of the crowd, but I can still see every single person that is in my club. I can also see all of my workers. The screens help. I glanced at the one that showed the front door. Kaleb just walked in.

Good.

I pressed a small red button under the arm of the couch I was sitting on. Two men in uniforms entered my lounge. "Bring me my brother and those two." I motioned to the screen that showed Kiba and Jiraiya, both flirting with girls with overly large breasts. Two of my best dancers.

The men nodded and left, going to collect the men.

It took five minutes for all of them to make their way to the back of the club and up the stairs where my lounge was located. I was looking down on the mass of dancing people when they entered. "That will be all," I said to the men in uniforms. They nodded again and left. "Please, have a seat."

"What is this about?" Jiraiya asked. He sounds grumpy.

I took another sip of wine. "I've been thinking..." Kiba made a scoffing sound with a low chuckle. I ignored him. "And I have a few conditions to leaving with you."

Kaleb shifted uncomfortably. "What does this have to do with me?" he asked angrily.

I glanced over at him. "I want you to put me in the hospital," I said simply. "I will go into a coma state, this I already know. It is what happened last time. Issac had explained it perfectly, if you remember."

Kaleb's jaw had fallen open. Jiraiya and Kiba averted their eyes from me.

I continued. "I have more than enough money in my bank account to pay for all of the care of my body. I will be transferring all of it to your account first thing in the morning. And I want you to tell Mom and Daddy I love them. And... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you."

Kaleb's face fell into his hands. He didn't say anything.

I looked over at Jiraiya and Kiba next. "I don't want anyone to know of my return," I told them. "I will tell who I want. But only who I want. Tsunade-sama is a must, but that is all. No Council, no Naruto, no no one." I stood then, leaving my glass on the table in front of me. I felt my long dress swish as I stood, then fall neatly over my legs. The high collar and the long sleeves suggest a mourning gown. And that is just what it is. I am mourning my life here.

For I know I will never return to it.

"I will leave the club to Savannah, when she feels comfortable taking over. Until then, it will be under Daddy's rule once more." I walked towards the screen that blocked peoples view of me and pushed it aside. "Ashley," I called down to the bar tender. Every turned to look up at me. "A free round of drinks for everyone! What ever they want, on me."

I turned my back on the loud cheering.

I went to my brother and knelt down in front of him, putting both of my hands on his shoulders. "Brother," I whispered. "I am sorry for leaving you with all of this. I really am." He slowly looked up at me, tears in his eyes. "I will not lie to you. I do not plan on returning." Those tears flowed down his cheek and his jaw twitched. "But I will always love you. You are my big brother. I will never forget you. I know you are taking on such a big burden knowing all of this. And I am sorry to put it on you. But I need to do this."

He nodded slowly. Then I was pulled into a tight hug. "You just watch your back. Never let anyone get behind you." He squeezed me, and I hugged him back tightly. "Don't worry about anything here. I will take care of it all."

My own tears fell.

* * *

**We shall see how things turn out. Review?**


	7. Life

**Well, I believe the wait has been long enough. So here is chapter six! Enjoy :)**

* * *

Chapter 6, Life.

The last few days have been the hardest for me. Trying not to show my sadness to Mom and Daddy, and trying to explain everything about running my club to Savannah. She's spent every night with me, walking around the club and talking with the workers. They all love her to death and I know they will not give her any trouble whatsoever.

The reporters, on the other hand, have been on our heels like there wont be a tomorrow. There are questions going around like: What is going on with the Lorenzo family, why is the oldest daughter showing her sister the ropes? Does she plan on leaving? Who are the two new men in her life? Potential boy friends? It gets old. Very quickly.

At one point I couldn't help myself. It had just stopped raining and I was taking a walk, going to buy Savannah something special. Just a little trinket, nothing to big. A reporter was following me, trying to be stealthy, hiding here and there whenever I glanced back at him. It was starting to upset me, nothing I do it privet. Nothing. So, being a little devilish, I turned the water under his feet to ice and walked away laughing as he tried to figure out why he slipped.

Savannah almost had a heart attack laughing when I told her about it.

"Why don't you burn them?" She asked me one time. "They will leave you alone then!"

I had just rolled my eyes at her. "Because then even more people will be following me, wondering why I have super powers!"

She hasn't brought it up since.

But tomorrow is the day.

The day I will say my final goodbyes and leave them all behind. The day will be the last day I ever see my family and friends. I stopped over at Anne's to say goodbye.

And she was in a bad mood. "Why the hell are you hanging out with that old creep?" She tossed the magazine she had been reading on the floor and wound the blanket around her shoulders tighter. "He isn't cute. Doesn't seem to have much money. And for _God's_ sake! He's, like, ninety years old! Can you say EW?"

I couldn't help the smile. "Actually, he is only like fifty. His hair is all white because of people like _you_," I tapped her nose as I passed her, going to get a glass of water. "Besides, if you got to know him, I'm sure you would figure out why I like him. He's funny, confident, and stupid." I paused, looking back at her. "Wait a minute... aren't those the same reasons I like you?" Her glare had me laughing.

"And what about that other guy? He's about our age, right? Why don't you date him?" Anne sunk back down on the couch to the point where I could no longer see her.

"He is a friend." I said each word slowly, so she would understand. "I have no feelings for him, nor would I ever want to!" I dumped the rest of the water in the sink and set the glass on the counter. "And he already has a girl," I mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear. Let her think what she wants. That last little bit was so she would drop it. I don't actually know if he has someone yet or not.

Anne humphed and that was the end of that.

Next I went to the country house to see Mom. I had dropped Savannah off with her before I went to Anne's. Mom and I played a card game and laughed over a glass of wine. We talked about my childhood, trying to see what I remembered and what I didn't. The things she brought up... They are better left forgotten. When it was time to say goodbye I gave her a hug that I wished would last. I never got to say goodbye last time. It is much different. Much more emotional. Especially since she doesn't know I am saying goodbye for good. And when I left, I was crying. The second I sat in my car the water works began and I sped off, not wanting to tempt myself into turning around.

Daddy was at the club when I arrived. We spent the night laughing, just as mother and I had. We talked about other things, though. Like the club, and how well it is doing. How he has been thinking about letting me take over the family business since Kaleb has shown not an ounce of interest in doing so. My heart ached with every word, but I held it all in. He will never know, until tomorrow, that I will never take over for him. I wont be around to do so. I will be in a coma, laying in a hospital bed for the rest of my life. Until I stop breathing. Or until my heart stops beating.

I wonder how long they can keep me alive?

I shook the question out of my head. No, I don't want to know.

When we closed the club Daddy came up to my apartment where we talked some more, him drinking some whiskey while I sipped my wine. Our tastes are so different, but we are the same. We both have an eye for business, we both care so much about our family, and we both have our secrets. I've known for a long time that Daddy always kept things from us, but I never bothered to ask. I don't want to know. And he knows I have secrets. He doesn't ask. He doesn't want to know. But I think my secret is much, much bigger than his will ever be.

When he said goodnight I hugged him tightly, just as I had mom. He squeezed me close, like he used to when I was young.

"I love you, Daddy," I whispered, hugging him slightly tighter.

"I love you, too, baby girl." He lifted me a little in the air and set me back down. "Now, get some rest. Tomorrow is a big day." He kissed my forehead and left, closing the door behind him.

I couldn't choke back the tears this time, either.

– –

"Are you ready?" Jiraiya asked me softly, his face full of concern.

They don't have to tell me. I know I look like crap. My hair is a mess, my eyes are all red, blood shot, and itchy. My makeup is still smeared on my cheeks, and around my eyes. I never took it off last night, nor did I take a shower or brush my hair. That is why it is such a mess.

"No. Give me a few minutes." I shut the door on their faces and went to take a shower. I called Savannah when I was done.

"Hello?" her cute little voice said.

I could barely hold back my tears at the sound of her voice. "I love you, Savannah, and good luck." It was all I could say.

Her voice changed, quivering slightly. "I love you, too, Kira. Please, be careful," she whispered the last part. "I will think of your every night. So think of me, too!"

I laughed slightly. "I will never stop thinking of you, baby sister. Unfortunately, you are always in my head."

She laughed at that. "Just be careful, okay?"

"I will," I whispered, unable to talk any louder. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

We hung up then, both of us a little too choked up. I applied some makeup, making sure to stick my eyeliner and lip gloss in a small bag I will be taking with me. I made sure to only put normal things in there, because I know they will also be staying with my body. I slipped a picture of my family that I used to have in my wallet, which I wont be bringing with me, in the bag as well.

I entered my living room to see Jiraiya and Kiba lounging on my chairs watching TV. "Ready." I said finally, wondering in the back of my head how they got in.

Kiba glanced over my clothes. Simple pair of leggings with a long shirt over it, the color a green-blue. "You are going to be cold..."

"It's winter there," Jiraiya offered.

I cleared my throat, it still being a little full after my chat with my sister. "I know. But it isn't here. And people would wonder why I dressed heavy." They both nodded, being okay with my decision. And that is good, because I wouldn't be changing even if they had told me too.

"Then let us get moving," Jiraiya said. He stood and cracked his back. "Ugh, I'm getting old," he muttered under his breath.

Kiba put his arm over my shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. "Everything will be okay."

We walked through town, leaving my car where it was parked outside the club. We walked down into the area of New York that is considered the "bad" part. I stuck close to Jiraiya and Kiba. I've never liked coming down here, even when we used to live just on the other side, and had to come through this area every day to get to school.

People stared as we walked by, some gang members, and some just children unfortunate enough to live in this section of the city. A few girls were on the other side of the road, playing jump rope. The song they sang as they did little skips along with their jumps started to ring in my head, sounding hallow. My breathing quickened and my vision blurred.

Panic sparked.

"Don't fight," Jiraiya's voice echoed. "Flow."

I gasped as a sharp pain stabbed hard into my hip. I fell to the ground and everything spun. I

heard two other thuds next to me and knew Jiraiya and Kiba went down.

This is it.

These seconds are the last in my own world. I stared at the blurry girls as they jumped. Their song echoed, getting softer and softer. The bright colors of their shirts blended and the song faded completely from my ears.

And from my eyes.

– –

A strong smell hit my senses. I felt like I was washed back into my body, like an ocean wave rolling over rocks. I had never stopped to think about what would happen when I reached this world. I had been buried, right? Claustrophobia set in, on its highest notch. I lifted my hands, stiff and heavy, and banged on the cushions above me. I pounded. I screamed, a hoarse sound coming from my throat. Tears leaked down my cheeks.

Dirt hit my face, seeping in from somewhere. I tried to scream again, but only a croak came out. I kept banging, hoping I could get out. The panic I felt was overwhelming. The blackness was petrifying. Tremors wracked my body, and I began kneeing and kicking as well as slamming my hands into it. And I screamed continuously, my voice getting stronger and stronger each second.

"Please!" I screamed. "Please! Help me!" A bit of dirt fell down my throat and I started coughing and wheezing, not able to get any air. I hacked and hacked, trying to get it out of my throat to allow air in. But I couldn't. My heart slammed against my chest, my body automatically resorting to hyperventilation.

And all at once everything was gone.

The top of the coffin I was in was blown away, and the moon was staring down at me. I sat up, gasping for air, trying to fill my lungs. My hands were shaking as I grabbed at my throat, willing air to go down. I don't think I've ever shook so much.

And there were arms around me. There were voices. Jiraiya's voice. But I couldn't pay attention. Everything was cloudy, everything whooshing in my ears. I grabbed at them, still crying hysterically. Jiraiya lifted me, and I struggled. I tried to get loose, to get away from the confines of his arms. And he let me down, put me on the hard earth next to the grave.

I was aware enough to know that.

Then he left me alone, backed off.

I curled up and cried, holding myself tight in a little ball. It's odd. I had been so scared being confined, but now that I'm out in the open I am petrified of the openness. I clutched at my knees, trying to bring them closer. My body shook once more, then settled down a little. My heart rate started to slow and my breathing became calm. I laid there like that for a long time. And when I opened my eyes and finally started to stir, there was Jiraiya, helping me to sit up.

He brushed hair from my face and checked my pulse on the side of my neck. He said something to someone behind him and looked back at me. "Are you okay? How do you feel?" He asked both questions slowly, but it still took me a few minutes to register both.

I licked my cracked lips, but it didn't do anything. My tongue and throat are to dry. Jiraiya handed me some water. I gulped and gulped the water, but he quickly took it away before I could drown myself with it. "I'm okay," I whispered slowly. "I'm okay."

"How do you feel?" he repeated.

I frowned at him. I looked down at my body, wondering how I became so clean. And cold. My green-blue shirt and leggings are hair free, lint free, and wrinkle free. But I hurt. My whole body hurts. I feel weak. I don't know if I could have sat up by myself or not. Jiraiya is holding me up. Would I fall if he let go? Probably. It is hard to blink. I worked my tongue in my mouth, trying to get a reply for him. But he seemed to understand.

He said something else to someone behind him. When he looked back at me, the moon on his hair made it look like he had a white spiky halo. I smiled. That is funny. Jiraiya would be the last one with a halo. "I'm going to pick you up," he said. Huh? What does he mean? But before I could speak the answer, I was in his arms, held tightly, but carefully against his chest.

Panic sparked in my chest, but when he looked down at me with his calm eyes, I was instantly quelled. My head lolled, and finally fell on his shoulder as I fell asleep.

– –

I became aware to the smell of a stinging alcohol smell. Like an antibacterial wipe or something. I couldn't help the shiver. I haven't had to smell that since I was last in a hospital.

My eyes snapped open, and I gasped. But my dry throat sent me into a coughing fit. I was handed a glass of water and I greedily gulped it down until it was gone. I stared at the empty glass, wishing there was more. It felt so good going down and it made my whole body feel tingly. But I shivered again and almost dropped the glass, thankfully a hand caught it before it fell.

I finally looked to my side to see Kiba sitting in a chair next to the bed I was sitting in. He gave me a smile as he set the glass down on a small table. I stared at it, wishing he would fill it and give it back. But I knew he wouldn't because there is no pitcher of water anywhere. I looked back at him and stared. He cleared his throat and sat back, staring at me. I glanced down at his clothes. He changed. He's wearing a dark black leather jacket with a white shirt under, and some black pants. But his forehead protector still isn't on.

I looked away from him and studied the room. It is small, very small. No one else is in here.

And that is it.

I took a deep breath and yawned as I let it out. I stared hard at the door, wishing I could see through it. But that, of course, is very impossible. Another shiver hit my body, but this time it didn't go away quickly like the others did.

Kiba cleared his throat again. "Your body is thawing, you'll be shivering for awhile." He said it so casually. I looked at him.

Thawing? How long was I in that coffin for? But then I remembered. My body has been sitting in there for ten years. The shivers subsided for the moment and I tried to breath deep. My body was cooped up in that tiny little box for ten whole years. I worked my tongue again. Another shiver hit, but this time from disgust. I haven't moved my tongue for ten years. How nasty is that? I haven't brushed my teeth, or taken a shower, or brushed my hair for ten whole years.

I swallowed my ten year old spit.

I had the sudden urge to throw up, just with how nasty that all is. A freezing shiver hit and I forgot about it all. The shiver made me lose control of my body, and I couldn't sit any longer. I fell back and shook, taking gasping breaths. I tried hard to focus on something, anything, but I couldn't. The shivers were to strong. So I closed my eyes and let it take its course, no matter how frightened I became that it would never stop.

Eventually it did. It happened slowly, the shivers still happening, but in slower intervals and not as intense. Until they went away for the time being. I felt to weak to sit up again, so I laid there and breathed. I felt my heart beat against my chest and the air fill my lungs. I concentrated on the blood pumping in my veins and the feeling of being alive. It all felt so good. I've never noticed it before.

Being alive feels _good_.

But my concentration was interrupted when the door opened and the sound of clicking heels made me open my eyes once more.

Tsunade smile down at me, her blond hair still in its two ponytails on the side of her face. "Welcome back, Kira."

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**Review please! Chapter seven will be out within the week!**


	8. Changes

**Well, I do believe it is only fair of me to post this for you guys, for I am leaving on a vacation early early Wednesday morning, and I will be gone a WHOLE week. So I will not be posting for a time after this chapter, sorry! But, here is Chapter 7, where Kira reunites with some of our favorite characters :) Enjoy!**

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Chapter 7, Changes.

Tsunade gave me a few injections into my arm with some liquids that made me feel more awake. Stronger. I was able to change out of my hospital gown and into a pair of sweatpants and a big shirt Jiraiya left for me. Tsunade made me eat a little bit of food, but I couldn't hold much. She made me drink a lot of water, but made sure to monitor everything I took in.

She stayed with me the whole day and part of the night. I remember falling asleep with her there, sitting in the chair Kiba had been in when I first woke up, reading a book. And when I woke up the next day, she was still there, reading that same book.

"Feeling better?" she asked. She set the book down and stood to take my vitals.

"Yes," I answered. It was the first question I had been able to answer since waking up that first time here. My voice is hoarse, but it works. All of that screaming I did tore it up. She made me eat some breakfast, wrote down what I ate, and sat next to my bed again.

She crossed her arms over her big chest as she leaned back in the chair. "I talked with both Kiba and Jiraiya, and they both mentioned your condition." Her voice was clear and firm. "And I do not think it will be possible."

My anger flared, but she quickly went on.

"The second you entered this world again, I felt it. Everyone did. I've already had to calm Naruto and Sakura down twice. They both want to know what is going on. They don't know you are back, but they know something has happened. Others are restless as well." She paused for a second before continuing. "The Kazekage must have some suspicion. You have no idea how hard it is to keep this information from him, Kira."

My heart skipped a few beats. "What do you mean?" I asked quietly. "He is so far away... It should be easy!"

Tsunade's face remained neutral. "Jiraiya never explained, did he?" she asked quietly.

"What do you mean?"

Her eyes closed and she pinched the bridge of her nose, thoroughly agitated. "Since the war started, we have become very close. Suna was attacked last year and completely destroyed. There was nothing anyone could have done to save it. Nothing. Since then, Suna and Konoha have merged, everyone in Suna now living here, in Konoha."

My blood turned to ice and a shiver wracked my body. "How...? How is that possible?" Why Suna? Suna had the strongest defense I had ever seen! And Gaara could have destroyed anyone who set foot on his dessert without any sort of problems. How could they have lost!

Tsunade gave a small shrug, merely just a lift of a shoulder. "They were attacked by to big of a force. And the Kazekage had been... distracted at the time."

My mind was set. "I want to see him. Now."

Tsunade's eyes snapped up and met mine head on. "Kira, that would not be a good idea. He has... changed. He isn't the same man you knew ten years ago."

I shook my head. "I don't care. I want to see him. Let me see Gaara!" His name sent shivers through my body, but this time I welcome them.

Tsunade stood, her eyes locked on my face. "You will wait. I will not allow you to see anyone until you are strong enough to defend yourself. Got it?" She didn't wait for my answer. She walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

I felt like screaming. I grabbed the glass that she left on the small table and I threw it as hard as I could at the door. It shattered and rained on the floor, creating a beautiful chime sound. Nurses rushed in and grabbed hold of me, stabbing a needle into my arm and keeping me restrained until it took effect, knocking me out.

– –

I came to in a different room. I felt much more rational, and stronger. I stood on my own and walked on my own. The door was locked, of course. And there was nothing other than a bed and chair and a small table with a glass of water on it in the room. I gulped the water and roughly set the, now plastic, glass back down on the table.

The next day I woke up even stronger. Tsunade came back and checked my muscle tone, making sure my body was regaining everything perfectly normal. She made me take pills, helping to get my strength back quicker. I took everything she gave me, asked for seconds on food, and drank enough water to have to pee every hour. She was impressed, nodding with approval every time she came to see me.

It wont be long now, I told myself. I will be able to see Gaara in a few days.

It was the fourth day of being in that room that I felt the earth shake. Not an earthquake, but an explosion. Tsunade rushed in with a change of clothes for me. I dressed in record time and swallowed the pills with a gulp of water. Then I was following her out of the room, for the first time, and down the hall. She gave me a mask to put on. An ANBU mask, but blank. No signature marking to make it my own. Then she did something to me, and I felt my chakra being masked.

We left her privet apartments, where I guess I have been, and entered the rest of the Hokage tower. She spoke quickly and firmly to me.

"You will not say a word." The earth shook again and I reached out to the wall for support. "You will stand by me and not move. You will not speak. If it is to much, you will leave the room. Understood?" I nodded dumbly, trying to figure out what is going on. "No matter who is in that room," she said, stopping and getting in my face. "You will not say anything."

I gave her a mock salute to show I wouldn't say anything.

Then we entered her office. She walked over to her desk and sat down beside it, motioning for me to stand beside her. I did so. And almost immediately there was bangs at the door and people started entering.

I noticed every single one of them with a shock. Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, Hinata, Shino, Kiba. Kuranai, Tenten, Neji, Lee. Then the last three, which had my heart in my throat. Temari. Kankuro. And Gaara. Everyone looks differently than I remember. Older. Wiser. Stronger. Tsunade's words left my head and I opened my mouth to say something, to tell them everything is okay, that I'm back, but my tongue laid on the bottom of my mouth. Motionless. I couldn't even swallow.

Tsunade, that clever little crap head! I thought harshly.

But then he was speaking. "It is Kiri this time, Hokage." His voice is deeper. His hair longer, the rims around his eyes darker. He is thicker, his body looks big. Instead of the leanness I remembered, he has these bulking muscles. I felt my eyes grow wide. "The men are already on it."

"Good," Tsunade nodded. "Naruto, status."

Naruto is different, too. His muscles are thicker, too. His hair is much longer, framing his face and falling over his headband to a point where you can't see the symbol. He is taller, also. And fairly cute, I noted in the back of my mind. "From what I was able to tell, they have not attacked the walls yet," he said. His arms crossed over his chest, and his sleeveless shirt made his muscles look bigger. "But they are close."

"Sakura?" Tsunade put her chin on her fingers as she stared at the pink haired girl.

Sakura's hair is longer, too. Almost as long as it had been in that picture I saw of her as a kid. The one with her old team, the one with Naruto, Kakashi, and Sasuke. Her chest has grown, a lot. It is hard not to notice. Her hips are more round, too. If anything it makes her look tougher. More dangerous. "I have already sent the medics out, Tsunade-sama. I do not know the injury counts at this moment, though I do not expect them to be high whereas they have not attacked our walls yet."

Tsunade nodded, seeming satisfied.

I could not help but notice the looks I kept getting. Being in complete ANBU attire, with a blank mask, everyone is probably wondering who I am. Naruto's eyes glanced me up and down, and his brown furrowed. "Who is this?" he asked. And I had once thought him stupid and childish. He is anything but that now. He has matured greatly in the ten years I have been gone, I can already tell.

"Never mind that," Tsunade said briefly. "I need you all to get out there. Sakura, keep in touch. I want to know immediately."

"Hai!" Everyone started filing out, all but Gaara and Naruto. Sakura glanced over her shoulder at me before she left and closed the door behind her.

Gaara went over to the other desk in the room and had a seat, swiveling his chair so he was facing the window. Smoke rose in the distance.

"What is it, Naruto," Tsunade's voice sounded tired. I wouldn't doubt it if she was, I've been a handful.

His eyes were still fixed on me. "I think you know."

She sighed loudly and pulled a bottle from the drawer in her desk. I couldn't help but smile. Old habits never die. "No. No, and no."

His eyes left me and went to her. "Can she fight?" he asked, nodding towards me.

I felt Tsunade's gaze, though her face wasn't towards me. I glanced down at her. "I suppose so... Though she has been out of practice for a little while. I doubt she would be much help in battle."

He nodded. "I will be giving updates." And he was gone. I stared at that spot for a whole minute before I looked down at Tsunade.

"He is his father's son," she muttered. "A good for nothing flash."

I smirked. I wish I could talk. I wish I could walk over to Gaara and run my fingers in his hair. I can still feel the softness of it that I remember so well. I can still smell the sent that is always his, no one else. My heart rate started to quicken, and I felt my feet starting to move on their own. But Tsunade's hand lashed out and grabbed my wrist, pulling me back and down towards her face.

"You will stay right here, girly." Her smirk was mocking. "I don't want you to get hurt."

I glared at her from behind my mask.

The sound of Gaara's chair swiveling had my eyes glancing his way. He was staring at us, now. His face blank, his eyes blank. But his eyes roaming. They moved over my body like hot coals burning my skin. It made me shiver. Then his eyes focused on my mask, almost like he was trying to see through it.

There was a slight knock at the door and then it was thrown open without being asked to come in. Two little kids, maybe ten years of age, ran over to him yelling and screaming at each other. My heart almost stopped. The girl climbed up into Gaara's lap, clinging to his neck and she kicked at the little boy. The little boy struggled to climb into his lap, yelling at the little girl to stop kicking.

My legs buckled and I fell to the floor, leaning back against Tsunade's desk as I stared at them.

Gaara pulled the girl from his neck and set her down on the floor next to the boy. "Both of you, stop." The two instantly stopped their yelling and looked up at him with big brown eyes. "What are you fighting about now?" Gaara asked, sitting back in his chair.

The boy's face scrunched up. "Jessica put another dead skunk under my blankets, Dad!" he complained. "I was going to get dressed to go and help the others, but I couldn't! All of my stuff smells like skunk!"

Jessica was trying to keep her face blank, but the smile was showing through. "Did not! Daddy, Yukio is lying!" She stuck her tongue out at her brother and crossed her arms over her chest.

Gaara held up his hand and both of them fell silent again. "Jessica, you will clean his room. You will wash all of his cloths, by yourself, and shampoo his rugs. Yukio, you are not going anywhere. You will both go right over to that couch and sit there, where I can keep an eye on you."

Both of them grumbled as the walked over to the couch and flopped down on it, Jessica upside down.

I stared at them, my mouth hanging open slightly. Jessica is beautiful. Her brown hair is tinted with red, giving her highlights that accent her pale features. I can see a lot of Temari in her, but there is also a lot of me. There is so much me in my baby girl. So much. And Yukio, my baby boy. He is no doubt his fathers child, with his flaming red hair and pale skin. But he is all me. All his uncle Kaleb. The cheek bones, the set of the nose, the chin, it is almost an exact replica of Kaleb. I could feel the hot tears run down my cheeks. Those are my babies.

My babies!

Tsunade's hand rested on my shoulder. "Are you light headed?" she asked softly. I nodded, not knowing what else to do. "Just sit there for a little while, it will go away." I nodded again.

Yukio was watching me. I could feel his gaze on me even as I stared at his sister. I looked at him and met his gaze. His brow was furrowed, and he looked like he was concentrating hard on something. He looked over at Gaara, but his eyes made their way back to me. After a few minutes of staring, he nudged his sister and whispered something to her. Now they both stared openly, both of them frowning.

I stood and wobbly walked out of the room, and shut the door behind me.

I can't take it. I can't take it at all. They are my babies. _My_ babies, and they don't even know who I am! I choked on the tears and tried to swallow, but couldn't. Has Gaara ever told them about me? Do they remember anything of the time they were in my womb? I steadied myself against the wall and gritted my teeth together. I can't do it. I can't watch them. I can't. I can't sit there and watch them across the room without saying anything to them.

"Who are you?" A little voice asked behind me.

I jumped and glanced over my shoulder. Yukio stood there with his hands behind his back, looking at me with a tilted head. My heart rate picked up again. I knelt in front of him and reached out to touch him, touch his hair, but I quickly drew my hand back. He doesn't know who I am.

Yukio's eyes bore into my own. "Do I know you?" he asked.

I shook my head. No, you do not. I have been gone for ten years. You would have been to small to remember me.

His lips pursed. "Are you sure? Because... I feel like I know you..." His hand lifted and reached out to touch my mask.

"Yukio," Tsunade's harsh voice reached both of us. He spun around. "Your father is looking for you."

Yukio glanced back at me for a split second before he rushed off, re-entering the office. I grabbed at the front of my shirt, where my heart beats painfully. Like it was trying to run after him.

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**Again, I will be leaving so I will not be posting for a little over a week. But I hope you LOVED this chapter enough for you to wait a little bit for the next chapter :) Review please? AND let's hope for good weather Where I am going :D**


	9. Children

**Yes, yes, I know it has been way to long since I updated! But, Hm, I got back from my wonderful vacation to, one, SNOW FALLING, and two, not being able to update anything? What was up with that? I was kind of worried for a while there, and getting a little bored, too... But, well, here is chapter 8! ENJOY!**

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Chapter 8, Children.

Tsunade gave me a physical exam. She had me practice, she she could see what I was capable of, with Jiraiya and Kiba, fighting to hurt. Not kill. She was impressed. But I still have not used my powers yet, she recommends against it for now, if I really do want to keep myself hidden. But I don't. Not now. Not after I saw him. After I saw them. I don't want to be invisible. It was a stupid idea.

Completely.

I lay awake at night, staring at the big moon outside the window, still wearing my mask. Tsunade's orders. Konoha has always been beautiful. But I think it is more so now. Maybe it is just because it has been so long since I have seen it. Since I have really been in the middle of a forest. The smells of the trees, the flowers, I've missed it all. Well, maybe not the biting cold of the snow. But the winter flowers smell wonderful.

I moved away from the window and shut it, drawing the curtains closed. I've been here almost two weeks now, and I still haven't been able to leave the building. The attacks are horrible, and all I can do is stand there with Tsunade as I watch people I could have saved die.

Tsunade has bigger plans for me.

I will not use my powers until the moment is right. That is when I will let my presence known to the world. Right now the joined forces called the Nations, the good guys, are planning to confront what Tsunade has nicknamed, the Mob. I think the name is a little funny, too. But until that battle, I am not allowed to use any of my powers. None. But I can fight.

And that is where I am heading to now.

The morning sun is bright, reflecting off the snow and blinding me for a few seconds, though my mask helps to dull it little. Tsunade is having me meet Jiraiya, and someone else she refuses to tell me about, in the old team seven training ground. One of the last still perfectly standing. As I made my way towards it, knowing exactly where I was going, I felt stares. I am the girl without identification. The one people stared at as I passed, the one they whispered about, wondering who I could be. Some say I am from the Mob, turning traitor to help the Nations.

If only they knew, I thought. They would be so dumbfounded they wouldn't believe I have come back to life. So I walked with my chin up, my back straight, and ignoring the pain in my hip. Tsunade said she would look into it after my session. And, thankfully, Tsunade gave me a little spending money. I grabbed a dumpling and ate it once I was out of sight of most of the people. I lifted my mask just to show my mouth and ate it quickly. And it tasted _good_. I wanted another one, but I was already there.

And there was Jiraiya, and to my amazement, Naruto and Sakura as well.

"There you are!" Jiraiya called, waving his hand over his head.

I couldn't help the smile that formed, but, of course, none of them could see it. Naruto and Sakura stopped their conversation to watch me walk down to them, probably assessing me already. I gave them a curt bow. It felt right to do so. Naruto's grin stretched from ear to ear, one like I've always remembered him having. Sakura nodded her head towards me, a smile of approval on her face. They have changed so, so much. But, yet, they are exactly the same.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto said, linking his hands behind his long hair. I smiled. I know this, dummy! Jiraiya smiled a privet smile, probably knowing what I was thinking. "And this is Haruno Sakura. You have probably heard of us."

I shook my head, no I have not. Just to see what he would do.

Naruto's face fell. Sakura's eyes widened. He cleared his throat. "Well... I'm the Kynuubi. The nine tailed demon. And, I have already been named the next Hokage!" His smile was brighter than the sun.

Next Hokage! That is great! If I wasn't keeping myself secret, I would have jumped at him and hugged him tighter that I ever have. He has reached his dream. And that is amazing. I am so proud of him. Sakura tossed her long bangs to the side of her face, a gentle smile on her face.

"And I am Haruno Sakura, Tsunade-sama's successor in medicine. I've already been named the top medic ninja in the world. And I am also engaged to the famous copy ninja, Hatake Kakashi."

I felt my eyes bulge and my jaw drop. Jiraiya put his face in his hands. What! I wanted to scream at her. No! No, no, no, no! You _cannot_ marry Kakashi! That is your own teacher! I screamed a bunch on things in my head, but all I did physically was give them both another bow. Though I know it seemed stiff.

Naruto seemed pleased. "Now that you know who we are... any chance you'll tell us who you are?"

I shook my head. No.

He let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine."

Jiraiya took this moment to step in, before they could say anything else that would have me screaming at them. "We will call her Doe, for now." His hand shot up at me, stopping me before I could speak. "Tsunade's orders, you deal with her about it. For now, we will begin. Hand to hand combat, only!" he barked. Naruto groaned and stopped the use of his Rasengan.

Sakura smiled at me a little devilishly. "Let us begin!" Her foot turned, the heel of her boot digging into the earth.

All of a sudden a large split in the earth appeared under me. I flipped out of the way and took off at a fast sprint. I can't use the wind to propel myself faster, so I am just as slow as a regular human would be. And they caught up quickly. All of a sudden Naruto was in my face and I was blocking his blows on pure instinct. He is so fast! I have absolutely no memory of anyone being this fast. And I know he is going easy on me!

Sakura was there, then, trying to sweep my feet out from under me. I placed a hand on her shoulder and flipped over her, swinging my foot out at her head when I had landed. But her hand grabbed my ankle and I was being thrown.

I hit that tree _hard_.

An explosion of pain burst through my whole body. I clutched at my sides, trying to get air in my lungs. It's becoming an almost daily routine to have to fill my lungs with air like this. And it is getting old. Sakura knelt by me with a concerned face, her hand already glowing green. But I faked, not really, but let her think that. I grabbed her head, shoved it towards the ground as I jumped over her, and held my flat hand to her throat.

She sighed. "I'm out!" She called it loud enough for Naruto to hear her. "Good job, Doe," she said to me. I gave her a salute before running off to the direction I felt Naruto's chakra coming from.

But then he was behind me. I gasped as I was pulled backwards, then quickly rolled, moving out of the way of his attack. His hand was buried at least to his elbow in the ground when I glanced back at him. I took this chance for my own attack, aiming for his head. But Jiraiya caught my hand before I could hit him.

"Good," he said. "Now, weapons only." And he disappeared. My hand went automatically to the pouch at my hip.

But I grabbed only air.

Naruto went for my throat with a kunai, forcing me to jump backwards. I sprinted off, cursing Jiraiya for not giving me a weapon. Is this another test? Being able to avoid, not block or attack? Just avoid. I can do that... I hope.

Sakura was back in the game. And this time Kiba showed as well. All three of them attacked me mercilessly with kunai, swords, and, in Sakura's case, a gigantic ax she pulled out of nowhere. I avoided and avoided, but my arms still came out scraped. A long, but shallow, gash appeared on my leg from Naruto's blade, though I could have sworn there was at least two inches between my leg and his blade. But I kept doing flips, ducking, jumping, spinning, twirling, rolling, falling, and tripping away from their blades.

Jiraiya called the session to a stop when all of them had me on the ground with their blades pointed at my face. I heaved for air, sweat trickling off my chin from under the mask. I refused Naruto's hand to help me up. I just fell backwards and laid on the ground, staring up at the blue sky. When my breath finally returned, I stood and walked over to where the four of them were chatting. All eyes turned to me and I waved my hand a little, trying to wordlessly tell them I'm okay. Kiba's eyes held amusement.

Jiraiya put a gentle arm on my shoulder and looked me directly in the eye. "You did great, Doe. These guys are very strong, and to get them in hand to hand combat like you did..." he shook his head in disbelief. "You did great."

I smiled at him, touched.

"But you still suck."

My smile fell and I glared at him, my hands itching to wrap around his throat and choke the life out of him. Kiba burst out laughing and so did Naruto. Sakura just crossed her arms and glared at Jiraiya along with me.

Then her hand was on my arm, and she was pulling me away from them. "Come on, I'll buy you something to eat."

I went along with her, glancing back to stick my tongue out at Jiraiya. Though he couldn't see it, I'm very well aware he knew exactly what I did.

Sakura brought me to the Hokage tower, first. We entered the office without a knock, but Tsunade didn't seem to mind. I could feel Gaara's boiling irritation from across the room. I couldn't help but glanced at him a few times, knowing he is so close. The children are gone, and he is completely focused on the paper in front of him. Or that is how it looks anyway. But I've always been able to read him. His irritation at Sakura is strong. What has happened between them? Last I remember they were always fine together. Though, she has changed. And maybe he has, too. Maybe he doesn't like her engagement just as much as me.

"Tsunade-sama," Sakura gave her a bow. "That mask isn't going to work."

My attention went right back to her, wondering what she was going on about.

"She can't breathe well, and she surely can't eat. And that thing covering her hair isn't going to work, either." She crossed her arms. I felt my head, and, sure enough, hair was starting to stick out the seams. Not to mention the rip created by Kiba tackling me into some bushes. "She is going to need something done about that."

Tsunade gave a heavy sigh. "I swear, Sakura, you will be the death of me." She pulled something out of her desk, my mind automatically thought it was more sake, but then she handed Sakura a small purse. "Don't spend it all... I won't have more until next week."

Sakura's face lit up with her smile, looking similar to the girl who I had known ten years ago. "Hai!"

I believe I received a small case of whiplash from how fast she dragged me out of the office.

– –

"Almost done?" Sakura called.

I stuck my hand out with a thumbs up, then held up two fingers. I pulled the curtain shut. When I looked back at myself in the mirror I couldn't believe how... _sexy_ I looked!

Sakura had picked out a mask that covers three quarters of my face, leaving a small arch open around my mouth and chin. I had been given acrylic paint to make it my own. I chose a purple blue color that had sparkles (how could I not!) and painted around the eyes, like eyeshadow and eye liner. And the best part? It only covers my face. Which means I can leave my hair down. It fell in short curls, having been held flat against my head for so long with sweat. It feels weird, my hair being short again. I just hope it wont be hard to handle. I still had on the ANBU outfit, but changed the baggy pants for tight fitting black leggings and the sandals with high heeled white boots.

And I received a weapon pouch, finally, that I had fastened to my waist.

I smiled at my self in the mirror, and added a layer of bright red lipstick to my lips. There. Perfect! I did a little pose and barely caught myself before I laughed at how ridiculous I am being. It's like I'm seventeen all over again. I yanked open the curtain and gave Sakura a curtsy, smiling wildly.

"You look great!" she laughed. "And I love the paint." She pointed to her own eyes, giving me a smile. "Now, I'm starved! Let's go eat."

We went to this nice little place that had tea. I passed the tea and got water instead. No way I'm going to try that stuff again. I wished they had some wine, but it wouldn't look good in front of Sakura, would it? We ordered some meat and let it cook as she talked, starting with our situation within the city walls.

"When Suna's people first arrived we didn't know how to house everyone. We had many people living in the streets. But then Kazekage-sama built houses, apartment complexes in some of the old training grounds, giving everyone places to live. The leadership is still the same. Suna people obey their Kazekage, and Konoha people their Hokage. But Tsunade-sama and Kazekage-sama are making decisions together now." She stirred her tea and took a sip. "Everyone gets along well enough, though."

I took a pen and wrote on a notebook we had also gotten. It's easier if I write everything down. There is no confusion. I wrote: _What of the others?_ She looked at me a little confused, so I wrote: _Konoha 9 _on the note book.

Sakura shrugged. "They are around. Why?"

I wrote: _Just wondering. I heard you all were like a tight knit family. _

"We were." She nodded. "But as we got older, and especially after we all lost a close friend, everyone started going their own ways. It was really hard, splitting up like we did. I rarely see half of the friends I was super close to when I was younger. It seems I only see Naruto on a regular biases, and Hinata. They are together, you know. They got married six years ago."

I felt my eyes widen. Married! Well, I shouldn't be all that surprised. I wrote: _Wow!_

She nodded. "And it is all because Naruto knocked her up. Triplets, can you believe it? There are three little Naruto's running around! Well, actually four. They had another kid two years ago."

The pen fell from my fingers. And I thought me having twins was something huge! But Triplets? They beat me any day! That must have been a lot of stress on poor little Hinata. How did she cope with raising all of those kids with her shy gentle nature? Naruto must have done a lot of disciplining. I hope none of them inherited his activeness. Poor Hinata.

And that is what I wrote: _Poor Hinata!_

Sakura laughed loudly. "I agree! It has been hard on her, but shes adjusted well." Sakura took the first bite of meat and continued talking. "She is a great mother. I only hope I'm as good as her when I have children."

_With Kakashi? Are you... sure?_ I had wanted to write "are you crazy!" but I felt that would be a little rude.

Sakura smiled knowingly. "He looks old, yes. And he is a jerk, yes." She giggled at that last part. "But I love him. He is a great guy. He really is."

_Why him? You could have anyone!_

Her eyes rolled, but her cheeks turned the slightest bit pink. "Because he loves me for me, and he has never tried to change who I am. Throughout my whole childhood he was always there, encouraging me to do my best and to not listen to the taunts of the others. And when my friend died, he was the only one who was there for me. Everyone was so deep in their own grief I felt alone. But there he was, grieving on his own, but still there for me. He helped me get through it. And I guess that is when I realized I was in love with him."

I nodded. But a sadness swept over me. I had hoped, in the back of my mind, that no one would be greatly effected by my "death." But I guess now that was a failed hope. I didn't know what else to write, so I stuffed some food into my mouth and concentrated on eating.

When I finally formed a question in my head, I wrote: _How did the war start?_

Sakura chewed over this question for a little while, sipping her tea and nibbling the food. "Years ago, maybe twelve or thirteen years ago, Iwa attacked Suna." I remember that, but I said nothing. I simply nodded, showing I knew what she was talking about. "Iwa had been motivated by Oto, who are still the biggest buddies ever. That attack is what really started all of the tension between the nations. And since then others have been testing the boundaries, seeing how they would react. It came to the point where villages were being slaughtered. Way to much innocent blood was spilled." She paused as she chewed some more food, her eyes far away. "It came to the point where we could no longer sit back and watch. We made alliances and we fought back. They didn't like it all that much and thus the war began."

I nodded, understanding. That battle in Suna had been horrendous. I remember it perfectly clear. All of a sudden my knees began to throb as I relived a couple of moments of that battle. I rubbed them with my palms and stared at Sakura. The maturity is clear in her face. I've always thought of her as a very mature, responsible, and kind person. But seeing her now, after ten years apart, I can tell there has been a huge change in her life. She is older in so many ways. She no longer has any innocents to her. But I still believe the old Sakura is there, just changed by the environment around her.

Sakura finished her tea and paid the tab.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked as we left.

I shrugged. Anywhere would be good. I want to see the rest of the village, see how much it has changed. And I wouldn't mind seeing the others.

Sakura's face lit up with a bright smile. "I know! We can go see Hinata! She should be home from her Father's, and Naruto should be along shortly. You can meet the children!" I nodded, it sounds good. I wanted to see her.

We walked through the town to a nice street with decent buildings. I already knew exactly which house belonged to Naruto, because him and a little boy with dark hair were wrestling on the front lawn. Oh, and did I mention it happened to be the only house that isn't a white color? Nope. It is a orange color. I couldn't help my grin. I wonder how he got Hinata to let him paint it that color.

A little girl ran off the steps screaming loudly as she came barreling towards us. Sakura scooped her up in the air, laughing, and settled the little girl on her hip. "How are you this morning, Aiko?" The girl grinned, just as big as Naruto does, and patted Sakura's cheeks.

"Daddy and Kisho are fighting again," she drug out the last word, rubbing her nose with Sakura's, "Auntie Sakura!"

Sakura giggled. "I can see that. Who do you bet will win?" she asked in a whisper. I smiled at them, she is so cute!

Aiko put a finger to her chin and her tongue stuck out a little as she thought. "Daddy! Daddy always wins!" Sakura put her down when she started wiggling and watched as she ran back up the steps and cheered from there.

"Cute, isn't she?" Sakura asked.

I nodded. And so much like her father.

"Come on, come meet the rest of the gang. Aiko is the youngest. Kisho is the oldest out of the triplets." Sakura started back towards the house and up the steps, patting Aiko's head as she walked past. The little girl looked up at me with a grin when I passed her, and she put a finger to her lips in a "shush!" manner. I smiled and winked at her, nodding my head.

I glanced back at Aiko, amazed with how young she is, and how active. Do babies really run around and speak like that so young? I don't think they do. What a talented little girl, I thought. She is going to surpass her Father, no doubt. I followed Sakura into the living room, where Hinata sat on the floor with the other two, a boy and girl. Hinata glanced up and gave us a warm smile, inviting us to sit down with her.

"I'm just helping them with their homework," she said.

It was a little bit of a shock to me. Hinata's shyness sounds like it is completely gone. I never noticed how shy she used to be. But, now, I can tell the difference. She is a heck of a lot more confident, I can tell just from her voice.

"Who is this?" she asked, smiling warmly at me.

Sakura sat next to Hinata and fixed her skirt. "We call her Doe. She doesn't speak. Well, I think she _can_ but is under orders from Tsunade to keep her lips zipped. Right?" When Sakura's bright emerald eyes moved to me I had to think a second before I could nod. I was complete caught off guard when she asked that. "She wont say why though," she laughed at her own joke.

I shook my head, not believing she just said that. Lame! But my amusement could clearly be seen on my face.

Hinata introduced her children. "This is my son Zinan, and my daughter Kyoko."

I studied the two, measuring them up to Hinata and Naruto. They both definitely have Naruto in them. With the shaping of their faces, mostly. Though Zinan looks a lot like his dad, he has his mothers eyes. Kyoko, on the other hand, is a mini Hinata. Her blue-purple hair, her lavender eyes, her pale skin. Only the shaping of her chin and jaw are Naruto. And maybe the slope of her forehead. She will be a very beautiful girl when she is older. I can already see her brothers being very protective of her, with all the guys that will be chasing her around.

The door banged shut and Naruto came in, a screeching Aiko running around his legs, and a angry Kisho over his shoulder. Naruto's nose dripped blood, and a long slash on his arm was also bleeding. My palms itched to heal them, but I knew I couldn't. His eyes landed on me, and his anger seemed to fade.

"I see Sakura got you some new clothes," and his grin was back.

I smiled and nodded, self-consciously pushing my hair behind my ear.

Hinata stood and took her eldest son from her husbands arms and cradled him to her chest. "What is wrong, Kisho?" Her voice tender, and the slight rock seemed to calm him down.

"Dad cheated!" he muttered. "You're not supposed to cheat."

Naruto painfully rubbed his nose. "And you aren't supposed to break my nose, little boy." Naruto ruffled his dark hair and sat down on the couch as Sakura moved to heal him.

Hinata looked down at Kisho with a scowl. "You know better than to do that, Kisho!" She set him down and put her hands on her hips, looking just like a real mother would. "Now, why don't all of you go upstairs? Your father and I would like a few moments of peace with our friends."

All of the children ran for the stairs at once, pushing and shoving their way up. Aiko jumped at Kisho's back and rode all the way up, laughing. I can see them always being really close. I can't imagine them ever fighting. I smiled and followed the others into the kitchen. Sakura healed Naruto's nose right up and gave it a test flick.

"OW!" Naruto whined. "Why'd you have to do that?" He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sakura just shrugged with a smile. "I can't believe you left yourself open enough for him to do that much damage. How did he manage it?"

Naruto's pout turned into depression. He looked away, and I swear I saw a slight blush on his face. He muttered, glanced, and realized we couldn't hear, so he said it a little louder. But when we still couldn't hear Sakura reached over and pulled hard on his ear. "Ow! Okay, okay! It was because he said Hinata had come outside in her towel." Sakura burst out laughing while Hinata, the one I knew and loved, turned a bright shade of pink. I wonder if she is only strong when it comes to her children. It would makes sense.

"And you believed him?" Sakura covered her mouth, trying to contain her laughter, but failed. Naruto looked away, his lower lip sticking out slightly. "Who knew a six year old could take down his father with such a comment!"

I smirked, knowing had the boy been Naruto, he would have done the same thing. Like father like son. What a handful Hinata is going to have with two boys. And Aiko? A mini Naruto. She is going to be a handful all on her own. I watched as they discussed a few different topics, always going back to Hinata and Naruto's children in some manner. Would it be this easy for me to talk about my own children if I had never awoken in my own world? Would things be different if I let my identity be known at this very moment? I was so close to doing so. But something stopped me.

A presence. A shift in the air current alerted me to it.

I was up in a flash, my kunai already to the throat of the intruder.

But what I found under the sharp blade astonished me. Gaara's finger pushed the cold metal away from his throat, his eyes on mine. "Good, but I am not an intruder," he said, his voice flat. I quickly stepped back, feeling the heat rush to my face. I can't believe I was so close, _inches away_, from him... and he still didn't notice who I am.

A bolt of pain flickered in my chest, but I pushed it away.

It is good he didn't notice, I told myself.

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**So. You have met Naruto's family. What do you think? I love the idea of little Aiko! I can't wait to bring her and her siblings more into this story :D Review?**


	10. Feeling

**Well, this one is out fast, I know! Enjoy!**

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Chapter 9, Feeling.

It was odd, sitting here on the couch inches away from him, but not being able to talk to him or even look at him. I'm afraid he will notice, and I will be in trouble with Tsunade-sama. It's hard to believe I can still breathe with how high my heart is in my throat. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone else in the room could hear it beating rapidly.

Naruto slouched on the love seat across from me, his arm hanging lightly over Hinata's shoulder. His face was that of concentration, his eyes down on his black boots. Hinata's eyes were closed as she tried to contain Aiko's struggles to be let go. When her eyes opened, I wasn't shocked to see the tears.

"Must this happen?" she asked, her whisper soft and full of dread. "Isn't there something else that we can do?"

Gaara shook his head. "Hokage-sama and I have discussed it all many times over. There is nothing else."

Naruto nodded slowly, pushing himself up. "Then we must do what we must. The killing has to stop. I do not want any more innocent blood spilled."

Hinata's eyes snapped to her husband, and I swear I could see a flame in them. "By spilling the blood of thousands of others, Naruto!" She finally let go of Aiko, who wiggled her way into her father's lap, looking at her mother with wide eyes and a frown. "That is not right! It should be able to be done without any more blood at all. Diplomacy, if tried, will work!"

I shook my head, grabbed my notepad and scribbled quickly. I held it up to her and she read it out loud. "Diplomacy would have already been tried to be accomplished. There is no way, after things have gone so far, that it will ever go back." She paused and thought over my words. "But can't we at least try?"

Naruto shook his head again. "She's right, Hinata. There is no going back." He cleared his throat and set his daughter on the floor. "Go play with your brothers, Aiko. This is an adult discussion." Aiko pouted, but when Naruto's eyes narrowed, she grinned and ran off screaming happily. When she was gone Naruto's eyes turned to me. "There is something I think you should see, Doe. Sakura mentioned it earlier. We think you need to see what they are capable of."

I nodded, dread pooling into the pit of my stomach.

– –

I cupped my hands over my mouth and blew on them, trying to regain some of the warmth the cool winter night stole from them. I watched the stars twinkle above me, above Konoha, above the world. Above everything that I had once known, but is so alien to me now. Kaleb was right, I should never have come back. It isn't right for me to be here. It is wrong. I can't take it, I'm not strong enough. My muscle tone may be getting stronger with each passing day, but my mental and emotional health is deteriorating with every second that ticks by.

How can I stand to see Yukio's big brown eyes staring up at me one more time? How can I stand to hear Jessica's sweet voice as she complains to Gaara? I can't. That's just it. I can't handle it. I can't stand it. I want so badly to hold them, to hug them tightly. Requesting that no one knows of my existence was a stupid thing. I never knew it would be this hard to stay away from them. But how could I have known? It isn't like Jiraiya or Kiba ever had kids. They couldn't have told me what a bond is like between a parent and child.

Maybe, in the back of my mind, I had been hoping they would have known it was me all along, even though my face was covered. Has it really been that long? Long enough for Gaara to completely forget everything about me? He should have guessed by my hair. By my chin set, by the color of my skin. When I reentered this world my body was converted back to what it was when I died. I don't look any older, my hair is still short from when I had to scrape it off because of the plague. My nails are broken down to where they bleed. I still have all of my scars. What about my eyes? He has looked into them time after time since I've arrived. And not once has he even guessed who I am.

Not once.

I sighed deeply and scratched my eyes. A fleck of paint chipped off and glittered on my finger tip. I am so stupid. So completely, utterly, unimaginably, stupid. What have I done? I thought.

What have I done? I've left my family behind for a world of fighting. For a world of emotional suffering. I scratched at the paint around my eyes again until my fingers bled from under my nails. Then I just stared at the redness leaking out. Such an idiot I am. I can't believe myself. I had everything back home. I had money. I had my family. I had a place to live. And I had friends. I had everything. Everything a girl could ever want was within my grasp. But I through it all away. And for what?

Pain.

I through it all away for pain. Pain and suffering.

And I don't even get to see my babies faces without feeling only pain. How can I be happy in this world? I came here to be a tool. I have no reason to be happy. I'm only going to die, I know that. So it isn't right for me to dwell over what could have been, what should have been. I will never revile myself because I don't want them to see me die again. I would rather put all of this pain and suffering on my own shoulders than have anyone else feel the happiness of my return and the double pain of my death. That would be to selfish of me to do.

I finally understand Tsunade-sama's reasoning. She gets this factor. She knows I will die. So why should we tell people who I am? Why build their hopes that I am here to stay? Because I am not. I plan on dying. I will die whenever Tsunade-sama tells me it is my time to die. But I will not go out with out a fight. The more people I can kill, the less there are to threaten my family, my loved ones. And yes, I do love them. So much. And that is why I am doing this. Because of my love for them.

Someone cleared their throat behind me, jumping me. I glanced over my should to see none other than the famous copy-ninja himself. Kakashi stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky with his one eye. He hasn't changed at all, from appearances anyway. He looks exactly like I remember him looking.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" he said.

I glanced back up at the clear sky and shrugged. Sakura has every right to be with him. If they are happy, why shouldn't they be together? Sure, he was her teacher. But she has long since graduated from under him. She probably has a high rank than he does. I wouldn't doubt it for a second. He must be very proud of his wife to be.

A chilly wind blew, stinging the tips of my fingers where were all cut up. I fisted my hands to keep the wind from hitting them, but it only made them hurt worse. The pain feels good in a way. It lets me know this isn't a dream. It lets me know I'm really not insane.

Kakashi stepped up to my side and looked at me. "When are you planning on telling everyone?" he asked. I glanced at him one more time, frowning. His red eye stared at me accusingly. "Don't pretend, I know who you are, Kira."

My heart skipped a beat. Is that another one of the new powers? Can Kakashi see through my mask? I shook my head, acting like I didn't know what he was talking about.

"I've already chatted with Hokage-sama." He slid his forehead protector back into place over his eye. "She told me everything. You can talk freely with me, Kira."

I looked away, looking down on the village below us. The wind blew again, chillier up here on the top of the Hokage tower than it would be down on the ground. "I don't plan on telling anybody," I told him. "Why make them go through the heartache when I die again? It's not right."

Kakashi sighed and leaned against the bars, looking down on the village as well. "You think that, but you don't know how much they have suffered, how much they still are suffering with your sudden passing. Some thought you may have gone back to your own world, but no one knew for sure."

I squeezed my hands, the pain running up my arms. "It's been ten years, Kakashi. I'm surprised they still remember who I was."

He chuckled. "You really have no idea how much of an impact you made on everyone's lives, do you?" I shrugged, not really wanting to answer. He chuckled again. "You changed each and everyone of them. You taught them things they never knew before. You showed them a different look on life. You showed them how to view things from others eyes. Kira, you made such a change in their lives that they could never forget you, no matter how hard they tried. And trust me, some did try."

I squeezed my hands tighter, wanting him to stop talking.

But he continued, oblivious to my agitation. "Naruto stopped talking about you all together, and if someone accidentally mentioned your name, he would go into denial. He was the less severe case. Temari, she went on a rampage. She refused to listen to anyone about anything that may have even hinted to your existence. It was years before she fully accepted that you were gone. But the worse case would have been the Kazekage."

I squeezed my hands harder and closed my eyes tightly. I could feel myself start to shake. Why wont he shut up! Can't he see that I don't want to hear this?

He went on. "Kazekage-sama slept around, had a different girl in his bed every night. But not one of them resembled anything of you. None had brown eyes, none had brown hair. None could defend themselves to save their lives. And all were looking for only power. He refused to go near the room you had in Suna, he tossed out the couch he had in his office, the one you died on. It was terrible for awhile."

"Why are you telling me this?" I hissed at him, shaking so bad I felt like I was going to fall over.

"Because you need to know," he answered. And he went on. "He started killing again. First it was anyone who pissed him off. No matter how small the problem, he would kill them. He turned into his old uncontrolled self. No one could stop him and many lived in fear of who he would go after next. But then the kids got to him, and he stopped much of the killing. Temari-sama and Kankuro-sama said he still went out some nights where he could no longer hold back and kill those who thought to harm others. Mostly men sentenced to death who sat in jail waiting for their time. No one said anything about that." Kakashi fell silent for a few minutes and I felt his eye on me. "You need to understand, Kira. Everyone who you met loved you. They all pray every night that you will return to us."

"Well I wont," I growled. "I won't, I won't, I won't."

He sighed. "We all knew when you reentered this world. Every single on of us. We all felt it. But we just didn't know what was going on. I figured it out the first day I saw you. You were walking down the street eating a dumpling, lifting your mask when you thought no one was looking. I knew then it was you."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I knew there would be a reason for you to be hiding it."

I opened my eyes and glared up at the crescent moon. Did Tsunade-sama tell him to tell me all of this? Because I really don't want to hear it. But I can't force myself to leave. I can't make myself tell him to stop talking again. Because I know I need to hear it all. "Why didn't you tell Sakura? She's going to be your wife, isn't she? You shouldn't keep secrets from her."

Kakashi nodded. "That is true. But we both understand there are going to be things that we cannot tell each other, no matter how much we want to. This happens to be one of them. Trust me, she knows my power and has already asked who you are. Most believe you are a traitor of the Mob and are telling us inside information."

I was right on that part. They think I'm some kind of traitor.

"Sakura has a different idea, though." He chuckled softly to himself. "She keeps trying to guess and judge my reaction to what she says to see if she is right. But she still hasn't come up with the fact that it is possible you have come back. Currently, she thinks that you are a man, posing as a woman, and is from Iwa to spy on us. She has such an imagination."

"A man, huh?" Somehow, I will have to fix that.

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**Review please and tell me what you think!**


	11. Broken

**Here is chapter 10, I hope all of you enjoy how quickly I am updating right now :)**

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Chapter 10, Broken.

Tsunade-sama agreed to let Naruto and Sakura take me for a little journey so I could see what the enemy is capable of. The three of us set out the next day, heading away from the walls as normal human speed, thanks to me. We dodge the craters left by the attack a few days ago, and jumped over fallen trees. It is amazing how much this forest has changed. It isn't even a forest anymore, really. Almost all of the trees are uprooted, burnt, or nonexistent.

We came to a spot in the forest that had some lumber fallen in a heap, it was obvious it had been burnt down. I slowed as we approached, stopping in a surprised silence when I realized what the structure had once been.

The cabin that was built for us when everyone was recovering from the plague.

Naruto looked at it sadly, but he said nothing. We continued on, stopping here and there for me to catch my breath. White clouds of mist billowed around my head as we ran, my body working overtime to try and keep up with them. Naruto offered to carry me, but I had declined, shaking my head. I don't want help, I want to get back into shape. We spent the night next to a familiar stream, though I couldn't place from when I remembered it.

And that was when I had my chance to prove to Sakura I am, in fact, a woman.

She said she was going to go wash up, and I moved to join her. I didn't miss the look she gave me. We walked together in silence and when we reached the stream she hesitated before she began to undress. "The water will be cold, make sure you breathe," she said.

I nodded as I started to remove my AMBU uniform. I left on my mask, but pulled my hair back and tied it. I slowly made my way into the stream, sucking in a sharp breath when I realized _just_ how cold the water was. Winter makes the water freezing! The only thing that is keeping this stream from freezing is the current, otherwise it would have been frozen solid. I can tell from the temperature. The only good thing about the ice cold water was the fact that it numbed my fingers, taking away the pain.

I refused Tsunade-sama's offer to heal them. Last night marked a huge decision of mine, and I need some way to mark it. My torn up fingertips is that mark.

"What is that on your waist?" Sakura asked, jumping me a little. She waded over to me and gently touched the symbol of Konoha on my hip. Her frown deepened when she traced the Suna symbol. "Where did you get these?"

I shrugged and covered my breasts with my arms, a little semiconscious of how my body looked. Sakura stood there with her hands on her hips, her chest bare for all to see, staring at me with a deep frown.

"You aren't a spy, are you?" The question wasn't accusing, it was knowing. She nodded to herself, getting the answer from my silence. "I didn't think you were, but I couldn't rule out the possibility all together." She was silent for a few seconds and I hurried to wash the grime from my body. I don't want to lose all of the feeling in my body. "What happened to your hands?" she asked.

I shrugged and rubbed my fingertips on my palms, washing away the dried blood. If it wasn't for the numbness I know I would be crying because of how much it would have hurt.

"Let me see," Sakura said. She reached and took my hand in hers. "It must hurt..."

A different kind of numbness grew in my hand, a prickle-tingly feeling. Not the kind of feeling I remember when Sakura healed me ten years ago. And her hand is glowing purple, not that light green that I remember. The tingly feeling spread up my wrist, up my arm, and around my shoulder and up my neck. My head swam with the tingly feeling, and I stumbled. But Sakura's firm grip on my hand kept the current from sweeping me away. It was then that I realized what was happening.

Images of today's adventure flashed across my eyes, last nights talk with Kakashi, the talk with Tsunade before that. Sakura is looking at my memories. Images of Naruto and his family. Little Aiko. I tried to pull away from Sakura, but her grip on my hand was so tight. No doubt if I pulled any harder her grip would tighten to the point of snapping some bones.

I did the only other thing I could think of doing.

My other hand pulled back and flew at her face, surprising her. The crack of her nose was disgusting, yet oddly satisfying. I quickly got out of the stream, pulled on my clothes over my wet body and walked away. I didn't glance back at her, but I knew she was trying to heal her broken nose.

I stormed into the camp and sat down next to the fire, my hair stuck on my neck and across my mask. I brushed at it angrily and huffed. How dare she. How _dare_ she! I grabbed a rock and through it as hard as I could into the trees. I grabbed another and was about to through it, too, but Naruto grabbed my fist and gently took the rock from my fingers.

"Settle down, Doe. There's no need to hurt innocent animals because of something that doesn't involve them." His sky blue eyes were stern with concern, and there was also a hint of curiosity in them. Sakura walked through the woods then, sitting down across the fire. "And, you, Sakura, have no right to do that. Don't look at me like that, I know what you did."

Sakura huffed and swiped her wet hair from her face. "How else am I supposed to figure out who she is?"

Naruto's look sent a shiver down my spine. I've never seen him like this, it is a little scary. "You aren't. If she wants to tell, she will. It is her decision, not yours."

My pride in the new Naruto grew. He really has grown up in the ten years I have been gone.

– –

My heart started to thud hard in my chest as we grew nearer to the edge of the forest. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind where we are going.

Suna.

What will happen when I touch the sand? Will Gaara know it is me? I hope not, it will ruin everything. But a secret part of my brain, the part attached to my heart, hopes he will. Every girls fantasy came to mind. A knight in shining armor coming to save me. But my knight has flaming red hair. My knight wields sand, not a sword. My knight would ride a cloud of dust, no a white steed. But my knight will never come. Because my knight thinks I'm dead, buried eight feet under the earth of which he walks.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, rubbing the ache in my side. Sakura had offered to numb it, but I won't let her touch me. Not after what she tried. Naruto, just like his old self, thinks it is funny and keeps touching me, disappearing, and reappearing five feet away laughing because he saw me jump.

Two more hours, Naruto said, and we will reach were we are going.

I had thought, only two? When I was running at my top speed, it took just about this amount of time to reach Suna. With the pace I have set, it should be another night before we reach the desert, right? I dread what I am going to see. I dread the fear that is already gnawing at my insides. Do I really want to see Suna at its worst? Do I want to go through with this? I could just take their word at how bad it is. I could just agree and get them to head back to Konoha. But what is stopping me? Why do I have this inner feeling, this _need_, to see the destruction of my beloved Suna?

Is it because I still see it as a sort of sanctuary? My last moments in Suna were that of peace. I was with Gaara, close enough to hear his breathing and the sound of my daughters breathing. Sure, she had burnt me moments before, something I will never forget. But the image of Gaara holding her at my feet had been stuck in my head all of these years. I know it is something I will never forget. I need to see Suna, I decided. I need to build my anger against those who are now my enemies. I need to see Suna in the state they left it in so I can leave it behind. I need to focus on getting my job done.

I need to focus on not letting them find out who I am. And I need to focus on tipping the balance of the war in Konoha and Suna's favor.

– –

We came to a stop before we reached the desert. Sakura said it would be better for me to catch my breath before we started out on the desert. Naruto gave me a fruit to eat, and it was good. But it unsettled my stomach, which was already churning with nerves. I forced myself to eat it, knowing I needed something, and smiled my thanks.

"Have you been to Suna before?" Sakura asked.

Why does she need to ask? She saw my tattoo. I nodded anyway.

"Try not to be too shocked then," Naruto said. "I'm sure it has changed a great deal since you have last seen it."

I swallowed the last of the fruit and nodded. I wont regret this, I thought. I can't regret this. I need to see this. I need to.

"Let's get moving so we can be there by the time the sun goes down." Sakura dusted off her skirt as she stood.

I thought this over as we started moving again. Before the sun goes down? I always remembered it being better to travel at dusk, when the heat of the sun was lower but just before the freezing cold of nights came upon the land. I remember my first time every going to Suna I got badly sun burnt. Naruto and Kiba teased me endlessly about it, too.

I knew I wouldn't like what I saw before we even reached the edge of the trees. I could _feel_ it. The desert is no longer a desert really. The ground is hard, cracked, and uneven. It looks like someone added tons and tons of water, set the sun on it for a week straight and forgot about it. It is exactly what I imagine a dry barren landscape is like. Not a blistering desert with tons of sand that got into every crack, every article of clothing. Just seeing the cracked earth gave me a stab on pain in my heart.

Naruto touched my shoulder than began running out to the treeless landscape. Sakura started after him. I took a deep breath and followed, noting how chilly it was. Even at noon. Now I know why Sakura said it would be better for me to catch my breath then, the wind is trying to rob it from me. The hard gusts blowing are not like those I created using my wind, they are natural winds that are trying to, literally, knock us off our feet.

We didn't stop. I wouldn't let them. I wanted to get off of this barren place and not have to look at it anymore. I don't want to feel the hard ground under my feet. What I would give to have the feeling on my feet sinking in the sand one more time. To have the heat of the sun beat so heavily on me I was left with burns. I ran with my eyes closed, following the sound of their feet as well as my perfect memory of the route to the front gates of Suna.

Blood was trickling down my throat by the time I noticed the slowing of their feet. I opened my eyes and glanced up, only to fall with a shock so strong it completely robbed the air and all feeling from my body. I bit down hard on my arm to keep from screaming.

The gates of Suna are destroyed.

The outer walls nothing but piles of stone. Buildings stood in half, some in quarters of what I remember them being. The big glorious water tower lay on its side, a gaping hole showing its empty belly. The wind blew dirt up in the air in front of me, obscuring my view for a few seconds. I bit down harder, willing the image to change. Willing what I see to be nothing but a nightmare. Suna can't be like this. It is impossible! Something so large, so grand, cannot change this much in ten years.

Naruto grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me to my feet, pushing me forward. "Let's get this over with." His voice was hard, full of contained emotion. Sakura's face was set as she walked beside me, staying just far enough away to make no contact with me.

We walked down the major street, one which I have lost memory of the name, but not of the road. This was the spot where all of the villagers greeted their Kage upon returning from his mission to watch us. I remember how they all cheered, how they fell silent at the raise of his hand. They loved him, respected him, so much. We turned and headed down a different street, climbing over piles of ruble. A wind blew and lifted dust into my eyes. I rubbed them hard to try to get it out, but it didn't work.

Naruto grabbed my arm to steady me, seeing my unbalance, and helped me down from the ruble. We walked down the street, and I tried to figure out which street it was. But the sight of a small discolored sign had my heart thumping hard again. I walked over to it and wiped my hand against it, reading the name.

"It used to be a tea place," Sakura said.

Yes, I remember. This is where Temari had me try tea for the first time. It was just after she took me shopping for some clothes for myself. I remember her laughter at the face I made when I tried it. I glanced around at the half standing building and felt my frown deepen. I turned away and followed the other two down the street some more. We passed all of the vendors broken tables and wagons, the broken buildings, and the dust.

We came to the Kazekage tower at last.

I stared up at the cracked building, spying a few holes here and there. How could this have all changed so much in ten years? It shouldn't be possible. I don't understand how it is. Ten years really isn't all that long. Surely not long enough for such damage as this to happen?

I walked right up to the broken doors and stepped over them, entering the building. The lobby still resembled what was in my memory. But the ceiling fell in at one spot, everything was old looking and damaged. I headed towards the stairs, testing the first step before I trusted my weight on it. It creaked. Something inside me let loose at the sound of that creak. And before I knew what I was doing, I was running up the stairs as fast as I could, dodging the broken steps, the ruble, and trash. Naruto and Sakura yelled after me as they followed.

I grabbed at the railing as my foot slipped on a piece of paper, but the railing broke from the wall with the force I grabbed it with. I started to fall backwards, but something caught me. Something hard and grainy. Something that made my head pound and everything around me shift to what I remembered it being like.

The bright colors of the pain blinded me, making me shield my eyes. Gaara stood at the tops of the stairs, a small smirk on his face at having seen me slip. I stuck my tongue out at him as he lifted me and carried me towards him with his sand, it sliding like rough silk across my skin, caressing every inch of skin it touched. His hand reached out and took hold of my hand as his sand set me down beside him. I couldn't help the smile that came to my face, or the blush I knew would be on my cheeks. His hair ruffled slightly with the wind, his eyes bright in the darkening light.

"Doe!"

I jumped at the sound of Naruto's frightened voice, the thumping of his steps getting closer. I stared at him as he came to a halt just below me, his chest rising and falling hard. His eyes were wide as he just stared. Sakura came up behind him, a little more calm, but her eyes growing wide as she stared at me.

The hand around my wrist tightened slightly and I was pulled back so they could come off the stairs. I looked at my wrist and followed the arm up to its owner, none other than the thick muscled, tall, and emotionless Gaara. The Kazekage is once more in his tower.

"Gaara, what are you doing here?" Naruto asked, patting the man roughly on the shoulder.

Gaara's eyes remained on mine. "I felt a disturbance and came to investigate."

I licked my lips and moved to step back from him, but the sand around my feet began to churn. I stopped moving altogether. I held completely still, not even daring to breathe. His fingers tightened, beginning to become slightly painful. I stared at his sculpted features, trying to will him to let go. I don't want to do this. I really don't. He doesn't know who I am and it can stay that way.

Sakura stepped forward and touched my back. "Are you okay? Naruto said he thought you were falling..."

I nodded, glanced at Gaara, then back at Sakura.

Sakura took hold of my other wrist and started pulling me to the side, and Gaara let go after a second. "Are you okay? Really?" I nodded again. She nodded and gave me a small smile, but her eyes were on Gaara. "We will have to chat later." I nodded again, completely agreeing.

"What kind of disturbance?" Naruto asked. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall.

Gaara's jaw worked, something I don't ever remember seeing him do. He looked thoroughly pissed off. Like he was containing the demon within. My heart skipped a beat. Shukaku! Of course he will know who I am! I felt my breath start to quicken, but Sakura's chakra pulsed into me, calming my nerves. I bit my lip hard to try and contain my emotions.

Gaara's fingers dug into his arm before he opened his mouth. "I will show you." He glanced over at us women from the corner of his eye. "Alone." Sand engulfed him and Naruto and they were gone.

Sakura sighed. "He has been like that for years, don't be offended." She dusted off her skirt and flicked her long hair over her shoulder. "Come on, lets see the rest of this place and be done with it."

I followed Sakura to a door. She stood to the side just staring at it. I stared at it, too. So many memories I hold happened just beyond that door. I died in that room. I got to know Gaara in that room. I reached for the door knob and turned it, swinging the door open without entering. With a deep breath and a gulp I stepped through and looked about. The hole I had seen earlier in the side of the building had been from this room. How I had not noticed before I don't know.

The whole back wall, where Gaara's winders had once been, are completely gone. Gaara's old desk was broken apart and shoved to the side of the room. The only thing that looks undamaged is the black leather couch off to the side. In the same exact spot I remember it being in when I laid down on it to rest. The same couch Gaara put in front of the windows when I was pregnant to keep me entertained. The same couch I had last seen before I returned to my own home. I walked over and ran my fingers over the soft leather, wiping away the dust with streaks.

Can I really do this? Moments ago I thought it would be best for Gaara to never know who I am. But can I do it? This couch has obviously been protected somehow. There is no doubt there was a fight in this office, with all the scuffs and scratches and holes in the walls. But this couch is perfect. A little dirty from none use, but perfect. It is like no one has touched it since I left. Since I died. I moved away from it before I started crying and went to the gaping hole in the wall. I gazed at the ruined village from the place I used to stand and watch the people of Suna happily go about their business. The same place I sat when the rain fell, when everything was okay. When everything was right. When I was happy, when Gaara was happy. When we were falling in love.

Love. Does he still love me? Does he wish I was here every second of everyday, like I used to? My eyes moved to a spot of the village that had been cleared out, where I can see the red of Gaara's hair and the yellow of Naruto's. They are standing beside something big. I glanced back at Sakura with a frown and she came over to have a look.

"That's Kira's grave..." she whispered. "Kira was Gaara's only love. The twins are her kids. She died not long after they were born, I'm sure I told you. That is where she was buried. Come on, let's go down. I want to see what is wrong."

With each step my heart rate picked up. We ran, because Sakura was anxious, which only contributed to accelerating my heart rate. When we got close I could see the tension in Naruto's back, the way he is holding his head. Gaara has been tense since I first saw him, so it was really nothing I picked up on. I thought it was just him. But not I can see why.

My grave. That's why. It is all dug up, the coffin torn apart. And whoever did it didn't even try to conceal it in the least. I stared at the hole in the ground, the mess around it, and the empty coffin. Sakura's whole body tensed and her jaw muscle twitched. I bit the side of my cheek. Jiraiya could have done something to hide the fact that he dug me out. He could have at least been careful when he broke open the coffin to get me out, I thought. But then I remember the fear I felt when I first woke up. I guess it is understandable that he ripped it off so hard.

"Who did this?" Sakura hissed. I looked down at my feet with a frown. How do I play my part? The girl who doesn't know the dead one and who must act like it bothers her this happened. But it doesn't. It doesn't bother me in the least! Because I'm alive, and being alive is a great feeling.

Gaara took a few steps forward and picked something up off the ground. "I don't know." He lifted it up and showed it to Naruto. I felt my heart contract. It is a necklace I had around my neck at all times, one with a small pouch of his sand in it. So he could always feel where I was. Jiraiya must have taken it off me. "But I plan to kill whoever did."

"There are no tracks, no scent, no nothing. How do you plan on finding them?" Naruto asked. He was working his jaw, like Gaara had, but with less force.

Gaara's eyes flickered to me. "By asking her."

My eyes widened and I gulped.

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**Review? I'd love to hear your thoughts about what just happened!**


	12. Sensei

**Well, after a long while, I finally have this chapter done. Not sure I'm liking where it's going, so I may change it a little.**

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Chapter 11, Sensei.

Naruto looked between us. "Her? What does she have to do with anything?"

Gaara stepped right up to me and stared down into my eyes. "Everything." His hand came up so fast I had no time to react. He snatched the mask from my face and took a startled step back. My hands flew up to cover my face.

Naruto's jaw dropped and Sakura gasped loudly. Gaara's face was that of pure shock. Then it turned to uncertainty. I peeked out from between my fingers at him, my breath coming in and out as gasps. Why did he just do that! Who did he think I was? I spotted my mask on the floor and lunged for it, but Naruto kicked it farther away before I could grab it. He spun me around, pinning my arm behind my back, his arm across my throat, threatening to cut off my air.

"What the hell kind of genjutsu is this?" he growled at me. "Deactivate it!" The yell so close to my ear had me flinching, which made him tighten his arm around my throat. I gasped and tried to pull away his arm with my other hand, but he twisted my arm a little more, and put more pressure on my throat. "Deactivate it!" he yelled.

I felt my eyes starting to bulge slightly, my face I knew was starting to change colors from the lack of air, and I could already feel my feet going numb. My eyes flickered with black dots, and that was when I saw the unmasked rage on Gaara's face.

"Gaara!" I gasped just as he through all of his power behind his sand at Naruto. I had no other choice. Gaara would have killed the both of us.

The sand stopped abruptly in front of me, like it had hit a wall. Naruto's grip fell with the shock of the attack and the sudden stop. I elbowed him in the stomach and sidestepped out of the way as my hold on the sand failed and it came hurdling at us. Sand wrapped around my legs, but I waved it away and it fell uselessly to the floor. I rubbed my throat as I waited for Gaara's next move.

But it never came.

When I met his eyes he fell. Gaara fell to his knees, his face upturned, staring at me with his mouth open a little. Tears shined in his eyes. I have never, _ever_, seen Gaara cry. I've never even thought about him tearing up at something. But here he is, staring at me with tears rolling down his cheeks. I heard a stifled gasp and glanced over to see Sakura in full tears, but with a smile. Naruto was sitting on the floor with a smile and gave me a nod of approval. Had he known all along?

"Kira?" Gaara's strangled whisper had me looking at him again.

I swallowed hard and picked up my mask, putting it back on my face and walking out the door. I didn't look back. I walked right down the stairs, through the lobby, and out the door. I headed back to the gates, but found myself taking a detour. Before I knew it I was standing in front of the house I had lived in with Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro. Only a quarter of it stands. The roof Gaara and I sat on for hours at night was demolished.

I felt him behind me before I heard the sand shift. "Kira..." His hand touched my arm, his fingers easily wrapping around my elbow. I couldn't make myself pull away from him. But I didn't look at him either. And he didn't try to move me in anyway. He just stood behind me with his hand wrapped around my elbow. "Tell me this is a dream," he finally whispered.

Slowly I turned to face him, his hold on me breaking. I looked up into his eyes, so wide and shining in the dim light. I stared into their pupil less depths and found myself with tears starting to form. I shook my head. "I can't do that. I lived ten years thinking this was all a dream. I can't do that to you," I whispered.

His hand slowly came up and removed my mask, once more dropping it to the ground. His eyes scanned my face, his hands reached up and wrapped around my upper arms, squeezing slightly. I swallowed hard. This is absolutely the very thing I wanted to avoid. What do I say? Sorry I've been gone for so long, I've been getting drunk every night and watching my best friend screw up her life? Yeah. That would be a real conversation starter!

But Gaara's eyes closed and his body leaned forward. He moved slowly, but it wasn't long before he had me wrapped up in his arms, lifting me off the ground. He has definitely gotten taller, towering over me more than ever. I felt the intake of air as he breathed in, then the heat as he breathed out. I closed my eyes and wiggled until I could somewhat hug him back.

"I thought I would never see you again," he whispered.

I smiled, knowing he couldn't see it. How odd. I had thought the same thing. I took a deep breath against his jacket. He still smells the same, maybe a little more musky, though. I took another deep breath and let it out slowly. Gaara pulled back and stared down into my eyes, his still shiny and a little red. I smiled at him. My smile was all he needed to lift me up again in his arms, and whisk me away with a gust of sand.

I frowned when I saw where we ended up. The only part of the wall left unharmed. It also happened to overlook the place where I had been buried. I stared at the hole in the ground and took a deep breath. His hand ran over my hair, combing his fingers through. His other stayed on the small of my back.

"You haven't changed at all," he whispered. His fingers combed through my hair again.

I worked my tongue and looked up at his face. "I may not look physically different, Gaara, but I am a completely different person. As I am very sure you are, too." I bit my lip and glanced down. "It has been ten years."

His head bent down and leaned against my neck. I felt the deep intake of breath he took, and felt his arm circling around my waist. "I can't believe you are here," he said again. His arm tightened. "You really did come back."

"Gaara!" Naruto flashed to our sides, startling me. I jumped a little bit, unconsciously moving closer to Gaara. His arm tightened around me. Naruto's blue eyes held flames. "Don't you ever do that again! You aren't even supposed to be here! Do you have _any_ idea how dangerous it is for you to be _near_ this place? You can't just go running off like that!" Naruto's flaming eyes turned on me. "And _you_! You, of all people, should know how dangerous this place can be."

I looked down at my feet. I do know. But I had forgotten for a moment.

"Do not lecture me. You are not Hokage yet, Uzumaki." Gaara said. He pulled me towards the edge of the wall and held on tight as he jumped down. Sakura was waiting for us, hands on her knees and breathing hard. She just stared at me as Gaara landed, never loosening his arm around me. "Come, we will go back to Konoha. The twins will want to see you." His arm tightened and the sand started to swirl around us.

"No!" I knocked all of the sand away and pulled away from him. "No, Gaara." How can I say this? I guess there is no easy way. "I have not come back, not really. I am here only for one reason, you must understand!"

Gaara's hand lashed out and grabbed my upper arm, holding on painfully. "And what would that reason be?" he hissed in my face. I could read the hurt all over his body, but he tried to hide it. His hand tightened. "Answer me!"

I pulled roughly away from him and clenched my teeth. "I absolutely haven't come back to be abused by you!" The shock on his face was so great that I could have slapped him with a fish and he would have the same expression. "The countries are at war, Gaara, if you have forgotten. _That_ is why I am here. I left my family, my life, behind to save this world. I do not need to be lectured or abused by you because of it. Maybe Sakura can just erase your memory for you so you don't even know I am here." I spun on my heal and looked at Naruto. "I believe I have seen enough. I want to go back."

He nodded and motioned with his head for me to go first. I snapped my fingers and the sand at my feet formed into my mask, rising to meet my hand. I placed it on my face. Then I started walking towards the gates.

I did so without looking back to see Gaara's face. I know there will be a hurt so strong it will send me to my knees.

– –

"Doe! Doe! Doe!"

I glanced behind me and opened up my arms just in time for Aiko to fly into me. She giggled as she wiggled all around, hugging me and kissing me. She patted my cheeks and kissed my nose and laughed again. I smiled brightly and kissed her cheek, setting her back on the ground. She giggled again and ran behind my legs, peaking out behind.

"Daddy, no! No, Daddy!" She giggled harder and screamed as Naruto jumped out from behind the corner of a building. "Daddy bad! Bad Daddy! Bad! Bad! Bad!" She giggled loudly again and was off like a rocket.

Naruto winked as he passed, running after the little lightning bolt.

I kept walking towards the training ground where I knew I would find Temari with my daughter. My finger traced the cool porcelain of my mask. I wish I didn't have to wear this stupid thing. Gaara, the one person I wanted most to know, knows, and I hate it. Naruto knew from the beginning, though he wont tell me how, Sakura knows, and Kakashi saw right through me. Who else is going to know in the next few days? Naruto and Hinata are _married_. He will probably tell her. And she will be to excited to keep it to herself.

I kicked a stone and glanced out over the small field. There they are, Temari and Jessica. Naruto and Gaara both requested that I go out during their training period and see if I might be able to help. I scoffed. Of course I might be able to help. Naruto explained to me that Jessica is just like her mother. Just like me. But she doesn't know how to use or control her powers. They are hoping I can teach her. But how? How can I show her how without giving myself away?

I chewed all of this over as I made my way towards them. Gaara hasn't looked me in the eye since I put my mask back on.

Temari noticed me and waved me over, but Jessica did not look up from what she was trying to do. I took a seat in front of her, watching Temari do her teaching. Maybe if I watch I might be able to understand Jessica's frustrations and what she can't get.

"Feel the chakra run through your body," Temari was saying. "Let it make your toes tingle all the way up to your nose. Now, bring the power to your fingertips. Let it glow." Sweat beaded on my daughters face, trickling down her cheeks. But nothing happened. There was no glow in her fingers.

"I can't do it!" she yelled. Jessica glared at Temari. "You know I can't. So stop trying to make me do it! We've been trying this for weeks!"

Temari took a deep breath and put a gentle hand on Jessica's back. "It takes time, Jess. And we have all the time in the world."

Frustrated tears formed in the little girls brown eyes. "No, Aunt Temari, we don't. They are going to attack here soon, and everyone will be needed. I have to be able to help, Aunty! I have to learn." Jessica squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. Her forehead furrowed as she concentrated, her teeth clamping down on her lip.

I couldn't hold still any longer, not seeing the blood bead at her lips from her biting them. I reached out with one hand and gently touched her chin, bringing her attention to me and off the biting. I held one finger up and crossed my legs in front of me like she was doing. I placed my hands up turned on each knee and waited for her to do the same. I took a deep exaggerated breath and let it out slowly through my mouth. I breathed in through my nose again, and out through my mouth.

Jessica started to take the deep breaths, pausing for a few seconds between each. I breathed with her, watching as her muscles slowly relaxed, her eyes shutting on their own. I closed my eyes as well and we just breathed deeply, relaxing. Temari was silent through it all. After five or six minutes I opened my eyes again and uncrossed my legs, leaning over one to stretch. Jessica followed my movements without complaint.

We stretched every muscle in our bodies we could then I had her stand next to me, facing the village. I took a step forward and her foot moved less than a second behind mine. And without communicating it, we were running towards the village. I lead us through a path that would soon become routine for her, one that was a combination of flat surfaces, hills, and obstacles. Hopefully she will be able to learn to use the wind in aiding her with her running. I can already feel the wind beating against my cheek coming off her. I just need her to feel it this time.

When the sun started to set we were both panting for air, sweat trickling out of every pore on our bodies, feeling like we were going to drop at any second, but still jogging. We looped around the Hokage building and came to a stop in front of it. Jessica sat down before I could and started the deep breathing I showed her. I stood against the wall and watched my daughter do something that I had taught her. Me! She is doing something that I, her mother, taught her to do. I think my heart is above the clouds right now with how high its flying.

After her heart rate was calm and her breathing back, Jessica stood and gave me a small smile. "Will I see you tomorrow, Sensei?"

My heart soared higher as I nodded to her. She smiled bigger and ran off into the building.

"Looks like you've won her over," someone's hand fell on my shoulder and gave a light squeeze. I glanced back to see Kankuro. His face has surely matured. He looks much older, and without the paint on his face, much cuter. "It is hard for her to trust people. Just remember that."

I nodded, letting my eyes briefly glance over him. What is it with these guys letting their hair grow out? Kankuro's brown hair is long enough to hand in his eyes, and it brushes the back of his neck. His muscles, like Gaara's, are now thick. There is a look to his face that says he isn't the stupid Kanky I used to know and love. When I saw him in Tsunade's office I hadn't really looked him over well. I had been to shocked to see everyone else that I had somehow over looked him a little bit. But I don't know how I could have. This definitely isn't the same man that used to tease me.

His hand squeezed once more and I saw his back as he started walking away. Before he got too far he glanced back with a wink and said, "It's nice to have you back, Kira."

I stood with my jaw open as I stared at his retreating back. How is it everyone is finding out! Did Gaara tell him? Does that mean Temari knew who I was? Was that why she let me take over so easily? I stamped my foot and turned, stalking back to my room in Tsunade's place. I will have to talk with her about it. I am not even sure if she knows Gaara knows about me. Does she even know Kakashi knows? He could have lied to me, after all. No, she knows he knows. Kakashi isn't a liar.

Speaking of the devil! I jogged to catch up with him and Sakura, grabbed both of their hands and rushing them towards a back alley. They both went along with me without struggling. Once we were in the shadows I glanced at him, he nodded and I smiled so bright I thought it would sweep away the shadows.

"I helped her!" I whispered. "And she listened to me! I taught her something! My own baby girl." I put my hands to my mouth to try and hide the brightness of my smile, but I knew they would still see it.

Sakura smiled and Kakashi's eye crinkled. "Are you going to become her teacher?" Kakashi asked.

I nodded. "She has my powers, so I am really the only one that can help her. I just need to figure out how to show her without giving myself away. Can you believe it! I'm going to be spending time with my baby!"

Sakura's smile grew. "I'm very happy for you," she said. "Maybe Yukio will hang around when you are teaching so you can see both of them. I might drop a few hints to get him over some times."

"Thank you!" I hugged her tightly. "And I'm sorry about everything, Sakura," I whispered in her ear.

Her arms tightened around me. "It's okay. I completely understand."

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**Review? I might be changing this chapter a little, so make sure you check back and make sure okay? Hope you enjoyed!**


	13. Down Fall

Chapter 12, Downfall.

My arms moved in a flowing motion around my body, something I had seen on TV a few months ago. It might help Jessica to understand the flow of water. Trying to communicate with her without writing down every word is getting easier. She understands what I am trying to say. Like right now. I motion to myself, following one arm with my hand, then doing the flowing motion. She nodded, closed her eyes and breathed deeply as she moved, trying to imitate water.

I shook my head. This isn't going to work.

Jessica sat down with a sigh, crossing her arms. She is getting frustrated again. But for a ten year old, she is pretty good. Her hand to hand combat is just as good as mine. Though, with who her aunt and uncle are, one would expect that. And the running I have her doing, once when she wakes up and once before she goes to bed, is helping to build her endurance. And mine as well. We always run together, always.

Two weeks working with her and we have gotten no where. Two weeks I've been able to spend precious moments with my daughter, seeing all the sides of her. She definitely has her fathers anger, there is no doubt about that one. And she likes to throw things, like Temari. But she has a very gentle side. She is smart, very smart. I see more of her Uncle Kaleb in her everyday. And Savannah, I see her gentleness in Jessica. But I have also seen her vulnerable side. The other children pick on her because she has no ninja skills, yet she is still in the academy. She takes on Gaara's blankness whenever she gets teased, and threatens to kill them. They just laugh harder and make fun of her even more. Once I had seen her run away so they wouldn't see her cry.

That's when the light bulb went off in my head.

Her emotions! That is how I learned to use my powers, so it is how I will teach her to use hers! Now I just need to find a way to get her overly emotional. I watched her as I thought. She has never talked about me. Maybe if I ask her? It might work. I know she gets angry easily, so that wont be a problem. Sadness, on the other hand, may be hard. She already enjoys running, and I can tell she is starting to realize a few things when she runs. Earth is going to be the hardest. I don't remember connecting any emotion to it, just the feeling.

I will start with sadness. Ice.

I took out my notebook and scribbled on it. _Tell me about your mother. Who was she?_

Jessica stared at my words for a few seconds and shrugged. "I never met her. She died a little after Yukio and I were born. Daddy doesn't talk about her to much. I think he is still hurt."

I clenched my teeth and wrote again. _You've never heard stories of her?_

A small smile appeared. "No, I've heard tons of stories. Aunt Temari and Uncle Kanky used to tell us stories about her before we went to bed. They don't anymore, though."

I nodded. How can I get her sad? Maybe I could try the anger approach. _Tell me about her a little. From what I heard, she wasn't a very good person._

Jessica's smile was gone and her brown furrowed slightly. "My mother was a great person, Sensei. She saved everyone's lives, you know. She stopped a disaster from happening, because she knew about a plague that no one knew about."

This is going to work, for anger, anyway. _How do you know she didn't spread the plague to make herself look better?_

Her hands clenched in her lap. "Because she was never like that."

_How do you know? You just said you never met her._

Her eyes shut. "Because I just know. I remember a little bit of her when I was in her womb. She was very kind. She loved us. Even when we hurt her, she always loved us."

_She could have pretended so you would stop hurting her._

"No!" Jessica screamed. Her hands grabbed her legs tightly and her teeth gritted together. "My mother never did that! She loved us!"

I snapped my fingers in front of her face. She looked up startled. I snapped my fingers again, and she confusedly did the same. A flame danced on her palm. She gasped and it went away, leaving behind a tiny line of smoke. Her face showed her complete shock. She looked up at me, then back down at her hand. She tried snapping again, but nothing happened.

I wrote down on the paper: _anger = fire_

She nodded, closed her eyes, snapped, and the flame was back. But it disappeared again when the thought she had in her head slipped. "Thank you!" I was unprepared when she jumped at me, hugging me tightly. I was about to put my arms around her, but she was gone, running towards the Hokage tower. Probably to show her father.

I laid back on the grass and looked up at the clouds. Today is a beautiful day. This snow melted in this area, that is why I picked it. It's warm out, too. Probably fifty degrees, maybe a little higher. I can still feel the warmth from Jessica. I smiled. My baby is so wonderful. I just wish I could get to know her brother a little more. Last week he stopped by to watch for a few hours, but got bored and left before I could get him involved with anything we were doing.

"Doe-sensei?"

I turned to see just the little boy I was thinking about. A striking resemblance to his father, but with eyes like my own. I smiled at him to show I was listening.

"Is Jess getting better?" he asked. "Because I don't like it when the kids make fun of her. But Daddy wont let me do anything about it. He said she needs to figure it out on her own."

I nodded.

"So the others will stop picking on her now?"

I licked my lips and took a deep breath. That would be a hard one to figure out. They might, but with how little she knows right now, they could use it to their advantage and make her feel even worse about herself. So all I could do was shrug.

He nodded, biting his cheek. It is a little odd to be seeing a small Gaara being so expressive. But it is also cute. His red hair and pale face give him that baby look. But those brown eyes are full of knowledge. "Thank you, Doe-sensei, for helping her. She is a lot better now. She hasn't put any dead animals under my blankets since you started working with her." His smile was so bright I couldn't help but smile back. "Bye, Doe-sensei!" He waved over his shoulder as he ran off.

My little boy worries about his sister. That is good, considering all the harm she has done to him. It is good they care about each other like they do. I just hope she doesn't control him like she used to do in my womb. But from what I see of her now, she is very little like what she was then. Though, the threatening sounds just like her. Sounds just like the stories I used to hear about Gaara.

As my mind was brought back to Gaara, I remembered what Kakashi had told me that night on the roof of the Hokage tower. Gaara had started killing again after my death. He was so emotionally unstable that he resorted to killing anyone who got on his wrong side. But there was another thing, something tugging at the back of my mind. The couch. The black couch in Gaara's office in Suna. Didn't Kakashi say he through it out? That he wanted nothing to do with anything involving me? The couch had been in that office. It was still there, in the exact same spot that I remember it being in.

Did Kakashi lie? Or did he just not know?

But something I do remember is him never mentioning how Gaara took the downfall of Suna.

My direction changed and I headed to the edge of the old side of the village. Kakashi and Sakura must live somewhere around that area, and, if not, it will be easy to find them. Both are overly famous. It was fairly easy to find them, for I saw Sakura entering an upstairs apartment when I came around a block. I went up the steps, and right up to the door. But it was opening before I could knock. Sakura pulled me in and shut the door behind her.

"What's up?" she asked. "I saw you before I came in, I wasn't looking out the window or anything." Sakura walked into the living room area, where I found Kakashi on the couch. She sat down next to him and their hands automatically went together. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

I stood in front of them and took a deep breath. "I want to know something, and I want the truth."

Kakashi shifted on the couch and nodded. "We will tell you anything you want to know."

"I want to know about Suna's downfall," I told them. "Using every detail." 

The two of them shifted and glanced at each other. It was Sakura who would explain first. "You may want to sit..."

"I will stand." I clenched my hands behind my back and spread my feet a little, giving me a stable stance.

"Okay," she shifted again and moved forward, linking her fingers around Kakashi's over her knees. "Well, where do you want me to start?"

"At the beginning. At my death." My heart raced.

She nodded and thought for a few seconds. "The night you died, Gaara-sama went on a rampage. All of us were called to Suna to try and protect the people from him, that is how bad it got. Temari found Jessica on the floor of his office, where he had placed her before Shukaku took over. Two hundred people were killed that night, along with you. No one could get close to him for weeks. The day of your funeral was the only day he was calm and collected, helping bury you. That, after the funeral, is when Suna started to fall apart."

Kakashi continued. "Kazekage-sama was depressed. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't speak, wouldn't sleep. I spent months over in Suna trying to help Temari and Kankuro run Suna themselves. But it was hard for them. Kazekage-sama did things a different way than and other Kage had done in Suna. It took awhile to figure out the systems he used to get things done. Without his leadership, the people became afraid. They tried to overthrow the Sabaku's. That was when Hokage-sama stepped in. They fought, a long and hard battle in the desert. And that is partly the reason it looks like it does now."

"That woke Gaara-sama up enough to realize what was happening to his people," Sakura said. "It had been two years by then, and the twins were getting older. He missed two years of their lives that he could never get back. I, myself, heard him promise to Temari and the twins he would never leave again. He wouldn't go so far away from them like he had." She paused, taking a shaky breath. "And so far he has kept that promise."

I nodded, taking all of this in. "How did Suna fall?"

Kakashi rubbed Sakura's back. "Iwa and Oto attacked them, like they had before, when you fought. But Suna wasn't as prepared. Their Kage was trying to deal with his depression as well as his grief, their main defense, the desert, was turning into some wasteland that had enough moisture to make solid earth. Iwa had a huge advantage this time. And that is why they won. Kazekage-sama was barely able to get the majority of his people out of the village before the walls fell. Many, many people died."

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and looked at her feet. "They all came here. Gaara-sama didn't know where else to go, and he knew Tsunade-sama would never turn him down. That is how they came to be here in Konoha. It took awhile but we got everyone a place to live and food to eat. We even extended the academy for the children of Suna to enter in."

"He didn't fight?" I asked. "Gaara didn't fight them when they attacked Suna?"

Kakashi stood then, walking over and looking out the window. "He was smart not to, Kira. He knew he would lose. He was smart enough to get as many people out of the village as he could in the small amount of time he had. There was no way he could have saved Suna, even if you had been there beside him."

I blinked back my tears and bit down on my cheek. No, Kakashi is wrong on that one. If I hadn't left, if I hadn't died, he would never have been in the state of depression he had been in. Suna would never have fallen. Everything would have been okay.

"Don't think that," Sakura said, holding my hand. "There was nothing anyone could have done, not even you. All we can do now is try our best. We need you to be strong, Kira. We need you to fight."

I will fight.

I pulled my hand away from Sakura's and glanced at them both. "Thank you."

I will destroy them.

"But I need to go and train. I need to talk with Tsunade-sama." I turned to go, but Sakura grabbed my arm to stop me.

"I will go with you. Just wait a second, I need to use the restroom." She ran off down the hall and I heard a door slam.

I rolled my eyes. Of course, what a girl. Kakashi was chuckling over by the window. "Be careful about what you do, Kira. There are always eyes watching, and some eyes may be that of evil."

I nodded. He is absolutely right.

When Sakura came out of the bathroom we headed towards Tsunade's office. I don't know how this is going to work, but I hope she can help me. Maybe I can go up into the mountains, where there would be no one around. And even if someone did happen to see me, I could easily cover up their death by some natural disaster. A rock slide, a flood. The possibilities are endless when you have all of the elements at your fingertips.

"Come in," she yawned.

But we were already walking towards her desk. I think that was the first time I had ever seen her door open. Sakura quickly scooted the twins off the chairs and out of the room, closing the door behind them. I looked Tsunade directly in the eye as I spoke.

"I need to train. I need to use my powers. I need space to use my powers. And I need help in doing so."

She nodded. "I thought it would come to this, just not so soon." She sighed. Tsunade quickly downed the last of her sake and stood, tapping a finger to her chin as she crossed her arms over her breasts. "There is an area up on the mountain that is completely secluded from everyone else. Partly for reasons like yours. But you will need someone capable enough to train with you..." Her eyes slid towards Gaara. "And someone who has the authority to wave off anyone who might be in the area and wonder what's going on..."

"So I should take Naruto, then?" I asked quickly.

Tsunade frowned. "I was thinking more of Kazekage-sama. He will be able to contain anything you do and he will be able to create a course as well. What do you say, Kazekage-sama?" Tsunade looked over at him with raised eyebrows.

Gaara's jaw was clenched, probably with me because I said Naruto over him. "That would be a great idea, Hokage-sama. Why don't we have Youji come as well?" The sarcastic tone in Gaara's voice surprised me. Who is Youji anyway?

"Great idea!" Tsunade clapped her hands together with a smile. "I will arrange for her to be there." Her eyes turned back to me. "Later tonight I want you to come to the living room. I have something I want to show you."

I bowed slightly. "Thank you." I was about to leave the room when I heard Gaara's chair once more.

I glanced back in time to see his sand sweep him away into nothing.


	14. Youji

**After such a long time I have finally finished this chapter! Rene123, I must say, you inspired me to get it done :) I hope you all enjoy!**

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Chapter 13, Youji.

The next day I found myself leaving Jessica half way through our run to meet up with Gaara in the mountain. I ran and ran and ran, slowing to a stop after it became to much. Gaara can find me, I don't need to look for him. I sat down and then fell to my back, stretching my arms and legs out as I breathed deeply. I've gotten my whole run in for the day. No need to train now. Maybe I should just go back down to my bed and sleep the day away. That sounds like a perfect day to me!

But just as I was thinking that I heard the rustle of sand. I glanced to my left and let my eyes slowly travel from Gaara's boots to his head, taking in every inch of his new body that I have yet to fully burn into my mind. His blank face, though, has been burned in my head since I first saw him. The way he talked so calmly to me that night. How he explained who he was, that I was safe. I remember his face perfectly. I remember his hands on my legs to keep me from kicking. I remember how he let me ride on his back because I was hurt. I also remember how I brutally stabbed him to get away. But he still tried to let me know I was safe.

He was always kind to me.

I took a deep breath and let it out all at once, pushing myself to my feet. My dress is different today, I'm not wearing what I normally wear. I have on a pair of those shorts Sakura used to wear under her skirt, the kind of spandex ones. And a tight tank top. Clothing that wont restrict my movements, and that will help with keeping me from over heating. The only bad thing about both is that they are black.

"Ready when you are, Kazekage-sama," I smirked and spread my feet, lifting my arms up into a ready position.

Gaara's face didn't change, and his arms stayed folded across his chest. He no longer wore his Kage robes. He is wearing some kind of leather vest and thick looking pants. I've never seen him dressed this way. It's kind of sexy.

The air rushed out of my lungs as I was slammed into the ground by sand. My back throbbed from being hit, but I was up in a flash, jumping and ducking out of the way of the next attacks. Jerk! I thought. Of course he waits until I am fully distracted to attack! I caught sight of the smirk between dodges.

I tried to clear my head, moving on nothing but instinct. I don't know how much I can do this by thought, so I will have to test myself. I waved away a sweep of sand, but it took a mental thought to do. It should all come by instinct so that I can think of other things while I'm fighting. Like what to do once I win the fight. A cylinder shot up under Gaara, but he must have had some idea about it because he was able to dodge. But it gave me a moment to recollect myself, then I was attacking him and he was on the defensive side. I used the wind to blow the sand around, out of Gaara's control at times, to blind him, used earth to shake his feet so he didn't have good balance and used the perspiration on his skin to make his breathing seem harder.

Then I jumped at him, using physical attacks rather than elemental.

I kicked towards his feet, then faked and brought my other foot up towards his face. But Gaara grabbed my ankle and held it tight, leaving me upside down in front of him. I used his strength against him, knowing he would hold me up, and bent my knee until I was almost sitting up straight before I twisted, bringing my full weight down towards the ground to break his hold. I landed on my hands and knees, but quickly rolled out of the way to avoid another sand attack.

We continued like this for well over an hour. By the time I was to tired to move the land around us was completely destroyed. I let his sand catch me, not moving, laying limp to show I give up. He set me down and bent down over his heels as he breathed deeply, trying to catch his breath. I laid on the ground where he had set me and tried to slow my panting down. Every part of my body aches.

"You are better than I thought you would be," Gaara admitted.

I smiled faintly. "Thank you. You, too."

He snorted at that. I heard a slight thud and opened my eyes to see him stretched out on his back with an arm over his face. What a baby. I'm not that strong. He can't possibly be worn out right now. But then I remembered something Kakashi said. Shukaku is still inside him, which could be why he is so worn out right now. If Shukaku went on such a rampage as he did when I left, what could he be doing to Gaara now that I am back? He probably wants to crush me. I sighed. I'm tired of people wanting to crush me. Can't someone just want to give me a hug? Or shake my hand? That would be nice. Yes, that would be wonderful.

"Does it hurt?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"Hn?"

I hesitated. What if I'm wrong? What is Shukaku isn't hurting him? I decided I'd rather look a fool than never know. "Shukaku. Does he hurt you still?"

Gaara was silent. I was sure he wouldn't answer when I heard him whisper, "Yes. Very much."

I bit my lip. And it's my fault. "I'm sorry..."

I heard Gaara sit up but I didn't look over at him. We were both silent, thinking in our own worlds. I rolled on to my back and watched as the stars started to poke out of the darkening sky. I hadn't realized how late it'd gotten. What is everyone doing right now? Hinata and Naruto are probably at home getting their kids supper and then baths before bed. Sakura and Kakashi are probably going out to eat, him treating her. And Kiba? What is he doing right now? What about the others? Tenten, Neji, Lee, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Shino? Where are they? How are they? I haven't seen most of them. Temari and Kankuro are most likely dealing with the twins at this point, wrestling them into eating and sending them to bed. Something Gaara and I would have been doing if this never happened. I'd kiss them goodnight and go watch a movie with Gaara before we went to bed.

"And the twins?" I asked. "Does Jessica and Yukio feel any of it?"

I recognized the sound of Gaara messing his hair with his hand. "Sometimes. If Shukaku starts fighting me for control they can feel it. They've saved me from losing more times than I can remember." His answers held no feeling in them. Just facts he was saying.

I finally sat up and looked at him. He was looking at the ground with his arms hanging over his knees. "Do they ever wonder?" I whispered. I felt the tears in the back of my throat and had to push it down hard. Gaara's eyes lifted to mine, his lips turning down in question. I swallowed. "Do they ever wonder about who I was?"

His eyes stayed steady on mine. "No."

The word hit me hard. I had to look away or he would see the water in my eyes. I bit back a sob and clamped my teeth shut hard. How can they not wonder about me? I'm their mother! They've never asked about me? Not even once?

"Because I never let them forget."

His words took away the sudden pain. I looked at him. "What?" I asked stupidly.

This time he did look away. "I never let them forget who you are," He said. "Were," he quickly corrected. "I told them every night stories about you. Temari and Kankuro helped, remembering things I hadn't yet. Telling things they experienced with you that I did not. They never once asked because I told them everything before they could."

I've never felt butterflies in my heart before, but I feel them now. It's exactly like the feeling you get in your stomach, but in your chest and more intense. I put my hand to my chest just to make sure my heart didn't fly right out of my body.

"She's been asking about you more," he said. I glanced over at him. His face was turned up towards the sky. "We all knew when you entered the world. The twins more than anyone. They both came in and crawled in my bed, begging for another story. I-" his voice cut off for a second, but he continued. "I felt it. But I couldn't believe it. I had seen you die. I heard your last breath." Gaara fell silent as he stared at the moon. I kept my eyes on him. "For ten years I've tried to build a better view of you for the twins. And I succeeded in it. Jessica has been coming to my room every night for the last two weeks asking about you. Last night she asked why you never hated her for what she did to you." I saw the frown that formed on his face. "I had no answer for her."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Because she is still my baby," I whispered. I wanted to scoff at the deep sound of my voice, obviously choking with tears. "Its not something that can be explained. I will always love my babies, no matter what happens. They could be aiding Oto and Iwa and I would still love them with all my heart."

I cried quietly into my arm, hoping Gaara would leave me alone for a moment. But the second I felt his arm around my shoulders, my sobs got louder and I knew how badly I wanted him to hold me. Gaara put his other arm around me and drew me to his chest, allowing me every opportunity to pull away. But I didn't. And soon I had my face in the crook of his neck with my hands fisted in the leather of his vest covering his back.

Why is this happening? He didn't have to tell me that. He didn't have to say anything to me. But he did. He told me how much my babies need to know about me. He told me everything I needed to know. That they love me. And by telling me that, he told me something he would have never said out loud.

Gaara loves me.

My arms tightened around him and I pushed my forehead tighter against his neck.

And I love him.

– –

I jerked a little when a ray of light hit my eyes. I slowly opened them as I sat up, looking around. How had I fallen asleep? The ground all around is completely destroyed. Trees laying in awkward fashions, chunks of earth are piled up, and scattered everywhere. There was a noise behind me. I turned to see Gaara putting his arm over his face to block the sun, not two feet from me.

I know, for a fact, nothing happened last night.

I must have fallen asleep crying. That's all. And he was just being nice and letting me sleep. I wonder how long it has been since he slept. The black around his eyes is really, really dark. I stood up and cracked my back as I bent backwards. My whole body is sore. I just want to curl up next to him and sleep the day away. But I know I can't. And neither can he. We both have to train, or I'm not going to get anywhere.

I walked over to him and nudged him lightly in the side with my toe. He didn't move. I nudged him a little harder. He grunted, but did nothing else. I smiled a little. What a baby! I kicked him lightly this time, then a little harder when I got nothing out of him. I was about to kick him again when his hand lashed out and grabbed my foot, his angry eyes glaring up at me.

I smiled brightly. "Rise and shine!"

He grudgingly let go and got up himself.

I stretched out all of my sore joints and muscles, preparing for today's harsh training. I'm hoping Gaara will create obstacles for me to go through. That would be challenging, not knowing what is going to hit me next. At least when I can see him I have some sort of idea where the attack is coming from. He still hasn't gotten rid of the twitching in his fingers every time he uses the sand. Must be some mental thing he never notices.

But my plans were foiled when I heard footsteps coming our way. I pulled out a kunai and slipped into my ready position. Who could be all the way up here? Surely Tsunade wouldn't send anyone!

But to my amazement it was Jiraiya who walked through the trees towards us. I slipped the kunai back into my pouch and waited for him to walk over to us with a smile. Gaara's arms were folded across his chest as we waited.

"Good morning!" Jiraiya called from across the clearing. He slowly made his way over. "Doesn't the sun feel wonderful?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here, old man?" Has he been hanging out with Naruto to much? Maybe them living in the same village isn't such a good idea...

Jiraiya just laughed. "Why, Kazekage-sama, I came to take over Kira's training for the day! Tsunade needs you back in the office, something about battle tactics for the oncoming war. I volunteered to help Kira train. No need to worry, she is like a daughter to me." He winked at me with a smirk.

I felt my cheeks grow red, but thankfully my mask hid it. What an idiot. I just sighed loudly and dramatically. He chuckled. Gaara's eyes slid over to me. I pretended to be busy brushing dirt off my black shorts to notice, but I felt them on me. Burning into my skin. I heard the swish of sand, and when I looked up, he was gone. Just like that. Creepy.

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

Jiraiya smiled and sat down with his legs crossed. "We are going to sit and talk." He motioned for me to sit in front of him. I rolled my eyes and did so. "I've been thinking lately, and there is something that has come to mind that I think would be a good idea to share with you."

I brushed my hair out of my face and hugged my knees to my chest. "And what would that be?"

Jiraiya's eyes closed as he thought, his face turning completely serious. "When you use the elemental forces, you do not create anything out of thin air, if you will. You use what is already there, correct?" I nodded. Where is he going with this? "To use the wind, you simply stir the air around you. To use the water, you use what you have on hand and make it do your bidding. Fire and earth, those two are completely different. The fire isn't there before, is it? And the earth doesn't expand on its own, hm?"

I frowned. "I don't get it."

He shifted a little. "Think back ten or more years ago. When you fought with Iwa at Suna, you learned you could use earth. Those cylinders of earth did not come from the ground, or there would have been big holes. You created them, to an extent. My theory is that you duplicated the molecules in the ground and made those cylinders large enough for your purpose."

"Like I cloned the rock or something?"

"Yes," he said hesitantly. "There was already something there for you to work with, it didn't come from empty space. If you learn to do that without the visual aid, it could become very useful to you. Another thing, if you can use the elements and change them to do what you want them to, what else can you do?" He reached to his side and picked up a stick, holding it long wise over his wrist with the point at his palm. "Could you change this stick into something else? Can you learn to make weapons from scraps around you?"

This got me thinking. If I had an arrow, could I change it enough to make it into a sword? That would definitely make the weight on my body less, not to mention it could confuse the enemy when I hold out an arrow to them without a bow anywhere in sight. I never knew Jiraiya-sama was so smart! Though I guess he would have to be to be a legendary Sannin. What else could I do with my powers?

I took a deep breath and held it for a second. This is going to be a long shot. "Do you think," I paused, knowing this will sound stupid, "I could possibly change myself?" I stared at him hard, waiting for any kind of reaction.

He definitely thought on it. "I think you could. You aren't, again, creating anything out of thin air. You are changing what is already there. Yes, I think with enough practice, you can." He cleared his throat. "But I want you to concentrate on making this stick into a kunai. For now, anyway." Jiraiya placed the stick in my hand and waited. "Take as much time as you need. Just make sure there are no eyes around, other than mine. This will be our little secret," Jiraiya winked at me and in a puff of smoke disappeared.

I sighed loudly. This isn't going to be a simple task. Maybe I should start on trying to figure out how I do it with sand? I looked at the ground in front of me and lifted a chunk out and set it on my hand. I closed my eyes and visioned it changing, growing bigger and bigger. It was suddenly to heavy and crushed my fingers under it as it fell. I gasped with pain and flung the rock away.

Okay, I thought to myself, time to get serious.

I held the stick in both hands, focusing on it. I had visioned the rock when I changed it, so maybe that is what I need to do with this stick. It was only a few seconds before I felt the shaft of the stick smoothing, growing thicker in my hand. Now, what am I going to do about the blade? I searched within the stick but found nothing that would help me.

I tossed the wooden handle on the ground and glared at it. This isn't going to work! I can't make something out of nothing! Jiraiya said so himself! I need to start easier. Something much more simple. I glanced at the piles of snow still hanging around. Snow is water. One in the same. I stared at it hard and concentrated, turning it into a blob of water that floated just above the ground. There. That is one step in the right direction! Now I made the blob bigger, using nothing but what was within its depths. It grew and grew, and pretty soon I felt the beads of sweat forming on my body from the mental strength it took to hold it up.

I raised my hands towards it, moving them this way and that, shaping my creation into the head of a dragon. The dripping teeth, the blazing blue eyes, shiny scales, sharp spikes. It looks perfect, but I know without the ability to control it, my water dragon is completely harmless. We both stared at each other, challenging.

With a huff I let go and watched it splash against the ground. The water splashed over me, soaking into my clothes and sending chills up my back. I sat in the puddle and stared off at nothing. How am I going to do this? How can I save the world all by myself? I am one person. Did I think of that before I came here? No. The thought of Gaara and the twins was to much to give up. Coming here, to this _haven_, was to much. The love story I came up with the ten years I was away. Gaara's and my love story. How romantic it had seemed then.

But now?

Now it seems like it was all a dream. More so now than it ever had.

Waking up next to Gaara this morning was a dream come true for me. But that is just it. A_ dream_. We cannot afford to distract each other. We both have a long way to go before we are ready to fight in this war. Right now, this very second, people are out there fighting and dying. People I never knew, people I will never know their names. They are dying so we can have a chance to perfect ourselves so we can win. I shouldn't be here. I should be out there with them, fighting and killing and protecting those who cannot fight.

That is why I need to figure all of this out. I need to stop the death.

A rock in front of me lifted and flew towards a tree, shattering the bark.

"I hate this," I whispered to myself, grabbing at my hair.

My mind somehow brought up the image of Mika. She was surrounded in flames, screaming as her skin sizzled. I shuddered and pushed the image away. The next one that came to mind was even more frightening, though. The image was blurry at first, but as it took form, showing me its contents, I wanted to peel my skin off just to get away from it.

The picture was of Anne. Anne holding Jessica's hand as they watched the destruction of the world. Fire everywhere, screams of death, the smell of burning hair and flesh. The smell of the dead. The blankness of Jessica's face is what bothered me the most. Like she didn't care. But I know her better than that, it's how I know this image isn't real. It's just a picture

Just an image.

A snapping twig startled me. I whirled around and to my feet, the water from the ground and on my legs was in the air ready to strike upon command. But it was only Naruto. The water fell again, splashing.

"Naruto! Don't ever sneak up on me like that." I sat back down on the ground and tried to slow my heart rate.

He chuckled as he came over, his hands linked behind his head. "I snapped the twig so you would know I was there, silly!" He sat down in front of me with his goofy smile. "Sorry we're late, we couldn't find you."

I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to push away everything I had been thinking. "We?" I did a quick glance around, finding no one.

Naruto's grin widened. "Don't freak out, okay?" A nervousness filled my insides. Naruto looked towards the woods and waved. "Come on out, Youji!" I watched the woods, looking for the smallest sign of movement, but saw nothing. "Oh, come on, Youji! She isn't going to hurt you," Naruto chuckled. "Don't be such a baby!" Of course the name was ironic, since "Youji" means "baby."

I was about to glance at Naruto, but a movement caught my eye. Just then, out of the bushes, came a tiny little head. Big black eyes watched me closely from under bright red eyebrows. My heart skipped, then races. Renjiro!

"Renjiro!" I jumped up, but the head was gone in a flash.

"Wait!" Naruto grabbed my arm before I could run after the little fox. "Kira, Renjiro is dead. He died nine months ago. Youji is his daughter, a runt like him. The youngest. But she is also the smartest, a little shy, but she is very smart. I'm sorry to tell you this. Renjiro is dead, Kira."

My heart contracted and I gasped, loosing the air in my lungs. He's... dead? No. No, Renjiro can't be dead! My little baby! Tears filled my eyes. No, definitely not. Not my Renjiro. Naruto's arms wrapped around my shoulders and he hugged me closely to his chest. Renjiro did so much for me. He was always there, no matter what I said or did. He never left me. But I left him. I abandoned him. And now he is dead. I'll never see his cute little face again. I'll never feel the warmth of his shaggy red fur.

"It's alright, Kira. It's alright," Naruto soothed. "He died of old age, peacefully. Youji stayed with him the whole time, he wasn't alone. It's alright."

I shook my head. No, it's not alright. I should have been there with him. I should have been there to comfort him. I feel so guilty. I haven't even thought of him since I came here. Not once. Why? Why had I forgotten him, out of everyone, why Renjiro? Why does he have to be dead?

"He lived a good life, Kira. When you left us, we didn't see him much. But he brought Youji to us when she was born, and he didn't leave after that. Hinata made a bed for them in our house, they were free to come and go. When he died, he was happy. He had his baby girl and us, and he knew you didn't want to leave him. He knew that." Naruto squeezed my shoulders tighter. "Youji will be with you now, I think he wanted that. He brought her to us so we could train her like you trained him. Come on, Kira, don't cry. Please, don't cry."

Nine months. If I had been here nine months ago, I could have seen him. I could have seen my Renjiro. _Nine months_!

I felt something nudge my leg, and when I looked down, I was looking down into the same eyes that belonged to Renjiro. Youji nudged my leg again, looking up at me with her head tilted. I bent down and pet her, smoothing out her soft fur. She pushed her head against my hands. Its like she knows I'm crying about her father. Like she knows what Naruto was saying and now she is sad. Did Renjiro ever tell her about me? Does she know who I am? I rested my head against her side and continued to cry. She didn't move, she just stood there while I cried. And Naruto watched us with a frown.

My baby Renjiro is gone.

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**Poor baby Renjiro :( How do you think Kira will get along with Youji?**


	15. Getting it Together

**New chapter! :) Enjoy!**

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Chapter 14, Getting It Together.

I stared into Youji's black eyes, seeing the intelligence deep within their black depths. She stared at me straight on, her nose twitching here and there. She was the first to move, her paw moving forward slightly, shifting the checkers piece on the board. Then her eyes took on a smug look. I frowned and looked down at the board.

"As if!" I gasped. "There is no way you beat me three times in a row!" I narrowed my eyes at her. "You cheated..."

Something in her eyes told me I was right. I reached for her, but she bounded off. I could almost hear her laughing. I ran after her, smiling despite myself. I chased her through the woods, jumping from tree to tree after her. But Youji is very fast. I was about to grab her tail when she quickly changed directions, throwing me off guard. I missed a branch and was forced to use wind to keep me from seriously hurting myself with the fall.

She was quickly by my side, licking my cheek and seeing if I was okay. I just laughed and rubbed her head, scratching behind her ear. Just like her father used to love.

"Doe!" came a distant shout.

Youji and I jumped for the closet tree, settling in its thick branches. Then we waited. Soon Temari came along, still calling out my nickname. Youji was gone in a red flash, rubbing up against Temari's legs and circling her feet. I rolled my eyes and jumped down, giving Temari a sorry shrug. How was I supposed to know it was her.

"Gaara and Tsunade-sama want you," she said.

They sent someone? Why didn't Gaara just come himself? He could be here in a second, and be back in the next. I shrugged it off. Temari and I started towards the Hokage tower. When we got there I was a little surprised at what I saw upon entering the office. The whole of Konoha nine was there, along with Kakashi, Guy, Kuranai, Shikamaru's father, Shikaku, Ino's father, Inoichi, and Choji's father, Choza. But the thing that shocked me the most? Everyone is dressed for battle. A hand was put on my shoulder and I looked back to see Kankuro, new war paint lines on his face.

I swallowed hard.

This is it. We are going to battle. My heart squeezed with panic, the thought of "I haven't had enough time to train!" being the first thing to enter my mind. But I quickly pushed it all away. I've done this before. I've fought in a war. This wont be a first for me. But it will be the first time my face is covered and I'm not allowed to use my powers.

I took a deep breath and took one step into the room.

The crowd in front of me parted, everyone's eyes turning to me. I looked every single person in the eye as I walked forward, making sure I remember their faces, the faces of them now. Ten years older. I stopped in front of Gaara and Tsunade, bowing to the both of them. Tsunade's chin lifted slightly, and she looked at me from narrowed eyes.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked.

I looked at her right in the eye as I nodded. I will do what I have to. There is no turning back.

She nodded back to me. "Then this is how it is going to be. Kakashi, Kuranai, and Shikaku, you are the leaders of the teams. Kakashi, you have Naruto, Sakura, Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru. Kuranai, your charge is Hinata, Kiba, and Shino. Guy, you have Neji, Lee, and Tenten. Shikaku, you, Choza, and Inoichi will be a team. Understood?"

"Hai!"

"Team Kakashi will be in the middle, at all times! You must guard them. Sakura and Ino will be the only medics with you, remember that. Team Guy will go in first, along with Team Kuranai. You will scout ahead to find the enemy, the second you find them, report it to the others. Shikaku, Inoichi, and Choza will bring up the rear." Tsunade explained all, giving her orders like a true Hokage. "Along with you will be Temari, Kankuro and the Kazekage. He must be protected as well." Then her eyes turned to me. "You, Doe, will stick with Team Kakashi for most of the time. When Kazekage-sama says it is time, you will leave with him. Understood?"

I nodded, if a little confused.

"You have your orders!" she said loudly. "Good luck to you all, and may your way of Ninja protect you!"

With that we all were racing out and towards the city gates. We stopped there to regroup, putting together who would communicate with who. And where we will place the defenses around our medics.

"Daddy!"

"Daddy, don't leave!"

Everyone turned towards the sounds of the cries to see Yukio and Jessica running towards us at full speed. They raced at Gaara, almost knocking him down with the force of both of them running into him. "Children," Gaara sighed.

"Daddy, please!" Jessica begged, her eyes rimming with tears.

"Daddy, you can't go!" Yukio cried.

"Please don't go!" they cried at the same time.

My heart wanted to break, seeing them like this. They love their father so, so much. They know what war is. They know what death is. But they are still children. They need their father almost as much as he needs them. Gaara bent down and lifted them both into his arms, hugging them tightly. I wish they would run to me like that, begging me to stay. I took a deep breath and looked at the ground. But there is nothing I can do about that. And I won't tell them who I am now, just to leave and never come back. That would be wrong. They've lived without me this far, they don't need me now.

"You need to stay with Baki-sensei," Gaara said, setting them down. "You cannot come with me, either."

Tears spilled on their cheeks. "But, Daddy!" Jessica whined.

Gaara shook his head no. "I don't want to hear it, Jess. You are needed here. You need to finish your schooling. We aren't going to the front lines, so you do not have to worry. When it comes to that, every ninja will be called out to battle. You need to learn as much as you can before then," he explained. "Yukio, take care of your sister. And the same with you Jessica, take care of your brother. I will be coming home, so don't give Baki any trouble." They hugged again and Gaara stood up tall. Jessica and Yukio linked hands, stepping away from their father, trying to hold their head up. "I will be back, don't worry."

Jessica looked over at me. "Make sure she comes back, too, daddy," she said. "Don't let Doe-sensei get hurt."

Gaara met my eyes. My heart swelled with emotion. I bent down in front of Jessica and touched her face tenderly. I smiled my most loving smile and fisted a hand over my heart, trying to tell her I love her. She fisted her hand over her heart, too, smiling back at me. Then her arms were around my neck and I hugged her back.

"Be careful, Doe-sensei," she whispered. "And look after my Daddy, please." I nodded and stroked her hair.

Kakashi stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder. "We need to get moving."

Hinata and Naruto were just saying goodbye to their children, leaving them with Iruka. They were all crying, and poor little Aiko was in hysterics when her father gave her over to Iruka. He nodded to Kakashi and we were ready to leave. I glanced over my shoulder before I started moving, looking at the children we are leaving behind. The next generation of the world. Hopefully there will be a world left for them to protect.

– –

We traveled until dark, then stopped to rest for the night. Youji ended up fallowing us and curled up in my lap as I sat near the fire, trying to keep warm. I didn't exactly have much time to get things ready for this trip. I had jumped into my room after we left Tsunade's office, shoved what I could in a bag, and was out again, sprinting to catch up with the others before they reached the gates. And I didn't grab anything that would keep me warm.

I pulled my bag next to me and started to dig around in it. I was startled when something sliced my finger, making it sting. I stuck my finger in my mouth and reached into the bag with my other hand and pulled out what cut me. I flipped the picture over and stared at the faces for a long two minutes. Then I shoved it roughly to the bottom of my bag. Crap. I grabbed the bag I brought with me from back home. I can't let anyone see in this bag, or they will know. I thought about that again. Maybe not.

Maybe they wont recognize me in the picture. I'm older in it, and look different from what I do now, which is how I looked ten years ago. The picture wasn't taken to long ago. We got it taken when Kaleb was accepted into the army and we found out he would be going to war soon. He is in his uniform. Mom and daddy are sitting in chairs with us standing behind them, Kaleb on the left, me on the right, and Savannah in the middle. Her smile is contagious, even from a photograph. I closed my eyes and thought of her. Like I promised, I've thought of her every single night. Even the night I fell asleep while crying in Gaara's arms. She had been in those thoughts. I wonder what they are doing right now? I wonder if daddy and mom are sitting next to my bedside crying because their baby girl is in a coma. I hope they aren't too heart broken.

But their lives aren't in danger. My babies, Jessica and Yukio, their lives grow more in danger with each second that passes. And that is why I am here. I am here to protect my babies, and other babies to come.

"Doe," Temari's voice jumped me. "I have an extra cloak, take it." She wrapped a thick cloak around my shoulders and put the hood over my head. "Don't worry about it," she winked, making like I said thank you. "Its just an extra." She waved her hand and went back over to the tree she had been leaning against, chatting with Shikamaru.

I watched the two of them for a moment, trying to figure out their relationship. They obviously are not a couple. What happened? Last I knew they were completely in love with each other. But from what it looks like, Shikamaru is smitten with Ino now. And Temari is all alone. And she is not one to be alone for long. So why doesn't she have another man dangling at her fingertips? I made a mental note to ask someone when we are alone. Naruto might know, since he is close to Gaara and everything. And I don't think Gaara would want to talk about his sisters personal life.

It was Hinata who came over to me next, handing me some bread and cheese to eat. "Sorry," she said, "It was all I could grab." I smiled my thanks to her and gratefully took a bite, my hunger suddenly very large.

Kakashi stood on the other side of the fire and called everyone over. Gaara stood at his side, his arms crossed and his eyes on something behind all of us. They look distant. "Tomorrow in the late afternoon we will reach our destination," Kakashi began. "Tomorrow we will split up into groups." His eyes turned to his left, to the first people there. "Shikaku, your team will be our information squad. Anything happens, you run around until you find each and every person until the message is spread." He moved on to the next. "Neji, you will take Tenten and Lee into the village and set up residence in one of the hotels. Once there, convey the hotel name and room number to a member of Shikaku's team."

Neji nodded with a, "Hai."

"Your story will be you are on vacation with your fiance and a friend tagged along. Two rooms, don't draw unwanted eyes." Kakashi moved on to the next. He eyed Naruto and Sakura for a few seconds. "You two will be with me. You are my... children," he gritted his teeth at the word, "and you are taking me home to my house in tea country. I will pretend to be blind." They both nodded, Naruto smirking. "Ino, you will be on your own. You need to find a local job, get a room at the same hotel as Neji, and get as much information about the other forces as you can. Careful not to draw to much suspicion. If you have any trouble, the others will not be far. Shikamaru and Choji, you two will find work as well. But you two will get a room at a different hotel, get as much information as you can."

All of them nodded, but Ino was fidgeting. She is a strong woman, that is why Kakashi gave her that job, I know. I hope Sakura doesn't feel offended.

Kakashi's eye crinkled before he started speaking again. "Kuranai, Guy, you are a wonderful new married couple." Kuranai's eyes almost popped out of her head, her jaw falling open. "Find an apartment, tell someone your location, and be a happy couple." There was a lot of snickering around the group, Naruto and Kiba were almost doubled over with their laughter.

Gaara cleared his throat and waited until things quieted down. "Kankuro, Temari, Doe, with me." That was all he said. A wind blew and Gaara went along with it, the sand taking him.

I smiled at Naruto as I passed, him, and nodded towards the woods. He nodded and sat down next to his wife. I walked towards the trees and moved far enough into the dark woods until I couldn't hear anyone's loud laughter. I sat in a beam of moonshine, where I could see my hands, and began to work. I evolved a small stick with a metal tip into an arrow, then into a wooden handled dagger, then into a large katana with an elegant wooden handle. The blade caught a moon beam and flashed it across my face.

Okay, I've got that piece down. Now on to the next.

I turned the katana into a mirror and looked hard at myself. This is going to be the hard part. Changing myself. I stared at my eyes. That should be the easiest, right? Changing the color of my eyes. I though of Naruto, how clear his eyes are. What a beautiful blue. That's the color I want. I visioned what I wanted in the back of my head and pushed myself towards it. The heat was unbelievable. I gasped with pain, dropping my mirror as I rubbed hard at them.

What was that! I rubbed my eyes harder and harder, trying to rub away the burning. Ah! Why does it burn so bad? I choked on a sob, not able to control it any longer. The burning got hotter and I bent over my legs, the burning so great.

All of a sudden hands were on my shoulders, pushing me up. Then they were pulling my hands away from my face. "Open your eyes," Gaara said urgently. I shook my head, feeling the red hot tears seeping between my eye lids. "Open them," he said again. I tried to, but they wouldn't open. It hurts so much. Gaara's hands were on my face, his fingers taking off my mask and pulling my lids open. He gently blew on my eye until I could open it more and more. Then he switched to the other one. "Does it feel better?" he asked softly, wiping my tears from my cheeks.

I nodded, taking a shuddering breath.

Gaara's hand froze, his eyes a little wide. Confusion swept across his face as he traced the bottom of my eye. "What did you do?" he whispered. I frowned, still blinking fast to keep my eyes cool. The mirror I had dropped rose in front of me, held by sand. I glanced away from him for a brief second, but what I saw made me look back. Both of my eyes were bright, sunny day clear, blue.

It worked!

Along with a great pain, but what doesn't have pain?

I gasped, like anyone would, and grabbed the mirror and held it close to my face, staring wide eyed at the bloodshot blue eyes. I felt the grin growing on my face, I looked up at Gaara with such a big smile his worry smoothed away into a relieved calmness. "It worked," I whispered to him, fearing someone would hear my voice. "It actually worked!"

Gaara's hands dropped from my face and he moved back. "Is this what you have been trying to do?" he asked. "Have you been trying to change yourself the whole time?" Something in his voice made me want to say no. But why should I lie?

"Yes," I answered truthfully.

He nodded, staring off into the dark.

"And it worked," I giggled. "Just think," I said, my mind far off, "I can enter a place without a mask and no one will know who I am." I gasped with realization. "No one will know who I am! It will be perfect to sneak into somewhere! Gaara," I grabbed onto his jacket and looked at him with my mouth hanging open with my smile. "just think what I can do to help everyone now! Only if I could change someone else so I didn't have to go alone..." I frowned and sat back, back in deep thought.

If I can change something not of my body, like the stick, then I should be able to change someone else, right? And I know now I can change body parts. Well, at least eyes. It shouldn't be too hard to change hair color. And then you can just style it differently. Like Sakura. Her hair is long now, all she would have to do it put it up in some way and that would be that! She would be a whole different person. Though, with what her hair color is, if you change it to a normal color, that would be enough in itself. The same with Kakashi. Just tame it in the slightest, and done!

I glanced up when Gaara moved. He crossed his legs and set his hands face up on his knees. "You can practice on me," he said. "Pain does not effect me."

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly. My eyes still burn a little. Who knows what kind of pain he will feel if I try something different than his eyes.

Gaara nodded, his face blank, his eyes blank.

I licked my lips and moved closer to him, crossing my legs as well. I rose my hands, not touching his face, but close enough to feel the heat from his skin. When I finally did place my hands on both sides of his face, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. His skin feels like silk, I thought in the back of my head. I had to mentally restrain myself from running my fingers over his nose and around his lips.

I need to focus, I told myself. Focus.

I took another deep breath and held his face a little tighter, trying to focus. Lets start with his hair. Like Sakura, Gaara's hair stands out the most. What color should I pick, though? Brown like mine maybe? No, that wouldn't look right. I opened my eyes and stared into his, looking for the answer. That's it! I smiled and closed my eyes again, knowing what color to make it. I thought about each strand on his head, the color I want it to become. I felt the heat grow in Gaara's head, but he said nothing. He didn't move.

When I opened my eyes again, it was like a different person was sitting in front of me, but with Gaara's eyes. The top of his head, in stead of the flaming red I loved so much, a mop of shaggy light brown hair is atop his head. I smirked and set about to changing his eye color, making them a different shade of green. Gaara should never be without his green eyes. The more I tried it, the easier it came to me. His eyes changed, and only became slightly bloodshot. And he was able to keep them open the whole time, even though they watered slightly.

"Did it hurt?" I asked in a hushed whisper.

Gaara reached up with one hand and scratched his head. "A little, but not as bad as it hurt you." He rubbed one eye and stared at me hard. "Will it last?"

I frowned, letting go of his face and sitting back. "I don't know. But it take's a lot out of me," I gave him a lopsided grin. "I feel like I could sleep for a week."

Gaara reached up and twirled a strand of hair between his fingers. "Than sleep, I will watch over you. Plans have changed, we will go alone."

I nodded, not able to put up much of a fight. I could already feel sleep pulling at the edges of my consciousness. I was slowly slipping under. I leaned forward and rested my head against Gaara's arm, nodding. And I fell asleep like that, with my forehead resting on Gaara's arm.

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**What did you think? Leave me a review :)**


	16. Pain

**Alrighty! Chapter fifteen is here and ready for you to read :) ENJOY!**

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Chapter 15, Pain.

I woke up to the feeling of flying. A feeling I haven't had since I came to this world the very first time and I was on Gaara's back because I had passed out or something. I slowly opened my eyes as I took a deep breath, looking straight ahead. My whole body locked up, grabbing onto whatever I could.

"Dammit!" I hissed. "Warn me or something next time you do this!" I felt the slight chuckle through Gaara's back. Even though his hair is still a light brown, I know its him. The feel of him hasn't changed.

Gaara dropped to the ground and set me down. "We are on our way to your part of the mission," he told me.

I glanced around, noticing we were alone. Good thing, too, or Temari would have found out who I am. "Where are Temari and Kankuro?"

"They are no longer part of the plan. It is just you and me, Kira." Gaara's tone was heavy, he said it harsher than he needed to, I was just asking a question. I crossed my arms and put all of my weight on my left foot, waiting for him to continue. When he didn't I rose an eyebrow, pursing my lips a little. He still said nothing and just stared at me.

"And what is this plan, all mighty Gaara?" I tilted my head to the side and rose both eyebrows at him.

"Too get you in and out safely," he said. "You and I will enter the village from the other side, where the others have not yet gone. We will find a cheap place to rent, and that will become our temporary home. Meanwhile, I will find my brother and sister and get a job at the same location as them. You," he stepped closer, leaning down to make his full point, "will stay in the apartment and train. I will mask the room so anyone passing by will know nothing. Understood?"

I scoffed and looked away, uncomfortable with how close he got. "What is so special about this town anyway? Why are we here and not closer to the enemy lines?"

When I looked back Gaara wasn't there anymore, he had walked over to a tree and was picking a flower from its vines. "Because this village is the home of a very important person on their side. I'm sure you will no doubt learn of who I speak of very soon." When he looked over at me his face was blank, but I could detect the slightest bit of anger in his eyes. "One more thing, do something about your hair."

I rolled my eyes and changed my hair color, just winging it and hoping it came out like something that looked good. When I was done I looked at Gaara for his approval, but I found myself falling towards the ground. Sand caught me before I could hit.

"Sit down when you practice next time," he ordered.

I sat on the ground and breathed, trying to control my temper and also trying to get my breath back from changing my hair. I reached up and pulled a lock in front of my face and smile at the color. Bronze, the same color as Savannah's hair. Even the texture is perfect. I jumped when loads of cloth was dumped on me.

"Put them on," Gaara said. I looked up to see him taking off his shirt, I couldn't help but stare.

His muscles are defined very well. Each with perfect detail. When he moves, they ripple under his skin, bulging here and there in rhythm. He pulled another shirt on, one that was sleeveless and slightly baggy, making him look more fat than muscular. But with the ways his arms look, anyone could summarize the power he holds. He caught me staring, and I quickly stood and turned my back on him to hide my blush. How can he make me blush with just a look? I shouldn't be embarrassed, but he makes me feel that way!

I held up the clothes he had given me and frowned. Does he really expect me to wear this? I let out a harsh breath and started taking off my uniform. The tight black AMBU clothing is really hard to get off. It sticks to your skin. I almost fell and giggled at one point, waving off the sand that rushed up to keep me standing. I slipped on the dress and zipped it up in the back. The deep blue of it sparkled in the morning light. Okay, at least he has color taste. I fixed the straps over my shoulders and bent down to slip on the knee high boots. If only he knew what it is like to wear these things. I bet he would destroy every single one after!

"Ready!" I turned and made a small pose, then glanced him over. He only changed his shirt. Big difference though. A sand table formed in front of me, holding bottles and brushes.

"You cannot wear the mask, but you cannot wear nothing," he said. "Do something to your face with those." The mirror rose level with my face and I took it, glancing down at the bottles.

Where is my mask anyway? Gaara had taken it last night and I haven't seen it since. What of the others? Do they know where we are? No, they probably just know I've left with Gaara and that is that. I opened the bottles and looked at their contents. This is going to be fun! I took a brush and dipped it in a dark blue color, one that would match my dress, and wiped the paint across my eye lid, bringing it up to a point. I repeated the same on the other side. That is good enough for my eyes, I thought. But then I remembered something. I reached for my bag, that I don't remember bringing with me, and took out my eyeliner, putting thick layers on. There. Now my eyes are done.

But I still need to do something about my cheeks. Kiba has those red triangles, so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary if I have paint on my face. And Kankuro has his war paint, which I'm guessing he has taken off for this mission. A lot of people put paint on their faces. I took the same color blue and put two thick lines of paint across my jaw towards my hairline on the left side of my face. That should be fine, I don't need to repeat the same on the other side. This should be fine.

I looked over at Gaara. I took a different brush, dipped it in a dark brown color and walked towards him saying, "Don't move." He held still for me, like I knew he would. I painted two, natural looking, eyebrows on his face. I smiled and nodded at the result.

Gaara glanced in the mirror and almost rolled his eyes. "You still cannot speak," he reminded me.

"I know."

"And you cannot leave the apartment without me."

"I know."

"You can't use your powers for anything."

"I know."

"And don't talk to anyone if you see them, like Naruto."

I sighed loudly. "Gaara, I _know_. You don't have to go all Kazekage-sama on me. I know what I can and can't do. I know how important this all is."

He grabbed my upper arm, not rough, but with enough force to let me know he is serious. "Anyone you see you know, you cannot talk to them. It is very important, Kira."

"I know," I rolled my eyes. I tried to pull away from him, but his fingers tightened. "Gaara, let go." I glared at him. "I know the rules. I know my role. Let. Go. Of. Me." He finally let go, but he didn't move away. I turned my back on him and went about fixing my hair, twisting it this way and that and clipping it up with a few clips I had in my bag.

When I was done, also when I was calm enough to face him again, I turned and looked at him, nodding towards the woods. He nodded and lead the way, carrying my backpack over his shoulder. We walked maybe a mile, my feet were screaming at me way before we go to that mark, when we came upon a road. Gaara slowed to walk by my side as we walked down the dirt road, heading towards a village just below us in the valley.

I came to a stop and bent down to massage my ankle. He is so going to pay for making me walk so far in these things. Women always pretend it doesn't hurt, we wear them all the time! But the truth is, they hurt more than getting stabbed in the heart a thousand times over and living through it all. Yes, that is how much pain we women go through to look cute. Men just don't understand.

I stood back up straight and stretched my arms over my head. Another thing is this dress. It is cute, but terrible to walk in. It's hot, tight which makes it hard to walk in, and I have to hold it up so it doesn't drag in the dirt. At least I have my hair up. That might be the only good thing right now.

"Are you all right?" Gaara asked.

I took a deep breath and let it out harshly, putting my hands on my hips. "You are going to have to carry me. I already have blisters the size of your fists." Gaara frowned and looked down at his hand, making a fist. His face paled slightly. I couldn't help the smirk that tugged at my lips. He can be such a child sometimes. When he looked back up at me, I held my arms up like a little kid would do when they want to be picked up.

Gaara walked over to me and put one arm around my back and the other under my legs and lifted me into the air. I put one arm over his neck and held on to his shirt with my other hand. With the pressure off my feet I can now think without the bothersome pain trailing everything I did. I smiled wistfully and wiggled my feet. No more pain! At least until he has to set me down, that is.

When we entered the village Gaara set me down, the pain back almost immediately, and we talked over where we would look for a place to stay. I've never been to this village before, and neither has he, so we decided to look for a motel room until we found a place of reasonable cost. Plus, that's what normal people do, right? They just don't jump into something. So we ended up getting a room at the same place as the others. I saw Kankuro and Temari the moment we walked in. Seems they had the same idea, too. But they didn't recognize us, which is good. And Gaara said nothing to them.

"How can I help you?" the girl at the desk asked. Her smile was too fake.

Gaara glanced over at me, then looked back at her. "We are new in town and need a room. I don't know how long we will need it, we are looking for a place of our own."

The girl smiled brighter and nodded, looking down at the book in front of her. "Would that be one bed or two?" Her eyes glanced me up and down and returned to Gaara.

"One," he said without a bat of an eyelash. I looked down at my feet willing myself not to blush at such an obvious statement. I think we need to have a talk about his bluntness. Normal people would say, "My wife and I can share a bed." Then you have the whole "wife" word in there. But no, big dummy here doesn't even say that much.

I was stopped cold. Wife? Did I really just think that? Hell! We could be brother and sister for all this girl knows! But wife? That would mean we were married... and one bed at least signals we are messing around! I groaned on the inside and closed my eyes. This is going to be a long, long, mission.

"And can I get your name, sir?" Okay, this girl is starting to annoy me. It's obvious she thinks Gaara is hot, and she isn't even trying to hide it in front of me. How does she know I'm not his wife?

"My name is-" he cleared his throat, probably remembering he can't give his real name. "My name is Anzai Jiro."

She nodded and wrote it down. "And your daughters name?" My jaw dropped. What a bitch! If what we are doing wasn't so gosh darn important I would reach over that desk and smack her silly! How young does she think I am!

Gaara put his arm over my shoulders and pulled me a little closer. "My Fiance's name is Kumiko Ai. Soon-to-be Anzai Ai." I smirked and put my arm around Gaara's waist. Yeah, that's right, girl!

But another cold chill swept over me. Fiance. Wife. Attachment to someone I've been longing for? Yep, this is going to be a long mission, indeed.

– –

"Quick thinking," I said after Gaara put of the barrier of sand. No one will be able to hear us now. "With the names."

He shrugged and went over to the window. "We will have to keep up our roles. It is important. And I need to see Temari and Kankuro."

I kicked off my shoes and laid down on the bed, stretching out. "Just come here and let me change your hair back, I don't want them knowing I have this power. You weren't even supposed to know, but I guess that part has been blown." But I rolled over and snuggled against one of the pillows. I'm so tired, I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. I sighed lightly and smiled, snuggling even closer to the pillow.

I heard Gaara sit down in one of the chairs on the other side of the room before I fell asleep.

And what a blissful sleep it was.

When I woke I woke to an empty room. No Gaara in sight, but all of the barriers were still intact. I decided to take a shower. My hair looked horrible when it came out of all the tiny braids I had put it in. I took a quick shower a redid my hair when I was done. I slipped on a different dress I found in my bag and put on some flat sandals. I'm glad he got the hint about the shoes.

I was just about to walk out the door when it opened and in came Gaara. "We need to talk," he said, shutting the door.

I sighed dramatically and sat down on the bed. Great, and I thought I could explore for a little while by myself. Guess that isn't going to happen! "What?"

Gaara crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the window to the side. "I talked with Kankuro. Everyone else is in place by now. It's just us that need to get set up."

"Did you see him looking like that!" I stood up and yelled at him. "Gaara! I told you not to. This is supposed to be a secret! I can't _believe _you went behind my back and saw him. Now everyone is going to know about my power. Didn't I say I wanted it to be kept secret!"

"Just like you never wanted to tell anyone you were alive?" His voice was quiet, but it was like a slap in the face. I fell backwards on the bed, the breath rushing out of my lungs. "I didn't say or show anything." Sand swept around the room, coming off the walls and wrapping around Gaara. The next thing I knew I was staring at my red headed green eyed muscle man. He turned his head so that even his Kanji was visible. I hadn't noticed it was hidden before. The sand shifted again and went back to the walls, filling in the holes it created. Even the Kanji disappeared.

"That's not fair," I whispered, still a little breathless. "You have no right to use that against me."

Gaara spun on me so fast I flinched backwards, throwing my arms up in front of my face. But he didn't stop. He grabbed my arms roughly and pulled me to my feet. "I have every right to use that!" he yelled. "You left me behind to raise the twins _alone_! You were gone for ten years, leaving me with them. Leaving everybody behind! And suddenly your back? And you don't tell anyone?" He let go and pushed me backwards, making me fall back on the bed. Fear froze me. "Those kids cry themselves to sleep sometimes, wondering why their mother didn't love them enough to stay! They come to me, pleading me to tell them stories about the mother they never knew. And you don't want them to _know your here_? What kind of mother are you?"

I dragged in a breath of air, my jaw moving uselessly. His words sting, but the fear numbs it. Have I ever been this afraid before in my life? Yes. Yes, I was afraid like this once. It was when Sasori was after me that night all my friends were slaughtered. That is where I've felt fear like this. I pulled my knees up towards my chest and tried to breathe, but it didn't help. How is Gaara doing this? This isn't him. This isn't the Gaara I know. I choked again, coughing and sputtering on air. I can't fill my lungs. It hurts. I clawed at the blankets, trying to move away from him.

"And you think I have no right to say that!" Gaara grabbed my ankle and pulled me back, yanking me into a sitting position and holding my shoulder with a tight, very painful, grip. "I spent ten years thinking you were dead," he hissed in my face. "_Ten years_. Do you even realize how long that is!"

I shoved at his chest, still trying to breathe, but I couldn't do either.

"Do you understand how much pain you put me through! Do you get what it was like seeing you die? Seeing you take your last breath? Listening to the cries _every night_ of the children you bore? Seeing the sadness on every face I passed? You were_ everywhere_. I couldn't get rid of you! Do you know what that was like!" He shook me, and that was when I got the breath to scream.

I screamed and smacked him hard across the face, scrambling over the bed and falling to the floor on the other side. "Stay away!" I screamed when I saw him move to come around the bed. "Stay away from me!" It was then I realized I was crying. I crawled across the floor and balled up in the corner of the room, hugging my knees as I watched him with wide eyes. "Stay away," I whispered. I kept whispering it, over and over. I couldn't make myself stop.

The sand dripped from the ceiling and Gaara was gone.

I bit and screamed into my arm, trying to contain myself.

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	17. Recall

**I am getting good at updating quickly, huh? :D Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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Chapter 16, Recall.

I woke with a jerk and looked around me, my heart racing. Then I spotted him. Sitting in a chair with his eyes closed and his head down. I silently got up and went into the bathroom, fixing my hair and washed my face, reapplying the paint. Then I slipped out the door without a sound, grabbing my backpack on the way. I can't be around him. Not right now.

I walked out of the building with a nod to the person at the front desk and took a left outside. I walked down the middle of the street, weaving in and out of crowds of people and trying not to step on anyone's feet. My hip is starting to throb again. I thought that had gone away. Guess not.

Something yellow caught my eye and I glanced over to see what it was. Ino. Ino working in a outdoor flower stand. Of course, should have known. Since her family owns a shop, it should have been my first guess as to where she would work. I walked over to listen to her conversation with Shikamaru. I pretended to smell each flower and observe the colors.

"...are coming in to give us the information tonight," Shikamaru was saying.

Ino nodded. "Then we will have to get everyone together." So we are communicating tonight. I will need to be there. I'll grab my mask later and head out to the meeting. "What about Sakura, Kakashi, and Naruto? No one has seen them yet. What are we going to do about that?"

They haven't been seen yet? They should have already been here. That's not right. They have to be here somewhere. Well, I have a mission now. I picked up a flower, pulled a few coins out of my bag, ones Tsunade-sama gave me, and walked over to Ino, smiling as I handed her the coins. She smiled her thanks and turned back to Shikamaru. When I passed her I grabbed a small paper and pen, wrote words on the back and tossed it over my shoulder, quickly disappearing in the crowd.

I wasn't far enough to hear what they said, though.

"What does it say?" Ino asked.

"'I'll find them. -Doe.'" Shikamaru grunted. "That woman is so mysterious. I didn't even see her."

I smirked and kept walking.

– –

I scratched the back of my neck. This is impossible. Where are they? I'm at the eastern side, where they were supposed to enter. Okay, they aren't in sight here. I checked all of the closest motels and hotels, still haven't found them. Though, I have to admit, I don't know what names they are going under. I just explained, on paper, the scenario they are using. But no one has seen them. I scratched my neck again and looked around me. I've seen every other person, but not those three.

And, the best part, the sun is going down.

Which means I will have to return to the room to get my mask if I plan on going to that meeting tonight. I suppose I will have to face him sooner or later. Even if I wish it was later. I can't believe he did that to me. And I don't think he realizes just how much he scared me. I actually thought he was going to physically hurt me. Gaara has changed to much. Far to much. He is a completely different person than the one I knew.

Yes, ten years ago Gaara hurt me. He physically attacked me, I remember it well. But never like that. He never hurt me or scared me like he did yesterday. Nothing has ever scared me so much.

Something yellow caught my eye.

I stood on my tippy-toes to try and see over the crowd. There! It's Naruto! I pushed past everyone and, remembering what I look like, ran up to a stand and admired a necklace with much animation. I watched them from the corner of my eye. Naruto's hair was down, somewhat tame. His arm was over Kakashi's back, who was stooped over like an old man. I could see the well-hidden amusement on Sakura's face as she followed them, her hair dyed brown. Relief flooded over me. At last, I know everyone is safe. I need to let them know about the meeting tonight.

The flower in my hand caught my eye. What a pretty color. An idea formed in my head. I motioned to borrow a pen and paper from the girl behind the stand and wrote down a quick message, one that someone wouldn't understand if it wasn't those three. They all know who I am, so I'm not to worried. I folded the paper up small and stuck it in the flowers petals. I ran over to the three of them with a big smile and stuck out the flower towards Kakashi.

He smiled up at me with his dark lazy eye, his hair looking funny down straight against his head. He had no need to use dye. "Why thank you little lady," he winked. I blushed and looked at my feet. I did a quick girly curtsy and ran off like any little girl would.

Maybe having a body that is ten years younger than the rest of me will work out well.

With that done, I have nothing left than to go back to the room and fix myself so I can go to the meeting.

Gaara was still sitting in the chair when I entered, but his eyes were open and looking out the window. He didn't say anything when I walked in, tossing my bag on the bed. I climbed into the middle of the bed and took a deep breath, focusing on my hair. I changed it back to my dark brown color. I was going to change my eye color back, but decided they wont be able to see my eyes that well anyway. So I left them their bright blue color. When I opened my eyes up, my mask was floating on a bed of sand in front of me. I took it gingerly, without looking up at him.

I wiped the paint off on my sleeve and put my mask in place. I got off the bed and began to dress in my ANBU outfit. Once I put my gloves on, Gaara signaled it was time to go. Sand started to wrap around me, but I quickly waved it off, walking towards the door. I shut it behind me, knowing he wouldn't follow on foot. I stealthily moved down the hall to the window, glanced around outside, and slipped out, darting from shadow to shadow.

– –

"There you are!" Naruto huffed. He came over and slapped both me and Gaara on the back. "Took you long enough."

I smirked and slapped him back, almost knocking him over with the force.

He cringed and moved away, holding his lower back. "Point taken." His voice was strained.

I laughed to myself, putting a hand on my hip and making a little satisfied pose. Of course, after a hit like that even an idiot bigger than him would get it. I glanced over everyone, now wearing their ninja outfits, whereas earlier they had been in normal clothing. I smirked when I saw Kakashi. The hair-do he had earlier is enough to make anyone smirk at him for the rest of his life. How did Sakura get him to allow her to straighten it? Maybe that is why they were so late. He really is in love with her, I have no doubts anymore. Just seeing them standing there, his arm over her shoulders and her arm around his waist. The way they look at each other. Its a wonder they can hide it enough for this mission. Though, the amusement I saw in Sakura's eyes this afternoon can hide any other emotion from eyes that aren't prying.

Shikamaru cleared his throat. "We are just waiting for my dad and his team before we can start."

Right on cue, Shikaku, Inoichi, and Choza jumped down from the building above. "Just as a heads up," Choza said, "we are not the only ninja's here. Be on your guard at all times."

Everyone nodded and turned their attention to Shikaku. He leaned against the wall and surveyed each of us in turn. "Tsunade contacted us via the Yamanaka clan. Inoichi here relayed the message. Hokage-sama is having a little bit on an issue. She needs Shino, Kiba, Ino, Lee, Guy, and Neji. You must return immediately. No questions, please." Shikaku held his hand up at Kiba. "These are the Hokage's orders." Kiba gritted his teeth, but remained silent.

Choza was the next to talk. "Today alone we have seen three of the suspected enemies here." He counted off on his fingers. "We know no names, but I will describe them. The first is male, long greenish yellow hair, very pale. Is living near your hotel," he said this to Tenten. "Be careful. Without Neji around you will be alone." She nodded, but I could tell his bothered her a little. "Anyone who is losing a companion tonight will be watched carefully. No need to fear."

Inoichi was next. "Another Ino brought to our attention. This man is very obvious. He is big, strong, tall, and gloats. He is bald, usually wears no shirt, though I have seen him with a black tank top on. He is near where Hinata and Naruto are." They both nodded.

Shikaku closed his eyes, crossing his arms. "The next is female. She will be easy to spot. Copper colored hair, bright blue eyes. And she had two paint lines on her cheeks. We saw her today wandering about, looking for someone. If you see her, be careful. She could be very dangerous."

My heart skipped a beat. Shit. Shit, shit, shit! That's _me_ they are talking about! I sighed inwardly. Great. Now I'm going to have to change my look a little. Maybe use blond hair? Or a outrageous color like Sakura's? I don't think using pink would be smart, though. I knocked all thoughts from my head. Not the time and place to decide this. I just shifted my stance, crossing my arms.

I was a little startled when he looked directly at me. "Tsunade left some special instructions for you, Doe. She made Inoichi write them down and asked him not to allow anyone else to see it." He motioned to Ino's father. Inoichi handed me a folded up paper. "Read it when you get back to wherever you are staying." I nodded and tucked the paper down into my suit, making sure it is secure next to my chest. "Is there anything you would like to say?" he asked, looking at Gaara. Gaara shook his head.

After the meeting ended Gaara and I went back to the room, taking a round about way to it trying to make sure no one followed us or saw us enter the building. I quickly stripped off my mask and unbuckled the protective plates on my chest. I tossed both on the floor and sat heavily down on the bed as I fished the letter out of my shirt. I unfolded it and began to read.

_I know you got this letter, so I wont even bother asking you to send word you go it. The boys are good about this stuff. _

No names, no reference about anyone else. Tsunade knows how to play it safe. If this letter ever got into the wrong hands by accident, we could all be in trouble.

_I'm sure by now you know I asked a few to return to me. There is reason to this. A wind has picked up at home and a few windows have already been broken by the stones tossed up._

Iwa has attacked Konoha. She needs reinforcements. That is why the others are being sent back. Crap.

_But don't worry, we will get the windows fixed before you return from vacation. My grandchildren are doing fine, don't worry, and baby girl is practicing hard and becoming stronger. Both of them are excited about this storm coming. They are rearing to go. Tell big man not to worry that they are safe and I will take care of them._

I snorted. Like I'm talking to him right now. I shoved that away from my mind and continued reading, noticing how smooth her words are.

_We all miss you. Be careful of the storm, it might hit where you are. Be safe!_

_-Grandma_

I sighed and set the letter down next to me, putting my chin in my hand and leaning on my knee. Why only tell me why they are being sent back? Why tell me about the kids? Yes, they are my babies. But she knows how hard it is for me to be near them, to think about them. My bond with Jessica is becoming stronger and stronger, but I still feel pain whenever I'm around her. But I love her. I love her and her brother _so much_.

I sighed again and laid back on the bed. This all is so complicated! And to make things better, I have to find a new disguise. One that the woman at the desk wont notice all to much. It will be better when we find an apartment, because then I can change my look and no one would notice too much. But I also can't just disappear. Now they are looking for me, keeping their eye out. I have to do something that will get them off my tail and follow those who need to be followed.

I rolled over to my stomach and crossed my arms under my head, making a sort of pillow. My legs hung off the edge. "Nothing is ever easy," I muttered to myself.

And it is very true! Everything in my life has been complicated. Like I live in some damn soap opera or something. Every single thing I do has hidden crap underneath that causes some stupid reaction to a different problem that arises. Why does it have to be like this? Why can't my life be simple? I'd even take mildly simple!

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Things are going to have to change. Mom and Daddy always told me I could pick the course my life took when I was I kid. I believe them. Maybe, just maybe, if I try hard enough I can change things and push them in the direction I want them to go.

After all,

this is my dream.

– –

I fell asleep at some point and when I woke up everything was packed and set on the bed next to me. I stared at the paper in my hand, letting it go and watching it fall to the floor. Why is everything packed? Correction, why is everything packed except my clothes? I sat up on the bed and stared at the neatly folded pile. I glanced over at the bathroom door as it opened.

Out came Gaara with only a towel around his waist.

I let my breath out slowly and crossed my arms, feeling a slight chill. "Why is everything packed?" My throat is scratchy. Did I cry while I was sleeping? I hope not... That wouldn't be okay at all.

Gaara grabbed a bag and headed back towards the bathroom. "I found a place last night. We move in today."

I glared at the shut door. Thanks for telling me! I stood and walked over to the mirror, thinking how much of a mess I am. Dark circles under my eyes, my skin pale and sickly looking. My cheek bones stick out a little, my chin looks a little sharper. I look really tired. I look like someone who hasn't slept in years. Being underground for ten whole years is enough to do that to someone. Plus all of the stress I'm under. God, my body is only eighteen and it looks fifty! Oh _God_! I look as old as Jiraiya!

I snickered lightly to myself. If only he knew what I was just thinking. He would probably go on and on and on and on about how just because you look a certain age, doesn't mean you are that age. Well, isn't that the truth. I do not look like a twenty-eight year old woman. I look like a child. A... really old child, right now. I massaged my face, trying to clear my head. I sighed heavily and reached down for my eyeliner, noticing it wasn't there. Damn him for putting my stuff away!

I stalked over to my bag, dug around until I found it, then stalked back over to the mirror and applied it. I put the blue lines across my cheek and started on my hair. I was almost done when he came out of the bathroom. I didn't look up. I twisted a braid and pinned it to my head. When I finally got it to be acceptable, I turned and grabbed my clothes off the bed and marched into the bathroom, shutting the door firmly. I stripped, washed up a little, and dressed in the clothes. Not at all suspecting what I was putting on.

A half shirt, and a skirt with black shorts to go underneath. I gritted my teeth together and concentrated on the color of my hair as I pulled the skirt on over the shorts. I stumbled only slightly from the dizziness when I finished. I glanced in the mirror to make sure I was set, not liking the look of my pale stomach, and left the bathroom. Gaara was just lifting the bags on his shoulder. I slung my bag over my own shoulder and walked over to the mirror, checking my makeup one last time before I headed to the door.

Gaara followed like an obedient dog, knowing he did wrong.

Outside, I let him follow, not knowing where we were going. While he checked out at the front desk, I walked out the door and stood in the sunshine, breathing in the sweet clean clear air. I took another deep breath and let it out slowly, opening my eyes to look around. Every one is about and bustling, even this early in the morning. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ino, handing flowers to someone, watching me from the corner of her eye.

I walked over to one of the food stalls across from me and picked out something to eat, handing the man some money from my bag. When Gaara came out I handed him one and we set off, keeping our backs to Ino. I bit into my apple and licked up the juices, not wasting any of it. I took another bite and surveyed the people around us. Little kids playing ball in an alley, teen age girls laughing together in a group heading somewhere. Teenage boys watching them go, smirking to themselves.

Life. Life is going on around us.

What happens if the Mob attacks here, though? It will all end. They won't be living their lives, they will be trying to protect it. To get back to what they had before. War is a horrible thing. I've seen the pictures of wars from back home, the ones that happened in my world. Are they worse? Are they better? Could they be the same? No. They are the same. People die. People are killed. No matter how you look at it, war is war. There isn't a better war or a worse war. People still die. They never look upon this earth again.

I glanced down at my feet. Something caught my eye.

My tattoos.

Konoha and Suna. Their symbols as bright as day. Maybe Ino saw them, maybe that is why she was staring. Does she think I am on their side now? Maybe. Probably not. Konoha and Suna, my homes. Suna, destroyed. Konoha, on the verge of destruction. I pray the others will be able to save it. I can't lose three of my homes. First Suna, then New York. Don't let Konoha be thrown into that mix. I don't think I could bare it. I am here to protect Konoha. To protect the people within her walls.

And everyone else who is innocent.

What I am doing here with these people, then? Why did Tsunade send me with them? I should be on the mountain training, building my strength up for the battle. Why did she want me to go with them? I sighed and kicked a small rock, watching it skip through peoples legs and under a cart. These people need protection, too. But I cannot help them. I cannot reveal myself at this moment.

When, though? When can I?

When Tsunade-sama tells me to? No. It is my decision. I will decide. I will decide and I will not regret anything. From this moment onward, I refuse to regret anything I do. I will not regret my fear of Gaara. I will not regret my decision to stay hidden. I will not regret my decision to tell Sakura she is retarded for dating such an old man.

I couldn't help but smirk at that last thought. Kakashi is a little ugly with his hair straight like that. Old. Grandpa, comes to mind.

I will not regret my decision to call him Grandpa from now on, either.

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	18. An Old Acquaintance

**Extra long chapter for you all! :) Enjoy**

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Chapter 17, An Old Acquaintance.

Gaara lead the both of us to an apartment building, and up the stairs to the top floor. Third floor, to be exact. Three flights of stairs up to this hell hole of a place. Run down, dirty, sticky, and I think I just saw a mouse run across the floor. I stepped farther into the room and looked around, already not liking being here. I glanced back at Gaara, giving him a "Are you serious?" look. He shrugged, squeezed past me and walked over to a door on the left wall, entering.

I followed him, making sure I didn't step on any mouse doo-doo on my way. I glanced in the room, saw the big king sized bed, and sighed. This weeks is going to be a wonderful one! I turned around and walked over to the small kitchen area, glanced around it a little, then walked to the only other door in this small room. It's a small bathroom, with only a standing shower. No bathtub. Great. Perfect. I'm loving this place.

I shut the door roughly and put my hands on my hip. Men should _never _pick out living areas. Ever. Ever, never, ever. The least he could do is get me a damn tub. I put my hands on my hips, something I've been doing a lot of lately, and surveyed the mess as a whole. This is going to take a lot of work to make it livable. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if my home wasn't so clean I could see myself in my floor, and the fact that I started hating to be dirty since I woke up from my Dream.

I tossed my bag onto the run down couch and headed for the door. I grabbed a spare key, that was hanging on a key hook by the door, and walked out, my money heavy in my pocket.

A few hours later I returned, a whole bunch of items threatening to fall at any moment. And, to make things better, the door is locked! I struggled to get my key out, to open the door, but almost dropped everything, starting to tip backwards. But someone caught me, caught my items before they hit. I stumbled and stood straight, turning to thank him. But the yellow hair and blue eyes surprised me.

"Whoa there, you okay?" Naruto asked, his teeth bright under his tan skin.

Great.

I nodded, opening my door before I accepted my items back from him. I smiled my thank you and turned to enter the apartment.

"Do you need any help?" he asked, sticking his foot in the door before I could fully shut it.

I shook my head, giving him another smile. But he just opened the door more and peeked in. "Looks like you have a lot of cleaning to do. My sister is still working on ours. You think they would clean these places before they rent them out, huh?" He laughed at himself.

Someone cleared their throat behind us. I turned to see Gaara standing there. "Ai, is there a problem here?" His voice was more raspy than before. At least he is trying to hide who he is. Good.

I dropped everything in my hands and lunged at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and rubbing my nose against his with a big smile. I shook my head no. Thank goodness I am a good actress! Gaara set me back on the floor and put his hand on my lower back, but didn't break the hold I had on his neck. With my body plastered against his I looked over at Naruto, giving him a sheepish smile.

Naruto put his hands up. "No problem here, sir! I was just helping the lady. She was going to drop her things. I'm your neighbor, just across the hall. I'm here with my Grandpa and sister. We are staying longer than we thought and thought this would be cheaper than staying at a hotel, you know?" He smiled brightly and scratched the back of his head.

I put my face against Gaara's chest, feeling how Naruto is trying to study us. Me especially. I took a deep breath and hugged him closer, trying to give a hint to Naruto to leave. He is still Naruto, though, and doesn't get small hints all to well. Gaara stepped in the room and glanced around, glanced at the mess I made when I dropped everything on the floor. He looked down at me, still plastered against him, and lifted my chin.

"Go fill the buckets and we will start cleaning." He bent down and kissed my forehead. I nodded and picked up the four buckets I bought from my cleaning supplies and headed towards the kitchen sink. "I think it is time for you to go," he was saying to Naruto.

I filled two buckets by the time the door was shut. I set the two filled ones on the floor next to me and set the third one under the water to fill. I glanced over my shoulder at Gaara, who is standing there staring at me with an odd expression. One that I'm having a hard time reading. Though I'm not surprised. He has changed so much that I've been having a hard time reading him since I first came back. I turned my attention back on the filling bucket.

"Don't let that go to your head," I said, lifting the bucket out of the sink and setting it on the floor. "I still don't want you touching me."

When the last bucket was full I picked up two of them and brought them over towards the door, setting them down. Then I grabbed a brush from my pile of cleaning supplies and got to work scrubbing the floor. Not long after I glanced over my shoulder and saw Gaara down on his hands and knees with a different brush, scrubbing the other side of the room. Another brush worked along with him, controlled by sand. Lazy, I thought.

It wasn't long until my back ached and my arms screamed for rest. But I kept going, knowing this is good physical training on my body. By the time the sun was gone and it was dark enough to use lamps we were almost done washing the floor, moving around each other trying to clean the last bits of floor. I was about to move on to the bathroom to scrub it clean when there was a knock on the door. I stood, wiping sweat from my face and walked towards it, opening it up to, yet another, surprise.

"Hungry?" Sakura beamed at me. She held up a baking dish full of, what looks like, some kind of stuffed pasta. It smells so good my belly growls just smelling it. She laughed and entered, careful to take off her shoes when she saw Gaara still cleaning and went over to the kitchen to set it down. "I made extra thinking you would be to busy to make anything to eat. I'm glad I was right!" She turned around and smiled big at me. "I brought over forks, too. Just return it all when you are done. Have a good dinner!" She slipped her shoes back on, but turned with a sheepish smile. "Oh, sorry! I'm that blonde dolts sister. My name is Sayuri. If you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask, okay?" She smiled once more before she left, shutting the door behind herself.

I grabbed a fork and was about to take a big bite when a hand quickly grabbed my wrist. I started and lashed at Gaara, shoving him away from me. "I said don't touch me," I whispered, my heart still pounding.

He seemed to ignore me. "Always check the food before you eat it."

I rolled my eyes. "It's Sakura, for goodness sake!"

He just rose a brow at me. I shifted under his look, silently agreeing with him. Sakura could make an almost undetectable poison or sleeping medicine and slip it in anything. And I'm "under watch" by our friends. I have to be careful. "I will eat some first. If anything happens to me, you know not to eat it. Wait a half hour." He took a big bite of the food, then another, and another.

My stomach growled louder. I swear he only said that so I wouldn't eat it all on him.

– –

That night I slept on my nice clean floor wrapped up in a blanket. There was no way I was about to try sleeping on that nasty bug infested bed. Gaara, being all cool like, made himself a hammock and slept comfortably all night. Didn't think about asking me if I would like one. So when I woke in the morning, my whole body felt like rocks. My hips hurt, my knees hurt, my back hurt, my neck hurt. I felt like a really old lady complaining.

But there wasn't anything anyone could do, so I started stretching, trying to get all the knots out of my muscles.

There was another knock at the door, just as I was finishing stretching. Gaara answered it. This time, it was both Naruto and Sakura, both with large smiles and their hands behind their backs.

"Good morning!" they said simultaneously. Then Sakura peaked around Gaara at me. "Oh, dear!" She slipped past him and knelt next to me, her hands going to my back. "Are you alright?" she asked. I nodded, but couldn't help flinching when she touched a really soar part on my back. "Here, let me get these knots out for you."

And then I was in heaven for two seconds flat before Gaara was pulling me to my feet. "Ai is fine, but thank you for your concern. We had to sleep on the floor last night, that is all." I put my arms around his waist and smiled at Sakura, wishing he would let her massage my back. But I know she shouldn't. What is she uses her power and I have no way of stopping her this time? Yeah, I'd be screwed.

Sakura stood up, looking like a reprimanded child. "I'm sorry, I was only trying to help."

I reached out and touched her arm, giving her a gentle smile. She smiled back.

"I have food!" Naruto said loudly, walking in and bringing it over to the kitchen counter. "Sakura said you didn't have anything last night, so we also knew you wouldn't this morning."

I smiled and skipped over to him, taking a fork from his hand and taking a big bite of the french toast. I smiled, in heaven, and took another bite. But then I stopped up short. French toast? I had to try twice to swallow what was in my mouth. I taught them how to cook this. Before, I mean. Before I woke up. I pretended to taste it a little more, then gave him a questioning look. But the look in Naruto's eyes said he already knows who I am. I licked my lips, taking the last of the evidence from them.

"You really need to be careful," Sakura sighed. "I swear, some times I think you are more stupid than Naruto has ever been."

I glared at her. The door swung open and in hobbled Kakashi, shutting the door behind himself. "Well you aren't that convincing, either," I said. Kakashi stood up straight and looked at me with a raised brow. There was a patch over his Sharingan eye.

"What?"

I couldn't help but laugh. And, slowly, Sakura and Naruto started laughing. Kakashi just flipped his hair back over his shoulder, popping his hip to the side. I held my stomach trying to contain my laughter. He is such a... a... I don't even know what! I shook my head and took another bite of the food.

After we all had something to eat, Sakura helped me kill all of the bugs in the bed and clean it up. We went out together and bought some sheets and blankets and she helped me make it. We had seen Shikamaru out at the market, but he didn't come over. Gaara and Naruto went out to look for jobs that afternoon, leaving me, Sakura, and Kakashi to hang around for awhile. We sat in my apartment, where Gaara's ward was still strong, and talked things over. Neither, thankfully, asked how I managed to change my hair color and eye color. They didn't ask me about Gaara's change, either.

When it started getting late the two of them returned to their own apartment for a little alone time before Naruto returned to ruin everything. I wonder if he is out there right now with Hinata instead of looking for a job. I grabbed a light jacket from my bag and headed out to buy some groceries to make supper with. I walked down the street and surveyed the night life. People are out and about almost as much as during the day.

I remember back in Suna everyone hid once it got this late. They hated the cold. But no matter how hot it got during the middle of the day, they were always outside. Rarely would people stay inside during the day. It's different here. It's different now. With everyone in Konoha they have to readjust to the climate. It stays around the same temperature until the season changes. The winter had to be awful for them, being in the cold all the time. But maybe this is good, too. They can go outside at night without completely freezing to death. And they can look at the stars.

"Watch it!" someone yelled, shoving me.

I caught myself before I fell over, throwing a glare at the man. I continued on my way, not allowing myself to sink so deeply into my thoughts. They definitely aren't as friendly here, that's for sure. I took a deep breath and looked up at the stars. It's a beautiful night, tonight. Bright stars and a big moon.

The moon. The same moon I fell in love with Gaara under. The same moon I returned to this world under. The same exact moon Gaara and I would sit under all night together.

No, Kira, I told myself. That was ten years ago. There is no going back, you know this! I mentally shook myself and continued walking until I found a small store that had fair prices for food. I stocked up on a few things I thought we would need and headed back to the apartment. But, of course, I cannot have one uneventful walk. Ever.

"Hey, girly!" A guy grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. I pulled away and stepped back, glaring at him. "You bumped into me earlier, I think you owe me an apology." He is pretty tall, thick muscles and a stubbly beard. "You hear me? I think you should say you're sorry."

I shrugged and tried to backup a little, trying to get away from him. I don't want to do this right now.

But, with my amazing luck, he reached out and grabbed me again, making me drop my bag of food. "I said, I think you should say you are sorry!" he hissed in my face. I turned my head away from him, closing my eyes tightly. "Say you're sorry!"

"Mamoru!" came a girls voice. The man, Mamoru, jerked me as he let go, knocking me down. "Mamoru, what do you think you're doing?" A slim girl pushed past him and helped me to my feet with a smile. "Are you okay? I hope this big dult didn't hurt you."

I nodded and brushed myself off.

The girl tucked some dark orange hair behind her ear and bent down to pick up my bag. "He is a jerk, but I love him!" she laughed and smiled brightly.

I scoffed and accepted my bag from her. That was when I caught the real first look at her face. More tanned than when I last saw her. And her hair is much longer. About the length of Sakura's. It looks good on her. But what is she doing here? I don't remember her being appointed to anything to do with this mission. Plus, wouldn't someone have mentioned this to me?

Matsuri wrapped her arms around Mamoru's waist and winked at me. "He really isn't all that bad." Mamoru put his arm around her shoulders and they turned to leave, which is when I caught sight of another thing I hadn't noticed before. Oto's symbol. On Matsuri's belt.

She is with them! How can that be? Matsuri could never do that to Gaara! She was in love with him! How is this possible? How can she do that? What is _wrong_ with her? I felt my skin turn cold as I watched them walk off. What demon could put something in her head to make her think it was okay to betray Gaara like that? Orochimaru, that is who. But isn't he dead? If not, he very well should be. This isn't right. Matsuri may have been a bitch to me, but never ever would I have thought she would leave Suna and betray Gaara so badly.

I rubbed my nose and turned, only to stop dead in my tracks. Gaara stood there, his hands fisted at his sides as he watched Matsuri's back. "So you've seen." His eyes returned to mine and I felt a chill feather its way down my back. "Come," he said. He motioned for me to follow him.

"What is she doing?" I asked when we entered the apartment. "Does she know that she is on the wrong side of this war?"

Gaara took one of the bags from me and started to put things away. "She knows."

I set the other bag down and thought. "And she isn't under orders to spy, is she?"

"No."

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "How can she do this? Last I knew she was still completely head over heels for you."

"I could say the same about you," he said softly. We continued on in silence. I took out some pork I had bought and started to cook it on the stove. The smell filled the room and my mouth started to water from it.

We ate in silence as well. We had nothing else to talk about. And what can I say to that comment he made? "Oh, Gaara, you don't know it, but I am still very much in love with you!" Yeah, that would turn out well. And when I die, he will lose me and my love again. That is much, much worse than thinking I do not love him anymore. I know what it is like to finally have something, only to lose it. I know how hard and painful that is. But what would it be like to get it again, only to lose it once more? That would hurt twice as bad. I can't imagine that kind of pain.

Gaara set his plate in the sink and went into the bedroom, only to come back out seconds later. He tossed a letter on the table, one that had already been opened. "This was handed to me earlier. It is from Kankuro. He wants to meet with you, though he does not say why. I will bring you there tomorrow and I will pick you up. With Matsuri around I do not want you walking around alone."

"Are you afraid she will try to hurt me if she finds out who I am?" I asked, picking up the letter and scanning it over.

"No," He returned to the bedroom. "I'm afraid you will hurt her and give us all away," he said before he shut the door.

I smirked to myself. He knows me still so well.

– –

The next day we met Kankuro at a tea shop around noon. He had the place all picked out. A small shop that doesn't get all that much business, on the side of town, and with a table in the back where we were in a corner so we could see in all directions. Gaara let me enter alone and promised to be back in two hours to get me. He told me he would wait outside.

When I entered I saw Kankuro immediately, Temari sitting next to him. I can't believe I am showing them my disguise. But Gaara said Kankuro already knew, because he knew Gaara was Gaara and he saw me with him. Temari, on the other hand, had yet to find out. And, of course, she doesn't know who I am. But when I went over to the table, Temari smiled at me and got up to leave. I wouldn't see her again that day.

"Have a seat, cutie," Kankuro winked.

I rolled my eyes and held up my left hand, showing a ring I picked up at some stall. "I'm engaged, so don't try anything funny, Mister," I said in a quiet voice.

Kankuro smirked. "Yeah, I saw that big fellow who you left outside. Scary one he is, eh?" I smiled a privet smile, knowing Gaara would glare his head off if he heard Kankuro saying those words. "I've talked with my brother and there are some things we need to talk about. Believe it or not, but he has a heart and just can't talk about some things. So, he gave me this job."

I nodded, knowing Gaara was never the talking type. This must be about Matsuri, what else could it be about? Gaara would never open up his heart to his brother to tell him about how he feels about me. So I don't have to worry about that. "I saw Matsuri last night," I whispered, trying to keep my voice down so others wouldn't hear me. "Why is she doing this?"

Kankuro nodded, sitting back and looking down at his tea. Then he scoffed, and gave me a sad smile. "I'm sure you are tired of hearing the words "After so-and-so died, this is what happened." But, that is how this is going to begin." I rolled my eyes and sat back to listen to his account on what happened with her after I left. "She, of course, wanted to comfort him after what happened with a little someone. But he wouldn't listen to her. Because of the troubles those two girls had with each other, their rivalry for his love, she reminded him of her to much. So he wanted her gone and would ignore her to the point if she stood in front of him, he would keep walking even if he hit her and knocked her down."

I swallowed hard. Poor Matsuri, that must have been hard. She had such a crush on him before I came along and I ruined it all for her. And then for him to do that to her after I left... God, she must have been so hurt!

"After this treatment went on for awhile she started getting mad. She stopped trying to get his attention, she stopped talking to me and my sister, and she went so far as to start rumors about some cheating going on while someone was living in some forest place." When I was living in Konoha. She tried saying I cheated on Gaara? No way. That- "It got really bad. To the point where he got a whiff of it on the wind and went to confront her personally." His words cut my thought off.

"What did he do?" I asked. I leaned forward to make sure I heard everything and missed nothing.

Kankuro shrugged and put his arm over the table, showing me long ugly scars. "He attacked her. What do you think he would do? I jumped in just in time to save her life. That was when she lost it. She cursed him as she left the village, throwing her forehead protector at him as hard as she could. If you look close enough you can see the scar from it on his chin. That girl has amazing aim."

I shook my head. This is all to much to believe. How can so much happen in as little as ten years? Okay, I get it, ten years is a long time. But this much has happened? It seems like it should be impossible. Matsuri and I had kind of made up in the end, we were some thing like friends. I saved her from the plague, and she helped me get away from Gaara after the battle. We understood each other at the very least.

I leaned back and glanced out the window across from us. People litter the streets, but then I saw someone running and shouting. I stood to see if I could get a better look. If I'm not mistaken that was Tenten. I walked over to the window and looked down the street where she was running. A bunch of people were standing in a group, some were pumping their hands in the air.

I glanced over at Kankuro. "This could be trouble."

We both ran from the building and ran down the street. Kankuro started asking what was going on, but I just pushed my way into the crowd. I nudged people this way and that so I could get through. My tiny body is good for something at least! I finally broke through and saw what was going on. Mamoru. Gaara. Fighting. Shit!

I went to jump into the fight to stop Gaara but someone grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back. "Don't! Let them get it out," she said. I stared at Matsuri unbelieving. She sighed. "They are men. Men fight. You can't stop them."

I shoved her off of me and watched the two of them fight. Gaara got a punch to the face that knocked him back, then he tripped and fell to the ground. That is it. I can't stand here. I ran in and pulled back my fist, powering it with all my might as I let it fly towards Mamoru. I hit him square in the jaw. But it did nothing. Nothing but stun him for a second. Then his pissed face was looking at me, his large hands reaching for my throat. But Gaara was up, and nailing Mamoru in the stomach time after time with his fist.

A hand grabbed my hair and pulled me backwards. Matsuri got in my face, still with a hand in my hair, twisting painfully. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" she shouted in my face. "No one touches my man!" Her hand pulled back and she was about to punch me, but I twisted, hurting my head more, and kicked her knee, sending her screaming to the ground. I reeled back and struck out with my foot again, but this time she ducked before I could hit her.

"I could say the same," I said in a low raspy voice.

"She speaks!" Matsuri laughed. "And here I thought you were mute!"

She lunged for me, but I blocked and attacked right back. I could hear the guys grunting with each hit they took, and I could smell the blood in the air. Matsuri and I are almost equal in hand to hand combat skills. She sure has gotten over her fear of blood, I see. We are both swift and agile. And we think our moves through. Maybe that is why the guys beat each other up so badly. They don't think about their attacks a head of time. They only think about what will do the most damage to the other and give no thought to how it will effect them, either.

Whistles brought us out of our fighting. We all stopped and looked toward where the sound was coming from. Law enforcement agents, no doubt. But not like the cops from back home. Matsuri ran over to Mamoru and they both ran away, his arm over her shoulders so she could support him. I rushed to Gaara, but he was the one who grabbed me and we ran. I caught a glance of an amazed Kankuro as we passed him. We ran to an alleyway and once we were hidden from the unwanted eyes, sand swirled and we were back in the apartment. I know the people chasing us are going to be baffled at that.

I spun on Gaara. "What the hell happened!" I yelled at him. "You said not to draw attention to myself, but look at you!" Gaara crossed his arms over his chest, but he winced slightly, putting his arms back down. I smirked. "You are so hurt right now you can't even do your cross armed pout. How funny is that!" He just watched me evenly, knowing very well I was right. I stared at him hard, then let out a sigh. How can I be mean to him right now? He had such a hard time when I left and now all I do is yell at him... I sighed again and wiped some dirt from my face. "Go get the first aid kit and I will bind your wounds." He turned and headed for the bathroom without a word.

I peeled off my shirt that was stuck to my back with sweat and tossed it on the floor. Then I grabbed an, already stained, towel and warmed it with water. By then Gaara was setting a chair near the sink and taking his shirt off. With how many scars he has on his chest it is a wonder anything can pierce that scar tissue. I knelt next to him and started to wash off the blood. One particular scar, though, reminded me of something from a while ago. The one that looks like a burst of paint.

I shook my self mentally and continued to clean off all of the blood. I gently wiped it from his face as well, being careful around his eye. A split on his brow created a hazard for getting blood in his eye. I used a clean area of the towel and cleaned it again, being very gentle. I took some antibacterial gel from the kit and put a little on his brow, sticking a small bandage over it. Then I moved onto his larger wounds. I ended up wrapping his chest all the way around his back because I didn't have big enough bandages.

"You are such a mess," I whispered to myself. "Why do you do these things?" I sighed as I picked up the kit.

Gaara replied with, "why did you jump in the fight?"

I glanced up at him, but then went back to cleaning up. "That is different."

"How so?"

I snapped the kit closed and stood to bring it back to the bathroom and put it away. "Because I was trying to help your sorry ass, why else? You shouldn't have been in the fight to begin with."

Gaara scoffed lightly. "You don't even know what the fight was about."

I looked back out the bathroom door at him. "So why don't you enlighten me on the matter. Hm? Why were you fighting, Mr. Sabaku? Tell me, so that when Kankuro asks why your ass is all beaten up, I can give him a clear answer."

Gaara crossed his arms and used his full height on me, trying to intimidate me.

I rolled my eyes and waved him off. "That doesn't work with me. I spent my whole life around people who are taller than me."

He just smirked.

* * *

**What are your thoughts on this chapter? I'd love to hear them!**


	19. Condition

**Here we are! Chapter 18, enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 18, Condition.

Fighting Matsuri changed something in me. We need to finish our mission and get out. It is much to dangerous for us to stay here much longer. I can already feel the effect emitting off myself and Gaara. He has become much more tense since yesterday. And he is now refusing to let me clean his bandages. He does them himself. I only hope he knows what he is doing. He could get an infection easily and it can become life threatening if it gets too too bad.

I fear the guy he was fighting with will come looking for him and try to beat him up again. Then what will he do? Gaara is an amazing fighter, yes. But without the use of his sand, I fear he cannot beat that guy. What would have happened to him if I wouldn't have stepped in? He was on the ground. Once you hit the ground it isn't likely you will get back up. Would he have killed Gaara if I hadn't punched him?

I glanced down at my knuckles as I thought this over. His jaw was _really_ hard. Why was it so hard? Does he have like metal plates under his skin or something? It makes me wonder how his punches felt. If he has metal plates over his knuckles that would really _hurt_. That could be why he came out of the fight so wounded. I shivered. No wonder he ran away so fast!

I chuckled at that part. The thought of Gaara running from anything is amusing. Mr. Tough Guy would never run from anything in his life. But he did. Funny, huh?

A soft knock at the door and the sound of the creaking hinges alerted me to someone entering. I glanced around the corner just as Gaara came up, ready to attack. Naruto crept in the room, holding something wrapped up in a blanket. He smiled playfully and set the blanket down on the floor and bolted from the room, the door slamming shut behind him. So much for being quiet!

The bundle on the floor started moving, wiggling. Then Youji's head poked out and she sniffed the air. I squealed and ran over to her, picking her up and hugging her tightly. She licked my face all over. The door to the bedroom shut once more. Youji snuggled up against me as I sat down on the couch, holding her close. She is so much like her father. I miss him. Renjiro was such a smart little fox. He was so talented, too. And Youji looks just like him, for the most part.

I silently thanked Naruto as I fell asleep snuggled up next to Youji.

– –

The sun was bright when I woke up, lighting up the whole room. Youji was still beside me, but awake and looking around the room. I sat up and stroked her soft fur. Ouch, my back hurts. Stupid couch. I yawned and stretched my arms over my head. What are we going to do today? Gaara must already be gone to work by now. And so that means it is just Youji and I! What will we do today?

Maybe we will go bring lunch to Gaara. I've noticed hes been eating a lot when he gets home, so he must be skipping lunch. And he obviously is working at the mines, because there is charcoal dust everywhere and his clothes are almost completely black. I should wash the clothes, too. And the dishes. And this floor needs another scrubbing.

I walked into the bedroom and changed my clothes, then fixed my messy hair.

"Come on, Youji! We are going for a walk!"

That stuff can be done later.

We walked all over town, just sight seeing. I saw a few of the others and waved at Hinata before I could stop myself. She waved back a little nervously. I bought two lunch boxes from a little store where I saw Tenten working at. She didn't speak, taking my money silently. She saw me punch that guy, she saw the power I put behind it. I walked down to the mill and asked for the man named "Anzai Jiro," Gaara's made up name. When I was asked who I was, I said, "His fiance, Ai." That was also the name Gaara gave me.

Is that ironic? Ai means love. Ai is also the same symbol he has on his forehead. Did he do it on purpose? Or did he do it without thinking? I sighed and looked down at Youji, who was circling my feet, her soft fur comforting on my legs. I reached down and ran my hand over her back. I miss my Renjiro so much. But I'm happy Youji is here. She makes the pain a little less.

I only waited a few minutes before I saw Gaara walking my way. I held up the boxes of food when he got close enough and he waved me to follow him. We ate under the shade of a tree, saying nothing. I fed Youji a few bites of meat as she lazed around in the few spots of sun under the tree. Finally, after Gaara was almost done his food, he spoke to me.

"Thank you for the meal," he said. He was silent again, his hands resting on his knees. I could tell he was debating with him self, the way his jaw worked back and forth thoughtfully gave it away. So I stayed quiet and nibbled on a piece of fruit. He cleared his throat and looked away, down towards the mines. "The man deserved what he got," he said.

I rolled my eyes. Then I glanced over at Gaara. "Let me see your hands," I said, reaching out for them. Gaara hesitantly put his hand in mine and I brought it close to my face. I scoffed. "Just as I thought, what a sneak. Mamoru has metal plates under his skin." I rubbed Gaara's bruised knuckles carefully, pulling a little of the water out of my hands to heal them slightly. "Why didn't you have your sand guard up? That full body armor you had before."

"He would have known," he said. "Then our cover would be blown." Gaara stood and offered me his hand to help me up. I took it and let him lift me to my feet. "You need to be careful by yourself. Matsuri will be watching for you."

I nodded, I know this. "And you, too. Mamoru won't be to happy about what happened. But do not hit him in the face, or in his albs. If you must fight him again, go for places where you normally wouldn't hit. I have a feeling the plates were not implanted surgically."

Gaara looked at me hard. "What do you mean?"

I rolled up the sleeve of my shirt and used my power to grow my muscles, bulging them against the skin. When his eyes widened I let it out and put them back to the size they were. "If I can do this, then he can turn his muscles to steel for his convenience. Do not think anything is impossible."

He kept staring at me. "When did you learn you could do that?"

I smiled privately to myself. I actually wasn't sure it would work, but now that I know it does, wow. There is so much I can do. "I'll have supper done for you when you get home." He nodded and watched me walk off, Youji running to catch up.

– –

Another meeting was called that night, but I didn't go. Neither did Gaara. Sakura filled us in when she got back, Kakashi joined her. It would be to risky for Gaara and I to show our true selves with Matsuri and her gorilla walking around waiting to see us again.

"Everything is being set in motion," she explained. "Shikamaru and Ino have been talking with their dads. Tsunade-sama wants us to finish up and return home, things are getting messy there. They need us back." Sakura cleared her throat. "Tomorrow night she needs the both of you to meet with Shikaku and Inoichi. She needs to talk with you." Kakashi handed me a piece of paper. I glanced at it and handed it to Gaara.

"That is the address you will meet them at for the conversation. Inoichi will be set up to transfer messages between you two and Hokage-sama." Kakashi brushed his hair from his eyes. It is still down, making him look like some masked God. I smirked at his gesture, so girly.

"When will we attack, and who?" I asked.

Sakura looked me hard in the eye. "I know for a fact that you have seen her. Matsuri is hiding Oto soldiers in her house. That is where we will attack. That is who we will attack. Understand?"

I nodded. "I will do whatever you say. Under one condition."

Sakura sighed, but made a gesture for me to name it.

"I get Matsuri."

– –

I could almost see Tsunade's anger coming from Inoichi's machine on his head. She doesn't like my condition. But there isn't much she can do from where she is. So, reluctantly, she agrees. But orders Gaara, yes _orders_ him, not to let me out of his sight at any point during the battle. He doesn't have a problem with that. He doesn't want me to face her alone.

But there is also something I need to talk to her about privately. But that isn't going to happen. So I decide, when the time comes, that I don't need to ask her permission. Why do I need her permission anyway? Because she is the Hokage, that's why. And old habits die hard. The same reason I have a hard time not talking to Gaara, even after he scared me to death. It is kind of like a puppy who has been beaten all its life. It will never bite the hand that hit it.

I listened only a little to Gaara's conversation with her.

Youji is curled up in my lap, her belly up for me to scratch. I think of what will happen when we raid that house. How much fun it will be to wipe that smirk off Matsuri's face once and for all. But can I do it? Can I kill her?

Matsuri may have been my rival for Gaara in the beginning. But she changed. She helped me. When I was stuck between a hard place and Gaara, she helped me get out of it by complaining and showing him I wasn't trustworthy. Even though it was all true and hurt beyond compare, she still helped me out of that situation. Can I kill her?

I looked down at Youji, thinking of Renjiro. How I miss him.

"Doe?"

I jumped slightly at the sound of Shikaku's voice directly in front of me. His eyes were soft, ageless. He has seen so much in his lifetime. He has ended many lives. He has seen many deaths. But he has also seen birth. His own son, Shikamaru, he has watched grow into the man he is now, helping guide him to be the best person he can be. What would he do in my position? Would he kill her? If someone threatened everything he holds dear, his family, his village, what would he do? Because that is my dilemma. Her being a traitor effects everything I love. If I get rid of her, she wouldn't be able to share anymore vital secrets to the enemy.

My babies would be in less danger.

Shikakau said my name again, but this time put his hand on my shoulder. My eyes focused on his scarred face and I realized I had probably completely spaced out after he got my attention for a brief moment. I glanced around, everyone is staring. Gaara intently. I looked back at Shikaku and gave him an apology smile and shrugged my shoulders, hoping he would wave it off as being tired.

But his eyes remained the same, an emotion I cannot pinpoint, but I am sure I will remember what it is after this meeting is over. But it bothers me, not being able to tell what he is thinking. Does he know? Does he know the dilemma I am facing? Can he see right through me with those piercing eyes? Does he see the turmoil deep within my heart? Can he hear the constant scream? Can he see I am falling apart at the seams?

His other hand gripped my opposite shoulder. He bent down lower and stared deep into my eyes, seeming to see my very soul. "Doe, stay with me this time." His voice held no humor, he is serious.

Does he? Can he see how ripped and torn my soul is? Does he know I am seconds away from screaming pure hysteria and smashing everything within reach?

His grip tightened and he lowered his body closer to the floor, becoming level with me. "Doe, we need to talk. I need you to focus. Focus on my voice. Listen to what I am saying to you."

What? What is he saying? He can't. He can't tell them the truth about me. Will he? Will he tell everyone how shredded my everything is? I can't swallow. I can't breathe. His hands hurt.

"Doe, it needs to be tonight. Listen to what I am telling you. Focus on my voice. You need to attack tonight, when the sun sets. Do you understand? Doe, do you understand what I am telling you?"

I stared at him, at his eyes. Yes, I understand. I understand all to clearly.

Matsuri's life will end tonight.

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**What do you think will happen next? Will she really kill Matsuri? Let me know in a review!**


	20. To Kill

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 19, To Kill.

How does one prepare to murder another?

I sit on my bed facing the window, Youji sitting next to me staring with her head tilted to the side. The sun began its decent five and a half hours ago. The sun is starting to turn an orange red color, casting the few clouds a magnificent pink. Is Matsuri watching the sunset? Does she know it is the last time she will see it? Does she know I am coming for her?

I close my eyes and allow myself a moment without thinking.

But her face forms before my eyes, the one I knew ten years ago.

Her pleading face. The one she gave me when I observed her condition of the black plague. How helpless she looked. The pain, the sorrow. Knowing she would die. Knowing I was the only one who had any chance at saving her life. When Matsuri returned to Konoha looking for me, begging me to come and help them. She, and many others, would have died that day had I not been there. I am sure of it.

Matsuri has looked up to me to save her and those she cares about for years. How can I kill her? What if she looks at me with those pleading eyes? I opened my eyes to the red sky.

She is no longer the Matsuri I knew. She kills innocent people now. She betrayed Gaara and is aiding the enemy to kill him. To kill my babies. She must be stopped. She must be stopped before she can harm anyone else. And if I die trying to end her life, then so be it. But I will do everything within my power to eliminate her from this world, and any other world she could go to. Because she is a danger to human life.

As the sun and its light disappears, I know I am ready.

And when I look into the mirror, I see my face. The face of the matured Kira Lorenzo of New York, daughter of a millionaire, owner of the top club. I see Kira of Suna, Kira of Konoha, and Doe of nowhere. I see a mother who is ready to defend her babies at any cost. I see myself in all forms, ready for this fight. But, most of all, I see Kira, the monster with bloodied hands.

– –

I go alone, not allowing Gaara any room for arguing. In all reality, he could have forced the issue, being my superior. But he didn't. He said nothing as I left, without a mask, without my disguise. No one will be out this night. The clouds hover over head, heavy with rain like a dark omen. I walk down the street, my hair loose around my shoulders, my black outfit snug against my skin. I am but a shadow deep within the shadows.

I carry nothing but a twig with a metal end.

Will she remember me? What will she say when she sees my face? She will not believe it. She will think I am fake and shake her head to dispel the image. But I will not leave that easily. Not with her still breathing. I will have what I want this night. I will have her death.

I hear footsteps around the next block. I slip closer to the house I'm walking past, slipping deeper into the shadows. I peek around the corner.

Its her.

Matsuri is walking at a steady pace, her arms wrapped around herself, her eyes darting back and forth. She is alone. She is unsettled. She knows something is wrong. When she comes thirty feet from the corner I am at I step out of the shadows, but keeping close enough to them to hide only my face. The lamp light casts my body with light, ending where the shadow starts at my neck.

She stopped abruptly, her arms loosening with shock. How can someone be out here, she thinks. Who are they, what do they want. Are they after me. I know these are running through her head, I can see it on her face. I hold the twig out, the metal facing away from my body. It slowly changes shape, lengthening, sharpening. Within seconds I am holding a sword sharp enough to split a hair.

She takes a step back, thinking of running. But no, she isn't a runner. She plants her feet firmly on the ground and holds her hands to her sides, ready to make a move at a seconds notice. Who is this, she thinks. I smile mockingly. Matsuri's eyes scan the small area we are in. She is looking for an escape route. But there is none. She couldn't have chose a worse area to be found in. The road behind me ends, and she needs to get by me to go the way I came from, which, if you don't know the area, could very easily lead you to yet another dead end.

She thinks of escaping the way she came. But she knows she wouldn't be able to make it. She doesn't know if I have a good throw or not. For all she knows, the second she moves to turn she could end up with a sword piercing through her. She feels caged. Her eyes dart to the roof tops. Yes, she could try that. She could jump to any alley she wishes and hide. But she doesn't know my speed. I could be on her before she lands on the roof, gutting her, pushing my sword in her to the hilt.

Her only option, she knows, is to stay and fight. To see how strong I am, how fast I am. Then she can think of her escape. Her feet spread apart, her knees bend. She is ready.

But she is not ready for this.

I step out of the shadows just as she is about to pounce. Her shock is so great she almost falls over. She takes a few staggering steps backwards to regain her balance. Her eyes are wide, her mouth wide open. Good, she remembers my face. I take another step forward, swinging the sword in my hand until it is facing her. I take two more steps. Her jaw works, her gasps coming out hard.

"You- No," she stutters. "No, you're dead!" She staggered again. Is she that thrown off by my appearance? All of the others took it very well.

"You should never have done it, Matsuri," I whisper into the night air.

She hears me. I can see the shock turn to fear. She now knows I am here to kill her. Instincts take over and her body moves on its own. How much she has learned in the years is not surprising. I sprint forward and grab her wrist with my free hand, spinning her around. Her arm comes up towards my face, her elbow ready to jam into my nose. But I blocked it with the hilt of my sword. A sickening crunch filled the air, along with a pain filled yelp from her.

"You should never have done it, Matsuri," I repeated, a little louder.

She tried fleeing again, but I am faster. I get in front of her and shove her backwards so hard she falls to her back, cracking her skull on the ground. The hard smell of blood reaches my nose as I walk to stand over her.

Tears shine on her face. "Why?" she gasps. "Why are you doing this?"

I stared down at her, my sword by my side. She is so helpless, just like I knew she would be. Her shock and fear have rendered her useless in a fight. Her eyes are not only pleading me to let her live, they are begging me as well. She whispers something useless, but I cannot hear it over her sobs. This girl was once so high and mighty. Thinking she was so much better than me. So much more worthy of Gaara's love. And now look at her.

Her hair is a mess. Her make-up runs with her tears. Her clothes are dirty. Everything she never was she is now. She is pathetic. What made her turn this way?

Kankuro said it was Gaara's love for me that did it. Her reason for leaving was because Gaara could never love her because she had history with me. Because of our rivalry. I am the very reason she has turned into this mess. Because of me she is here right now, begging me with her eyes to let her live. Is it only fair that I am the one to get her out of this mess? What would she do if I let her live? No, that is not an option. Though, most would pass her off as crazy if she went around saying I am alive and I tried to kill her.

No. Matsuri has to die.

"Please," she begs.

"You should never have done it," I whisper to her.

Matsuri's eyes widen, and she takes a deep breath as if to scream. But she never gets the chance. I lift my sword over my head with both hands, the tip pointed towards her chest. With all my strength, I force it downwards and into her body, slicing her heart in half. Her eyes grow a fraction wider and freeze like that. I yank my sword out and watch her lifeless body fall to the ground, her eyes staring up at the black sky as the rain starts to fall.

"You should never have betrayed Gaara."

I drop the sword to the ground and let it turn back into a twig, only now it is covered in blood. Only now, after everything is over, do I realize the tears on my cheeks. The rain quickly disguises them. But the rain cannot disguise the pain on my face, nor the shaking of my body. A hand reaches up and wipes my cheek, to wipe away the rain and tears. But instead of the clear liquid my hand comes away red.

Red with blood.

I screech and wipe furiously at my face, trying to get it off. It isn't coming off. I sob loudly as I wipe at my face, my neck, my arms. I am covered in it. My shoes soak with it, the warm thickness of it. Suddenly I became all to aware of the dead body at my feet. I move to get away from it, to run away from her staring eyes. But I slip on the dirt and fall, my face coming within inches of hers. I feel my panic setting in. I am frozen.

Hands grabbed me, pulling me away from the sight. A large jacket covers my head and shoulders, keeping me close to the chest of the jackets owner. A large rough hand cradled my cheek and made me look up. Those jade eyes pulled me out of my terror. Gaara's eyes instantly soothed me. They let me know I'm not alone. They let me see there will be a tomorrow for me. They let me know everything will be alright.

I forced my eyes shut and leaned into his warmth for I find myself suddenly very cold.

– –

I regained sense of things when my body was lifted into the air. I gripped the arms around me tightly, holding on for dear life. But they didn't let go. I quickly found myself enveloped in hot water with lots of bubbles on its surface. And somehow I am now naked. And the feeling of another persons skin against mine has my fear bubbling up again. I twist in the arms enough to see who is behind me. Gaara's jade eyes stare into mine.

"Sh," he whispers. "Everything is alright now."

I stare at him like he is crazy. What is he talking about?

He hands me a soapy cloth. "Wash up, the blood will go away."

I look down at myself, my hands, my arms, my chest. I am covered in blood. Fear is deep in my veins now. I know for a fact none of Matsuri's blood got on me. It didn't even splatter. But I remember the rain. I remember the strong smell of blood in the air. Matsuri isn't the only one who died this night.

"Who?" I manage, but nothing more.

Gaara brushes my hair away from my neck and uses a cloth to wipe at the blood. "Mamoru. He saw you going after her. I couldn't allow him to touch you."

I swallowed hard, my throat is very dry. "You killed him," I whispered. It is not a question, but he answers anyway.

"Yes."

He continues to wipe at the blood on my skin. I stared at my hands. The same hands that ran Matsuri through with a sword. She received no mercy from me. Did she expect it? Did Matsuri expect me to give her a chance to explain before I killed her? Maybe she did. Maybe she thought I was just her imagination gone bad. She looked upset when I first saw her. Was she thinking about returning and begging for forgiveness? Would Gaara have granted it if she had?

I choked on a sob and bowed my head.

I pray she can forgive me.

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**Tell me what you think :)**


	21. Secret Lake

**Hopefully this nice long chapter will keep everyone satisfied for a little while :) Starting up school again, so I may not be updating as quickly as I have been the last few weeks. Enjoy!**

**Just a little hint for the chapter: Things will begin heating up. ;)**

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Chapter 20, Secret Lake.

We began our journey home after that night. Slowly, so no one would take notice to a large group of people leaving all at once. Gaara and I were the first to leave, then Choji and Ino met up with us that night. We started back to Konoha, knowing the others would be only a few days behind us. The four of us, not needing to stop much, got back to Konoha in record time.

There was no joyous greeting. Nothing. We returned in the pouring rain, splitting up as soon as we reached the gates. Gaara was off to find the Twins, Ino to let her mother know everything is alright, and Choji to get something to eat. I stood watching as the three of them slowly disappeared into the falling rain. I'm already soaked to the bone, so I'm not worried about anything like that. It's been raining for hours.

For days.

It hasn't stopped raining since I killed Matsuri and left her there to rot with a twig sticking out of her body. I'm sure news will reach Konoha of her death and people will wonder who her killer was. I just hope she wasn't a spy on our side. I hope she didn't want to come back. I also hope my guilt doesn't kill me.

"Hey, you!"

I looked to the left to see none other than Jiraiya-sama, himself. I smiled a small smile and walked over to him, just realizing the squish feeling in my shoes. He put his arm around my shoulders and steered me towards what is left of the training grounds. Without a word he lead me deep into the standing trees, until the only thing we could see was the rain and green leaves.

"Everything will be okay now, Kira," he whispered to me. He faced me then, putting both hands on my shoulders. "You did what needed to be done. You were given orders and you followed through. That is what being a ninja means. You follow your orders."

That is an odd thing for him to say. "I wasn't ordered," I said. "I asked permission. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to watch her die for what she did."

He looked at me hard, his eyes holding sadness. "You did what you had to. Do not regret something that is the beginning of your life."

I frowned. He is full of odd things today. "What do you mean?"

He smiled then, his eyes filling with humor and adoration. "You will see. Come, now, I'm starving!" He laughed.

That's the Jiraiya I know.

– –

Sakura tapped her pen on her clipboard and glanced up at me. "Well, you are fine. Nothing time wont heal." She set it down and brushed back her hair. "You may go now. But be careful!"

I winked as I left her office, all to happy to be leaving her to the rest of her work. Thankfully my hip isn't out of place. That fall I took after I killed Matsuri sprung to life a whole new wave of pain. It hasn't stopped hurting since. Sakura insisted she take a look, so I finally agreed and let her. She found nothing wrong with me. She thinks it may just be a bruise on the bone. Like she said, nothing that wont heal with a little time.

I stepped outside the hospital and took a deep breath of fresh air. Only this morning did it stop raining. Today is the first day I feel like my spirits are starting to lift. I've been invited to a formal gathering of the higher ups this evening. Tsunade-sama invited me because I know a lot about what is going on, and I will be able to help her explain what happened on our mission. Though I am not sure how I can do this explaining, considering I am supposed to be a "mute."

"SENSEI!"

I spun around just in time to catch Jessica as she came flying at me at hyper speed. Her arms locked around me and she squeezed, her legs a foot from the ground. I held on to her, trying not to laugh out loud.

"Sensei, I thought you would never come back! Daddy said I could find you here." She squeezed a little harder than loosened her grip, sliding to the ground as she looked up. "Daddy said you did a really good job! Did you? Did you kill the bad guy?" Her eyes shown with admiration and awe.

I smoothed back her hair and smiled sadly, nodding my head.

Her face lit up and her chest rose with her deep breath. It isn't necessarily good she is acting this way. Yes, it is good she knows she is more safe now. But it is bad she doesn't show any sadness towards a death. Any death should be respected. That much I have learned.

"Are you going to the dinner with Daddy and Aunt Temari?" she asked, still holding onto me.

I nodded, not knowing Temari would be there.

"Can I see your dress!" She jumped up and down. When did she turn into such a girl?

Wait...

DRESS?

– –

"This should fit you," Hinata said, holding out a beautiful deep green dress. She laid it out on the bed and took hold of Jessica's hand. "Lets go and get supper ready for the others. Doe can get dressed on her own." I was grateful, even more when she glanced back at me and said, "Just bang on the wall if you need some help."

I peeled off my ANBU outfit and slipped into the dress, pulling it up around my chest. To my horror, there are no straps. I sighed heavily and zipped it up my back, clasping the little clasp. I rolled my eyes. Of course my 17-year-old breasts aren't big enough for this dress! If I had my body back, my older body, this dress would look amazing on me. I thought a minute, then closed my eyes, concentrating.

After a few minutes of the intense pain that had me curled up in a ball on the floor, the dress started to feel snug around my chest and I could let go. Not an overly huge change, but enough. Now if only my chest wasn't throbbing with that searing heat. I lengthened my hair past my shoulders and shifted my cheek bones. Tears leaked from my eyes, but I held back my sob. I then changed my nose, making it a little longer and straighter, the cracking of my bone and cartilage made my stomach churn. After fifteen minutes, I don't even recognize myself in the mirror. Now if only I could figure out how to change my voice.

I cleared my throat and visioned what my voice box looks like. I've seen a video of what it looks like before somewhere. I sang one note, and visioned my voice changing. Again, not a huge change, but enough so people wont recognize my voice. I coughed up a little blood, but nothing to big.

Hinata came to check on me then. "Are you alright?" she asked when she saw the blood on my hands.

I looked at her for the first time without my mask and smiled. "Yes," I said, "I'm alright." She looks stunned. I would be, too, if I was her.

She smiled shyly at me and came over to survey the dress, make sure it wouldn't slip off if I walked. "I have a pair of shoes as well." Hinata went over to her closet and pulled down a pair of heels, the ribbon ties hanging limp. "Have a seat, I will show you how to put them on."

I sat down on the bed and let her show me, pretending like I've never seen this kind before. She wrapped the ribbon up my ankles and tied them off on the inside of my legs. I stood and walked over to the mirror, liking the image I see. I actually miss wearing dresses. I miss my club. I miss the bass vibrating through my chest. I miss Daddy.

"You look beautiful, Doe."

I turned to see Naruto walking in, having trouble wiping all of the confusion off his expression. "Are you sure you wont get in trouble for not wearing your mask?"

I shook my head. "No one will know who I am," I said, surprising him even more. He nodded his approval. If he had just seen me on the street like this he wouldn't have known who I am. "When do we leave?"

We arrive to the dinner right on time, something that amazed me. Naruto is usually always late. Hinata really has been a good thing for him. She made it so he is on time! I smiled over at her, and she smile back, probably knowing where my thoughts were. But I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard the stunned silence around me. I quickly checked my surroundings, only to find myself the object that caused the deadly silence. I spotted Tsunade on the other side of the room, her eyes almost falling out of her head. I smiled and started walking towards her, trying hard not to show everyone that my heart is pounding and I feel like I will feint.

Tsunade took hold of her expression quickly and smiled back, not a trace of her earlier astonishment showing. "Doe, you look very beautiful."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Her eye brows shot up. "Do you like my dress? Hinata let me barrow it."

She nodded, seeming pleased with my change. "It is beautiful."

Kakashi came over and placed a light hand on my arm, bringing my attention to him. "You look great, Doe. Now, ladies, shall we get this fancy meeting started?" He escorted us to our seats, mine next to him on the other side of Sakura. Tsunade sat at the head of the table with Naruto on her right, and Sakura on her left. I glanced down the table at all of the faces.

So many people I had once known. So many people I want to know again. I met Gaara's eyes. He sits at the other end of the table, watching me closely. I quickly looked away, admiring Temari's choice of dress, a deep green color and long. Then I looked over at Kankuro, who had decided to wipe off the paint for this occasion. He looks good in his button down shirt.

Tsunade stood, clearing her throat. Her light green dress is beautiful on her. "Thank you all for coming. I thought a dinner meeting would be different and pleasant. But there are important matters that much be discussed."

Gaara continued, wearing a black button down shirt like his brother with black slacks. "Eat as much as you like, we will start the meeting after everyone has their fill. As Kankuro always says, one thinks better with a full stomach." There were chuckles around the long table. I was surprised, he made a small joke. I smiled and sipped the wine in front of me.

The food was really good. Chouji thought so, too, eating more than I could ever eat in my life. I laughed to myself as I watched and chatted with him, him being next to me. I could tell he wondered about me, with how friendly I'm talking with him. But its hard not to. He is just as I remember. His hair is longer now, and he is a little bigger. But he is still the same old Chouji. Tenten and Neji sit across from us, they look so happy together. Ino and Shikamaru sit next to them, happily talking with each other. Before I would have never thought of those two as a couple. Never in my life. But they are cute together, though it does not seem like Temari thinks so. She keeps glaring down at them. Thank goodness Shikamaru and Ino's fathers are between the two!

Once everyone finished eating the plates were taken away, though wine was left for everyone. I sipped mine slowly, loving the way it slid down my throat. Something familiar from home. Home. Savannah, Kaleb, Mom, Daddy. My life.

"Doe?"

I looked up a little startled and noticed Tsunade standing, looking at me. "Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

She smiled patiently. "I would like you to tell the others what you yourself found out while on the mission."

I nodded, a little confused. Most of these people were there with us. Only a few were not. Though, I suppose most did not share my experience. I thought over my words carefully as I stood, straightening my dress. I cannot mention anything about my powers, nor about the murder that occurred. I glanced down the rows of people, meeting the bright green eyes of Gaara.

I cleared my throat. "While on the mission I discovered a few different things of note. One, they have people on their side who know many things about our operation systems and our defenses. Far to much. Second, our people are not being trained correctly."

That set many people off. Shikaku, Shikamaru's father, stood in an outrage. "Who are you to be saying our academy is incorrect!" He jabbed a finger towards me. "Our training routines are the best of all the nations! With Suna and Konoha combined our children are getting the best education on this planet."

I waited patiently for him to finish, then waited a few more seconds to make sure he wasn't going to start yelling again. "You are correct, Nara, the children are having the best education. But that is not what I am talking about. The children are being taught the correct way to fight, how to fight with honor. They are being showed how to respect those they are fighting. That is how everyone in this room fights."

Ino interrupted, linking her finger in front of her. She looks irritated. "And how is that wrong, Doe?" Shoot, I didn't mean to offend anyone.

"It is not wrong. But it is not what we need right now." I glanced over at Gaara when he leaned back in his chair.

"Explain why you view it this way," he said. He had his chin in his hand and was watching me with slightly narrowed eyes. Concentrating on me. Is he trying to see under my ultimate mask?

"Gladly," I smiled at him. "If any of you believe they will play by the rules, you are fools." I ruffled a few feathers with that comment. "They will play dirty. They will do anything they absolutely can to get the upper hand. I ran into one girl while on the mission who used the muscle of one guy to hide behind until it was convenient for her to spring forward and show her true colors." Gaara's jaw twitched, knowing I was talking about Matsuri. A sore subject for the both of us. "Going by the book is no longer safe. Every single person sent out will die if we continue this way."

"And what is it you are suggesting?" Kakashi asked evenly. Kakashi is not one to follow the rule book. But there is a limit to how far he will go. What I will be asking will be far beyond his limit of tolerance.

"Honestly," I sighed. "We need to fight dirty. Use everything against them. Use every tactic that comes to mind. Anything forbidden needs to become something commonly used. We will never win if we do not change the way we do things."

The tension in the room could be cut with a plastic knife, that is how thick it is.

I looked at every single person around this table, meeting all of their eyes. The few who know who I am looked back at me sadly, knowing where I am coming from with my words. Those who don't look at me angrily, but deep down know what I am saying. They understand that what I am saying is the truth. I am the only one daring enough to voice this out loud.

I glanced down at Gaara once more before bringing my eyes back to Tsunade. "They know all of our formations, if that is what you call them. They know Konoha's line out, they know where the weak spots are. They know our moves, and they know our power level. If we do not do as I suggest, and that is what it is, but a suggestion, we will all die. Every single person in this room as well as this whole village will die a painful and bloody death. Do you want that for the children?"

This time it was Hinata who stood, abruptly, too, almost knocking over her chair. "How dare you say such a thing," she said calmly. "I am a mother, you all know this." Her eyes scanned the table. "I never want my babies to learn such horrible things. I would rather die than let them kill others in such a manner. If I need to fight like Doe suggests to keep them from learning such things, then so be it. But never, while I am still breathing and my heart is still beating, will my babies learn such ways."

I was a little surprised about her outburst. Being a mother has certainly changed her. "I do agree with you, Hinata. The children should not have to learn those things. But I fear that if we do not change now, this very second, it will have to come to that. The children are our future. If we cannot settle this war quickly, we will need them to continue fighting for us and save the their own children from what we are trying to protect them from." I looked sadly down at the the table in front of me. "The children are our future. For them to have their future we must protect them so they can protect the next generation of children."

The silence was deafening. This is it.

From now on nothing will be the same.

– –

I watched my babies spar against each other, trying to follow their father and aunt's directions. I have yet to speak with Gaara about the meeting. It ended not long after I spoke. Tsunade and Gaara are to have a meeting with the Elder's about new training to be set in motion for the adults and older teens. But for now, things will remain how they are. A few have come to me and asked how to "change the rules" so we will have the upper hand. All I told them was to not do things the way they learned. Use their instincts and play dirty. Use whatever they have.

Be a bitch.

I watched my daughter attack her brother with fire, but he easily blocked it with a wall of sand. The next thing I saw was ice being thrown at him, and him trying hard to block it with his sand, but a few slipped through and gave him quiet the scrapes. But he attacked right back, and soon her blood was on his sand.

"Enough," Gaara called, waving them both over.

Jessica jumped at her brother grinning and hung off his back as Yukio carried her over to their father. I smiled at them and sighed to myself. I wish I didn't have to watch from afar. I wish I could be down there shouting out suggestions and wiping the blood from their cheeks. I wish it was me down there kissing a sore finger, or picking up my crying child. I wish I could be their mother.

I stood from my spot on a branch and swallowed back all of my wishes and hopes. I need to protect my babies. I need to protect their future babies. We need to settle this war before it comes to them having to learn what their roll models are going to start learning. I cannot believe it has come to this. The more I think about it the more astonished I am.

I shook my head sadly and jumped away from the small training field they were in. I made my way back to the Hokage Tower, where I was needed for a meeting. I knew Gaara would arrive any second. He does not need to know I was watching the twins fight. Jessica has taken to heart what I showed her and is definitely experimenting. I will need to remember to ask to work with her one day this week. I am the only one who can fully train with her, having the same powers but much more control. I think Gaara would turn out fine in a fight with her, from my memories of our spars. But I do not think that once she masters the elements he will be much of a challenge for her.

I arrive seconds before Gaara appeared in front of me, staring with those green eyes of his. I stopped a few feet from him, just outside of Tsunade's office. I stared back, not feeling at all uncomfortable under his gaze for the first time in a long while. I no longer need my mask, so I no longer feel like I am hiding from him. I look only a little different from what I would look like back home. And he knows this. I can see it in his eyes. I have a feeling we will be having a talk some time soon about my differences. The mission we had together has really brought back memories of the two of us. What little time we had together. What will we say to one another? Is there anything to say between us?

Gaara opened the door and held it open for me, staring as I walked past him to the door. He briefly touched my arm as I passed, a soft almost unnoticeable touch. But one that has my whole arm tingling.

"Nice of you two to join me." Tsunade downed whatever was in that small white bottle. I have a feeling she still has a strong addiction to sake. She set the bottle down and waited for Gaara to take his seat at his desk before speaking again. "As you know, we have the meeting with the elder's tomorrow. Are you nervous?" Still she does not use my name. Who knows who could be listening in on this conversation. I have no doubt the elders have bugged this room in more then a handful of places.

"No, Tsunade-sama." I lifted my chin a little at her frown. "I am not nervous because I know this is what needs to be done. We need to make this change to survive this war."

"And the children?" Gaara asked.

I looked over at him. Had he seen me watching the twins fight? "The children with have their fate decided with how quickly we can get this war finished."

Gaara just stared at me thoughtfully. I had to look away from him. Why is all he does is stare at me? Does he not know how to use words any longer? He used to always talk to me. Did I lose that right when I left him? It was not my fault. If I had my choice I would have never woken up. I would have gladly stayed here with him and my babies.

I mentally kicked myself. No. I cannot keep thinking about this. I am here to protect those that I love. I am the only one with that power. Because of me everyone in this village will survive. That is why I am keeping myself a secret. That is why I am fighting. I cannot let him or anyone else sway me from the path I have chosen. I am not the girl I used to be. I have grown. I have matured. I will not let some man take me from the path I have chosen. I will not let him get under my skin once again.

Tsunade pulled another white bottle from her drawer and held it out to me. "I think you need a drink."

I smiled and accepted it, clinking the bottle with another that she pulled out for herself. We both took a long drink of it. I licked my lips and grinned. I think we will be okay. If we all can work together we can make it. I know we can.

A sudden thought occurred to me. I quickly glanced over at Gaara, the bottle almost slipping from my hands. He rose his brow, meeting my eyes with his. I turned towards him. "Gaara, tell me once more how Suna fell." His jaw locked. It is a touchy subject, I know. But I need to know.

"Oto and Iwa attacked when we were not prepared. The desert was turning into hard earth, giving them the advantage. Our walls crumbled like they were nothing. I barely got a majority of my people out." His jaw worked, definitely a sore subject with him. "Why do you ask?"

I ignored his harsh tone and let my mind sprint ahead. That just doesn't happen. What he just told me is exactly what Kakashi told me. It has only been ten years. I quickly spun around and started pacing, my mind reeling. No, this will not work. I need to see it for myself. I stopped pacing and walked right up to Tsunade's desk. "Tsunade-sama, I need permission to visit Suna."

"Why?" She asked hesitantly.

I stared at her right in the eye, begging her not to ask questions. If the Elders do have this room bugged I will never make it out the door before I am killed. "I would rather confirm my thoughts than give you false information, Hokage-sama." I hope using her full title will give her a hint to how serious I am about this right now. "I need to visit Suna." I saw her about to say no, so I quickly continued. "I will go alone, I know the way well enough. I do not need to take away from the villages defense. They need to train. Please, Tsunade-sama, let me do this."

Gaara stood up then, bringing Tsunade's attention to him. "I will take her. It will take us seconds to get there, saving days of travel."

Tsunade scowled, looking back at me. "Fine, but if you are not back in three days you will have to answer to me. Understood?"

"Yes." I payed no attention to the threat she made. I need only an hour to view what I need then maybe a couple more to think it over.

"Leave immediately." Tsunade waved to Gaara.

He came over and wrapped his arm around my waist, a smirk on his face. "Do not try to get away like the first time you did." I smirked back as the sand started to sweep us away. I remember that day. Back when I was claustrophobic and afraid of anything that surprised me. I had been violently sick afterwords.

When I reopened my eyes we were in Suna, standing in front of what had been the Kazekage Tower. I looked at it sadly, stepping away from Gaara. His hand slowly slid from my waist. This is where I argued with Matsuri about me having possibly poisoned Gaara's dinner. I remember Gaara appearing at the top of the stairs and telling her to get lost. I remember him protecting me from those men down that road right there. I remember how safe I had always felt with him near.

I shook my head and wiped all of those thoughts from my head. I am here for a reason. I'd better get moving.

I walked down the main street of Suna, the one leading directly from the Kazekage Tower to the front gates. Very poor design but effective to all of the past Kazekage's personal powers. I made my way to the gates, taking careful observation of the crumbled buildings all around. I glanced back at Gaara, who followed me silently, watching me carefully.

"Is there anyone around that could be watching?" I asked in a very quiet voice. His eyes closed briefly and when they opened he shook his head. I nodded and continued walking, feeling the airs moisture on my fingers.

I bent down just before the crumbled walls and rubbed a blade of grass between my fingers. I smiled softly and stood back up, gazing over the crumbled down walls to the plains beyond. From here I can see more grass is growing than I could have ever imagined. This used to be a sweltering desert. I walked outside of the gates and out a good ways into the desert, where the grass is thicker than back towards Suna. I glanced behind me and saw Gaara standing just outside the gates looking in at his demolished city. When did this grass grow? When Sakura and Naruto brought me here, the ground was hard and dry. What changed?

I sat down on the grass and put my hands on either side of me, digging my fingers into the earth. When Gaara glanced over at me and I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, sending my mind deep into the ground. I followed the maze of routes produced by each blade of grass around me, all the way down to the center of its creation. There. Something is connected to the bottom of the roots and leading away from the city. Wait... I reached deeper into the earth, past the roots.

I opened my eyes and felt my mouth hanging open slightly. I looked up at Gaara, not really believing what I am feeling. He stood over me, staring down with a slight frown. "What is it?" He asked.

I pulled one hand out of the earth and motioned for him to sit in front of me. I reached my hand out and waited to feel his fingers glide against mine before I looked up at him. "I want to show you something," I said softly. I closed my eyes and tightened my grip on his hand, digging my fingers deeper into the earth.

I felt the jerk of his hand as the images of the maze of roots flashed before our eyes. I brought him miles down into the earth, far past the roots of the grass and pass what I had found disturbing. I brought him to a place that shows why the village fell so easily. I brought him to the lake under the desert that is making life grow on what had once been a waste land of nothing but sand. I zoomed towards the forest to show him how the lake is being fed by the springs of the forest, and that is also why the trees are thinning and why they are taking so long to heal from the burning.

I brought him back towards the city, showing him where the water had been sucked from the buildings, from the walls, and more importantly from the water tower that I had once practiced atop. All of the water was added to this secret lake to moisten the earth and make it a disadvantage to Gaara. I showed him exactly why the village fell so easily. My concentration was broken when Gaara ripped his hand from mine and was gone in a flurry of angry sand.

I stood up quickly and spun around, looking for him. A cloud of dust blew up into the air from the village. I swore under my breath and sprinted as hard as I could towards the village to find Gaara before he hurt himself. My heart thundered as I searched wildly for him, running towards the sounds. I found him going crazy, throwing boulders this way and that with his hands as well as the sand. I do not think I have ever seen such a mad look in his eyes before.

"Gaara!" I screamed at him, afraid to get to close. He didn't hear me, yelling as he strained to lift a rather large boulder and heave it an unbelievable distance. I ducked as the sand lashed out at me. "Gaara!" I screamed again, this time sprinting towards him. He sensed me coming and turned on me, attacking with the sand.

I avoided every attack he threw at me. He isn't that good when he is on a rampage. It was not smart to show him what I did. He could have easily avoided what had happened if he had been paying attention. And he knows it. Gaara threw a punch at me, but I blocked it, and tried to grab him, but I was thrown back by the sand. Does he blame me? I hit the ground hard. I screamed his name again, yelling at him to stop, but his anger was to much. He continued to attack me. Does he blame me for the downfall of Suna? I ran at him again, blocking or avoiding every attack that I could, and accepting the ones I could not. Suna would not have fallen so easily had I not left him.

He went to punch me, but I moved out of the way and the force he put behind it brought his fist down closer to the ground. I took this opportunity to bring my fist smashing against his face, throwing him back a few feet. He sprung back up and attacked me once more, this time with a bloodied nose. Again I punched him, but this time in the shoulder. He didn't show any effect to my attacks. What can I do? He will kill himself if he keeps this up. I screamed with frustration and ran up to him, grabbed his face, and kissed him as hard as I could.

That shocked him enough to keep him still. I pulled away quickly and slapped him as hard as I could. Then I started yelling at him, telling him how stupid he is and how he can destroy anything he wants. But if he dares to think he can kill himself and leave Jessica and Yukio alone he has another thing coming. I screamed and screamed and screamed at him, over stupid little things that happened over ten years ago. I yelled at him about the time he let me almost die because I was to stubborn to listen to him. I yelled at him about the time when he scared me half to death when I thought he had got the plague, I yelled at him about the time he got me pregnant and expected me to live happily ever after with him.

By the time I was done I was panting and shaking.

I stared at Gaara's bloody face, eyes wide with shock, mouth hanging slightly open. He was breathing hard, too, and just staring. We just continued to stare at each other. I shook my head and went to turn away. But there were hands on the sides of my face. Then there were lips on my own.

Gaara's lips stole my breath as well as my mind.

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**How did you like it?**


	22. What Should Have Never Happened

**Here you all go! Hope you enjoy it.**

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Chapter 21, What Should Have Never Happened.

Gaara pulled me so that I was flush against him, his lips still moving hungrily against mine. His hands held me firmly against his body, his fingertips digging into my lower back. I grabbed at his head, trying to keep him from moving away. This shouldn't be happening. But I started it. And I will not let it stop. I can taste his blood on my tongue, a sickly sweet taste. The feeling of his thundering heart against my chest is comforting, welcoming.

What is wrong with me? With us?

The next thing I knew my legs were around his waist and his face was buried in my neck as he held me tightly to him. I hugged his head tightly, taking in deep breaths of his sent, loving every second of it.

It ended far to quickly. Suddenly I was on my feet, behind Gaara, who was behind a wall of sand, with only a small hole to see out of. I gripped Gaara's sides tightly as I peeked around at what was happening. A few men and women stood on the other side of the sand wall with weapons and angry looking faces. I quickly stepped in front of Gaara before he beheaded them all without asking questions.

He grabbed my wrist and was about to say my name but I quickly put my hand over his mouth. "Let me deal with this," I said, staring hard into his eyes. I looked away when he started to scowl. "Who are you? What do you want?" I asked them.

One of the men stepped forward, trying to peek into the darkness of the sand bubble we are in. "My name is Gaetan. Tell me, is that Sabaku no Gaara? The Kazekage?" There was hope in his voice.

I took a step closer to the hole in the bubble, but kept my hand in Gaara's just encase they tried to attack. I looked them over carefully. "Why?"

"Please," he said. "Please, is that our Kazekage? You have no idea how long we have waited. We all thought he was dead! Is it him, lady?" Gaetan took a step closer, trying to peer in at me.

Gaara yanked me back and the sand bubble disappeared, I gasped when I saw his fist clutching the mans shirt and lifting him a few feet in the air. "Do not get close to her. I will make you feel a pain you have never dreamed you could feel if you dare think about hurting her." Gaara growled at the man.

Gaetan's eyes widened in fright. "I never thought it, I swear, Kazekage-sama!" Behind the fear I saw the happiness and the relief in his eyes.

I grabbed Gaara's arm and pulled gently, helping him lower the man back to his feet slowly. "Why are you here?" I asked, pushing Gaara until he took a few steps back.

Gaetan kept glancing back and forth between me and Gaara. I think he finally found out that I am the safer one to talk to right now. Gaara is still a little unstable from what happened. "We have been here since the village fell. We didn't know what happened or where anyone went. We thought Kazekage-sama was dead. For years we have been hiding here trying to keep others from taking over what is left of our home."

I looked back at Gaara, more than astonished. "You've been here all this time?"

A girl stepped forward, her black hair falling slightly into her face. "You look familiar," she said. "What is your name?"

I opened my mouth to give her my answer, but I stopped up short. I cannot say my real name. For all I know they are lying and they are the enemy. "Doe, you can call me Doe. Everyone does." I gave her a smile and glanced back at Gaara. "I hate to ask you, but do you have any food? We are really hungry." I gave them a sorry smile. "We haven't eaten in a few days."

A second girl stepped forward, her eyes wide. "Of course! Anything for the Kazekage and his girlfriend!"

I felt all emotion wipe off my face as they started leading us away. Girlfriend? Gaara's hand touched my lower back and everyone backed off of me. Yes, I can see where they would get that. Gaara is being extremely protective at the moment. We followed the small group towards the Kazekage tower, then down a flight of stairs that looked like they would crumble at any moment. Not to mention they probably saw the small exchange between the two of us.

Gaara had said there was no one around that could have been watching us. Could the moisture in the ground have messed with his accuracy? Could they have seen what I was doing? I hope nothing I did was very visual. If they had seen me they know I can do something fairly powerful to have such an effect on Gaara like that. If they truly know him and have lived under his rule, they will know no one could ever effect him like I had. Will they suspect who I am?

Someone lit a torch and started passing a few others around. Gaara took one and glanced down at me, staring into my eyes. I looked away and continued to follow the others, barely out of Gaara's reach. Guilt for what I did is starting to set in. I reached out and gently touched the arm of the first girl who had spoken to me. She looked back at me with deep brown eyes.

"Where are we going?" I asked her.

She smiled back, pulling her black hair into a ponytail. "To our small heaven. After the fight we knew that the basement of the Kage Tower would be the only place sturdy and big enough to house all of us."

"How many of you are there?" Gaara asked. He was closer to me now, but he did not touch me.

Gaetan glanced back at us from being the leader. "Our current count is fifty six in all. But a few babies will be born soon, so I do not know if that has changed yet."

Fifty-six people are living in the basement of the Kage Tower? How did they survive? My thoughts were silenced when we came upon the big room. I can tell where there had once been walls, which must have crumbled down and been moved away. I looked around at all of the people, more astonished than ever. This room does not look big enough for almost sixty people to live in for years. It is much to cramped. A few children ran around a small open area, tackling each other. I smiled and looked towards the other side of the room where a woman started screaming in pain.

The girl with black hair called out a name and was sprinting over, jumping over anyone in her way. I glanced back at Gaara, touching his hand before I followed the girl. Sand traveled up my arm and formed a band around my upper arm, keeping me safe. The woman screamed out in pain again as I knelt next to the girl with black hair. She was holding the woman's head and whispering softly into the woman's ear. The woman's face scrunched up again and she screamed out in pain once more.

"Push! Come on, Aya, you can do it. Push!" A different woman kneeling at the woman's spread legs called out. "Come on! A little more. You can do it, Aya! Bring your beautiful baby into this world. Come on Aya, push!" Aya screamed again, her face turning red with her effort. But I can tell her energy is being sapped from her. Something isn't right.

I moved to put my hand over her stomach, but the girl with black hair grabbed my hand before I could. "Don't touch her," she hissed at me.

I pulled my hand from her rough grasp, hoping Gaara saw nothing. "Let me help her. There is something wrong. I know you can see that as well as I can. I can help her. She and the baby will die if you say no." The girls frantic eyes looked back and forth between Aya and me, tears in her eyes. She nodded and hugged the woman's head to her chest.

I moved closer and placed both of my hands onto her swollen stomach, closing my eyes. I viewed the baby within. The baby is healthy, but if he does not come out soon he will suffocate. There, that is the problem. The umbilical cord is wrapped under his armpit and around his opposite leg. That is causing pain for both the mother and child, making it hard for her to push him out. I bit my cheek as I tried to decide what needs to be done. Obviously I need to do something about the umbilical cord. But what? I cannot move it from the position it is in. But what I can do is cut it and hope Aya can get him out before he is killed.

I opened my eyes and glanced around at the women around me. "The baby is in a very dangerous position. Both him and the mother could die. What I can do will ensure the mothers life, but it is up to her to keep her baby alive. She will need to get him out before he dies. Shall I proceed?" I looked to the girl with the black hair when I asked this. I believe she is the family here, it is her choice.

"Do it," she cried. "Save my sister."

I nodded and leaned back over the woman's stomach. I focused on what moisture is within her womb and made it slice the cord. "Alright, push Aya. Push or your baby will die." She screamed loudly as she pushed. I felt Gaara standing behind me rather than heard or saw him. But I ignored him, trying to encourage the mother to keep pushing and to push as hard as she could. Soon her screaming stopped and the baby came out.

The silence was deafening. "What's wrong?" The girl with black hair cried. "Why isn't he crying?"

"Give him to me!" I yelled at the woman holding him. I got the still baby in my hands and felt into his body, feeling his barely beating heart. I gave it an extra small push, helping him along. I moved his blood through his veins, trying to keep him alive. The heart beats got a little stronger, so I stopped helping his heart. And I waited, holding him to my chest as I carefully monitored his vitals. Thankfully he is breathing fine on his own. I don't know how I could move the air in and out of his little lungs without hurting him. He made a small noise, then started full blown crying, his heart now beating strong and his blood is pumping. I let out a small sigh of relief and handed the baby to his mother. "He will be alright."

Aya clutched him to her chest as she cried, smoothing back the small amount of black hair on his head. I smiled and reached back for Gaara to help me up.

He helped me to my feet and kept me from falling over. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "What I did isn't easy. I need to rest for a little while." He nodded and lead me away from the new mother towards a different part of the room. We came upon Gaetan and the other men all sitting in a group.

"Is she alright? Is Aya going to be okay?" He asked.

"Yes," I answered. "Her and her baby will live." Gaara had me sit down against the wall and he sat next to me. "But they will both need to be watched over carefully." I rested my head back against the wall and let out a breath, closing my eyes.

"Is she okay?" I heard someone ask.

I felt Gaara's hand brush against my arm. "Yes, she just needs to rest."

I stayed just like that and listened to everything around me, hearing the people interact with each other. But most importantly I concentrated on the smell of cooking food, waiting until I was able to eat something. My stomach is starting to hurt because I am hungry. I sat there for maybe an hour before I was nudged by Gaara. I looked over at him and happily took the bowl of food from his hands.

"Thank you," I mumbled before eating as quickly as I could. When it was gone I looked sadly at my empty bowl. But I knew with everyone who is living here I cannot ask for more. If anyone should get more food it should be the children. My bowl was taken from my hands and another was put in them. I glanced up at Gaara, then down at the full bowl of food he placed in my hands. "Gaara?"

He looked away from me. "Eat, you need your strength. I am not hungry." I stared at him until he looked at me. Not hungry my butt! He leaned closer and whispered quietly into my ear. "Do not forget I can be anywhere in seconds and get anything to eat I would like." Ah, so that is his reasoning.

But I caught him. "You would never leave me here alone. Even if only for a few seconds." He scowled at me. "Eat,"I put the bowl back into his hands. "These people need their Kazekage." I closed my eyes once more and placed my hands flat against the bottom of the basement. I quickly did a check of the walls and ceiling, making sure it is safe for them to be staying here. The walls are fairly sturdy, but the ceiling could use repairs here and there. But nothing that could put anyone's lives in danger.

I took a shaky breath and opened my eyes back up, sliding them over to Gaara. He was just setting the empty bowl down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. See, I knew he was hungry. He was just trying to be nice by offering it to me. Nice. Yes, I remember when he was nice to me all of the time. He only would listen to me. I remember Temari would send me to his office to tell him supper was done. If she went he would say he wasn't hungry and would go without eating. But if I went to get him, he almost always ended up coming home with me.

The Gaara back then isn't all that much different from the Gaara now. He is still as protective and jealous as ever. He is still as caring, though he is trying hard not to show it. What happened to the Gaara that used to give me those privet smiles? Are they saved only for the Twins now? Will I ever get to see one again?

I mentally smacked myself. I cannot think these things. That kiss was never meant to happen. I just used it as a way to get his attention. What happened after that never happened. Our relationship ended the night I died and left him alone. I hate that I have to keep reminding myself of my purpose.

I am here to die.

Not to get back with Gaara.

Not to watch my children grow.

I am here to die. To die for them. To make this world a better place for them to live in.

That is all. Nothing else.

"Doe?" I glanced over at Gaetan, sitting up from leaning against the wall. "How did you do that?" He asked. "It was amazing. How did you save my son's life?" Son? Well, it makes sense now.

I just smiled, cursing at myself in my head. How am I going to explain this? "I am a type of medic, all I did was give his heart the strength it needed to keep beating." That's enough explanation. I don't need to go into details. I could feel Gaara's eyes on me though I refused to look back.

Gaetan nodded, seeming to know I will not give him a full explanation. His son is alive, his sons mother is alive, that is all he needs. He peeked over at Gaara, but then looked back at me. "What now? What are we going to do?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

Again, his eyes darted to Gaara but then returned to me. "Are we to stay here to keep what is left of Suna safe? Or do we return with you and Kazekage-sama to wherever you came from?"

This time I did look at Gaara. And, sure enough, his eyes were still on me. "That is for the Kazekage to decide, Gaetan." I looked away from Gaara, meeting Gaetan's eyes. "Though I am sure you all will be more than welcome within Konoha's walls."

"Konoha?" came a girls voice. I glanced at the girl with black hair. "That is where you have been all of this time, Kazekage-sama?"

Gaara's shoulders lifted and sank slightly with his small sigh. "Yes, Kaori, that is where I have been along with the rest of the villagers."

Her jaw locked. "And Matsuri? Is Matsuri with you, Kazekage-sama?" Her voice was hard. Bitter.

I stood, my body going numb. "How do you know Matsuri?" I asked in a hushed whisper.

Gaara stood, too. "You know well she is not."

I repeated myself a little louder. "How do you know Matsuri?"

Kaori's eyes flashed between Gaara and I. "Matsuri is my sister." I felt like someone just splashed ice cold water down my back. "And he is the father of my nephew."

Pure rage was shown on Gaara's face. "There is no way to prove that!" He yelled at her. "Your sister was nothing more than a tramp! Any man in this room could have been the father."

A sudden calmness washed over me. I place a light hand on Gaara's arm, restraining him. "Let me see the boy." I whispered. Gaara glared at me, his muscles under his arm jumping. "Show me the boy," I said again, looking right into Kaori's brown eyes. The same ones Matsuri had. A imaged on her cold dead eyes staring at the sky flashed before me. I quickly banished it and repeated myself. "Show me the boy, now. I can settle this once and for all."

"Don't," Gaara warned as I moved to follow her. "Leave it be." I can still hear the anger in his voice. When did he become so bad at hiding his emotions?

I looked at him hard. The only reason he would be saying this is if there was a possibility that the child could, in fact, be his. Did he really sleep with her? I thought Kankuro said he would never dream of it. That she reminded him to much of me. Could that have been why he did it? Because he wanted to keep me close after my death? I brushed past him and followed Kaori across the room, stepping over people here and there.

We came to the woman who I had just helped, her son sleeping quietly against her chest. Aya was sound asleep. A boy sat next to her side, peering at the baby while not trying to wake the mother or son. When Kaori got closer the boy quickly moved away, a scowl on his face.

"Ryuu, come here," Kaori whispered. She held out her hand to the boy, but he just sat there, scowling. "Ryuu, come here now." With a glare in place he stood and slowly walked over, but didn't take her hand. "Ryuu, this is Doe. She is here with the Kazekage. They have come to take us from this place."

I looked down at the boy. Unlike both of his aunts he has brown orange hair, like his mother. And his eyes are the same brown color. I stared at him. His skin is pale, though so was Matsuri's ten years ago. It isn't uncommon to have pale skin. With the way his hair is cut, he looks a little like Gaara. And the set of the chin. I have seen it in Jessica. I smiled at him and bent down to his level, reaching out my hand.

"Hello, Ryuu, I am Doe." I made my smile bigger, hoping he would shake my hand. But he didn't. He just glared at me, his arms crossed over my chest.

"Well?" Kaori sighed.

I ignored her. I frowned at him and stood back up, looking down at him. He tilted his chin up so he could continue glaring at me. I sighed slightly. Well, I guess I am going to have to do this my way then. I reached out and placed my hand on the top of his head, shocking him slightly. I pushed a little bit of chakra into him, to numb him. It was more of a stunner so that he wouldn't attack me or pull away yet. I felt into his body, into his blood, into the genes that created him, trying to find similarities.

I lifted my hand and smiled at him. "It was nice to meet you, Ryuu." I ruffled his hair and smiled at Kaori. I then turned and walked back over to Gaara, trying not to step on anyone. His eyes were guarded, his face carefully blank. I looked up at him for a few long seconds. "Looks like you have two sons, Kazekage-sama," I whispered to him. His eyes closed and his hand came to rest over his face. "Congratulations."

The only thought going through my head was one that had me turning bitter.

I killed that boys mother.

And Gaara had let me.

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**As things start to move along, how do you think things will turn out?**


	23. The Boy

**Here it is! Chapter 22 :)**

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Chapter 22, The Boy.

I watched the sun rise above the crumbled walls of Suna by myself. Everyone is packing to leave this morning. They will all be returning with us to Konoha. Tsunade has sent out a few people to help them travel safely, and also so Gaara and I can get back to the village before many realized we ever left. A footstep behind me had me turning around.

"Ryuu? Is something wrong?" I asked, looking down at the boy. He is maybe nine years old. Not much younger than the Twins.

He shook his head, but continued to stand there. I smiled softly at him and held out my hand, not at all surprised when he took it. I walked him back towards the others, who were just coming out of the basement to stretch before their long journey. Shikamaru and Ino should be arriving any time to bring them home. I brought him over to where Kaori was helping Aya strap her son to her back. But Ryuu didn't let go of my hand, he didn't want to travel with them. And from what I have observed, they do not want him along with them.

"He is a menace," Kaori had told me. "He doesn't know how to do anything and makes everything harder for everyone."

I held tightly to his hand and lead him right past those women towards where Shikamaru and Ino have just arrived. "Ino!" She glanced over, smiling when she saw me. Good, I am glad she remembers my new face. "Ryuu, this is Ino. She will watch over you on your way to Konoha, okay?" Ino smiled down at him.

He shook his head, tugging on my hand. I bent down so he could whisper in my ear. "Why can't I travel with you?"

I smiled and smoothed his hair from his face. "Because I need to leave right away with the Kazekage. But I promise I will be at the gates waiting for you when you get to Konoha, okay?" He scowled at the ground. "And I don't want you to give Ino any trouble at all, alright? There will be a surprise for you if you are good for her." He glanced up at me, a little light back in his eyes. So that is the trick. "But you have to be good. And you have to make sure to help anyone who needs it, okay?" He nodded, reaching for Ino's hand. When hers was within his grasp he reluctantly let go of mine, frowning. "I will see you in Konoha." I waved to them as I walked off.

Gaara was waiting for me, having just finished giving Shikamaru instructions. "Ready?" I nodded, not meeting his eyes. Gaara went to put his arm around my waist, but I took a step back, holding out my hand to him. I know that he can transport me just as well with my hand in his grasp. He took it and the sand swirled around us.

"About time you two got back!" Tsunade huffed. She took another swig from her bottle and set it down on the table with a clunk.

Sakura sighed. "Tsunade-sama, you were being so good about drinking... What happened?"

Tsunade smirked and pointed at me. "That, my dear, is what happened."

I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room without a backwards glance at any of them. It would be nice to find Jiraiya-sama. I wouldn't mind having another heart-to-heart conversation with him about things I need to get off my chest. Why has he, of all people, become my confident? I sighed at myself. I have no idea what I am doing anymore. Sure enough, though, as soon as I walked out of the Hokage tower, there he was. Leaning against the wall with his privet smile.

"Need to chat?" Jiraiya chuckled.

I rolled my eyes but smiled anyway. We walked down to one of the only remaining training fields. This is the one that I first sparred with Kakashi on. So long ago that was. It seems like more than a couple lifetimes ago. What am I doing here? Trying to save the world? Is that some kind of joke? It seems like things are only getting more complicated the longer I stay. I killed Ryuu's mother. And Gaara is Ryuu's father. And now Ryuu is somehow attached to me? What happened to my children? It is them that is supposed to want to hold my hand any chance they get. Not Ryuu. He should hate me. I killed his mother.

"What's going through your head?" Jiraiya asked softly.

I glanced over at him. "Gaara has another son. Ryuu. He is Matsuri's."

Jiraiya nodded, encouraging me to go on.

I scoffed at myself. "And all of this time I thought Gaara would never go for someone like her. What was he thinking? He should have known she would only want to get pregnant to have power over him! I guess that backfired on her alright." I sat down next to a tree and glared at the ground in front of me. "I shouldn't feel angry. I'm the one who left him. And he tried to move on. I get that. I understand that. But why do I feel so angry?" I looked helplessly up at Jiraiya, hoping he could give me some sort of reason. Or that he could tell me I am being stupid and I need to stop being angry. I need to say it is something a small kid would feel.

But he just stood there, leaning against a tree watching me. "You have every right to be angry. In your view, you did not leave him. You were taken from him. Correct?" I swallowed hard. "When you came back here you thought everything could go back to the way it was before. You wanted everyone to welcome you with open arms. Most have done that. But you expected Gaara to be waiting for you to come back. You didn't want to think that maybe he had moved on, gotten with someone else. Kira, sweetheart, you need to let go of him."

I felt the tears and put my head down, pulling slightly at my hair. "I can't," I whispered.

Jiraiya placed a hand on my shoulder. "It is not a can or cannot situation. You have to. Once you do, you can do what you came here to do."

I shook my head, trying to keep in the tears. How can I do that? How can I just let him go? I waited ten whole years to be able to see him again. Somehow, deep down, I had always known I would get a second chance. Maybe it was just a hope that is now reality. My chance is here. But why can't I take it? A sob tore through my throat and I pressed my face tightly into my knees.

I can't let him go.

– –

Here he comes. Matsuri's son, his hand tightly locked with Ino's. Ryuu was searching all of the faces that waited at the gates, looking for mine. Why is he so attached to me? Is it because I showed him a small kindness by smiling and talking with him? Is that how Gaara was when he was that age? I stepped around a few people and waved to him. The way his eyes lit up had my heart clenching.

I killed his mother.

"Hi Ryuu," I called to him. He ran over, hugging me tightly. "I told you I would be waiting here for you." I messed his hair and smiled down at him.

He looked up at me and stood back, reaching for my hand. I let him hold it as I lead him away. Tsunade wants to meet him. We walked though the streets with everyone looking at us. Staring. Just like they used to do to me. At least they do not whisper. I would not be able to stand that treatment towards a child. We reached the Hokage tower and entered. I brought him right up to Tsunade's office.

He hid behind me as we entered, his hand tightening on mine. I just rubbed my thumb against his skin, hoping to calm him as much as I could. There is no reason for him to be afraid. I will protect him from anything. Even Gaara. I didn't glance at the red head as I walked Ryuu over to Tsunade's desk, pulling him around to stand in front of me for her to see him. Tsunade looked him over carefully, then her eyes moved to mine.

"Tsunade-sama, this is Ryuu." I smoothed back his hair and smile down at him when he looked up at me. "With your permission I would like to watch over him for the time being."

There was a squeak as Gaara turned in his chair to look at me. I could feel his eyes like hot coals burning my flesh.

Tsunade took a deep breath and sat back, staring at the boy. "He is from Suna, Doe. You will need to ask the Kazekage for that kind of permission. I hold no objections, though."

I wanted to punch her. How can she leave such a thing to him? Of all people! But I simply turned to looked over at Gaara, who was scowling at me. Ryuu is definitely his. They have the same scowl. Will Gaara ever accept this child as his own? I don't see how he cannot. They have the same attitude. I gave Ryuu's shoulders a reassuring squeeze. I met Gaara's eyes head on. And I lifted my chin, trying to show I will not take no for an answer. I killed his mother. And now I will take care of him. A chance Matsuri will never have.

Gaara stared at me hard. "Do as you think best," he said slowly.

I nodded and took Ryuu's hand back in my own. "Come on, Ryuu, I will show you where you will be living now."

– –

"Goodnight, Ryuu," I whispered as I closed his door.

Having two bedrooms in my new apartment is actually very handy now. He can have his own room, his own area. I walked out onto the small balcony off the living room and smelt the flowers Ino had given me to put out here. I picked off a dead flower and dropped it off the side. I hope having him here is not a mistake. I know there is no way I can make up for killing his mother, but I hope I can bring a little more light into his life. His own family hated him. His aunts wanted nothing to do with him at all. Is that why he is so quiet?

I felt him standing behind me, appearing out of thin air. I hadn't felt him coming, nor had I heard him. He was just there. I slowly turned and met his eyes with my own. "What do you want, Gaara?" I asked in a hushed whisper. I do not know if Ryuu is asleep yet. For all I know he felt Gaara, too, and is listening right now.

"Why is he here?" Gaara asked. His voice was blank, monotone. "Why are you being so kind to him?"

I scoffed at him. "He is a boy, Gaara. A boy that has never known anything but distaste and hate. But you know all about how that feels, don't you?" His jaw worked back and forth. "I will not let him grow up without anyone here for him. I am not his mother, and I cannot bring her back. But I will not let him suffer."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "What about Jessica and Yukio? They grew up without their mother."

I felt a stab in my heart. I don't get how that is my fault. "But they had a father who loved them." Yes, I hope that hurt you, Gaara. I hope you realize that you cannot ignore this child now that you know he is yours. "How can you do this to him? Why do you want him to grow up without anyone? Do you want him to turn out like you did? Do you want him to be a monster? You had your siblings. He doesn't have that. How can you do this to him?"

His stare turned into a glare. "I do not know what you are talking about."

"Bullshit!" I yelled at him. I quickly reminded myself Ryuu is trying to sleep. "Do not lie to me, Gaara."

His jaw continued to work, but he said nothing.

I cannot believe him. I do not understand him. He knows the pain of growing up alone. How can he put that off onto someone else? Gaara lost his mother at birth, Ryuu just lost his. It is harder losing something once you know what it is like to have it. I felt a shock, like cold water splashed on my face. Is that why I cannot let go? I felt what it was like to have Gaara's love, and I felt what it was like to lose it. I could so easily get it back. All I have to do is kiss him and it is mine. He is mine.

I turned away from him and stared out at the moon. Is the real reason I want to take care of this child because I want to feel like I am closer to him? Ryuu is Gaara's son. He is apart of Gaara. If I can have Ryuu, will he be enough to allow me to let Gaara go?

"Kira," Gaara whispered in my ear. So soft. I barely caught it. But it sent shivers down my spine. It has been so long since he whispered my name. His hand rubbed my arm, his other brushing my hair over one shoulder. I stood there, trying to ignore him. But when he lightly kissed my neck I knew I had to stop him.

"Stop," I whispered, moving away from him. I put my back against the railing and held up my hand when he tried to move closer. "We've been over this before, Gaara. I am only here for one reason."

Emotions swirled in his eyes, so fast I could not tell what they were. "You cannot tell me you do not want this." He reached out and ran his hand over the side of my face, then traced my eyes with his fingertips. I turned my face away.

"I think you should leave." It was hard to say those words, but I knew I needed to say them. Ryuu is inside. I need to think of him. I am the one who will be caring for him now.

"Show me your face," he whispered. "Show me what you really look like." He took a step closer, grabbing my hand when I tried to push him away. "Show me." He stepped closer yet, coming so close my breasts brushed against his chest. I leaned back against the railing, trying to put space between us. "Please. Show me."

I shook my head. "You need to leave. Now."

His hand tightened around my lower arm. His face ducked down, his hair covering his eyes. "Don't do this to me, Kira," he whispered. When he looked back up at me I could only see pain in his eyes. "Do not do this to me. I have been patient. I have given you space. Please, do not keep pushing me away."

I swallowed hard. "I am telling you to leave."

His eyes hardened, his hand tightening. "I won't."

I tried shoving him away from me, but he didn't move. We cannot do this. "Leave now or I will get Naruto."

Gaara scoffed, moving closer yet. "He does not scare me. And he cannot keep me away from what is mine."

That pissed me off. "I am not yours!" I hissed at him. "I am not something that can be owned!" I shoved him as hard as I could at his chest, bulging my muscles so I had more force. If it wasn't for his sand he would have smashed into my apartment. "Get out." I walked past him and shut the door, closing the curtains so he could not see in.

A whole bunch of swear words tumbled out of my mouth as I set to washing the dishes. I can't believe him! How dare he thinks I am "his." I am not something that can be tossed around as a possession. He makes me so mad! A plate slipped from my hands and I jumped out of the way before it shattered and cut up my feet. But it never shattered. I opened my eyes that I hadn't realized I closed to see it flouting in the air. Sand set it back down on the counter.

I was about to scream my head off at Gaara for not leaving when I saw Ryuu standing in the doorway of the kitchen. His expression was that of worry. Oh my god. Was that him who just caught the plate? With _sand_? And Gaara dares say that child isn't his? I smiled at him. "Thank you, Ryuu." I took the plate and wiped it off, putting it in the cupboard with the others. "Why aren't you in bed?"

He shrugged.

I sighed and leaned against the counter. "You need to talk to me, Ryuu. I can't help you if I don't know what is wrong."

He looked down and shuffled his feet. "I felt someone here," he whispered. "I was making sure you were okay. You sounded angry."

I smiled a small smile and walked over to him, ruffling his hair. "Yes, I'm okay. You don't have to worry about me. Now, go back to bed. When you wake up in the morning I will make you something yummy to eat, okay?" He nodded and went back to bed. When he reached the bedroom door he glanced back at me, a frown on his face. But before I could decipher where it came from he was already in his room, shutting the door softly behind him.

I sighed and rubbed my face hard.

I'm ready for bed.

But bed is obviously not ready for me. I walked over to the door, which someone is now knocking on, and opened it with a small glare. Naruto grinned at me. "What do you want?" I groaned. I let him in and swung the door shut behind him. "Be quiet, though. Ryuu is sleeping."

He nodded and went over to the couch, flopping down. "I just had a nice chat with Gaara."

I groaned again and sat on the couch next to him, laying my head down on the arm. "And?"

He shrugged and was silent for a few minutes. I had almost fallen asleep when he started talking. "What he did was wrong, and I told him that. In fact, we got in a fight about it. See, right here is my proof." Naruto pointed to his chin, which was all red. Probably from Gaara's fist. "But you can't keep lying to him. Wait, wait, wait!" Naruto held his hands up defensively when I went to yell at him. "I know you have feelings for him. I know you always have had them. I can see it. He can see it. Everyone can see it. You need to tell him. Telling him doesn't mean you have to do anything about them. But do not lie to him."

I sighed heavily and rubbed my face hard. "You know if I say those words to him he will never leave me alone. Right now I can keep him at bay. Because he thinks I have changed and therefor my feelings could have changed." I shook my head and rubbed my face again. "I am here to fight. That is it. Naruto, I have no doubt I will die in this war. That is why my babies do not know who I am. That is why Gaara has never, and will never, hear those words from me."

Naruto shifted. "You aren't going to die," he whispered.

I scoffed at him and sat up, looking at him with a raised brow. "Do you honestly believe that? Naruto, when people find out who I am, which they will on the battle field, I will be their target. I only hope I can kill enough people to tip the tide in our favor. Think about it, I'm the one person in this world who can do _anything_. You have no idea how far my range has grown."

He shifted again, frowning at his feet. "You may become the enemies biggest target, but you are also going to be the most protected once everyone finds out who you are. Do you really think everyone will leave you on your own once they realize who you are?" I sighed again, closing my eyes as I laid my head down. "Everyone still talks about you," he chuckled. "I was laying in bed the other night with Hinata and she brought something up that reminded us of you. We couldn't stop laughing. You always brought smiles to everyone's face."

I swallowed the guilt and kept my eyes closed. Maybe he will think I fell asleep and leave.

Naruto stood from the couch and stood in front of me. I could feel his breath on my ear. "Whatever your decision," he whispered, "I will always stand by you. Even if that means beating the shit out of Gaara. Goodnight, Kira." He kissed the side of my face and was gone.

I sighed and stretched my legs out. The couch is just as good as my bed.

* * *

**Naruto has finally declared his loyalty to Kira. Now what? Tell me what you think! :)**


	24. Never

**It has been long enough since I have last updated, I think! So, here you are!**

* * *

Chapter 23, Never.

Jessica glanced to the right, her concentration slipping. I grabbed her chin and turned her eyes back to mine. Her brow lowered in concentration, but it wasn't long before it slipped and she looked to the right again. I sighed. Maybe bringing Ryuu to watch wasn't such a good idea. Jessica can't concentrate and Yukio keeps glaring at him. The twins are sitting near me, Ryuu no where near them, but within their sight. And that's all they need to have their concentration slip. But Ryuu won't leave my side. He doesn't trust anyone else.

"Alright," I stood up. "Ryuu, come here please." Jessica and Yukio stood up, too, watching as he slowly made his way over. I waited until he was standing next to me to speak again. "Yukio and Ryuu, I would like you two to spar. No blood." I took Jessica's hand and we walked a safe distance away. "Begin!" I called to them. Jessica and I sat on the ground to watch them. They began fighting each other, using only hand to hand for the time being. "Now, Jessica," I said softly to her. She looked at me. "I want you to manipulate the air around them. See if you can make them float without their knowledge of it. You will need to concentrate very hard to achieve this. Begin."

Jessica's eyes closed and her hands sat palms up on her knees. She took a deep breath and began to concentrate, her brow turning down into a frown.

I felt a hand on my shoulder without even realizing someone was standing behind me. Gaara lifted his hand when I looked up at him. He nodded away from the three kids and started walking away. I stood and moved away from them, hoping my movement didn't distract them at all. I followed Gaara a little ways off, but still within sight of all three encase something went wrong and they needed me. I was still watching them carefully, also keeping a careful eye on Jessica. There is no telling if the boys could get out of hand and accidentally hurt her.

"Why are you having him train with them?" Gaara asked, trying to keep his voice blank.

I smiled to myself. "What? Do you not like all of your children training together? I thought it would be helpful if they had something in common."

I heard the sound of his leather vest stretching over his muscles as he crossed his arms. I could almost hear the sound of his teeth grinding together. "And if he hurts them?" He ground out. "What then?"

"Then they will heal. And he will learn." I was about to run over to them as Ryuu was thrown to the ground by Yukio, but he was up and back at it before I could shift my weight to my other foot. I could feel the anger rolling off of Gaara. I turned to look at him for the first time since two nights ago when I shut him out of my apartment. He has trimmed his hair a little. He looks a lot more like the Gaara I remember ten years ago. "They are children. What they have known all their lives before now can and will be changed. You were about their age when you changed, correct? If I remember right, you were a couple years older. You are in no position to say that boy can not change. So don't you dare label him like that."

Gaara's jaw muscles twitched as he stared out at the children.

I stared at him hard, knowing he was watching me from the corner of his eye. "They are all your children. All three of them. Ryuu can command the sand, did you know that? Did you know you have a son who is so much like his father it is scary? He came out to see if I was okay after you left. He was worried you had hurt me." Gaara looked at me this time. "Do you want him to grow up like you did? An outcast. Hated by everyone around him. Labeled as a killer. Without a mother or father. I cannot bring Matsuri back. But I can try my hardest to be there for him. You knew who your parents were. He doesn't even have that."

I walked away from him, leaving him with this anger and his thoughts.

I was surprised to see the boys start to lift off the ground. I stood away from Jessica, so I didn't break her concentration. That is something she needs to work on. Staying focused is hard for her. She needs to learn how to work with distractions. When she is in a battle, no one will stop so she can concentrate. I am hoping by using the boys as practice dummies will help. They do not stand still, it is harder for her to lift them off the ground. And the fact that there is two of them, separate bodies moving in separate directions.

The boys clashed with each other, but being careful not to draw blood from each other. They are doing good at following my directions.

Suddenly both of them were tossed a dozen feet up in the air, just as they clashed, wrestling with each other. Jessica stood, her hands out towards them as she glared with her concentration. She is getting good. I watched as they floated around the sky, oblivious to the fact their feet are no longer on the ground. It is almost like they are swimming to attack each other now. All they can see is the other one and the need to over power them. Just like their father they need to have the upper hand. They can't let the other one win. I sighed. They are going to be a handful.

I could see Jessica's strength getting sapped from her body. The were starting to drop. I loosened my hands, ready to catch them if she accidentally dropped them. But she didn't she carefully lowered them until they were two feet from the ground, then she dropped them hard to get their attention. Not enough of a fall to hurt anything, but enough to bring them out of their fight. The two of them looked around to see what happened. Jessica fell to her knees, trying to catch her breath. I walked over and placed my hand on her upper back.

"You did a magnificent job, Jess," I smiled down at her. She smiled back at me and sat back on her legs, looking over at the boys. "You two did great," I called to them. "That is enough for today. I'm sure you will both have some nice bruises to show off tomorrow. Shake hands and come over here." They did so grudgingly and shuffled their feet until they came over to where Jessica and I were. "What did you two learn?"

Ryuu looked down at his feet, his face blank. Yukio crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the ground. So much like their father. It was Yukio who spoke first. "I learned that I need to train more. There is no way this guy is at the same level as me."

Ryuu glared at him. "Same level? I'm much better than you are!" This is the first time I have heard him speak loudly. "If they hadn't stopped us I could have beaten you!"

Yukio glared at him. "No you couldn't have! I had the upper hand, and you know it. Five more minutes and I would have had you begging for mercy!"

I smiled to myself and stepped in between them. "Now boys, none of that. You are teammates, and teammates do not fight. They help each other learn to get better." I turned my eyes to Jessica. "What did you learn today, Jess?"

She smiled brightly at me. "I learned I can make people fly!" Her smile slowly went away, though. "But it takes a lot of concentration. I need to keep practicing so I can do it without thinking to hard about it someday. And I need to learn how to use my powers while others are trying to distract me."

I nodded, proud of my little girl. "Good, very good." A movement caught my eye. Gaara was walking over, his hands swinging loosely by his sides. Has Mr. Tough Guy finally given in? "And, you, Kazekage? What do you think could help these children learn?"

He glanced down at his daughter. "I think Jessica is right, she needs to keep practicing." He looked at Yukio next. "And I think Yukio needs to learn how to think everything through before he hits. Muscle does not always win in a fight. Brains almost always comes out on top." Then his eyes landed on Ryuu. Gaara was silent for to long of a second. Ryuu looked down, a scowl on his face. "And I think Ryuu needs to learn how to use others weaknesses against them."

I felt my eyes widen. That is not what he needs to learn. "How so?" I asked a little harder than I meant to. The anger between me and Gaara does not need to be shown to the children.

Gaara is looking at me now. "Like you said, Doe, others do not play fair."

I locked my jaw. So many things I want to yell at him right now. How dare he! They are children! It hasn't come to that. And if I can do anything about it, it never will. What I said was only meant to scare everyone into accepting what is happening. The adults are the only ones who need to learn to fight dirty. It is something the children should never learn. Not at this stage. "That is all for now," I said between my teeth. "Why don't you three run along. I need to have a chat with the Kazekage."

Yukio ran off the instant I was done talking. Ryuu kept glancing at me as he slowly walked off, probably heading towards the apartment. Jessica ran up to Gaara and wrapped her arms around his leg. "Daddy," she whispered. He looked down at her and brushed some hair from her eyes. "Don't be mean to Doe-sensei. She is only trying to help us." After she said that Jessica was off running in the direction her brother had gone in.

I fisted my hands by my side to keep from out right attacking him. "Don't you ever, _ever_, tell him that again." I hissed at him.

"Why?" A mocking look came to his face. "He is my son. I can say whatever I want to him."

"He is a child. You do not say that shit to a child." I popped my knuckles, trying to contain my anger. Why does he always piss me off so much? Does he do it on purpose? I ran my nails along my arm, leaving red marks. I need to find something to hit before I go mad with my anger. How does he do this to me?

Gaara scoffed and raised his chin, crossing his arms over his chest. The way he was looking down at me set me off. That's it. I can't take it anymore. I walked over to him, my feet heavy on the earth. Before he knew it, my fist connected with his jaw and sent him to the ground with the power I put into it.

"You are such an ass," I hissed at him, pulling my fist back to punch him again.

But Gaara was up and blocking my attacks. I moved to kick him, but he grabbed my ankle before I could fully swing my leg at him. I twisted my body and brought my other foot around, using his grip on my ankle to propel myself. Gaara spun me around, trying to grab me to pin my arms. But, nope, I'm not going down so easily. I jabbed my elbow into his stomach, and his grip loosened on me. I spun out of his grabbing range and tried to punch him again, but he knocked my hand away. His hand grabbed for me again, but I quickly spun, using his shoulder to push myself up into the air and behind him. I kicked him from behind, sending him to the ground once more.

"Don't you ever try that crap in front of them again," I hissed at him. Gaara stared up at me with wide eyes from the ground. "And never, ever, think I can't beat your ass."

I spun on my heal and strode off, leaving him on the ground to wallow in his shock and anger. There isn't anyone I can't beat when it comes to my babies. I will kill anyone who tries to hurt them. That much has been proven.

– –

"Ryuu! Come eat!"

I set a plate of food down on the table as he sat down, looking at it hungrily. "Thank you," he whispered as he started shoveling it down his throat.

"Slow down, you can have more if you want it." I laughed. I went back into the small kitchen area to get myself some food but there was a knock at the door. I took a sip of wine before I went to answer it. "Yes?" I opened the door only to want to slam it on the person who was standing there. "What do you want, Gaara?"

He wasn't looking at me. He was looking off to the left. There was a whisper and he was nudged from behind. I peeked around him to catch sight of red tinted brown hair. Gaara cleared his throat to bring my attention back to him. "I have come to apologize to you," he said. He still wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Is that so?" I couldn't hide the amusement if I had wanted to.

Now he looked at me, a small glare in his eyes. "Yes. I do believe I was out of line earlier this evening." Gaara gritted his teeth, trying not to say what he was obviously being forced to say. There was another whisper and he was nudged again. "I am sorry, Doe. Please accept my apology."

I lifted my hand to hide my smile. He glared at me hard. He is so wrapped around that little girls finger! She could get him to do anything if she wanted to. "I accept, for your sake," I whispered the last part. "Would you and your little commander like something to eat?" Jessica squealed and was already sitting at the table when I turned around. I laughed and grabbed her a plate of food. "Are you hungry, Gaara?" I asked, setting the plate down in front of her. "I made more than enough for us all."

He declined, moving to sit on the couch in front of the TV.

I sat down the the children and ate and talked with them. Ryuu seems to be warming up to his sister, talking with her here and there. I tried to keep him in the conversation, but he put himself in it more than I ever thought he would. I am proud he is warming up to everyone. I even got to see his smile. Jessica shared a few stories from when she was growing up. The pranks her and her brother played on their Aunt and Uncle. I was laughing so hard at some of them I started to cry.

Soon we were all sitting on the couch watching a movie Jessica picked out. Both the of kids fell asleep before it was over. I ran my fingers through Ryuu's hair, lost in thought about the small boy asleep with his head on my lap. Did he even know his mother? Kankuro said Matsuri left Suna after Gaara told her off for the rumors. Did she already have Ryuu by then? I can't imagine just getting up and leaving my kid behind. The night I killed her she was bothered by something. Could she have been wishing she brought Ryuu with her?

Jessica sighed in her sleep, bringing me from my thoughts. I looked over at her and Gaara. Gaara had her nestled in his lap, her arm around his neck and her face on his chest. What a daddy's little girl she is. Where is Yukio tonight? He didn't come over with them. And he hasn't shown up. Maybe he is doing boy stuff with Kankuro tonight. I am glad they can be their own person. One of my friends in New York had twins and they were inseparable. They did everything the same and never left the others side. What kind of life is that? No, I'm glad the twins are how they are. They are perfect the way they are.

I sighed lightly and shifted slowly, trying not to wake Ryuu up. I felt Gaara's eyes on me the second I moved. He would never be here right now if it wasn't for Jessica. I wouldn't allow him to be. Naruto is wrong. I cannot tell him. I cannot let him go. How will I be able to go on if I see him with another woman? I will be crushed. I can't let him go. But I cannot be with him. Why must I have this inner turmoil? Why must I act like a small child who doesn't want to give up their blanket?

"We should get them to bed," I whispered. I shifted again, trying to lift Ryuu to bring him to his room. But the boy was suddenly weightless and floating in the air. I looked over at Gaara to see him holding Jessica in his arms, already standing. I lead the way to Ryuu's bedroom and pulled down the blankets for Gaara to set him under. I pulled the blanket snug around his chin. "Goodnight," I whispered. "Sleep well."

I closed the door and turned around, not at all surprised to see Gaara still standing there. I walked over to him and and looked at my little girl. My little girl who doesn't know I am her Mommy. I brushed back a strand of her hair and smiled gently at her. She is so beautiful. Yukio is going to have a hard time when she starts dating. I can already see the protectiveness he has over her. I ran my fingers down her cheek. She has definitely changed. She was a horror of a child when she was in my womb. She wanted nothing more than to hurt me.

Did my leaving change that in her? Because I was not around for her to hurt, did she grow into a sweet girl? It saddens me to think she used to hate me. Because I wouldn't allow her to be near her father. But Jessica is so much like me. I don't understand how it mattered. Yukio is like his father, yet he was always the nice one, trying to stay out of his sisters tantrum fits. And when I first saw them, that day in Tsunade's office, Jessica had put a sunk in his bed! Obviously there is still that little devil within her. I just haven't seen it since then.

I looked up into Gaara's eyes, knowing he was watching me. He isn't the mean Father that hates his other son. No, definitely not. He is nothing like his father. He just feels threatened. He feels that Ryuu will destroy what he has right now, because Ryuu's mother is Matsuri and that is what she tried over and over to do to him and I.

Before I even realized, his lips were against my forehead. "Goodnight," he whispered.

And he was gone, Jessica with him.

When morning came I brought Ryuu to the academy and left him with Iruka, who to my surprise is graying. I never thought he was that much older than I. After I left I went straight to Tsunade's office. My mind is thinking, I hope Gaara isn't there. But my heart is screaming, please let him be there! I know leading him around like I am is not a good thing. And I know he doesn't like it. But, if I tell him my feelings, he will think that is an okay for whatever he wants. So how could I ever say those words to him?

I sighed angrily and ran up the many steps to the top floor. The door opened as I reached the top and out came Temari. I haven't had much time to talk with her at all. Seeing her right now I have a strong feeling of home sickness. I miss Suna. I smiled at her as I passed, she only looked at me with a confused frown. I quickly entered Tsunade's office and shut the door behind me. To my hearts contentment, there is Gaara, sitting at his desk flipping through some paperwork. Does he ever stop doing paper work?

He looks so similar to the way he looked ten years ago. And when he looked up at me with those piercing green eyes I had such a strong sense of deja-vu. I sighed mentally. Tsunade is no where to be seen. Temari had been in here talking with her brother. Great. So now I am left alone, in this room, alone, with Gaara. Did I mention I am alone in a room with Gaara? Yeah, we are here, all alone, just the two of us, in this empty room. Alone. Just me and him. Just the two of us. Just me standing here staring at the floor and just him who is now standing up and walking over to me. Yup, just the two of us.

Gaara reached out and turned me so I was facing him. "I am guessing I am not the one you came here to see."

I shook my head, trying not to look at him.

Gaara's hand touched my face. "Then why haven't you left?" He tilted my chin so I had to look up at him. His green eyes pierced into my soul.

How can I possibly tell him? How can I not tell him? This man has made so many things in my life so very complicated and hard to deal with. I was forced by Konoha to leave him after the plague and because of him it was something overly hard to accomplish. And I was back with him in the end. I tried so hard to protect him and Suna, yet both were taken away from me. Ten years ago I gave birth to his children. It has been ten years since I have actually hugged him. Ten years since I have freely smiled and laughed with him.

I took a shaky breath and tilted my head ever so slightly. I tightly closed my eyes, hoping to block off his entrance into my heart.

I felt his thumb trace my lips.

I couldn't force myself to move away from him. I couldn't force myself to push him away. Is it because we are finally truly alone?

He must have been holding his breath because I never felt it before his lips touched mine. Gaara kissed me gently, pulling back only slightly to see if I would pull away. When I did not he kissed me again. Shit, this can't happen. I need to stop this. I reached up around his neck and fisted a hand in his hair, pulling his face away from mine. His eyes held slight humor when I looked into them.

"You're such a jerk," I whispered, tightening my hand in his hair.

He smirked. "You are such a brat."

Brat? I felt my eye brow raise. Despite my tight hold on his hair he leaned down and kissed me again, much harder this time. His hands were on my back, pulling me until I was flush against him. I can't stand this man. I really can't. But I can't get enough of him. He is everything I want. My other hand involuntarily ran up his chest and gripped the back of his neck, pulling his face harder against mine.

"Hey Gaara, what's with all of these-Whoa. Never mind." Kankuro slammed the door shut, jumping me enough to shove Gaara hard and take five steps away from him.

I couldn't help but stare at him with big eyes. As if that just happened. Kankuro will never let it go, either. Shit. What did I just do? Gaara frowned. "Do not regret what makes you happy," he whispered.

I took a deep breath and turned away from him, looking out the window to try to distract myself. I do not want to cry. Not in front of him. I have never regretted him. I will never regret him. How could I ever regret him? He is the only one who I have loved with all of my heart. Gaara's hands slid down my arms and he rested his chin on the top of my head. No, I can never regret him. I turned to face him, putting my face into his neck and wrapping my arms around his torso. Never ever. Gaara hugged me tightly to him.

I have never, and will never, regret Gaara.

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	25. Plans

**Well, here it is! Chapter 24 :) Enjoy!**

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Chapter 24, Plans.

I took a deep breath, bringing Gaara's sent deep into my lungs, and slowly loosened my grip, pulling away from him. I looked up to meet his eyes. "One of us had better go talk to Kankuro. He is probably flipping a lid right now."

Gaara smirked, leaning down to kiss me once more. And I let him. I even kissed him back.

What am I doing?

"I will deal with my brother," he said.

I nodded and pulled out of his tight grip, putting him at a arms distance. Now, time to test his patients. "Gaara, you probably do not want to hear this at all..." I waited until he lifted his brow, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly. Just like he used to when he was curious about what I was going to say. "But you need to do something about Ryuu... He is your son."

And that was that.

Gaara became guarded and took a step back, his eyes not meeting mine. "I will deal with Kankuro." And he was gone in a swirl of sand.

I rolled my eyes and looked around. I am in his office. Alone. With his desk free for spying. I hummed a little as I sat behind his desk, glancing out the window to make sure no one was peeking in at me. I probably shouldn't be doing this, but I can't help it. I need to know if he has some sort of lover right now. I opened the left top drawer and shuffled through its contents. Boring Kazekage stuff. I moved to the one below it but it was full of the same old boring Kage stuff. I checked the right side only to be even more disappointed. But when I tried to open the one middle drawer I found it to be locked.

Now why would Gaara, of all people, have a locked drawer? Never knew him to be the secretive type.

I made a small key out of the dirt on the floor and unlocked it, slowly pulling it open. My eyes met the same boring desk stuff. I sighed. There must be _some_ reason for Gaara to keep this one locked. I shuffled through the top papers. Nothing. I sighed and was about to close it when something caught my eye. The corner of a picture. I pushed the papers over it off and stared at it. Tears came to my eyes. I remember this picture.

It was back before I left Suna, before everything started happening. When everything was good and we used to hang out all of the time. When we were falling in love. Temari had taken the picture. I was helping Gaara out in his office that day, helping him get done his paper work so he could train with me. But that particular moment I had wanted to distract him. I was standing behind his chair, holding my hand up behind his head giving him the bunny ears when she took the picture. I was smiling like an idiot and he looked grumpy as hell with his chin on his fist as he glared at the camera. It was back when everything was good and happy.

I quickly covered the picture back up and shut the drawer, making sure to lock it back up. I quickly got out of his chair and practically ran from his office.

Why does he still have that picture?

Of all things to save from Suna's destruction, why that picture?

– –

That night I tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep no matter how hard I tried.

I finally got up and went out to the living room, staring at the balcony door. Gaara and I used to sit on the roof every morning to watch the sun rise back in Suna. I went out onto the balcony and jumped up onto the roof. It's empty. Did I expect him to be sitting there waiting for me like he used to? This isn't his house. It is my apartment. Why would he be on my roof?

I picked a spot that faced where the sun would rise and laid back on the cool roofing. Maybe this is exactly what I need to fall asleep. A nice cool breeze on my cheeks and a nice cool place to lay down. The heat is killing me. I laughed at that. Suna would be much hotter during the day. Though, the night would be two times colder than here. I sighed and closed my eyes, loving the feel of the breeze on my face.

The taps of two feet landing on the roof had me opening my eyes back up and looking to the right. And sure enough, there stood my red headed wanna-be knight. I smiled at him and looked back up at the stars. "May I join you?" He asked softly. I shrugged. Gaara sat down next to me and leaned back on his hands, just like he used to do.

And we sat in silence, just like old times.

I must have dozed off at some point because when I opened my eyes back up the sky was starting to turn that brilliant pink and orange color. I smiled and sat up, ready to see the sun. Gaara shifted next to me, also sitting up. Did he get some sleep? I doubt it. From the looks of the rings under his eyes he hasn't slept for awhile. I yawned and stretched my arms out. Ryuu will be up soon. He always gets up once the sun rises. Does he watch it from his window?

Soon the sun appeared, casting its warmth over my face. I hugged my jacket closer and smiled. Wait. Jacket? I don't remember putting on a jacket. I looked down to see Gaara's jacket wrapped around me. I looked over at him. He must be cold only wearing that vest of his. Gaara must have seen me staring at him, because he looked over at me. Before I talked myself out of it I scooted closer to him and grabbed his face, pulling his lips to mine. It is going to be so much harder to let him go now. Gaara's arm went around my back and pulled me even closer.

But I had to pull away. I have Ryuu to think about. "The children should be waking up soon," I whispered. "They will need their Daddy home."

Gaara's mouth opened slightly, and his expression showed he was debating with himself about saying something. His eyes lifted to mine and his mouth closed. I lifted my brow and tilted my head to the side, imitating Gaara's curious face. "They need their Mommy home, too." He said hesitantly.

Well, that's that.

I stood and handed him his jacket back, trying to choke back the tears before they spilled. When he didn't take it I dropped it on the roof and jumped down to my balcony, but I only made it that far before his arms wrapped around me. "Kira, wait."

The wind whipped around me as I jabbed my elbow into his stomach. I spun on him, grabbing the front of his vest in my fist and giving him a small jerk. "Don't call me that," I hissed at him. I let go of his vest, once again jerking him. Then I walked inside, closing and locking the balcony door. I also pulled the curtains tight so he couldn't see into my apartment.

"Doe-sensei?"

I gasped and spun around, staring at Ryuu with big eyes. "R-Ryuu?"

His head was tilted to the side. He has never looked so much like his mother before. "Who is Kira?"

I tried my hardest to smile and wave it off as nothing. "Just an old friend of his."

Ryuu's frown grew. "Then why did Kazekage-sama call you Kira?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. Damn Gaara. Damn him to hell. "Because he got me confused with her. We were just talking about her, that's all." I quickly tried to change the topic. "What do you want to eat? You need to hurry and get ready or you will be late for school."

Ryuu dropped it for now, but I could tell he would be bringing it up again at some point.

I just hope it isn't in front of anyone else.

– –

"Doe! Doe! Hey, Doe!"

I glanced away from the sparing boys to see Ino running over. She stopped a few feet away, wiping the sweat from her forehead. The boys came to a stop when they were dropped to the ground, Jessica's concentration slipped when Ino arrived. She smiled her apologies to them. "What is it, Ino?"

Her attention snapped back to me. "Tsunade-sama and Kazekage-sama want you in their office immediately. They told me to watch over those three's training until you could come back. Something about battle plans. Sakura and Naruto are on their way to the office right now as well."

I nodded. "Boys, keep at it. Jess, I want you to try your hardest not to let anything bother you. You did good until Ino got close. Keep at it." All three nodded and they were back to what they had been doing. "Ino, try distracting Jessica every once in awhile. She needs to learn how to concentrate with distractions." Ino nodded and I was off.

I was the last one to arrive. They had already started. I walked over to the table they were all standing around, and tried to catch up on what I missed my listening to what Naruto was saying.

"They have moved this far since we returned from the mission." His finger traced a line on the map. "We were able to keep them from infiltrating up to here. But we cannot keep them back for long without reinforcements."

Sakura pointed to a spot on the map. "This is where that waterfall is. If we can break down the bridge here we can keep them from crossing the river for some time. They will need to build a new bridge to cross it. The current is to strong to cross without a bridge being built."

I frowned. That wont work. "Sakura, that wont work." Everyone looked to me, waiting for me to explain myself. It was then that I realized they had all agreed with her. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat. Talk about being in the spot light! "If we destroy that bridge we will be cutting off ourselves from Hoshi. They are one of our biggest suppliers, right? Without them we wouldn't have enough weapons for our army. No, we cannot destroy that bridge. Not yet, anyway."

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her face, hard. "Then what do you suggest we do? We have nothing else. That is the only thing we can do to keep them back."

I shook my head, there has to be something! I stared hard at the map, trying to remember everything about the land in the different nations. I haven't been to all of them, so it is hard for me to figure out. I pointed to one spot. "Is there something here that may help us?"

Sakura shook her head. "No, there is only plains there. And if we burn the grass it will only make it that much easier for them to get through. At least the tall grass slows them down."

Tall grass? I licked my lips. "Are there any marshes around that area?"

Naruto frowned. "No, that is one of the drier places. Why?"

Okay, this just may work. I smirked to myself. Wouldn't that be a surprise! "I think I have something." Tsunade rose her brow, seeing the glint in my eye. "Wouldn't it be a shock to prepare for a journey across a few plains when instead you are met by a couple big marshes?" I laughed to myself. "It would be a bitch, if you think about it."

Naruto smirked. "Will you be able to handle it?"

I thought about it. It would definitely take some time for me to collect enough water to be able to turn it into a marsh. Especially if it is one of the driest area's. But, hey! If they could make Suna's desert, the driest place on this planet, into a field, then I can make one big marsh out of those plains. I looked Naruto hard in the eye. "Yes, I can do it. With the right people there I could have it done in a couple weeks."

Gaara ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up in places. "A couple weeks? That long?"

I frowned at him. Well, more like glared. "I'm sorry I'm not a miracle worker. I can get the job done, I just need time. And protection. Preferably people who know who I am so are not surprised by my powers." I glanced to Tsunade. "I also request that Jessica be allowed to come with me."

"No!" Gaara growled.

I glared at him. "If you are so worried about time, Kazekage-sama, then you will allow her to come. Not only will it be very good for her training, but it will also be good for the people. The marshes will be created faster if she is there to help. Face it, the more Jessica can learn now, the better off everyone will be."

Gaara glared at me hard, his hands gripping the table to the point where I could see a crack forming. "How so?" He growled.

I leaned forward. "Because she is like her mother. And everyone knows her mother was very powerful. Powerful enough to get to you. The quicker she learns, the more powerful she gets, are steps closer to winning this. Face it, Gaara, Jessica will be an important factor to this war!"

A cracking sound came from the table. "I will not allow you to _use_ my daughter," he hissed at me.

If he hadn't had such a tight grip on the table I would have thrown it across the room. As it is I swiped the maps and papers to the floor. "Dammit, Gaara! She is my daughter, too!" I screamed at him. I stood there breathing hard as I glared at him. He just glared back. "Fuck you, asshole. Fuck you for thinking I would ever harm my daughter. I'm not you. I don't use people for my benefit." I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm down. "Tsunade-sama, I need a week to prepare. I would like to know who is on my team as soon as possible."

"I will make your team by tomorrow evening," she said softly.

I nodded and left the office. There is no point in me staying. Plus, my babies are waiting for me to return.

Going back and forth between never wanting to let him go and wanting to kill him is starting to give me whiplash. I can't stand to be around him more than half of the time. But those times when he kisses me, when he holds me, or even when he just sits next to me on the roof, I want nothing more than to tell him to never leave me. The picture of the two of us in his locked drawer flashed through my head.

Why does he have that photo?

I sat down next to Jessica and crossed my arms over my chest, glaring out at the tree's behind the boys. I chewed on my lip, deep in thought. Of all pictures to keep locked up, why that one? Does he not want the twins to find it? Have they never seen a picture of me? Now that I think back on it, that is probably the only picture of me at all. I don't remember anyone taking any other photographs of me. And I only did that one to annoy Gaara. I remember the day perfectly. I had been annoying him because I wanted him to be done with his work so he could go train with me.

The taste of blood filled my mouth. Great. I bit my lip too hard. I sighed slightly and sucked on it, running my tongue over it. Why does he have to be such a jerk to me in front of others? I've noticed it is normally only in front of people who know who I am. Why is that? Maybe he wants them to believe he is completely over me. Like I am trying to show that I am completely over him. Which is so not true.

"Doe-sensei!" Jessica yelled.

I was able to fall flat on my back just as a rock came flying at my face. I sat back up and stared at Ryuu with wide eyes. He was staring at me with wide eyes. He quickly pointed to Yukio to deflect the anger he knew was coming.

Yukio stared at him with disbelief. "As if! I didn't throw it, I swear, Doe-sensei!"

I looked back and forth between the two of them without moving my head. My shock is gone. Replaced with an energetic anger. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "You two are going to get it." And with that I pounced on them, grabbing both of them at the same time. Thankfully they were close together.

The three of us wrestled, good fighting. Not to hurt. Just as I pinned one of them down the other got free and attacked. After awhile of this I realized the three of us were flouting, and I gave a small gust of wind, not one Jessica would question, and pushed myself towards the two of them, grabbing hold of both of their heads under my arms.

"Gotcha!" I laughed. Ryuu and Yukio struggled to get out of my grip, but there is no way they will win. I laughed hard and let go, brushing off their angered attacks. "Alright boys, you've had your fun. Let's calm down now." Jessica lowered us to the ground and set us down carefully. "Good job, Jess." I smiled at her. "All three of you come here." Ino came over, too, and sat in our small circle.

We all did a little deep breathing to calm our heart rates and relax our muscles. When I opened my eyes I saw the two boys, sitting on either side of their sister, smiling at each other. I am glad Ryuu has made friends with his siblings.

"Alright, tell me what you learned." Yukio was the first to raise his hand. "Okay, what did you learn today, Yukio?"

He smirked. "I learned never to mess with you, Doe-sensei!" We all laughed at that.

Jessica hesitantly raised her hand. I nodded for her to go on. "I learned how to push the concentration to the back of my mind and how to watch the surroundings as well as keep them in the air."

Pride filled my chest. "Good!" I looked at Ryuu for him to go next.

"I learned how to use Yukio's love for his family against him." Ryuu must have seen the look that crossed my face because his eyes widened and he quickly tried to backtrack. "Wait! That's not what I meant, Doe-sensei! I was just trying to follow Kazekage-sama's advise. Please don't be mad, Doe-sensei!"

I stood up and stared down at him. "I don't care if the Kazekage told you to or not. You _never_ do that to someone. Do all of you understand me?" All three nodded. "I don't want to ever hear of you doing it again. Ever." I took a deep breath to calm myself. Damn Gaara. "You are dismissed."

I sent Ryuu home to fold his laundry and decided to take a walk around the city. It wasn't long before Sakura caught up to me, pulling me towards her and Kakashi's apartment. Once inside she pulled me into the kitchen and poured the both of us tall glasses of lemon aid. I sipped at mine, not looking at her as she put away the pitcher and sat down next to me.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly.

I nodded.

"Are you sure? You really didn't seem it when you left the office." Sakura reached over and placed her hand on top of mine. "You can tell me anything, you know that."

I looked down at my lemon aid. How dare he think I would ever use my daughter like that. We would be in no immediate threat while creating the marshes, plus I could protect her if anything did happen. And it isn't like we would be alone. We would have protection. And the people who know who I am are nothing but the strongest. How dare he. I gritted my teeth together, hating the feeling, but loving how much it calm me down.

Sakura rubbed my hand. "You know, I was thinking about maybe having a baby." My eyes snapped up to her face. "I see Naruto and Hinata with their children and I get this feeling in my chest. I just have to convince Kakashi he is ready to be a Daddy now." She laughed at that.

I tried to picture Sakura and Hinata's child in my minds eye. But there is no way I could. That child will be one special child. Strong, smart, and powerful. I smiled at her. "I'm sure it wont take him long to figure it out. He has always been good with kids."

She laughed hard. "Not with Aiko, that little yellow devil! She loves Kakashi, but he can't stand her. He says she is to much like Naruto." We both laughed.

It was then that Kakashi walked through the door, kissing Sakura on the top of the head before he went to the sink to get a glass of water. "What are you ladies up to?" He asked. He kept his back to us as he pulled down his mask to drink the water.

"Oh you know, the usual." Sakura smiled.

I squinted at Kakashi. "You know, Kakashi, I have never seen your face." I quickly glanced over at Sakura. "Is he hiding something? Is he really ugly underneath the mask? Does he have some big wart or something?" Kakashi spit the water all over the window above the sink, choking on the rest of it.

Sakura laughed hard, holding her stomach.

Neither answered my question.

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**Hope you liked it!**


	26. Marsh

**Here we go! chapter 25 is up and ready for your reading pleasure :) Enjoy!**

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Chapter 25, Marsh.

Tsunade had given me the list two days ago. I will be ready to leave in the morning. I have everything planned out, and Ino will stay with Ryuu while I am gone. Gaara has decided to let me take his daughter, under one condition. Him and Kankuro will be joining us.

I sighed as I wiped dirt from my face, rinsing the cloth out in the bathroom sink. I should be sleeping right now. I am going to need my rest. This will be a long trip. I looked at my face in the mirror. So much different than the one I have known all my life. My nose is long, my cheekbones slightly higher. And my eyes are still blue. Blue like Naruto's. And my hair is the copper color like Savannah's. My chest is about the same size, maybe a tiny bit smaller than it had been before. My muscle tone is much more on this body. I like that part. I look good with a little bit of hard muscles. I think I will keep those.

I grabbed my shirt off the rack and looked down at it. A long sleeve black shirt, a killer in hot weather. I think I need to do a little bit of shopping before I leave tomorrow morning. Who would be open this late? Hm... Maybe Sakura has something I can borrow. Though, the chest part will be much to big. I sighed, looking at my long sleeve shirt. I grabbed a pair of scissors I use to trim my hair with and cut off the arms of the shirt, and cut off the belly part so it wouldn't be so long. I slipped it on and looked at myself in the mirror.

The sight of the cut ends forming together was amazing. I am so talented. I stared down at my muscled stomach. I took away from the muscles a little, so it looked like a natural muscled look. And I added to my arms a little, taking away the fat. Once I was happy I looked at my face. I can't change anything there without looking more like myself, or hideous. I looked at my hair. I love my hair. I grabbed the scissors and cut it all off, leaving it only a few inches long. I took some mouse Sakura had lent me and shaped it all forward, sort of like how Kakashi does it. But my hair is now much shorter. Once I was happy enough with it I washed the left over mouse off my hands and grabbed my pants, pulling them on.

Now I am ready.

When Ryuu woke up, and after he stared wordlessly at my new look, I brought him to school. "Be good for Ino," I told him. He nodded and went into the building with the other children.

I saw Yukio entering the building alone, his sister is probably getting ready with Gaara and Kankuro to leave. Poor Yukio seems to get the short end of the stick all of the time. He will be left here, with Temari, while his sister gets to go and do something important. I waved to him and he waved back, giving me a smile. He will be alright. He is a strong boy.

When I got to the village gates everyone was there.

Sakura and Kakashi, Naruto, of course, Gaara, Jessica, and Kankuro. Also, Shikamaru, who I hadn't known knows who I am, and Kiba and Akamaru. With all of these people around, Jessica will be very well protected.

I am still pissed at Gaara.

Does he think that just because I wont tell them I am their mother that I don't love them? That I won't keep them safe? I tried not to think about it as we moved out.

We traveled for two days, and each time we stopped for a rest I made Jessica practice. I taught her how to draw water from the earth. I taught her how to quicken a plants growth and repair that which was dead. She learned to much in those two days, I was extremely impressed. We got to the wide open plains late afternoon of the second day. I told everyone I needed to rest and to set up camp somewhere in the middle of the plains. Akamaru picked a nice dry area with low grass.

As the sky darkened everyone started drifting off to their tents to sleep for the night. I watched Jessica enter a tent with Kankuro after giving her father a kiss goodnight. She smiled at me before she was hidden by the tent fabric. Kiba tossed another log to the fire and laid on his back to watch the stars, Akamaru curled around his head. The others did various things, I wasn't completely paying attention. My mind was on how I could complete such a task as quickly as possible. I know it will take no less than a week.

Maybe even two.

I didn't realize the size of this land before. On a map it doesn't seem like much.

I stood from the fire and slowly crept towards the shadows, not meeting anyone's eyes as I left. I walked though the darkness, the stars and moon lighting my way. When I was far enough from the group, so they were only a flickering light in the distance, I sat down on the cry earth and spread my fingers out on the grass, digging a little into their roots.

The best way to start is going to be finding the water source. For all of this grass to live there must be some sort of source they get their water from. From my understanding it doesn't rain much here. I put up a five miles radius and searched everywhere. I found a few small springs but nothing that would majorly help me.

I sighed and pulled my fingers out of the earth, opening my eyes back up.

There must be something I can do that will help speed things up. I pulled at my short hair, now wishing I had never cut it. What possessed me to cut my hair so short? I had hated it this short when I had to cut it off because of the plague. I honestly don't know why I did it. Maybe to prove I am a new person? Maybe. Could be I just wanted a change. I just don't know.

I glanced up when I heard a rustle. "What is it Kiba?"

He sat down in front of me and laced his fingers behind his head, chewing on his lip. "I've been watching you, you know. Since you came back and all."

I frowned. Okay, I have no idea where this is going. "And?"

"And," he shrugged, glancing up at the sky briefly. "I think you shouldn't worry about what others think. You've always done that to much."

How did the conversation get here? Oh. Right. It is Kiba we are talking about.

"You also need to stop holding everything on your shoulders." Kiba cleared his throat and pursed his lips. "You beat yourself up to much, too."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you done yet?"

Kiba looked at me with a scowl. "I'm being serious here!" I nodded, looking at him with my eyebrows up, waiting for him to say we are done with this conversation. "You're an adult. Start acting like one." And with that he got up and left me alone in the field.

I glared after him. I do act like an adult, for crying out loud!

Akamaru whined and licked my cheek. I rubbed his head and leaned against him. "Oh, Akamaru," I sighed. "What am I going to do?"

He snorted and stamped his front feet. I frowned at him. He nudged my knee with his nose and pointedly looked towards the others, his head tilting to the side.

I sighed and looked towards them, too. A small head was bobbing up and down in the grass. Jessica. That girl should be sleeping. "Can you show her the way to me, please?" He stood and walked off into the grass. It was only a few minutes before they both came back, Jessica looking a little worried until she finally saw me. "Why aren't you in bed, little girl?"

She frowned at me and sat down on the ground. "I'm not little. I couldn't sleep, Doe-sensei. And Kiba said you were out here. I wanted to come help you."

"How did you know I was doing anything?" I asked.

She shrugged, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Why else would you be out here in the middle of the night all alone? I want to help, Doe-sensei. That is why I am here." She crossed her arms over her chest, just like her father does when he has set his mind on something.

"Alright," I gave in. I reached out and motioned for her to take my hands. She scooted closer and set her hands in mine. I took a deep breath and shook both of our arms, resting the back of my hands on my knees. "Okay, I want you to breath deeply now. There is much I need to show you." She nodded and took a deep breath. I could feel her muscles relaxing. "I have already begun the work. But this is not something I can do on my own, and that is why I need you here, Jessica."

She nodded, her eyes closed and breathing deeply.

I took one of our linked hands and put them on the ground, her hand beneath mine. "Dig your fingers into the ground," I whispered. Once she did I laced my fingers around hers and dug my own fingers into the ground. "I need you to feel into the earth. Feel the life of the grass, feel the moisture in the dirt." I followed the path she was taking and softly guided her with words.

The first step to being able to help me is learning how to use her powers. She is still coming to know what she can and cannot do.

Soon she will learn there is nothing she cannot do.

The sun was just starting to rise when I called quits and we walked back to the others. Gaara watched us enter the small circle that had been created by the tents with his arms crossed over his chest. Jessica ran to him and gave him a hug, then started helping Sakura build the fire for cooking. Gaara was staring me down so I stared right back, crossing my arms over my chest as well. No one bothered us. We stood like that for a few hours, completely missing breakfast.

"Doe-sensei?" Jessica looked up at me, waving a hand in front of my face. "Are you okay?" When I didn't answer she turned to Sakura. "Sakura, why is she swaying?"

Just as I questioned myself about what she was saying I felt myself falling. Black dots formed before me, but I still caught the color red as Gaara caught me, gently lowering me to the ground. My tongue is heavy in my mouth.

"Get her some water." He ordered someone. "Jess, go get me a blanket." Once she was gone I felt Gaara's breath on my face. "Kira? Kira, are you alright?" He asked in a very hushed whisper. I felt my brow lower into a scowl. I told him never to say my name again. His breath was gone from my face. "She's alright," he said.

Did he really just make me scowl to see if I was responsive?

– –

When I came to I was in one of the tents, a blanket wrapped tightly around me. I sighed and tried to wiggle my way out of the tight blanket, but found it was harder than I had first thought it would be. How could I have done this to myself? I struggled a little more, then let out a big sigh and gave up, just laying there looking up at the top of the tent.

"Stuck?" Came an amused voice. I felt myself scowl. This is all his fault. Gaara leaned over me and began helping me get unwrapped from the blankets, but I didn't move. I just laid there as he pulled the corner out from under me and laid the blanket over me the right way. He laid back down then with one arm under his head. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Mm." My head is pounding. I must have used way to much chakra last night. My body feels tired. I let my eyes fall shut, not even trying to wonder what I am doing in his tent. Where is Jessica? I let my eyes fall closed and I listened to his light breathing. It has been so long since I have laid next to him and just rested. So very long.

The two of us are much to stubborn. He is stubborn because he will not let go of me. I am stubborn because I don't want him to, but I say otherwise. Why do we keep doing this? Everything always has to be done the hard way. Though, if everything happened the easy way, where would we be in life? Fat and lazy sitting on a couch shoving our faces, that is where. I reached over and took his hand, bringing it to my face. He did not move, letting me do what I wanted. I held his palm tightly to my cheek and closed my eyes against the warmth of it.

I decided to voice my thoughts aloud. "Why do we keep doing this?" I used a very hushed whisper, half hoping he couldn't hear me.

But, of course, he did. Gaara rolled on his side, still leaving his hand against my face, letting me move it as I pleased. He looked at me silently for a long time, then his thumb brushed my lower lip. "Because we both have very different opinions."

My lips frowned under his thumb. I let out a breath I hadn't realized until now I was holding. I swallowed. Obviously, he doesn't want it to be this way. And neither do it. I want to be able to hug him or kiss him or hold his hand any time I want without getting stares from others. I want to be me. But can I do that? I am my peoples protector. Will I ever be able to do that before the war has ended? "I have to protect them," I whispered.

Gaara's eyes moved from mine. He gave a small nod. At least he understands that part.

I reached up and brushed a strand of red hair from his forehead. "I'm sorry," I whispered, I could barely hear myself say it. But Gaara heard me. He looked back up into my eyes. I ran my fingers down his face. "I'm so sorry it has to be this way."

Gaara moved closer, putting his face at the base of my neck and wrapping one arm around my middle as he half laid on me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. "I miss you," He whispered into my ear, his breath hot.

I smiled. He has no idea how much I miss him.

We were not able to lay like that for long. It wasn't long before Sakura and Jessica came in the tent to check on me. Gaara told them my condition was better and Sakura said I should be fine to get up now. I went out to the fire with them and sat while I watched them spar together. Kiba and Kankuro were at it, trying to best the other. I wonder who will win. Without Akamaru Kiba may have a disadvantage, though Kankuro doesn't seem to be using his puppets. Maybe they made a rule of some kind.

Jessica sat next to Gaara and they talked softly, him drawing things in the dirt. She watched intently and kept nodding, glancing up at him for only a brief second before concentrating on the dirt drawing. Shikamaru took Kakashi and they went out scouting, making sure we are still safe for the time being. There is no telling how fast the enemy will be moving. Kakashi said something about setting up watches so everyone could be warned quickly if needed.

I watched the progress of the marsh as I viewed what was going on in front of me. Water is starting to trickle in under ground. Slowly, but surely. What Jessica and I did yesterday was a good start. But there is much more work to be done. I sighed. This is a huge project. But it needs to be done. Anything to slow their advancement. I looked up at the blue sky. I actually hope it rains. The more water we can get on this area the better. Something occurred to me.

I glanced over at Gaara, pushing a slight pulse in the ground towards him. He glanced up at me.

I stood and walked off, heading towards the edge of the plain, towards the trees. I glanced back when he didn't follow. "I would like your help with something, Kazekage-sama," I called back to him. "Please follow me. It is something only a Kage may help with." I said the last part because Jessica was about to follow him. She stared after us with a frown.

I lead Gaara a little ways into the trees. Then I turned to face him. "I need you to make sure I do not hurt myself, okay?" He scowled, a silent question as to why I am asking this of him. I told him the truth. "I am going to make it rain. Hard. I do not know how much this will take out of me." He nodded, now understanding.

I took a deep breath and spread my feet apart, holding my arms loosely to my sides. This is going to take a lot of concentration. I need to make a storm big enough to help with my project. More than five inches of rain would be lovely. The more the better. I shook my hands a little, trying to imagine everything that is within the creation of a storm. With another deep breath and with my hands slowly rising out in front of me, I began.

I stood there maybe an hour as the wind whipped my hair and as sweat dripped off my skin, saturating my clothing. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, drops of water fell from the sky. Before long it was a full blown downpour, lightning streaked the sky and thunder boomed. If I'm lucky, I can keep this going for a few hours. Hopefully I don't run out of energy before then.

I opened my eyes to see myself leaning heavily on Gaara's chest. I barely registered him asking if I was alright. I nodded and tried to stand up straight, but he grabbed my arm as he turned, pulling me onto his back. He walked me back to the camp like that, letting the rain beat down on us. I sighed lightly, wrapping my arms around his neck. I need to figure out how to keep this storm over us and raining hard like this. I will have to figure out a way to maintain the moisture in the sky without taking from the ground below.

I did a quick view of my range. I can take some from the forest, I can feel a river nearby. I can also take from surrounding clouds and add them to my storm. That may be helpful.

Gaara said something I couldn't hear, and he started to set me down. I stood next to him, gazing at the camp. Everyone was scrambling trying to get everything under cover. I smiled at Gaara and started jogging towards everyone, shouting for them to get out of the rain. I laughed despite being so tired. Poor Sakura looks frazzled. Does she not like the rain?

Shikamaru sat under the cover of one of the tents, glaring out at the rain.

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**Review please!**


	27. Running

**Well, this is a short chapter. But a lot happens! Enjoy :)**

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Chapter 26, Running.

I have successfully kept the rain going for two whole days. I haven't been able to do much else, only sit and watch the others play card games or laugh at jokes. All I can do is sit wrapped up in a blanket and concentrate on the clouds as well as always looking for different places to take water from.

It is a very hard job.

I sent Kakashi out searching for sources of water a few hours ago. I expect him back any moment. Concentrating as hard as I am I cannot let myself slip for one second or I could lose the storm. I am running out of water from the places I have been taking from. And I don't want to kill what little trees and bushes are left. I don't want to dry up the river either. The less animals effected, the better. They will also help us. It may be a bad idea to keep any large game alive, they will only feed the enemy, but I cannot think of killing them all.

I closed my eyes against the laughter and tuned them all out. I can feel my concentration slipping. I am having just as hard a time keeping my concentration locked as Jessica does. I also haven't slept since I started this. And I've barely eaten. I can't afford to take my mind off the storm for more than a few seconds. I am afraid that if I do the storm will stop and I will never get it raining again.

Already the plains are flooding. I have Jessica working on sinking the water into the ground to make it a real marsh. Area's are already starting to look good.

It was then that Kakashi came from outside. He looked breathless. Without looking at anyone else he fell to his knees in front of Sakura and pulled her face to his in a rough kiss. A desperate one.

"They are coming," He breathed against her lips. "You need to get out."

Everyone was on their feet in seconds. Gaara lifted Jessica to his back where she clung tightly, looking confused. "What's going on?"

Shikamaru, Kiba, Akamaru, and Kankuro ran from the tent, setting up guard around the perimeter. Sakura and Kakashi hugged each other tightly then Kakashi ran from the tent to join the others. I helped her grab the important things and shove them into bags.

"You need to get out of here, Doe," she said. She tossed a pack to Gaara. "The three of you need to run. Kakashi said their numbers are big." She shoved some food into another. "We can handle the first wave to give you time then we will all meet at Konoha. You need to stay safe. Our people cannot go on without the three of you. Understand?"

Gaara put a hand on Sakura's shoulder. "Thank you, Haruno. Be safe."

She smiled. "You as well."

Oh no, I don't think so. "I am _not _running! Please tell me you are joking." I looked back and forth between Sakura and Gaara. "Jessica needs to be taken from here, yes. But there is no reason for me to leave. I can fight. I'm _itching _to fight."

Sakura stepped right up to me, looking hard into my eyes with her steel green ones. "You listen to me, and listen to me good. You will grab that bag and leave with Gaara-sama and Jessica this very second. You are no good to anyone dead. Remember that."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What is the reason I am here, Sakura? The only damn reason I am on this planet is to kill those bastards. To keep them from hurting the ones I love. How am I supposed to do that when my tail is between my legs and my back is to them? No. I will stay. And I will fight."

Gaara cleared his throat. "We need to get moving. They are closing in."

Sakura took a step closer, using her two inches on me as a way to intimidate me. With a quick swipe of her fist I was knocked out, crumpling to the ground like a rag doll.

– –

I woke to the sounds of birds songs and the sun shining in my eyes. I screamed and slammed both of my fists into the ground. How dare she do that to me! Who does she think she is! I can't believe Sakura knocked me out! I screamed again and punched at the ground.

"Doe-sensei, be quiet!" Jessica leaped on me and covered my mouth tightly. "They are close."

The smell of blood on my little girl had me up in a flash, checking her over. She isn't hurt. But who's blood is this? A twig snapping had me spinning, shoving Jessica behind the tree. The man with a mask and a sword was beheaded by a sharp gust of wind. I grabbed Jessica, pulling her onto my back, and I started running. Where the hell is Gaara. I ran as fast as I could, but still they followed, trying to catch up.

I propelled myself over a fallen tree and broke Jessica's grasp on me. "Stay," I whispered, jumping back over just in time to push them back and away from my daughter. I kicked one in the face, hearing the crunch as his nose jammed into his brain. I used the wind to slice open the one who was trying to climb over the tree.

A kunai dug into my shoulder, tearing it open. I grunted and spun as I kicked out my foot, snapping the mans neck with the force of the impact. Where the hell is Gaara! Better question, I thought as I ducked from a punch, what the hell did he do with my weapons? I kicked him in the gut and grabbed his head, snapping it to the side and letting his body fall limp to the ground. I stood there, panting, looking for the next one to attack. But that was it. Only five men attacked. A scouting group, maybe?

I reached over the tree and held my hand out to Jessica. She grabbed my hand and I pulled her over, hugging her tightly. "Are you alright?" I breathed out, my heart still racing. She nodded, tears streaking her cheeks. "Who's blood is this? Are you sure you aren't hurt?"

She sniffed, her hands grabbing my shoulders tightly. "It's Daddy's. I tried to heal him, Doe-sensei. I tried." Her sobs stopped her from saying anything else.

My heart skipped a beat. I became deathly calm. "Where is he?" I heard myself ask. Its like I am no long apart of my body. Jessica lead me back towards where we were to begin with. She pointed to a tree that had deep burrows under its roots. I left her standing there as I sprinted towards the tree, flinging myself under the roots. I felt around until my hands found a foot. I quickly scrambled towards the body and felt Gaara's stomach, then his chest. I could feel myself start to shake as I felt the blood on his chest, coming from a wound on his neck.

I let out a small scream and felt up to his face. Gaara's face is whole. But his neck is cut open. "Gaara!" I pressed my hands to his neck to try to hold it closed, to keep his blood in his body. Why? Why Gaara? "Oh please no, Gaara. Please. Please, no." I sobbed loudly and pressed tighter. I can feel the slight pump of the blood. A gurgle sound came from Gaara's mouth. I pushed all of my power into saving him. He's alive! "Oh my god, Gaara!"

Gaara is alive!

My heart raced faster than it has ever raced before. A shaking hand came up and locked into my short hair, thumb rubbing a circle under my ear. I blinked past my tears and stared into Gaara's green eyes. Thank god he is alive. "Stay with me Gaara. Please, don't leave me." I pushed more of my power into his neck, spreading it through his whole body. I healed him until there was nothing left, not even a tiny scar. Gaara's hands gripped me tightly and his lips found mine, kissing me hard.

I shook as I kissed him, letting out a sob.

But an ear shattering scream had me forgetting all about him.

I scrambled out from under the tree, Gaara hot on my heels. My first instinct was to kill whoever was holding my daughter by her hair, a kunai to her neck. But when I saw the line of blood forming, I came up short, Gaara nearly running into me.

A steam of loudly yelled curse words came from my mouth and Gaara's hands held my arms tightly to keep me from accidentally killing our daughter in my struggle to strangle the person holding her. "You're dead!" I screamed. "You are fucking dead! You can't do this! I killed you!" I screamed and screamed. "I killed you! I killed you!"

Her laugh was sharp and full of anger. "You killed me, you killed me. Then, tell me, sweetheart, why am I still here? With my knife at your daughters throat?" Anne chuckled as she yanked Jessica's head back sharply, making her cry out.

I swore again and lunged at her, only to be held back by Gaara. And from the grip he has on me I can tell he wants nothing more than to snap that bitches neck. "Let go of her," I growled. "Let go of her!"

Jessica cried loudly. Anne giggled as she kissed Jessica's forehead. "Don't worry, honey, I wont hurt you. As long as your mother here agrees and gives herself up."

"Mom?" Jessica whispered. She tried looking at me, but Anne held her hair to tightly.

Anne's head tilted to the side. "You don't know? Well, I guess she does look a lot different now. Her hair was longer last time I saw her. And she didn't have as much muscle. But, yes, girl, that is your mother. Kira Lorenzo. Savior of this world." She laughed at that. "Why hadn't you told her, Kira? Why do you always lie?"

I sliced at Anne with the wind, but before I knew it Anne had Jessica in a head lock, choking her. "Do that again and I will strangle her to death," she hissed.

I can't give up. She has my baby! I struggled against Gaara again, noticing his hands were loosening on me. I stopped and glanced over my shoulder at him. He is paler than ever. He had lost a lot of blood. I know she is waiting for my answer. What do I say?

"I didn't tell her because I only came here to die." I whispered. I went slack in Gaara's hands. While she is so close to Jessica, there is nothing I can do.

Anne laughed harshly at my words. "Only came here to die, hm? Well, agree to my proposal and you will get your wish."

"No, Doe-sensei!" Jessica yelled. "Don't do it!" She screamed as Anne plunged her kunai into Jessica's soft flesh of her arm.

Gaara's hands couldn't hold me back then. I screamed as I rushed at Anne. And nothing was going to keep me off of her. Not even the kunai that stabbed right into my stomach. I punched her as hard as I could in the jaw, knocking her away from my daughter. Jessica scrambled away, sobbing loudly from pain. I grabbed Anne's leg to keep her from running away. She twisted to punch me, but I got her first, another solid hit to her jaw.

"Bitch!" Anne shrieked. She kicked at me, hitting me in the face. I felt my hot blood running from my nose.

I landed a punch to her thigh, leaving her leg motionless for the time being. "I will fucking kill you good this time," I hissed, crawling closer to her head. My whole body feels numb. I pulled the kunai from my stomach and stabbed it hard into her arm, digging it deep into her bone. Try getting that out, I thought bitterly.

But a boot to my head had me seeing the sky clouded with big dots. I heard Gaara's grunt and Jessica's scream before the black dots took over completely.

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**I know it wasn't much, but did you like it? What do you think is going to happen now? **


	28. Eaves Dropping

**Here is chapter 27 for you! Enjoy!**

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Chapter 27, Eaves Dropping.

Yukio cried softly within his Aunts arms on the couch, his uncle sitting next to the two of them. Gaara sits at his desk with his face in both hands. Tsunade stared out the window in silence.

How could this have happened?

She took my baby.

That stupid bitch took my baby.

All I remember after I was kicked in the head was waking up in the marsh with Sakura healing my head injury. Had my brain swelled more before she got to me, I would be dead right now. I don't know what kept Gaara from protecting my baby. All I know is he was still unconscious when Sakura finished healing me. And I had no idea if the blood I saw on him was from what I healed or whether it was from something new.

All I know is he did not protect my daughter.

I swallowed hard.

Why is Anne here? I hate this. I can't stand this. She is always the bad guy. Always. What happened to her baby? She should look very pregnant by now. But she hadn't. She looked the same as the day I left that world. She will pay. She will pay dearly. This isn't the first time she has attacked my babies, but it will be the last. I will make sure of it. No one hurts my babies and gets away with it.

I heard Yukio run from his aunt over to his father and climb in Gaara's lap, his sobs muffled by Gaara's shirt. "We have to get her back, dad," I heard him say. "We have to get my sister back!"

I looked over at Gaara. His eyes met mine. Behind the redness I see anger. Anger and hurt. I swallowed hard again. "We will," I whispered to him. Yukio looked over at me with tears in his eyes. "We will get her back no matter what, Yukio."

He sniffled and nodded, scrubbing at his cheeks with the back of his hand.

When I returned home that night I found Ryuu asleep on the couch. With everything that had been going on, I can honestly say I forgot about him. I walked over and lifted him into my arms, carrying him to his bed. I tucked him in and shut his light out. I stood in the living room staring out the glass door at the rising moon. Anne wouldn't kill her. I know she wont. She must have lost her baby and that is why she took Jessica. To replace what she had lost.

I blinked back my tears. I need to be strong. For Yukio. For Gaara. For myself.

My eyes met Gaara's as he materialized on the balcony. His eyes stayed on mine as he entered my apartment, walking over to me in a steady pace, his steps sure. I was once again wrapped in his arms.

And this time I clung to him, holding him tightly.

Despite knowing what I know, I cried, "She is going to kill her, she's going to kill her."

Gaara ran his hand over my short hair and down my neck. "We will get her, Kira," he whispered. "I will not let her be harmed." I choked on a sob, then why is she not here? Gaara's arms tightened around me. "We will save our daughter."

I ran my hand over his neck and across his cheek. His cheek is rough with stubble. I have never seen him with hair on his face. He has always shaved. Then I felt the small wet mark. I looked up at him. A single tear had fallen from his red rimmed eyes. I closed my own and rested my face against his. "We will save our daughter," I whispered in agreement.

– –

I woke up to the sun shining brightly in my window. I don't know when I had gone to bed, but it was early this morning. Ryuu was no where to be seen, most likely already gone to school. I showered and dressed then stood staring at what I have become.

I smirked at the image that is not mine.

How long has it been since I came back into this world? I have lost track. I don't even know how many nights ago it was that Gaara and I hugged in my living room. Weeks? A month maybe? There is no way for me to tell. My grief over my daughter has blurred the days and nights. The light hours I spend outside training. Getting ready for what I know lies ahead. We've tried three different bunkers that spies have said they are holding my daughter in. Gaara and I tore each apart.

Jessica was no where to be found.

I struck the mirror with my fist, ignoring the stinging pain of the glass cutting into my knuckles. I looked down at all of the misshapen images of myself, distorted by the broken pieces. I frowned as I watched them start to shake. It was then that I felt it, the whole building shaking. There was an obnoxiously loud bang and I was thrown to the floor with the force of it.

And then the screaming started.

My half of the building started to crumble. I shot out of the bathroom towards the door. The balcony is gone, and half of the living room floor. I jumped towards the door, reaching for the handle, but the ground under me crumbled, letting me fall into the darkness beyond. But sand caught me, grabbing at me roughly and pulling me to safety. Ryuu dropped me feet from where he stood, huffing and puffing.

I locked my arms around him, kissing his forehead. This child just saved my life. "You need to go somewhere safe," I breathed out.

I took his hand in mine and we started running, away from the walls where I could hear battle cries. I need to protect him. I ran into Ino, who had a few other kids tagging along with her. "Doe! You are needed at the walls. Ryuu, come with me," she said. "Don't worry, I will keep him safe."

I nodded, kissing Ryuu's head once more. "Be safe," I whispered in his ear. "Protect the others."

He nodded, frowning as he watched me run off.

I sprinted towards the walls. How can we be attacked without notice? Had I slept through all of the warnings? I flipped over a fallen street light and continued my sprint. There had to have been some warning. All of the work we did on the marsh was for nothing. I met up with Kankuro and Temari. Temari shoved armor into my arms without really glancing at me.

"Strap up, Kira. This is going to be a good fight," she said.

I'm over realizing people know who I am. I slipped my chest plate over my head and Kankuro helped me tighten it. Then the leg and arm protectors were on. "Gaara is at the east wall, trying to keep the flow from entering. He has your weapons." Kankuro handed me a spare kunai. I briefly touched his face before I was running off. He better stay safe.

I found Gaara struggling to keep himself protected as well as keep them from entering the village. Large gusts of wind blew all of the men surrounding him away. Temari fell in step with me. We worked as a team in backing the enemy lines up past the ruins of the walls. As soon as we were on the other side, still pushing them back, Gaara rebuilt the wall and then was atop it, taking lives with his sand.

I felt a weight on my back and realized he had sent me my twin katana's, similar to the ones I vow never to touch again after what Mika did. I pulled them from their sheaths and started slicing into the enemy with my blades. They are going to wish they never took their first breath. I stamped my foot and pillars of earth shot up on the other side of Temari, throwing and smashing people. She threw me a grateful glance then her back was to me.

There was a yellow flash, then I could hear Naruto's laughter as he moved from one area to the other, surprising everyone that missed his movement. I smiled and kicked someone away from me. That idiot. This is a serious moment, he shouldn't make me laugh! But I couldn't help it, soon I was laughing along with him, trying to out do everything he does. He caught on quickly, and we began an unspoken game.

Is that sick? Playing a game to see how many people one can kill with so many movements?

It wasn't long before they started their retreat, now barely half of what they started with. One man fell at my feet, his eyes wide with fright. "What the hell are you?" He gasped as he tried to scramble away from me.

I stabbed my katana deep into his calf, going through the other side. I smirked at his screams. "Why, don't you know? I'm the blood thirsty bitch, back from her grave. None other than Kira Lorenzo." I laughed wickedly as I sliced his head off. I let out a grunt of effort as I pulled my katana from his calf. I wiped the blood off both of my blades onto his shirt.

When I turned around I was met with a bunch of frowns. Naruto's was the worst. "That was cruel, Kira," he whispered.

I smirked, walking up to him. "Fight fire with fire," I said slowly, inches from his face.

He didn't move, just stared back. Then he lowered his eyes.

I smirked again and walked past him. They deserved everything they got.

They took my daughter.

– –

Great. Now I'm in trouble. I trudged up the stairs to the Hokage's office, answering a summon. When I reached the top step I could hear yelling voices from within the office. I crept over, placing an ear to the thick wood.

"She is out of control!" That's Naruto's voice.

"Calm down, Naruto." Tsunade.

There was a bang. "You weren't out there, Granny. You didn't see the madness in her eyes!" There was a moment of silence, and I felt my curiosity grow by the second.

"She fought bravely," came a soft voice. Who is that?

There was a sigh, and another bang. "Naruto, you hit my desk _one more time _and you will forever regret it."

Moment of silence, probably Naruto pouting.

"Something needs to be done about her. Maybe it is time to tell her. She needs to know." This time Naruto's voice was soft. I bit my lip, pressing my ear closer.

"We can't keep hiding it from her," the soft voice agreed.

There was a creak sound, probably Tsunade sitting back in her chair. "They are correct, Hokage-sama," Gaara's voice.

Just _what _are they talking about? _Who_ are they talking about? Surely not me.

There was a clink and another squeak from the chair. "I know, I know. But I feel we need to get Jessica back first."

Gaara, again. "I want my daughter back. We all do. There is no doubt about that. But Hokage-sama, just think of how much harder she will fight. She is giving it everything she has right now. With this information in her pocket, she will be unstoppable. There is still much she does not understand."

Okay, so they are talking about me.

I swung the door open and looked at all of the shocked faces pointed at me. My eyes fell on the one person I have never seen before. No, wait. I have seen him. He was at the tea shop where I went to meet with Kankuro to talk about Matsuri before I killed her. My eyes moved to Naruto, probably the only one who would answer me. "Who's he?" I motioned to the old man with my chin. And why is he here, I did not voice that question. One at a time, I told myself.

Tsunade cleared her throat as she stood from her chair. "I hope you hadn't been eaves dropping-"

I repeated myself a little stronger, cutting her off.

Tsunade glared at me, and was about to say something when Gaara stood and moved quickly to stand in front of me. "Let's go for a walk," he said softly. "We can talk about our new plan to get Jessica back." His hand came up and touched my arm gently. What was he saying? Was he trying to distract me?

No. I want to know who this guy is and what gives him the right to talk about me like he knows me. I stepped around Gaara, smacking away his hand when he reached to hold me still. "Who are you?" I asked, stepping right up to his face. "And how do you know of my daughters capture?" It is supposed to be a secret. The more people that know it the more chances of the information leaking and getting to the enemy. We can't have them thinking Gaara is weak right now. Our walls can't withstand another attack just yet.

Tsunade sighed and sat down heavily. "Watch your tone, Kira," she mumbled. I shot her a glance. She had just used my name. Does that mean he knows who I truly am?

I stared into his aged brown eyes. I've seen these eyes before. And it wasn't in the tea shop with Kankuro. No, it was before then. A long time ago. I tried searching the eyes for the answer, raking through my memories to place these eyes. Where have I seen them before?

Then it all came to me, rushing back.

I was a little girl. It was when Mom was pregnant with Savannah. Daddy had taken us to a place in Central Maine where he and Mom met. It was the very town Mother grew up in. Kaleb and I met our grandparents for the very first time that winter. I remember sitting on his lap, staring into his brown eyes. I remember thinking they were so full of knowledge, so knowing.

My memory faded and I was back in Tsunade's office, staring into my grandfathers eyes. He gave me a sad knowing smile. "It's been a long time, Granddaughter," he whispered.

I took in a breath and opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. All thoughts had left my head. What is going on? How... how is he here!

He gave me another knowing smile. "Did you think you were the only one to ever jump between our worlds? The gene runs in our family, Kira. Though it does skip generations. I am the first for a hundred years, then you."

I shook my head, glancing over at Tsunade. I'm so confused. My grandpa? I looked back at him, seeing all of the similarities in him that I see in mother and Savannah. That I see in myself. I swallowed hard. He's dead. He died years ago. Before all of this happened to me he was dead. I went to his funeral. I remember Mom crying and crying and Daddy not being able to do anything about it. I remember having to hold Savannah because Daddy and Kaleb had to lead Mom back to the car.

I should know better. Of course he isn't dead.

He came here.

I couldn't help myself, "what's going on?" I looked over at Gaara. "How long have you known about this?"

His eyes lowered to the floor.

Awhile, then. I spun on Naruto. "And you?" He, too, dropped his eyes. "Great. So everyone knew my grandfather was here, except me. And no one felt the need to inform me? Dammit!" I yelled and slammed my fist down on the corner of Tsunade's desk and stormed out of the room. No one followed me.

I made it all the way to the training grounds before Gaara caught up with me. Nice of him to decide he should make sure I'm not tearing the village apart in my anger. I spun around ready to start my rant, but instead, I choked on a sob and tears started pouring down my cheeks. I covered my face with my hands and bit my tongue to try to stop crying.

Arms wrapped around me and I was pulled into Gaara's chest. I shook my head, trying to back away, but he held me tightly. My feet left the ground for only a brief second and then I was standing on a branch high up in a tree. I looked up at Gaara.

"Why?"

He lifted a hand and wiped tears off my cheeks. "I don't know. I'm sorry," he whispered. "We should have told you." With his forehead resting against mine and his breath swirling over my face I felt myself starting to calm down. "I haven't known about it long. Only a month or two."

I scoffed. That's a month or two too long. I closed my eyes and fisted my hands in the front of his vest. "What is he doing here?" I whispered. "Why is he here?"

Gaara's hand settled on the back of my neck, kneading small circles in my skin. "He is here to help you. Hokage-sama contacted him after they took Jessica. He has been here for a week, watching you. He is here to help, Kira." His other hand moved to my lower back, holding me firmly against him. "He is going to help us get her back."

I took a shaky breath and took a step back, breaking his hold on me. We have come closer since my Daughters capture. But not that close. I looked up at him, the warmth of his hand still lingering on my skin. I swallowed hard. If Grandpa is here then he must have the same powers as I. I looked down at my hands and watched as my muscles bulged and went back down. Maybe there is a way to track Jessica. If we all have the same powers, then there has to be some way. I closed my eyes once more, trying to search for Grandpa, trying to feel his powers.

"That won't work, darling."

I glanced down to the ground, where Grandpa stood, one hand up shielding his eyes. I frowned. "Why not?"

He chuckled and waved me down. Gaara slipped an arm around my waist and the sand carried us down, setting us directly in front of Grandpa. "It wont work," he continued ignoring Gaara, "because I have my powers hidden. Much like you had yours hidden thanks to Tsunade." Wind whipped my hair and he smiled. "Now, try again."

I did so, and I could feel him. The strength he holds is astonishing. I felt my eyes widen and his smile got bigger. "The only way we will be able to find her using this method is if they haven't shielded her powers. Which I am almost certain they have. But unfortunately I am not able to look for her. I have never met Jessica. I do not know her signature."

"Signature?" I shifted my weight, anxious to find my baby.

He nodded. "Everyone has a signature. You have felt mine. You have felt Gaara's, and you have felt everyone's around you. You just don't know it. But because you have felt them before, it is easier for you to find them. But Jessica is your daughter. Just as you are my granddaughter. It is much easier to find those who share your blood." He came over to me and set both of his hands on my shoulders. "You will not need to try hard to find her. I'm sure you can find her easily, Kira. Just concentrate."

I nodded and closed my eyes, letting out a breath. I tried to feel for her, tried to place her somewhere on this planet. I concentrated hard, my jaw locking together. Grandpa's hands lifted, and a different hand lifted my chin, making me open my eyes.

"Breathe," Gaara whispered. He stepped closer, placing both hands on my hips as he rested his forehead against mine. "Breathe and together we will search for her." I nodded and cupped both of his cheeks with my hands, taking a deep breath and letting it out.

I raced my powers through the ground, looking for any trace of my daughter. Gaara followed, pointing out things in my head that I missed, and giving me his thoughts on it. Each and every bunker we had raided had a trace of my daughter in them. So she had been in each. My heart calmed at knowing she is alive. I spread my search further, going beyond my normal limits. Tapping into Gaara's strength gave me a wider range. I felt sweat forming on Gaara's skin as we both gave it our all.

With a shock, like someone through cold water on me, I found her. I found my baby girl!

I centered all of our energy in viewing the image from the wood around her, using the water still within the planks as tiny screens to display her image. Kind of what I did with the snow flakes when Gaara came to get us from Mika all those years ago. As the picture formed I felt Gaara's hands stiffen and his breath quicken. He is just as anxious to see her as I am.

When the picture cleared, I saw her.

Jessica sat on a ratty mat glaring at the floor. One tattered blanket is wrapped around her shoulder, and she is picking at dried blood on her arm. Her ankle is shackled to the wall. More dried blood covers her, a large amount on her face. I tried to calm myself. Dried blood is better than fresh blood. It means the bleeding has stopped. She looks cold. I could hear the footsteps echoing from outside the room she was in. I saw her look up with panic and fear in her eyes. I saw the door open and I saw Anne enter the room. I saw Anne walk over to her and back hand her hard across the face. I felt my fingers tighten on Gaara.

"_Worthless little twit. No better than your stupid mother._" Anne spat at her.

Jessica didn't look up, she kept her glare at Anne's shoes. What has she put my daughter through? I felt my anger rise. "_You know nothing about my Mom,_" Jessica whispered.

Anne laughed loudly. "_I know nothing, hm? Nope, not a damn thing. I don't know that your mom is a lier. I don't know that your mom left behind her life to return to this hell hole. I don't know that she hates you. Do you remember anything of when you were in her womb?_" Oh no... please don't! I thought. But Anne continued, "_You hurt her. She hated you, Jess. She still hates you. Why do you think she let me take you? She didn't fight with everything she had to keep you. Why do you think she put you in harms way in the first place? She doesn't love you. She never has._"

"_You lie,_" Jessica growled. Her hands fisted in the tiny blanket.

Anne smirked, bending down to her level. "_Do I? You know what I say is true. Your own father doesn't even like you. He just puts up with you. They only love your brother. Yukio is the star. He is the good boy. He is just like his father. He looks like his mother, Gaara's love. Why would he want you? You are nothing to him. You are nothing to Kira. If they loved you, they would have told you she was back._" She chuckled again. "_You know I am right. There is no denying it._"

Jessica shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. "_But-but... Doe-sensei told me my mother loved me. And Doe-sensei is my mom, so she's not lying! And Daddy loves me! He tells me all the time he loves me! You lie!_" Jessica screamed at her. Anne frowned and back handed her again.

Anne stood back up, glaring down at the girl at her feet. "_You are pathetic, just like Kira. You will believe anything someone tells you. Pathetic._" With that Anne left the room, slamming the door shut.

Jessica broke down into tears, sobbing loudly.

* * *

**What do you think their next move will be? Let me know in a review!**


	29. Naked

**Here it is! Chapter 28 for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 28, Naked.

My concentration slipped and I opened my eyes and looked into Gaara's. I can see the rage in his eyes that I feel. I can see the desperation to free her. We stepped away from each other, but his hand was firmly around my own, squeezing my fingers. I squeezed his back.

"You found her," Grandpa whispered. He knew. Had he followed my path?

I nodded. "Anne is abusing her. We need to free her, Grandpa."

He nodded slowly, his arms crossing across his chest. His eyes were distant as he thought. "If she is anything like the two of you, she is strong. She can last a little longer. Kira, don't give me that look. There is much you need to learn before you can save her. And the first is who you are."

I gritted my teeth. "I know who I am," I told him. "I am Kira Lorenzo. Daughter of a billionaire, heiress to the Lorenzo name. I am the mother of Jessica and Yukio Sabaku. The killer of Matsuri and the care taker of her son." I squeezed Gaara's fingers tighter. "And I will save my daughter."

Grandpa's eyes narrowed. "That is not all that you are, Kira. And I think you know that."

My jaw started to hurt from the pressure I forced upon it. "What do you mean?" I took a deep breath, trying to be patient, but when I saw his eyes narrow even more I lost it. "Dammit, Grandpa! I need to get Jessica! I can't let this continue. She needs me, Grandpa! She needs her mother!"

Gaara put a calming hand on my lower back. "Kira, listen to him." he whispered. I could hear the strain in his voice. Why? Why isn't he agreeing with me? He knows she is hurting. A parent cannot let their child be hurt like this. Instinct says to charge in and whisk her away from all of the pain. So why is he holding himself back? Does he know that every second could be Jessica's last? Anne is unpredictable. I've known that for so long. Since my first trip to this world.

I forced myself to relax, to loosen my grip on his fingers before I crushed them. When he flexed them within my grasp I knew I was holding on to them to tightly. I ignored my rising blush and met Grandpa's eyes. "Tell me, then," I whispered. "Who am I?"

His arms fell to his side and he shrugged. "How should I know? I haven't seen you since you were a little girl." Why do I feel like slamming my head against the closest tree? Oh yes, its because my Grandpa is an idiot. He carefully folded his hands in front of him. "That is for you to figure out, dear."

I felt myself becoming tired. This is all to much for one day. "Where do I start?" I asked, much to pathetically if you ask me. "I just want my baby back."

Sadness showed in his eyes. "I know. But before you can get her back, you need to know who you are. A good place to start is with yourself. I know for a fact that is not what my grown Granddaughter looks like. Go back to your roots and start there." He came closer and placed a hand on my shoulder. His brown eyes so much like my own. "And do not be afraid to lean on those you love. You can't carry everything alone on your shoulders, Kira. It is much to big a burden for you to carry."

He leaned down and kissed my forehead, just like he used to when I was a small girl. I wrapped my arms around him, taking in his scent. Just like I remembered. Just like home. He hugged me back. "What if I fail? What if I can't save her, Grandpa?"

He chuckled. "You will. You have help, remember. There are people here who will help you."

I looked up at him and tried to hold back my tears. "Will you stay?"

He shook his head. "There are other places I need to be. But do not worry, I am never far from you." He pointed to my head. "Use your brain and track me down if you need me." I nodded and he kissed my forehead again. "And don't worry. You will get her back."

– –

I stood in front of my mirror staring at myself. Going back to my original state is like stripping off layers of clothing. I feel unprotected, vulnerable. The first thing to change was my hair. I made it longer and put the slight wave into it. I made it the same brown color I have had all my life. The next was my height and muscle tone. I went back to my normal height and shrunk my muscles to what they had been when I arrived here. The next was my skin color. I changed it back to the slight tan I had before, unlike the dark tan I had been keeping it at. I shifted my eyes back to brown.

The last was my facial structure. I made myself sit as I did this part. Bones snapped and cracked as they reshaped, and I cried out a few times. Not loud enough to make the others come in.

Naruto, Hinata, Gaara, and Sakura and Kakashi wait in my living room. The children are thankfully at school right now.

As I wiped the blood from my face I heard the door open and close, then Kiba's loud voice filled the silence. I heard him asking why he smelt blood. There was a knock on my door then Gaara was entering, his question falling on silent lips. He stared, hand still on the door knob. I stared back, feeling more naked than ever. This is me.

This is who I truly am.

I saw him struggle to swallow, then everyone else was in the doorway, peering over his shoulder to see what I look like. Sakura pushed through, asking if I needed anything healed. I shook my head no and stood awkwardly while they all checked me over. It was Kiba who was the first to come out of his stupor, having already seen my true appearance.

"Well there! Back to your beautiful self." He slung his arm around my shoulders. "Now," he winked at me, "how abut that date you promised me?"

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the smile. "In your dreams, dog boy."

I glanced over at Gaara, who is still standing by the door, though no longer holding onto the door knob. I walked over to him, clearing my throat as I remembered to change my voice back. I swallowed the blood. This is the first time he is seeing _me_ since I left ten years ago. I reached up and brushed back some hair from his face. He looks frozen. But not emotionless. Definitely not emotionless.

I ran my hand down his face and stopped at his chin. My fingers lingered there. "Well?" I asked in a whisper.

He blinked, his eyes focusing on my eyes. "I never thought this would happen," he whispered back. "I never thought I would see _you_ again. The real you." I smiled and ran my hand down his face again.

I took a deep breath and turned to the others, slowly letting it out. "Well, this is me. And it's time we get down to business."

As we walked through the streets together, everyone stopped and stared. I walked in the middle of the group with Gaara at my side, looking straight ahead. One look and everyone who saw me knew who I was.

They knew Kira Lorenzo was alive and ready to fight.

We entered the Hokage building with the whole village behind us silent and staring. No one spoke as we walked up the steps towards where Tsunade stood in front of the doors. Her arms were crossed on her chest and she wore a deep frown.

"Is it that time already?" She asked softly.

I looked her straight in the eyes. "Yes, Tsunade-sama. That time has finally come."

We all entered the building, Gaara still at my side. Yukio stood there, looking wide eyed at me. He held something in his hand, and he kept glancing down at it. I smiled and walked over to him, glancing at what he held.

It was the picture I found in Gaara's desk. The one of him and me. So he has shown it to the twins before. I smiled and ran my hand over Yukio's hair. Tears formed in his eyes and he sprang at me, hugging me as tightly as he could. I wrapped my arms around him and lifted him up, whispering soothing words as he cried. Ryuu stepped out from the shadows and looked at me with a scowl. His hands were fisted at his sides. I held one of my hands out to him, but he just took a step back.

Gaara's hand touched my lower back and he whispered in my ear. "We don't have time right now. You can deal with Ryuu later." I grudgingly nodded and followed him towards the stairs, still holding my son. I glanced back at Ryuu, only to find him glaring after me.

Temari and Kankuro waited in the room, both with smiles on their faces. Temari took Yukio and sat on the couch with him, running her fingers through his red hair. Tsunade sat down at her desk and rested her chin on her laced fingers. Gaara walked over to his and stood behind it, looking out the windows at the crowd that had gathered below.

"What course of action will you take?"

Now that I am back, I have no set boundaries. I am neither a Konoha ninja, nor am I a Suna ninja. While I was in hiding, I was under Tsunade, and that was only because I lived in her village. Now I belong to no where. But I also belong everywhere.

"I will get my daughter back and I will end the threat to Konoha and Suna's people."

Gaara slowly turned to look at me. I turned to meet his gaze. If I survive this, if I live through what is to come, I will leave the rest up to Gaara. If he wants me back, I will come back to him with open arms. If he does not, then I will leave and try to find a way home. What happens after this is up to him.

I began to explain to Tsunade the route we will take and where Jessica is. I drew on a map and pointed out points that I noticed that are occupied by the enemy troops, and where they are more scarce. To get there as quickly as possible, we will skirt around the bigger areas of the enemy, but on the way back we will go through the center of them. We will have the upper hand, using a surprise attack. They will never expect it from behind.

And I will be taking all of Konoha eleven as well as the Sabaku siblings with me. No one else. That is more than I should be taking, but it is who I will need. The others need to stay behind and protect Konoha if they are attacked again. When I was done my explanation I looked back over at Gaara. He now sits in his chair with Yukio in his lap, both staring at me. Yukio still holds the picture in his hand.

I walked over to them and bent down to kiss Yukio on the forehead. "I have always loved you, my son. And I am sorry I had to lie to you for so long. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday. I love you so much." I kissed his forehead again and ran my hand over his hair.

Naruto stepped forward then, a smile on his lips. "Kira," he seemed happy to finally be able to use my name, "we need to go get you fitted for armor."

I nodded and ran my hand over his hair once more before turning away. We made it to the stairs when a bang had me pausing.

"Momma!" Yukio ran towards me, his arms wide open. I bent down and swept him into a hug, holding him tightly. "I love you, too, Momma!" He whispered in my ear. My heart swelled with happiness. "And I forgive you. I love you, Momma!"

I hugged him tighter. "I love you, too, Yukio."

– –

I slipped my shirt back on, watching as the girl sketched down my measurements. I followed her out into the other room and listened to her conversation with the leather maker. He nodded and looked me over. His head tilted to the side.

"Add a centimeter on the arms, and make the stomach longer. Also take away two centimeters from her neck line." The girl nodded and wrote down the new measurements. The leather maker explained. "To fit you right we are going to have to take into account your movement. That is the reason for the adjustments." I nodded. He took the measurements and went off to begin to work on them. "It will be finished by tomorrow. I will work on it all night. I will need you in the morning for a final fitting before I complete it."

I nodded. "I will be here bright and early."

Naruto and I went to eat then, going to get some ramen. The old man greeted me warmly, remembering who I was. His daughter no longer works there, now that she is married and pregnant with her third child. I ate and ate, keeping up with Naruto until he started his sixth bowel. Five is more than enough for me!

"Kira," a voice said from behind me.

I turned in my chair and looked at the man peeping from the other side of the half curtain like things. I smiled. "I'll catch you later, Naruto."

He nodded and called for another bowel. When will he realize I left him to pay for mine?

Gaara held the flap up as I left. We stood staring at each other for a minute before we started walking, heading for the Hokage mountain. I jumped out onto the ledge of Tsunade's head and stared out at the village, breathing in the fresh air. Tomorrow will begin my hunt to get my daughter back. And I don't say fight because it is not a fight. I will hunt down and kill anyone who gets in my way.

Anne will die for good this time. I will make sure of it.

A breeze blew, brushing my hair back over my shoulders. I caught Gaara staring at me from the corner of my eye. I looked over at him. What is he thinking? I swallowed my uneasy feeling and looked back out at the village. I felt for Jessica again, finding her in the same room she had been in before. But she sleeps now. I tilted my face towards the night sky and filled my lungs with the sweet air of Konoha.

Tomorrow is not only the beginning of my hunt, but also the day the war begins its final leg. We will come out victorious. Once Jessica is safe deep behind our lines I will return to the front line and fight. I only hope I can do enough to give us the upper hand. Maybe, if I survive this war, we can rebuild Suna. Bring it back to the glory it once held.

Gaara's fingers laced between my own, bringing my hand to his lips. He gently kissed my knuckles and stood close as he also looked out at the village.

When I returned home that night Ryuu waited on the couch for me. He glared as I came in. I sighed and rubbed my face as I walked over and sat next to him. "Okay. Tell me what's wrong. Why have you been avoiding me, Ryuu? And why do you keep glaring?"

His jaw locked. "You are why he didn't want my mom. Its all your fault she left me behind."

I frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

Ryuu looked away from me. "I'm not stupid. I know who you are. You are Kira Lorenzo. Jessica and Yukio's Mother and Kazekage-sama's lover." His hands fisted at his sides. "Because he lost you he didn't want Mom. He kicked her out of the village and she left me behind because she didn't want me anymore. If it wasn't for you Momma would still be here and she would still love me."

Wow. What do I say to that? He is right. If I had never showed up in the first place Gaara and Matsuri probably would have gotten together and been together for a long time. And it was my fault he kicked her out. Or she left. I'm not completely sure if she was kicked out or if she left.

"It's all your fault," he said again.

There was a noise from the glass door and then Gaara entered, a scowl on his face. "That is not true, Ryuu." Gaara's arms crossed over his chest and he scowled down his nose at the small boy. "Your mother left because she could not handle the truth. Her and I were never meant to be and she did not understand that and she herself left. She was never kicked out and she was given every opportunity to return."

"Liar!" Ryuu yelled at him. He jumped off the couch and stood, shaking with anger. "You are lying! She would never have left me behind if it wasn't for you!"

Something seemed to have clicked in Gaara's head, because he uncrossed his arms and knelt on one knee in front of Ryuu. He placed a hand on he boys shoulder and looked into his eyes. "Ryuu, your mother was a great woman. But she made mistakes she couldn't deal with." He shifted a little, meeting Ryuu's eyes head on. "And she loved you very much. Matsuri knew she could not keep the both of you alive if she left. So she left you in the care of her family. It was the smart thing to do. If she had taken you with her, you would be dead, too. And she knew that."

Ryuu's eyes widened in horror. "Momma's... dead?"

I closed my eyes and waited for Gaara's next words. He hadn't known. No one had told him. He's going to hate me even more.

I felt Gaara's gaze then it left me just as quick. "Your mother, she... Matsuri made some bad choices, Ryuu. She was helping the enemy. And she was killed because of it." Tears welled in Ryuu's eyes. Gaara's hand moved towards Ryuu's face, but stopped short of brushing away the boys tears. "You are safe, Ryuu," he said softly, his hand going back to his side. "And you are loved. Kira loves you. She has taken care of you since she first met you. She did not have to. She could have left you to suffer with Matsuri's family. Do not be mean to Kira. She saved you from that life."

Ryuu sniffled but didn't say anything. He just continued to glare at Gaara.

I could see Gaara was starting to get irritated. He doesn't know what to say. He has never really had to deal with something like this. The Twins grew up knowing how to communicate with him, but Ryuu hadn't. And Gaara is struggling to communicate with his other son. Does he know Gaara is his father?

Ryuu glanced at me finally, after moments of silence. He looked slightly ashamed. I walked over to him and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Ryuu," I whispered. "I hadn't known she had a son. I would have given her a second chance, had I known. I'm so sorry."

Ryuu shoved me with everything he had. "You killed my mother?" He screamed at me. "You killed her!" The tears were running down his cheeks again. "I hate you!" I tried reaching for him, but he knocked my hand away. "I hate you! Stay away from me. I hate you!" And he ran out the door.

I stared after him. What have I done?

Gaara placed a hand on my shoulder. "He will come around, Kira." he whispered. "He doesn't have far to go."

I nodded, still numb. I was all that boy had. What have I done?

Gaara's other hand gripped my other shoulder and he waited until I looked up at him. "I will send Kankuro out to find him, alright? He will be safe." He bent down and brushed his lips against mine, then kissed my forehead. "Get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a big day."

Gaara turned to leave, but I snatched his hand. "Don't leave," I whispered. I feel like a child asking her parent not to leave her alone in the dark with the monsters. "Please, don't leave." I cursed the tears prickling my eyes. Losing Ryuu like that is just like having Jessica taken from me. "Please."

Gaara's hand came up and brushed my tears away. "Do you want to come spend the night with Yukio?" I continued to grip his other hand tightly. I want to so bad. But can I? Will Yukio accept me? He said he forgave me. Gaara's arm came around my waist and he tugged me closer to him. Our hands stayed to the side, gripping each others tightly.

I blinked and we were standing outside of a house. Smaller than my apartment building, but homey. I left Gaara and walked up the steps, something drawing me up them. I opened the door and kicked off my shoes, looking all around as I walked down the hallway. It's an old building. The walls are made of wood, and a few places on the floor creak. When I glanced into a room everyone sitting in there stared. Temari. Kankuro. Yukio. My family.

Yukio gasped dramatically and ran towards me, wrapping his arms around me. "I love you, Momma!" His voice was muffled, but it made my heart soar. I wrapped my arms around him and picked him up. Boy is he heavy!

"Do you want to play a game?" I asked him.

He smiled brightly and his eyes got bigger. He nodded vigorously.

I gave Kankuro a side smirk. "The game is called 'Tickle Uncle Kanky until he pees'!" I set Yukio down and we both ran at Kankuro as he tried to scramble away from us. We laughed as we tackled him.

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**What is your thoughts on this turn out? Like or dislike? Would love to hear your view!**


	30. Beginning of the End

**It's been a few weeks, but never fear, I have not forgotten! Here is chapter 29, thanks for all of the reviews! They keep me motivated!**

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Chapter 29, Beginning of the End.

That night I fell asleep with Yukio on his bed. He breathed softly next to me early the next morning, while I just stared at him. This is my baby boy. I am finally able to be a mother to him. I stroked back his red hair and twirled it between my fingers. I stared across the room at Jessica's empty bed. I will get my daughter back today. I will find her.

And she will be saved by her mother and father.

There was a soft knock on the door. Gaara came over and looked down at the two of us. I smiled sheepishly up at him. "Breakfast is ready," he whispered. Gaara helped me move Yukio away from me so I could get up without waking him. I followed Gaara downstairs to where Temari sat at the table eating with Kankuro and Ryuu. I was surprised to see Ryuu sitting there. I'm glad Kankuro found him last night. Gaara tugged gently on my arm and bent down to whisper in my ear. "He and I had a talk. Everything is alright now."

I looked up at him greatfully. "Thank you," I whispered. I walked into the room and over to Ryuu, wrapping my arms around him and kissing the top of his head. "Good morning, Ryuu." I laid my cheek on the top of his head and waited for his reaction.

"Good morning, Kira-sensei," He said softly. I smiled and kissed the top of his head once more and took my seat next to him. He pushed eggs around on his plate with a fork. "Will you be gone long?" He asked hesitantly.

I took a bite of toast and chewed thoughtfully. The others were silent. "I don't know, Ryuu." I said carefully. "I cannot say for certain."

He nodded and pushed his eggs around some more.

Yukio came in then, rubbing his eye. "Dad?" Gaara waved him over and Yukio ran over to him, climbing in his lap. I know Gaara wont let that happen much longer. The Twins are getting to big for that. Yukio yawned and looked at his dads face. "You are coming back, right? You and Momma will come back?"

Gaara's eyes met mine over the top of his head. "Of course I will come back, Yukio," he said. "And your mother will, too." I dropped my eyes and locked my jaw. "I promise." How dare he do that. He knows we could both die.

Now that my identity is out I am going to be the biggest target of all. And once everyone realizes the extent of my powers, only the people I know as my true friends will I be able to trust. And maybe not all of them. My chances of dying are greatly higher than my chances of living and returning to Konoha. This will be the final battle. Jessica will be saved and the battle will begin.

I could tell Ryuu was looking at me, as well as Yukio and Gaara. "You will come back, right Kira-sensei?"

I met Gaara's eyes once more. "This is a war, Ryuu. I cannot say whether I will or not." Yukio looked down. "But I promise I will try to come back."

Ryuu nodded and stared at his eggs.

After breakfast I went to Temari's room to change into my fighting gear. I slipped into my black AMBU outfit and laced up my boots. I hid kunai in various places, including the compartment in the heal of my boot. I tied my hair back in a high pony tail and looked at myself in the small mirror.

There was a soft knock and Temari opened the door. She was already dressed and ready for a fight. "It's time. The others are on their way to the gates." I nodded.

It's time.

Time for the beginning of the end.

– –

I grabbed a branch and propelled myself to the next. We've been traveling for four hours now. And we still aren't close to Jessica yet. I can see her in the back of my head, sitting curled up in that ratty blanket. Freezing. Hoping for us to save her. Waiting. I swung to another branch and used the wind to send me three trees ahead. I matched Gaara's pace.

Gaara's eyes fell on me briefly then he pushed off the branch a little harder, trying to get ahead of me once again.

It's been like this since we left. Our goodbyes to Yukio were tearful on my part. But promising on Gaara's. Ryuu gave me a hug but didn't say anything. He knew the hidden words behind what I said. He knows it is not likely I will make it home. Gaara seems to think I will make it home. He doesn't think I will die fighting.

Yukio thinks the same.

And Gaara doesn't like that I keep saying I will not promise to return.

Gaara jumped ahead of me again, throwing a glance over his shoulder this time. I rolled my eyes and jumped and grabbed another branch, doing a complete flip around it. I let go when my feet pointed to the ground and dropped, landing a little poorly. I quickly regained my balance and glanced around me, making sure I didn't just drop in on someones camp. The people that had been behind me immediately fell to my sides, but it took Gaara a little to get back to us. He was glaring when he finally reached us.

I dropped my pack to the ground and stretched my arms over my head. "Let's set up camp here for the night. We've covered enough distance for today. Good job, everybody." I brushed past Gaara with a smirk. It probably really pissed him off that I dropped like that, without protection.

A big thing from Tsunade before we left is that I'm never to be alone. I must be guarded to ensure that I survive until we can get Jessica back. Everyone had agreed full heartedly. I had, too. With limits. Jessica needs to be saved. But I also need moments of peace to search for her. They are on the move again, I can feel it without really concentrating.

Camp was set up in a timely manner and a small cooking fire was built. With Kiba and Akamaru, we didn't need to worry about anyone spotting us. They would smell the person long before they saw any smoke or light.

"Hinata?" The woman looked over at me with a soft smile. "Would you like to go wash up with me?" The best part about being a woman, is that Gaara isn't allowed to go with me to wash up. He seems to have it in his head that he is my primary guardian. Though, I remember Kiba saying something about him being my guardian before I returned to this world. What had he meant?

"Of course." Hinata grabbed a few things and we walked towards the small river we made camp close to.

The water was biting cold, but I undressed and slipped in anyway. I found an area where the current wasn't as strong and sat on a rock, breathing out slowly as I started to concentrate on Jessica's whereabouts. They've stopped for the night, too. But they are still a great distance ahead of us. Maybe two days and we will catch up with them. Maybe sooner if they find another bunker to stay in for awhile.

A picture of her formed in my head. This time she was tied up, sitting against a tree just out of the light of a fire. She was shivering, she didn't have that ratty blanket. Only her torn clothes they had taken her with. The dried blood was almost all gone now, but I could see the large scab where it all came from. Her upper right temple was covered in the brown scab. I could see her eyes drooping. She must be so tired. Her hair is all matted, but it was pulled back away from her face. They probably did that so she would keep up with their traveling pace.

I opened my eyes and stared at the water.

Don't worry, Jessica, I whispered in my head, We are coming.

– –

The next morning we were moving before the sun was up. Everyone was awake and itching to start moving, so we left. I hadn't had much sleep, I stayed up most of the night keeping an eye on my daughter as she slept. My jumps were a little sloppy and I missed a branch or two, having to double my speed to get back in front of the group with Gaara.

He looked over at me. "How much farther?"

I closed my eyes briefly, landing on a branch and searching with my minds eye. A sliver of panic spread through me like a wild fire. I can't feel her. I can't feel Jessica! My eyes snapped open to his. He must have seen my panic because he stepped closer, lowering his voice.

"What's wrong?"

I tried again. But its no use. "I can't feel her," I whispered. The sliver of panic grew. Why can't I feel her? I sat down on the branch and put my head in my hands. I tried harder, pushing myself to extremes. There is no reason why I shouldn't feel her. There is nothing that can keep me from feeling her. Nothing! Grandpa. Maybe he will know what's going on.

I searched for him quickly, but it took a little longer to find him that it should have. _Yes, my dear?_

I felt myself relax slightly. Thank god. _Grandpa, I can't feel her. Why can't I feel Jessica anymore? I've been able to see her up until now. And I know they aren't far from me. Could she be hiding herself like you have?_

I could feel him thinking that over. _It is a possibility, yes. But she doesn't know how. _He thought some more. I pushed the whispers around me out of my head. _I think they are not far from you. I also think they know you are coming and they are hiding her. I do not know how they would be able to hide her from you, but they seem to be doing it. I tried to follow your path to her and I can see where the connection was cut._

My hope faltered. _What does that mean, Grandpa?_ My thought was nothing more than a whisper.

His in return was the same. _I do not know, Kira. I will look into it some more and I will let you know. Rest, do not strain yourself. Stay safe. _

_ You as well, Grandpa_. I opened my eyes then and looked up into Gaara's. His hand came to the side of my face and I rested my cheek on it. My energy was sapped from me after contacting Grandpa. I doubt I could stand right now.

"What's going on?" Gaara asked softly. This thumb grazed over my cheek bone.

I swallowed and looked back up at him, I hadn't realized my eyes had closed. I told him softly everything that has happened. Everything that I was told. Gaara was staring away from me with a blank look, trying to hide his feelings. I could feel everyone standing or sitting tensely around in nearby trees. Temari is within my sight. I glanced over at her to find her staring at me hard.

My eyes dropped.

Gaara's hands wrapped around my upper arms and he lifted me to my feet, then pulled me onto his back. Did he know I don't have enough strength to stand? I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head on his shoulder. His hands tightened around my legs.

"We will keep moving," He said. "They are not far. Kiba, see if you and Akamaru can pick up their sent."

"Hai."

Gaara turned slightly. "Sakura, Ino, stay close." And then he was jumping.

I held on tightly, hoping for the best, dreading the worst.

– –

By nightfall I still hadn't been able to see her. Everyone made camp around Sakura and I. She pushed power into me as I searched and searched, keeping me energized as well as alive. I thought I had felt a brushing of her at one point, but when I looked for the area where I felt it, I couldn't find anything else.

When Sakura had had enough and was ready to fall over asleep, we stopped. Kiba helped her into a tent and put her to bed. I continued to sit in front of the fire, drawing as much power from the trees and grass around me as I could to power myself. I couldn't keep it up long without killing the plant life. So I stopped for now.

Hinata handed me some food, and I picked at it, not wanting to upset her. But I'm not hungry. I know I should eat to keep myself stable, but how can I? I don't know if Jessica has had anything to eat in the days since I have last seen her. I glanced over at Gaara across the fire. He was chewing a piece of bread, staring into the flames.

I stood and walked over to him, standing in front of him until he looked up. I held my hand out to him. His hand folded around mine and he stood, following me into the dark trees. I kept walking even after we were completely out of hearing range. I don't doubt that if we are within hearing distance of Kiba, everyone will know what's going on.

Once I decided we were far enough away I turned to Gaara and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body to his. His hands held my waist tightly. "I need you to breathe," I whispered to him. "Breathe and think of Jessica. Think of everything you know about her." He nodded and rested his forehead against mine, his arms fully wrapping around me and held me tightly.

My hands circled his head, digging deep into his hair. I linked my thoughts with his, thinking of nothing but Jessica.

I pushed into his head the first time I saw her in his and Tsunade's office. How I thought she was beautiful and perfect. And how much of myself I could see in her. My immediate love for her. I showed him the image of her running through Konoha with me when we began her training. I showed him her lifting up her brothers as she concentrated. Those were all of the good memories I had stored to show him.

Gaara's forehead pressed tighter against mine and images started rushing into my head.

Jessica when she was a baby. Her first bath, splashing Yukio as she giggled. Jessica in a light green dress sitting still as Temari brushed her hair. Jessica as she struggled to learn how to fight. Jessica crying when she cut open her leg. Jessica smiling on her birthday as she and her brother blew out the cake candles. Jessica and Yukio standing at my grave holding hands.

Gaara's lips touched mine.

All of a sudden I could feel her. I gripped Gaara's head tightly and pushed all of my power to where she was, instantly bringing up an image of her. The image transferred into Gaara's mind. His arms tightened. Jessica was looking towards me, if that is even possible. There were tears on her cheeks. Her shirt is ripped open, and the left side of her face is one big bruise. I lifted out from her and viewed the area around her, as much as I could. This power only allows me to see a small amount of the surroundings of the person I am looking at.

But I have seen enough.

I opened my eyes and met Gaara's. I could see my anger reflected in his angry eyes. I brushed my lips against his and stepped away, turning in the direction my daughter was. Gaara's hand wrapped around mine and held it tightly.

"We do this together," he said sternly.

I nodded and squeezed his hand back.

– –

I rested my hand on Gaara's shoulder as I leaned over his crouched form, looking at the sleeping bodies below. We easily and soundlessly took out their guards, and now they will all die. I still do not see Jessica yet, but I know she is here. I can feel her. She is so close.

So close.

I jumped to the ground, using the wind to slow my speed until I landed, not making one small sound. Sand snaked in and out of the bodies, getting ready for my command to kill. I glanced up at Gaara, his eyes were on me. Waiting. I searched for Jessica quickly, but still could not see her.

I took out my kunai and plunged it into the neck of the closest person. He gurgled as he died. The person next to him woke and gasped when he saw me, but he was silenced when the sand snapped his neck. Anyone else who so much as stirred was killed effortlessly. I walked among the dead and alive, looking for the faces I saw around Jessica. I spotted one and walked over to him, looking down at him as he breathed slowly in his sleep. I dug my kunai deep into his chest, smiling at him when his eyes flew open and he gasped for air. I twisted my kunai and he flopped down dead.

I ignored his dead staring eyes and moved to the left to look for my daughter.

Blond hair caught my attention. I moved towards a specific tree, but stopped short when Anne stepped around, a knife held to Jessica's throat.

"One more step and she is dead, Kira." Anne crouched behind Jessica, throwing a quick glance around to see if I was alone. Had she seen Gaara? "Drop the weapon."

I let it fall to my feet. "Let her go, Anne. You know you don't want to hurt her. She has done nothing." I tried to take a step closer, but blood appeared against the blade on Jessica's throat. She whimpered.

"Bullshit. I would love to kill this girl." Anne glanced around again. "You know I lost my baby? Because of you. You killed him. When you were taken to the hospital because you collapsed with those weird people, who I thought I knew, just so you know, you killed my baby."

I breathed in. "I did not kill your baby. I was in no state to do such a thing."

Her eyes held flames. "You did!" she screeched at me. Jessica yelped as the knife dug deeper into her skin. "You did kill him! You attacked me and killed him! You stupid whore!" Jessica tried to struggle away, but more blood appeared on her throat and she stopped, more tears running down her face. "I'll kill her, just like you killed my baby. Then we will be even."

Anne is insane. From the look in her eyes I can tell. A thought occurred to me. "Anne, did you find out you lost your baby when you came back here?"

She frowned, still glancing about like the shadows were going to jump her. I nodded to myself, just as I thought.

"Anne, your baby isn't dead." I said it carefully. "He or she is still alive. But in our world. You and I have something in our blood that can make us jump between these two worlds, okay? Your baby must not have that. You still have your original body back home, probably in the hospital. You're baby is alive." I met Jessica's eyes, and I could see panic. Which isn't good. I need her calm and able to think. I tried to get into her mind, but I couldn't from this distance. I need to touch her.

"Liar!" Anne hissed.

It was then that I saw the panic was fake. Jessica jabbed back at Anne's face with her elbow and lunged towards me, but Anne grabbed her ankle. I jumped at Anne and laid a solid fist to her face, over and over until she let go. Jessica scrambled away, and I heard Gaara appear and her run to him. Anne looked up at me with blood on her face.

She smirked. "To bad your daughter is only a clone." And with that Anne's body turned into a hunk of wood.

I spun around and stared at the hunk of wood in Gaara's arms. It dropped to his feet and he looked up at me. "I will kill that bitch," he said softly, dangerously.

I stared off into the forest, my connect with Jessica gone. I do not like this game. Is that what it is? A game? I smirked to myself. Anne should remember that I do not play fairly. I use my resources. I loosened my fingers and made myself relax. Rain dripped on my cheek, then the down pour started. I tilted my face upwards and let it hit my face.

But I was already miles away, searching. Always searching.

I saw the path they had taken, and I saw where it ended. In a river. Assholes. I followed the river both directions at once, keeping my mind on both of them for any signs of humans. But I couldn't find anything. So I snapped back to the place where the tracks stopped and searched for an underground opening. I felt Gaara's hand on me, and I felt his head resting against my neck, then I could feel he was seeing what I was.

We searched the area for anything that could be of help. And then we found it. A small mistake on their part. Half a footprint. I opened my eyes and looked into Gaara's. He nodded and then we were running, top speed, for the spot that was miles away.

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**And there you have it, that was chapter 29! How did you like it? All of the reviews motivate me to keep writing, so if you want it faster, review! review! review!**


	31. Only Human

**Well, all of your reviews had me writing all night last night! So, I decided I would be extra nice and post this chapter for you all. I hope you like it! It's not as long as my others, but I know you will be happy. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 30, Only Human.

We traveled for two days to get to the spot where there was half a footprint. By the time we made it there, the prints were all washed away. But I knew the exact spot where it had been. I grabbed on to the bush next to the spot and yanked until it gave way, then threw it out of my way. If I hadn't been looking or it, hard, I would have missed the trap door.

Gaara grabbed it before I could and through it open.

A kunai pierced my chest.

I fell back in pain and tried to grab at Gaara, but he was already moving out of the way of the kunai that followed the one that hit me. I laid there, gasping like a fish, as I stared at the handle of the weapon. Sand went crazy. All the men in the door were dead in seconds, then he was leaning over me, his eyes wide.

"Kira? Kira? Dammit, Kira!" He yanked the kunai from my chest and held his hand firmly over my wound. "Heal yourself." And I did. My body slowly relaxed as the pain went away. Gaara's hand fisted in my hair and my face was lifted to his, where he kissed me hard. "Be careful, for Kami's sake." I nodded and got to my feet.

I feel like I was never hurt at all.

We rushed down the ladder and into the dark below. Flames danced on my palms, lighting our way. But Gaara grabbed my wrists and I let the flame fall. He started pulling me along, careful to keep his hand around mine. Soon my eyes adjusted and I could see where the tunnel lead. Gaara slowed when it began to get lighter, and we stuck close to the wall. I tried to reach Jessica again, but I failed.

I squeezed Gaara's hand and bent forward a little to see past him. It was then that I saw movement and the walls pulled us into them. Gaara's arms came around me and held me tightly as the people passed us, talking in hushed voices. Thanks to Gaara's quick thinking we weren't seen. I breathed out in relief and stepped back as the wall released us, molding back into the hard compacted dirt it had been before.

A small sand eye floated away from the wall and went to the other side of the hall, looking around the corner. I looked up at Gaara, who was looking at me with one eye shut. His hand rested on my lower back and he nudged me along, holding me still when someone would pass. I never knew having his sand eye would be so helpful.

We came to a grand room, stretching farther than I could see in the dim lighting. The sand eye flew towards the other side of the room and I saw Gaara' brow turn down. While he was busy, I bent down and sat on my heels, pressing my palms to the ground below me. I followed the patterns and searched for my daughter. I cannot feel her, which means she is hidden from me mentally. But no one can physically hide from me.

I see everything.

I spread my parameter and checked the few hidden rooms. Nothing. I stretched it further and found her.

Two miles.

I grabbed Gaara and we started running, his sand eye being the only thing that kept us from getting killed by others.

I came to the area where I knew there was a hidden door. It took us to long to get here. Dead bodies will show us the way back. I ran my fingers over where I knew the door should be, but couldn't find any crack to where it would open.

They sealed her in.

And that is how they are hiding her from me.

Gaara placed his hand on the wall and frowned. "This isn't regular dirt." I knew that, but I nodded. It has something in it, something that I cannot breach with my mind. And without Gaara having been in the room before, there is no way he can get past this material.

I pulled back my hand and slammed my fist against it, as hard as I could. I broke all of my fingers trying, and there was absolutely no damage to the wall. Jessica in side hadn't even stirred. I quickly healed my hand before Gaara could see my broken bones and laid my ear against it. I closed my eyes and tried to break apart the material. I went into it as far as using my strength to break apart each and every molecule, trying to create a hole.

The spot under my ear started to crumble and fall.

I pushed more strength into it. Even if I can get enough to fall away for a grain of sand to slip through, we can be to my daughter.

Sweat prickled on my brow and I pushed even harder, about half way through. The wall is two feet thick. I took a shaky breath. Just a little further. Gaara's hand touched my shoulder. "Just a little more, Kira," he whispered. I could feel his sand following my progress. He gets what I am trying to do.

I gripped the wall with my fingers, trying to hold on. More material, no longer what it had been, came out of the hole, pushed by Gaara's sand. I pressed my forehead against the wall and squeezed my eyes shut. I can do this. I can do this. I can save my baby. I can do this.

"Well, well, well."

Fuck.

I moved just in time to miss Anne's knife. Gaara lashed out at her, but his sand fell uselessly to the ground. I turned towards her, my movements slow and sluggish from my exhaustion. She smirked. "Tired?"

I reached for my thigh holster and pulled out my kunai. The very one Kakashi gave me all those years ago. I held it firmly at my side, watching how she shifted her weight to see when she would strike next. "Open the door, Anne," I whispered. "Give me my daughter back."

Her brow lifted. "How do you know she's not another dummy? You were fooled before."

There was a stirring in the room behind me. "Hello? Who's out there?" Jessica's voice was muffled, but loud enough to hear thanks to my hole.

Anne looked astonished. Didn't think I would get that far, did you? I smirked. "Because I know my baby."

She laughed harshly. "Do you?" She pointed her knife at me. "And how is that? You haven't even known her a year. Again, with the lying."

Gaara took a step towards me, but Anne didn't look at him. Her grudge is with me, not him. He is nothing to her. And he can't get through the wall, she knows this. I don't want him protecting me. I want him to save our daughter. I move closer to Anne, hardening my muscles and making them bigger. Only slightly, so she wont see the difference. Thanks to the lighting and my ANBU outfit, it will be hard to see.

My muscles bunched and I threw my fist at her, but she ducked, backing away. I tried to punch her again, but she kept backing up. I pushed her down the hall like this, Gaara hot on my heels encase I needed help. She bumped into a wall where there was a corner, and was about to run, but I slammed my fist into the wall, trapping her where she was. She glared at me, sliding down the wall slightly so she was ready to spring at me.

Sand tickled my skin as it slipped down the back of my shirt, crawling over my shoulder and down my arm until it made a band just above my elbow. I felt Gaara backing away, then he was running back to where I had made a hole in the wall. I smiled when he started beating the wall where the hole was, with his fists as well as his sand. I could sense a little golden dust mixed into the sand. Where did he get that from?

Anne met my eyes straight on. "He will never get in there," she whispered.

I smiled. "You don't know my Gaara," I whispered back.

Her eyes were blank. "And even if he does, she will die. There's a trap," her voice was so soft. I could barely hear it over the noise Gaara was making. My heart skipped a beat. "You know I'm not lying, Kira. Stop him, before its to late." A trickle of blood ran from her nose.

I took a half step back. "What's going on?"

She smiled at me sadly, wiping at the blood, but more just poured out. "I love you, you know that? And I know you didn't kill my baby." Blood started coming from her left ear. "It was all them. They used me to get to you. They knew you were here. And I knew how to get to you." She blinked and one of her eyes turned pink from the blood that pooled in her eye lid.

"Anne?" I took another half step back. "Anne, what's going on?"

Red tears came from her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kira. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry they made me the distraction. So sorry." She coughed and blood poured from her mouth. She started to shake. I watched as she wiped at her face, whimpering. "I'm so sorry," she kept whispering. More red tears came from her eyes.

Sand folded over her body and hid her from my view. I shuddered as the sand started to turn red. What the hell just happened? A hand touched my back, and my body kicked into instinct mode. I grabbed the hand, spun around, and pulled and twisted the arm in my hands until the person was up against the wall, back to me. Gaara glared at me over his shoulder.

I quickly released him and put my hands to my face. What is wrong with me right now? I wanted her death. I wanted to kill her. I wanted her dead. Why am I shaking? Why am I behaving like she never did a single thing she has done?

Because I am human.

That is the only reason I can think of. Gaara touched my arm, careful to pull away when I brought my hands down. I looked up at him and swallowed the lump in my throat. This fight is far from over. I walked over to where Gaara had been beating on the wall. The hole I made was a little deeper. Not much, but enough for me to finish it easily.

Once the hole was all the way through Gaara was gone, his sand sprinkling into the hole. I could hear Jessica's cries when she saw her father. In seconds they were on my side of the wall, and Jessica had her arms locked around me. My legs gave out and I sunk to the ground, holding her tightly. Gaara's arms wrapped around both of us and then the sand began swirling.

"Kira!"

"Gaara!"

People rushed at us, trying to see if we were hurt. I kept my hold on my daughter, never letting go. Jessica took a shaky breath and bent back until she could see my face. I ran my fingers down her back, trying to fight the urge to hug her as tight as I could again.

She smiled at me through her tears.

"I'm glad you're back, Momma."

The people who stayed behind in Konoha to ready for the last fight met us outside of the village walls. Gaara carried Jessica. Sakura healed most of her wounds, but only the life threatening ones. Tsunade would need to check her over before anything else could be done, she had said. Tsunade was in the front of the group with Yukio and Ryuu. I took Jessica from Gaara and carried her over to Tsunade, handing her off. Jessica was asleep. From the pain, or weariness, I have no idea. Her face is still bruised badly.

Yukio hugged me tightly, then ran after Tsunade and Sakura and Temari who were taking Jessica to the hospital for a check over. Gaara and I stared after the five of them. I looked down at Ryuu, seeing him staring after Jessica.

"Did they really do that to her?" He whispered.

"Yes," I whispered back. "And much more that you cannot see on her skin."

He shivered. I saw the horror lurking behind his blank face. I ran my hand over his hair and brushed it from his eyes. He didn't flinch away from my touch.

Kankuro stood next to Gaara, looking at me. "We should have a days rest before we head out. Tomorrow night, at dusk, we can get moving. But I think everyone needs a good rest." Gaara nodded. I, also, agreed.

I cannot ask people to risk their lives and not give them a chance to rest and say goodbye first.

– –

After I put Ryuu to bed that night, in the same room as his brother, I went up to the roof and sat in the chill night air. We are not allowed to see Jessica until tomorrow morning. Tsunade said she will be fine, and not to worry. But I am afraid the emotional trauma she suffered will never go away. I hugged my knees to my chest and let out a breath, closing my eyes against the moonless night.

Legs appeared on either side of me, then arms were around me and I was pulled back into a hard warm chest. A blanket draped around the both of us.

"You will get sick if you keep coming out here," Gaara whispered in my ear.

I shrugged, smiling as I leaned back into him. "It never stopped the two of us before. And, if I remember right, it had been _much_ colder at night then."

His nose grazed my neck.

I twisted around so I could look at him. I looked deeply into his eyes. I have everything I want. My babies. My Gaara. I have them all back now. And I will lose it all again tomorrow. I kissed Gaara, trying to put all of my emotions into it. "I love you," I whispered.

I could feel his smile against my lips. "I have always loved you, Kira."

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**Leave me a review!**


	32. Reassuring

**Well, this chapter is up right now purely for my brother. His birthday is tomorrow, and he asked for a new chapter to be posted! How nice of him, huh? I just want to say Happy Birthday Jake, I love you so much! My brother, by the way, is the one who reads over each chapter before I post it. Buuut, I not letting him read this one first. I hope you all enjoy!**

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Chapter 31, Reassuring.

Later that night I lay in bed with Gaara, staring out his window. He had fallen asleep a half hour ago. I am glad he is allowed to rest. I sat up and looked down at him. He is so beautiful.

I ran my hand down his thick chest, tracing all of the lines of scars he has received over the years. My pinkie grazed the burst scar, and it felt cooler than the rest of his skin. I looked away. My mind traveled to Anne. She died so oddly. Was she a trap? Was I supposed to be able to get to my daughter? Why did they kill Anne like that? What did she mean by distraction?

I slid out of bed and took the top blanket with me, wrapping it around my naked body. Anne mentioned a trap before she started bleeding. Nothing had happened when Gaara brought Jessica out of that room. Or had it? Could something have happened that none of us could see? Jessica. Tsunade said we were not allowed to see her because Tsunade is doing some tests. Did they do something to my baby?

No. No, there is no possible way. We got Jessica back because we fought hard for her. There is nothing wrong with my baby. I sat in one of the chairs near the window and closed my eyes. I sent my mind out to hers, gently brushing against her mind to see if she was awake.

_Mom?_ Was her answer.

I smiled in relief. _Yes, Jess, it's me. Are you alright?_

There was a pause, how much does she know to be able to talk through her mind? _I'm okay. Where's daddy?_

_Sleeping. Don't worry, he is safe. You will be able to see him when the sun rises._

I felt her sigh of relief. Always has been, and always will be, Daddy's little girl. Then I felt her thoughts take a different turn, towards something more emotional for her. I tried to follow them, but the distance between us is to much for me to be able to do that.

_Can I ask you something?_ She asked.

I sent a feeling to her to let her know she could.

It took her a moment. And I thought it was because she was trying to concentrate, but when she asked the question, I knew why it took her so long. _Did you leave because I hurt you?_

The question threw me off. My automatic reaction was to say "no!" but, could I say that? I loved her, even when she beat me so much I could barely move. My pregnancy was hell because of her. But no, I didn't leave because of her. And even when she made me burn my hands right before I left. Does she really think it is all her fault?

_No, it's not your fault._ And I meant it. _Jessica, you were a baby. You never meant to hurt me, I know you didn't. What I did back then, well, it was stupid. I shouldn't have done half of what I did. I don't know why I left, I had no control over it. But it definitely was not because you hurt me. I love you, Jessica Taraka Sabaku, and I always will. You are my daughter._

I could feel she wanted to believe me, but she really didn't. How can I convince her?

_You know, people back on my planet thought I was crazy,_ I told her. _They all said I was lying about this place. I tried to tell everyone about it. But they all thought I was crazy. My parents made me see a therapist for five years. Eventually I realized it was best to go along with what they were saying. That it was all a dream. People used to follow me around with camera's and take pictures of anything weird I did and would make a big story about it and say how crazy I am. But I never, not once, believed it truly was a dream. Do you know why?_

I felt her curiosity. _Why?_

_Because of my love for my children. The love I've always felt for you and your brother has always been to strong for me to pass off as something my mind made up. And then I found out I still had my powers. And my scars I got while fighting along side your father were still on my body. I knew all of this was real. And I knew I would see you again one day. _

_ Why did you hide then?_ She asked me. I felt a little bit of anger twisting her thoughts. _Why did you hide from us when you came back? Do you even know how much we've missed you? How much Daddy missed you? Daddy was so torn up about all of it. He was really sad when you were gone. He's changed now that you are back. He is happier. Why did you hide?_

I looked over at Gaara. He rolled over in his sleep so his back was facing me. _I hid because I knew there were people here who you hurt the ones I love if they knew I returned. By hiding my face, I was able to still see you and your brother, be around you. If my face was not hidden, Tsunade would have kept me under lock and key. Because I am such a big target. Jessica, the power I wield is a powerful thing. And people want it. It would have been much worse if I had not hid._

I saw a brief picture of me in my mask on her thoughts. _Yukio and I felt something, you know. We knew something had happened, we just didn't know what. That day we saw you in Daddy's office... we knew you were someone special. We could tell right off. Daddy said it was because you were under Tsunade-sama's protection, and that was the only reason you felt special. Did he know who you were then?_

_No,_ I said back. _He did not. He didn't find out until much later. _

I felt the relaxing of Jessica's mind. She is tired. _Momma, am I special like you? Is that why they took me?_

_Yes, _I sighed and put my hand on my face. _You have the same powers I do, which means you could be a very, very dangerous opponent when you are older. They took you, I think, so they could tell you all of the bad lies about me so you would want to hurt me and hurt the village. Jessica, if you truly wanted to, you could take down this whole village by yourself._

I could feel her amazement. _Can you destroy a whole village by yourself, Momma?_

_ Yes, I could, and will, if someone stands between me and my child again._ I looked towards Gaara as he rolled in his sleep again, now facing me. Is he dreaming? _It is not something I would do because I can do it, Jessica. But if I truly had to, I would. _

She hesitated again. _Are you and Daddy going to go kill all of the bad guys today?_

_Yes, _I said without hesitation. _We will end this war so you and the other children can grow up in a safer world. We kill only for the future's protection. Do you understand?_

_ Yes,_ She said. _Daddy taught us never to kill unless our lives, or someone else were in danger. You never waste a life. _

_ That is a very good thing for you to learn and to lead your life by. _

I felt her mind and concentration starting to slip. She is tired and is starting to fall asleep._ Momma, can I ask you one last thing?_

I smiled. _Yes, sweetheart. One last thing, then you need to go to sleep._

_Do you love Daddy?_

My smile grew. I stared at Gaara, and he stared back. He sat up and got off the bed, walking over to me. _Yes, Jessica. I love Gaara very much. Go to sleep._

_ I love you, Momma._

_ I love you, too, baby girl._

Gaara's hands lifted me and he drew me close to his body, kissing me deeply.

– –

When the sun finally came up Gaara and I dressed and headed out to see our daughter. Temari said she would bring Yukio and Ryuu over later that morning. We entered the hospital and made our way to the room they said she would be in. When I opened the door Tsunade was asleep in the chair next to her bed, and Jessica was still sleeping in the bed. I quietly walked over to her and ran my hand lightly over her hair.

The bruise on her face has been healed drastically, now it is only a slight shade on her face. Gaara's hand lightly touched my lower back as he stood next to me. Jessica's eyes slowly fluttered open and she stared at me for a long moment before her eyes widened and she sat up with a gasp.

"Momma! DADDY!" She screamed the last part and flung herself out of bed at him. Gaara laughed, a real true laugh, as he caught her and held her tightly. "I missed you so much, Daddy!"

"I missed you, too, Jess." He kissed her cheek and smiled at her. "I am glad you are home."

Tsunade cleared her throat as she stood up, wiping away a few wrinkles on her pants. "Back in bed, Jessica." She went to the door and left.

Gaara put Jessica back on the bed, where she climbed under the blankets and pulled them up to her chin. "Can you stay with me?" she asked, looking at both of us.

I smiled and put my knee on the bed. "Move over." She did and I laid down next to her, wrapping her in my arms and holding her tightly. Gaara went around to the other side and put his arm around the both of us as he laid down. I smiled at him over her head.

"I love you," Jessica said as she yawned.

"I love you, too," Gaara and I said at the same time. I smiled and closed my eyes.

Gaara's lips brushed mine lightly.

It wasn't long before Temari brought the other two in. Yukio came running into the room and jumped up on the bed, accidentally knocking me off. He was yelling how much he missed his sister and how much he loves her. I glared at him until he realized what he had done.

"Uh oh..."

"You'd better run," Ryuu said.

I jumped up on the bed before Yukio could run and pinned him down, tickling him. Jessica screamed as she got caught in the middle of it, and kept screaming when I started tickling her. Gaara promptly removed himself from the bed before he was forced to endure a tickling. When we were all out of breath I laid in the bed with my babies and put my arms around them both.

"I love you, two, you know that?" I said, kissing both of them on the forehead.

"We love you, too," they both said. I laughed. It's so odd hearing them say it together.

"Ryuu!" Jessica sat up and waved him over. "Come on, come lay with us! You're our brother too!"

He looked to me. He still blames me for his mothers death, because it was me, I don't blame him. I would be mad and hate me, too. But I moved over a little, and waved him closer. I even stood up and gave him my spot. He ran over with a smile and jumped on the bed, smiling as he covered up with his brother and sister and they all pretended to sleep.

Gaara's arm slid across my shoulders and I looked up at him. "They are so cute."

He nodded. Does this mean he is finally going to accept Ryuu as his son? It will make everything so much easier if he does. That boy needs a father. And Gaara can teach him the right way. They are so much alike in so many ways. Temari came over and tugged on my arm.

"We need you at the Kage tower," she whispered. "If you both want to go, I can keep an eye on these three." I nodded.

I walked over to the bed and leaned over to kiss all three of their heads. "Momma and Daddy need to go meet with Tsunade-sama, okay? Be good for Aunt Temari."

All three smiled up at me. "Bye, Momma!" Jessica giggled and hugged Yukio.

Gaara and I arrived to the office just as Kakashi was coming out. He gave us a nod, but wouldn't raise his eyes to us. He leaned against the wall opposite the door, bending one knee. His orange book appeared in his hand, but it was obvious he wasn't really reading it. He was holding the book upside down. I walked up to him and flipped the book around, then hugged him.

"Everything will be okay, Kakashi. I will make sure of it, okay?" I looked up into his single eye and gave him the best reassuring smile I could. "Everything will be okay."

He grabbed my arm just as I was turning. He met my gaze. "She's pregnant," he whispered.

Oh no... I reached up and touched the side of his face. "Everything will be okay," I said strongly. And it will be.

Gaara took my hand and we walked into the office. Sakura was sitting on the couch, one hand to her face. Naruto stood behind Tsunade's desk, his arms crossed and his back to us. Hinata had a steady hand on his back, looking sadly at the floor. Tsunade was looking at me. Shikamaru sat on the other side of the couch of Sakura, with Ino between them. Kiba stood against the wall next to the door, and Akamaru sits next to him. Choji stands next to Akamaru. Tenten, Neji, Lee, Shino, stood in various places around the room. I looked at each of them in turn.

Tsunade opened her mouth to speak, but there was a gust of wind as a window opened, and Jiraiya jumped in, smiling as big as Naruto usually does. "You weren't going to start this meeting without me, were you?"

I smiled and walked over to him, throwing my arms around him and hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Jiraiya-sama. Thank you for bringing me back."

He hugged me back and then pulled me away at arms length, smiling down at me. "You are welcome, Kira. But this better not be a goodbye we are doing."

I shook my head. "Nope. This is a hello." He winked at me.

Tsunade cleared her throat and sat back in her chair. "We need to figure out what we are going to do, Jiraiya. We need a plan."

He looked towards her. "Our plan is to finish this war. A simple plan."

She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. "Yes. Good plan. But now we need a plan for our plan."

"Our plan, for our plan," I said, "is to go in, kill those bastards, and get out." I turned and looked everyone in the eye. When my eyes landed on Gaara, I knew what we were going to do. "They know I am here. They will be waiting for me." I turned back to Tsunade. "Let me go first, alone. I can kill as many as possible, and hide the approach of everyone else. I can cover their tracks, and keep them hidden as they approach, then I can join their ranks."

I waited for Gaara to disagree and want to go with me, but instead he stepped up to my side and said: "I agree with her plan. That would give us the best advantage."

Tsunade nodded, looking back and forth between us. "Naruto, how do you feel about this?"

He finally turned around and looked at me hard. "I think we all have children and we all need to think about them." His eyes left mine and he looked over at his wife, brushing his hand against her cheek. "I agree with her plan," he said softly.

Tsunade nodded again, then her eyes glanced around the room. "Does anyone have any objections?"

The room was deathly silent. Then Kiba stood up straight and put his hand on Akamaru's head. "Kira, take Akamaru. He will be able to smell danger long before you see it. And he can help keep you safe. Please take him with you. It will make all of us feel better for making you go alone."

Akamaru walked over to me and put his nose in my hand. I scratched behind his ear. "I would love to have you to keep me company, Akamaru." He woofed and licked my hand.

"Its settled then." Tsunade took out a paper and pen and handed them to Naruto. "I want you and the others to write out a battle plan. Kira, you and I need to talk. Come with me." I ran my hand down Gaara's arm as I went around him towards the door. Kakashi still stood in the hall.

Tsunade led me up to the roof.

"You do understand what this means, correct?" She folded her arms and looked at me hard, a little worry in the lines on her forehead.

I smiled at her. "Yes, Tsunade. I know what this means. And I am ready for it."

I saw her swallow and she shook her head, her eyes moving past me. "Why are you willing to die so easily? You shouldn't give up when you have a dream."

I looked down at the floor between us. "And what would that dream be, Tsunade-sama?" I asked in a whisper.

"To watch your children grow. To be with the one you love until you are old."

I let out a light chuckle. "Yes, that would all be fantastic. But it isn't my dream." She looked at me with a frown. "My dream, Tsunade-sama, is for my children to grow up safe in a village that they will have to protect someday. I want them to live normally. Tsunade-sama, if I do this now, if I can end this war, my dream will be accomplished. My children and Gaara will be safe. Do you see why I am doing this now? I'm not giving up my dream to die. I am dying for my dream. I know I will not make it back. But, Tsunade-sama, I do wish all that you said. I wish it so much that it hurts." I paused to take a deep breath, fingering my arm band. "But my babies lives are more important than some silly wish of mine."

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**Once again, happy birthday big brother! Hope everyone enjoyed :)**


	33. War Plans

**Okay, here it is! Chapter 32, enjoy!**

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Chapter 32, War Plans.

When Tsunade and I returned to the office room Naruto already had most of the battle plans drawn up. I glanced over it. I would go in first, that was clearly marked down. Then a squadron lead by Naruto himself would enter from the far left. Okay, I can handle covering them. He would have fifty people on his team. More than three quarters of those names I haven't heard before. But I did hear Hinata's, Kiba's, and Lee's names mentioned.

The next group to enter will be lead by Gaara, and that is to the far right. Them splitting up so much is going to be hard for me to keep track of, but I can do it. Gaara will have fifty men, as well. Kankuro, Neji, Shino, Tenten, and Choji were all mentioned along with the other names. The third group will come up behind me, the easiest to keep safe. That will be the medic team. Sakura and Ino, as well as Temari for a guard, were among the hundred names. The biggest group, but also the most important. Others have been put in that are not medics, so they can protect them and also distract the enemy.

Naruto's group and Gaara's group will attack at the same time, throwing them off balance. That, is what is going to be the hardest of all for me. I need to keep the enemy busy long enough for them to sneak up and get in position.

I know I can do it.

My part, however, was only mentioned in that I will give the command to start moving. Or my death will be the command. I know Naruto didn't want to put that in there, but I knew he had to. Should I die before I can cover them all, they need to be ready to move. It says nothing about what I will do. And that is because it will be decided by me when I get there.

I looked at all of the names. There are more that are coming behind the medic group. Hundreds more. I wiped a hand over my face, trying to dispel my uneasy feeling. To many will die. I cannot protect everyone. The best I can do is kill as much of the enemy as I can, and give my people the best advantage. I nodded to myself. That is all I can do. I looked up to a silent room, with all eyes trained on me.

"How will I get my message across when it is time?" I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping to block in all of my feelings so the others do not see them.

Naruto searched my eyes for a moment, then looked down and grabbed a bag off the floor. He pulled out a radio. "You will wear this." I took it from him and looked at it. It had an ear piece, a mouth piece and a collar to wear around your neck. "All of the leaders will have one. And some of the commanders. Alright? We will keep in touch with each other. Understood, Lorenzo?"

I smirked. "Yes, sir!"

We both laughed. The laughing erased my unease and I felt better. We can do this.

We can beat those bastards!

– –

I walked into Jessica's hospital room. Her face lit up when she saw me. I climbed on the bed with her and wrapped my arms around my baby girl. She hugged me back tightly, her head on my chest. I kissed her hair and closed my eyes. Jessica snuggled up to me, her arms tightening. The door opened and I looked up to see Yukio standing there. I smiled and waved him over.

Yukio climbed up on the bed and put his arms around both his sister and I. I wrapped an arm around him and hugged them both close. "I love you both," I whispered, kissing both of their heads. I laid there with my children, holding them tightly. I'd love more than anything to spend more time with them. But I have to think of their future. They cannot live a happy full life if they have a war raging on. I need to end this.

I need to end this for their sake.

I kissed both of them again and stood up, straightening my ANBU outfit. "Be good for Tsunade-sama, okay?"

"Okay," They said at the same time. "Be careful!" Jessica called to me.

I turned at the door and smiled at them. _I love you, _I whispered in their minds.

_We love you, too,_ both of their voices filled my head. I smiled and left, shutting the door behind me. I feel like I should be surprised that Yukio can mind speak as well, but I find myself feeling like I already knew he could.

I found Gaara alone in his office. As soon as his eyes met mine the tears started. I put my hands up to wipe them before he could see, but he was already in front of me, pulling my hands away from my face. The falling of my tears sped up when I looked into his eyes again. Gaara wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him, putting his cheek against mine.

"Everything will be alright," He whispered.

I put my arms around him and held him tightly. "I love you." I tightened my arms around him. "I wish we had more time."

His nose brushed against mine. "When this is over we will have all the time in the world."

I shook my head, a sob coming out. Why does he still think I will live through this? This is my suicide mission. I am choosing to die so others may live. Why doesn't he get that? I shook my head. He is such a jerk.

His hands grabbed at my back tightly. "Kira," I couldn't help but look up at him. His voice sounds so strained. His eyes have a wild look in them. Almost like panic. "You are coming back." I tried to look away, but his hand turned my chin back up so I was forced to look at him. "I can't lose you again, Kira." I've never heard so much emotion in his voice. "I can't lose you. Not again. I wont. You are my children's mother. You are the love of my life. Do not leave me like that again, Kira."

Tears blurred my vision. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I sobbed.

I clung to him tightly.

– –

I viewed the army from the light rain coming from the clouds above. There are thousands. Will our army be able to stop them? It's all up to me then.

I need to tip the tides in our favor.

I let go of the rain eyes and stood from my crouched position under the roots of an over turned tree. My waterproof boots made only a slight sound as I walked through the ankle deep puddle towards the other side of the trunk. I climbed out of the water and looked around. I know there aren't any scouts within sight, but I can't afford to miss something.

I moved quickly and quietly.

A voice was whispered over the radio, but I turned it down. I can't lose my concentration. The snap of a twig had me falling to the ground, scrambling for cover. I peeked out from around the thick brush. A deer. Wait. I followed the movement behind the deer. An arrow was shot and the deer fell. Three men came up and talked quietly over the dead animal. Each grabbed a leg and started to drag it back the way they came. So they are hunting for food. If I had the time I would starve them off.

But I don't have that time.

I crawled along the ground, following at a great distance. Once I could hear the hustle and bustle of many men, I found a close tree and climbed it, all the way to the top. Just over the top of the trees I could see them. The camp of thousands. Perfect. They are all huddled close together, which means they will be easy to take out. I turned up the radio only slightly and pressed the speaker button twice, to let them know to be silent. I was about to speak.

I whispered as quietly as I could. "I have found their camp. They are hunting for food. They are restless. I can destroy half their camp in one blow, but I don't know how many that will kill. Stand by."

There was static in my ear. "Be careful," whispered Gaara's voice.

I didn't respond.

Akamaru sat on the branch next to me. He is so quiet I had forgotten he followed me this whole way. He is such a good dog. I sat on the branch and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. He kept his eyes on the enemy. If they should see us before I am done, he will warn me and protect me.

I put my hands together in front of me and pressed them together tightly. My vision shot down the tree and out towards the enemy, surrounding them. I saw them all, felt them all, heard them all. They suspect nothing. They see nothing. They feel nothing. They hear nothing. I spread my power out all over the ground, spreading it out a mile away from their camp on all directions. I need not to worry about my teams because they are still five miles out. They know better than to get to close. I felt everything like I was running my very own fingers over it. I saw everything like I was standing right there looking at it with my very own eyes.

I quickly took in everything and waited, waited, waited. Soon the sun was gone and everything was dark. They were curling up near their fires to sleep. My men stood ready, waiting, waiting, waiting. I opened my eyes and let my hands fall down to my side. It is time to begin. I dropped to the ground and slit the throat of the guard standing there.

I clicked on my radio. "I'm beginning." I shut it off then, they will be ready for when I say to move.

I felt like a jungle cat stalking her prey as I moved in on the camp of sleeping soldiers. Is it really their fault they are here tonight? No. But they are here either way. They are threatening my home. My children. And they will all die. I thrust my palm out towards the right side of the camp, closing my fist. The ground under the sleeping men crumbled and swallowed them. Most screamed with terror and pain. As I turned to the other side of the camp, they were just rousing, shouting as they tried to figure out what was happening. I thrust my palm out and clenched my hand together. Their screams echoed the others.

"Right and left unit, move." I said into my radio. There was a responding click from Naruto, and a double click from Gaara. A wave of fire came from my hand and shot out towards the right, blocking the escape routs for those who survived the ground attack. This will also hide Naruto's approach. I did the same to the left.

Men from the middle ran at me, using everything they had. A wall of wind gushed out from me, blocking all of their jutsu's and weapons. I smiled wickedly. I tossed out another gust of wind, blowing the front men off their feet and back into the ones behind them. I walked towards them, knowing I looked vicious. My hair whipped in the wind, flying everywhere. I can feel the fear coming off of them. I can see it in their eyes.

I grabbed a squirming man on the ground and snapped his head around backwards, dropping his limp body back to the ground. The fear I could feel doubled. Let them know I will give them no mercy. Let them know I have come to kill. Let them know they will never see their loved ones again.

One of the men tripped and tried backing away from me on his hands and knees, but his fear slowed him down. I stopped in front of him, looking down at him. Tears leaked from his eyes. I can feel his thoughts. His daughter and wife with child. How he was tricked into doing this. Blackmailed. He didn't want to kill anyone. He just wanted to go home.

I felt my hair lay flat across my shoulders, all of my powers stopping for the moment.

His little girl, only three years old. I can see his memory of her first steps, the first time she got on a horse. How she would run to meet her daddy when ever he came home. How much she loves her daddy. His wife. The feel of his child kicking her womb. The warmth of laying next to his wife at night. Never being able to feel that again. Never being able to see his daughter again. Never knowing his other child.

An arrow shot into my left shoulder, knocking me back a few steps. I kept my eyes on the man staring back at me. Another arrow dug into my leg, making it hard to stand. I can hear yelling in my ear. I can feel the pain. But all I can see are the mans hazel eyes. So much like his daughters. I grabbed the arrow and yanked it hard out of my leg, ignoring the spurting blood. I walked over to him, bending down and placing my hand on the side of his face.

"KIRA!" Gaara yelled into the radio. "What are you doing?" The band on my arm felt hot.

I rubbed a thumb over his nose, seeing his daughter in my mind. Another arrow shot into me. I ignored it. "Go home," I whispered to him. "Go home and don't ever come back. Go, now. I will cover you."

He nodded and ran off. Every time something flew at him wind blew it all away. My men quickly saw he was protected and jump in to bat away the people who wanted to kill him for taking off. I dropped to my knees when he was out of sight. Gaara and Naruto were yelling at me. Five men ran at me to attack, but a huge gust of sand blew them all away when they got within three feet of my body. I looked up and looked over the battlefield.

Both teams have been here for awhile it looks like. So much death. So many bodies. So much fear. So much pain. I shivered and looked at the arrows sticking out of my body. I can't feel them, but I know they hurt. The medic team will be here soon. They will be able to save the others. I pulled out the arrows and healed my wounds.

I am still needed. I cannot die yet.

I stood and looked around. Our men have the upper hand. I can see the back end of the enemy camp starting to make a battle plan to destroy us. They will fail. I ran and jumped into the fight, slicing at people with my razor fingers, made this way by wind. I cut and killed with fast strokes and small movements. A trail of death was left behind me.

There was a rapid clicking over the radio. "We need help!" Sakura's voice. "They came around- INO!"

In one fluid motion I spun around and was sprinting back the way I came. This isn't good. How did they get behind me? I saw everything with a mile radius, no one could have escaped me. Unless... Shit! Those bastards knew I was there. They skirted as far out as they thought and passed my view point. I ran as hard as my legs would carry me. The band burned my skin, I ignored it. Gaara will not cause my concentration loss.

I flew threw the trees towards them. My vision flew past my body, searching. I found them. They are in big trouble. Did the enemy know we would have the medics come in last? That is smart of them. Bastards. I grabbed onto a branch and flung myself into a tree, my hands slapped together and the ground in front of me ate the people standing there. I flipped down from the tree to Sakura's side and kicked away a man that was left standing.

"Are you okay?" I asked, helping her to her feet. Her forehead is bleeding. I pressed my hand to it and healed her concussion as well. She nodded. I looked around at everyone else. So many are already dead. I lashed out at anyone I didn't recognize. Bodies dropped all around me.

But that one man stuck in my head. Many of my attacks were not deadly. Many would walk away from this if they wanted to. I grabbed Ino by the back of her shirt and lifted her off the ground. "Get up!" I growled at her. Her chest is covered in blood. I healed her wound as best as I could and pushed her back into the fight. I clicked my radio on. "We need backup," I said. "This is to much for me to handle."

Another click, then Shikamaru's and Kiba's voices filled my head. "Be there in a moment."

I sliced my hand into the gut of another man. I can't believe I let them get around me. This could ruin our chances of winning. I sliced open someone else. "Hurry!" I said over the radio.

I could hear everyone discussing their positions and how they are fairing. Naruto and Gaara have the upper hand on their end of the battlefield. But I fear that will not last long. From what my rain eyes are saying, they have more on the way. I warned them. I can feel the pressure of the battle getting to everyone. I gutted another man.

I clicked my radio. "We need to end this," I said. "Soon."

Naruto's voice replied. "How? We are outnumbered. There is no way we can do this. I say we back off and regroup. We need to think this out."

Others agreed with him. "No!" I barked. The line fell silent. I quickly ended another mans life before continuing. "If we back down now, we lose. Plain and simple. We keep going. Push harder!" I spun on my toe and lashed my other leg out, snapping someones neck. I bent now to the ground and Sakura flipped over my back, taking out a man coming up in my blind spot.

She agreed with me. "If we back down now," she said over the radio. I found it slightly disorientating to hear her talking next to me as well as on the radio. "they will follow us. We will get no rest. Kira is right."

There was a loud sound of confusion starting. I quickly looked around. Our men are just... gone! Sakura and I frantically spun around, yelling out names. But then sand started covering us, and I knew what had happened. I felt Gaara's presence as the sand covered my whole body, transporting me to a different, safer place. At his side. I punched him in the arm, not hard enough to cause damage, but enough to let him be sore for awhile.

"I told you we cannot run!"

He caught the next fist that came at him. "Calm down, Kira. We have figured something out that was not told to you. Listen." He reached for the radio box on my neck and changed the frequency station. Tsunade's voice filled my head.

"Kira, shut up and listen." Definitely Tsunade-sama. "Most of those men are clones. Hell, more than eighty percent of the ones you have killed already were nothing but clones." I looked over at the others. They cannot hear this. A privet station for the Kages? "You remember the Akatsuki, right?" I nodded, even though she cannot see me. They are the ones who killed all of my friends. They made my life hell. "A member of the Akatsuki is creating all of these clones. And they do not die. Think of clay. That is what they are like. Clay can be molded and shaped, then smashed, then shaped again. Do you get what I just said?"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

She scoffed. "Well, good. Because I have no clue what that means. You can thank Jiraiya for that one." I tried to keep the smile off my face. The others will wonder even more what is being said. "We trust in you to find a way to destroy all of the clones so they cannot be made again. Get to work." There was a click, and I knew she was done talking.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Of course, Tsunade-sama." I turned my head to the left and closed my eyes, feeling through the ground towards the enemy. They are a safe distance away. And they seem to be trying to regroup. I opened my eyes back up and looked at everyone around me. "We can take a quick break. Heal any injuries. The fight will continue in the morning." There was a loud sigh of relief and everyone sank down to the ground.

Is everything that stressful for them?

I guess since I have been here there has been so much stress upon my shoulders that this war seems like nothing to me. But I can see the effect it is taking on the others. Sakura... Kakashi told me she is pregnant. I will do everything in my power to protect her and her unborn child. I walked over to where she sat, and put my hand on her shoulder. I did a quick survey of her condition and her child's condition.

She looked up at me with a smile. "We are fine, Kira."

I smiled back and nodded, walking away from her. She had been healing a slight injury she received to her abdomen. But the child is fine, and so I will leave her alone. I climbed up a fallen tree and sat facing away from everyone. I have some thinking to do.

Clay. How do you destroy clay? Water. If there is to much water the clay will become to watery to hold any kind of form. But the rain didn't touch the clay men. There has to be something else. You have to have some water to keep it multipliable. Without water it would be dry and stiff and break easily. Maybe I can take all of the water out of them? No, I don't think I can do that. Taking water from plants and the ground is much different from taking it out of a living creature. What about firing it? When I used the fire to keep them from moving where I didn't want them, and also to hide Naruto's and Gaara's advancement, they had backed away.

Is that it?

I can try my fire idea, but I cannot be certain it will work. What can I do if it doesn't work? How else can you dry out clay and turn it to dust? Well, I can't think of anything. Maybe I can simply blow them away? With the wind I can make the gusts so strong that it will slice them apart. But they will just reform, like Tsunade-sama has said they have been doing. I could try to remodel them with an earth technique... but that may not work. What could I turn them into, even if it did work? Would they still be able to control their own bodies?

There are still way to many questions to that idea to be able to think much more about it. What can I do that will work? I sighed and scratched the back of my neck. This is too hard. But there is a way to destroy everything. You just have to find what works. I bit my lip. I could try everything I've just thought of, but I don't know how much energy it will take from me, so I don't know if it will have a desirable amount of success. I looked over everyone who is resting. They need me to do this. They need me to finish this so they can live their lives and go home to their families.

A flash of red had me out of my thoughts and on alert. It was probably just Gaara, but he normally wouldn't take care not to disturb my thoughts. I looked for the color again, but couldn't find it. I glanced over my shoulder at the group, and saw him talking with Naruto, his back to me. The flash of color couldn't have been him. I silently dropped to the ground, staying in a crouch. Did they follow us? I reached out with my mind, seeing if I could find out who it is and where they are located before I have to get the others involved.

Another flash of red to my left, and who ever, what ever, it is is coming at me with a speed I have never seen. I had just enough time to throw my hands up and yell Gaara's name before it crashed into me, sending me rolling across the ground with the force. A very wet tongue was then plastered to my face over and over again. I opened my eyes and shoved Youji away from me. Everyone was standing around, laughing.

"Youji!" I grabbed her and hugged her tightly. "Oh, I missed you so much!" She squirmed and squirmed until she could lick my face once more. I laughed. "Where did you come from?"

"Kakashi!" Sakura yelled. I looked up to see her tackling him. I hadn't noticed he was not with the group before. Did he bring Youji to me?

– –

Later that night I lay next to Gaara and Youji in our tent. My mind is still on the clay clones. So many possibilities, but no guaranty. I closed my eyes with a sigh and lightly ran my hand down Gaara's arm that is resting over my hip. He protected me earlier with the arm band. Is that why he gave it to me? I sighed again and opened my eyes back up. One of Youji's eyes were open, staring at me. I smiled and scratched behind her ear until she fell asleep again.

She is a good distraction. I've missed her without really knowing it. I can't believe I actually forgot about her. What would Renji think, me forgetting his daughter? I don't think he would be happy about it, I know that. I ran my hand down her back. Definitely a good distraction.

The mention of distraction had my mind thinking about Anne again. She said something about her being a distraction. A distraction for what? I thought about the blood. What was going on with her? Was she in pain? Why am I even thinking this? I may be human, but I should be able to hold a grudge longer than this. Anne stole my baby. She hurt my baby. And for what? To die without giving me an explanation? That's what I had wanted. It is why I didn't kill her right off. Then she had to die before I got it. And confuse me with what she did say.

A distraction... of what? I wish I knew. I wish I all of the answers that I need. I wish I could know what would happen before it happened. I wish I was more than human. I wish I could save this world, save the people in it. But I can't. What I can do is make sure I die for the good of the people, so that others will know someone cared enough to try to protect them.

Youji's eyes snapped open and her ears pricked up. After a moment of just staring at me she stirred, sitting up and looking at the tent flap. I gently touched her back, letting her know I am listening, too. I felt along the ground with my power and searched the camp and the surrounding area. There is nothing there that shouldn't be. What is it that she hears? I listened carefully and then I heard it. Crying. Who's crying?

I carefully slipped out from under Gaara's arm, being extra careful not to wake him, and quietly left the tent. I looked around, but did not find the crying person. I felt with my power, and only found one person awake, sitting on the edge of camp. I walked over and was surprised to see Sakura sitting on a log with her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking with her quiet sobs. I thought about getting Kakashi, but if she wanted him to know she was crying, she wouldn't be out here alone.

I put my hand on her shoulder and sat next to her. She tried to wipe the evidence from her face, but it was to late, she knew. I had seen. "Sorry I woke you," she whispered. Youji crawled up in her lap and turned so her belly was up. Sakura sniffled and scratched Youji's stomach.

I rubbed her shoulder. "Why are you crying?" I whispered back.

She shrugged. Then she shook her head. She stared at Youji. I can feel the dampness coming back to her eyes. I hugged her. "I'm so afraid," she whispered to me. "I'm afraid Kakashi will die. I'm afraid I will lose my baby. I'm afraid of dying, Kira."

I hugged her even tighter. To hear Sakura, the strongest woman I know, admit to being afraid, it makes me want to start crying, too. "Everything will be okay, Sakura. Everything will be okay."

Her head shook against my shoulder. "How do you know? How can you know for sure?"

I let her go and looked into her eyes. "Because I will make sure it is." I tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "I promise you, Sakura. Everything will be okay."

She started crying again and I pulled her into another hug.

* * *

**What do you think? Let me know!**


	34. Desperation

**Merry Christmas everybody! Thought I would let you all have a special treat :)**

* * *

Chapter 33, Desperation.

We were attacked while we all slept. It had been only an hour or so after Sakura and I went back to bed that they attacked our camp. I do not know how they have been hiding themselves from me, but I sure don't like it. Thankfully Akamaru and Youji smelt them just in time for us to defend ourselves. Without the two of them we would all be dead. I would have died without making it safe for my children, and I would have failed in my promise to Sakura.

We fought back viciously, using everything we had.

Gaara and I fought back to back, lashing out with sand, wind, fire, and even a few chunks of earth. I felt my energy sapping, but I kept it up. I blocked a blow that would have hit Gaara, and we switched spots. Ino screamed somewhere to my right, but there are so many. I can't see her. I yelled her name, there was no answer.

Everything is ruined. Everything is falling apart. I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks as I fought desperately. I've never had this desperate feeling in my chest before. It's like panic. It spreads worse than fire. My offense became choppy and my defense started to crumble. I felt myself weakening. I smothered a guy with his arm, snapping his neck quickly. Naruto was a yellow flash, but even he seemed sluggish. What was Anne referring to? What distraction!

I screamed out in frustration and kicked someone hard in the face, smashing their skull into bits.

The blood on me is hot, but the air is cold. I can see my breath. I spun and lashed out with my heel, catching someone in the chest. They went flying. "Gaara!" I gasped, tackling him to the ground just before someone dug a kunai into his back. I flipped up and let him take care of the startled man. I can see Sakura out of the corner of my eye, she is fighting just as desperately.

We need someone to take command. If we keep it up like this, we will all die. I am sure of it. Gaara and I bumped into each other again. He linked arms with me and swung me around. I lashed out with my feet and pushed the group of attackers off of us. My heart is beating so hard it hurts my chest. I leaned back against him briefly, taking a moment of rest. Then I was back in the fighting. Everyone needs someone to tell them what to do. These people grew up being guided by someone, they need guidance in situations like this. They've always had team leaders to lay out a plan.

"Gaara," I breathed. "Do your job." I jabbed someone with a kunai and kicked him away. "Lead them!" I grunted when a kunai slice my cheek. Blood gushed out. I ripped that person apart with the wind.

_Mom?_ Jessica's voice filled my head.

I gave a frustrated yell and punched someone in the face. _Not a good time right now, Jess!_ It was hard for me to keep my concentration long enough to say something back. My exhaustion is taking a toll on my abilities.

_Somethings wrong, Mom, _Jessica said to me. _Can you feel it? _

A cylinder of fire came out of my palm and cooked the group it was pointed at. I went through and knocked them all over, shattering them. Time to test my theory. _Feel what? _I used the fire to bake another group and knocked them all down. Gaara was starting to shout orders to the others. I think he finally realized what I was saying to him.

I felt Jessica's frustration. _I don't know. Just listen!_

I slit a mans throat. _I don't have time to listen, Jessica! I'm in the middle of a war!_ Someone ran at me and tackled me to the ground. The air was pushed out of my lungs and I could barely kick them off. They started to punch me, over and over and over again. Jessica was screaming in my head. My arms moved on their own. My hand wrapped around the mans throat and squeezed with a pressure I didn't know I could force. That is when I saw the sand trickle back down my arm to the band. A different band had formed on my other arm, this one silver.

_Daddy and I will always protect you, Momma,_ Yukio's voice whispered in my head.

My face started to heal slightly. _Lay still, Mom, while I heal you. Listen to what the earth is saying._

I laid like I was, my eyes closed with the dead man laying across my body. Gaara knows I am alive, but no one else does. I can hear Naruto's anguished screams. I took as deep of a breath as I could. Relax, I told my self. Listen. Feel. _Feel_.

And then I felt it. I felt it just as well as if the disruption had been something on my own body. And that is what it is, a disruption with something. But what? Jessica's healing stopped, and the slight burning of the silver and golden band stopped. I opened my eyes. What the hell is going on?

_ Stay safe_, they whispered to me.

_I will try_. I pushed the man off of me and stood on shaky legs. I'm sick of this war already. I'm tired, dirty, and I want to lay down with my babies. I looked for Gaara and found him towards the center of the fighting. I thrust out my palm and sent the fire towards him. I quickly used my fingers to separate the fire cylinder and made it attack only the enemy. Watching the fire separate and snake around my friends was kind of beautiful. It was like a flower opening up its petals being careful only to wipe away the bad bugs and keep the beautiful ones. Gaara glanced towards me, then he was back to what he was doing.

We need to end this, quickly. Now that I have something else to live for, I cannot die. I will not die. Power serged through me and I felt like I could do anything. The twins whispered to me that I could do anything I wanted to. I smirked and blew apart three peoples bodies, with just looking at them. Ripping apart atoms within someones body does that. Cool. Suddenly every one of the enemies bodies blew apart, then I used the fire to make them breakable. I instructed everyone to smash the pieces.

I fell to my knees, now completely drained. Kiba ran over and put my arm over his shoulders and lifted me back up. He is covered in blood. "Careful, Kira." Akamaru came up to me, his white fur pink and red. He yipped and licked my face. Youji hissed at him.

"Youji, be nice." I said. She looked like she was pouting and ran over to Gaara, leaping up on his shoulders. I met his eyes. "We did it," I breathed. "We won."

Everyone was deathly silent as they waited for Gaara to confirm what I said. He nodded slowly. "For now, we have won." Smiles appeared and hugs happened. "Let's get our dead and head home," he continued. "It is no time for parties right now."

Kiba helped me sit on Akamaru's back so he could carry me. I was thankful to notice very little of the blood on his fur was his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed my eyes. _We are alright,_ I whispered to my children. _Everything will be okay._

I opened my eyes only slightly when I felt fingers on my face. Gaara tried to wipe some blood from my skin with his thumb, but nothing really came off. I kissed his hand. I don't know what that disturbance was, but I will find out. For you, Gaara. For our children. For everyone else. I will find out. And I will fix it.

My shoulder's have never felt so heavy.

– –

When my eyes opened again I had three children curled up with my on a bed with sheets whiter than any pearls in the ocean. A sense of peace so great filled my heart and leaked to the rest of my body, pushing me back down into a grateful slumber that rested my whole body. I no longer have to worry. All of my children are under my arms, they are safe, and they are with me. I can see them. I can touch them. They are here with me now.

Everything is like it should be.

When I woke once more my children were still next to me, but talking quietly with others in the room. I opened my eyes and pushed myself up into a sitting position. I recognized the room immediately. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "Why am I in the hospital? I've spent far to much time in this place already."

Temari sat down next to me. "And you will spend a lot more time in here, too, if you don't stop trying to kill yourself." She gave me a hug. I held her tightly. "I'm so glad you are alright," she whispered.

I wiped my eyes, and slightly bumped my nose. Pain seared though my entire face. Temari laughed at me. "Why does my nose hurt so bad!" Tears welled up in my eyes from the pain.

Jessica put her hand in mine. "Because its broken, Momma. Tsunade said you deserved some pain after what you put everyone through. I think she is just grumpy that you saved the day without her." I smiled and ran my fingers through my daughter's hair.

We haven't won this yet, I whispered in my own head. We won the biggest battle. But we haven't won the war yet.

I let out a shaky breath and glanced around at the room. Great. They stuck me in my very first room when I came back. Except this time I am not alone. Everyone knows who I am, and they love me. They are counting on me to finish this. The door opened and a throat was cleared. Gaara and Tsunade stood there, both with their arms crossed. Tsunade jabbed her thumb over her shoulder. "Out."

I thought I was going to be left alone again, but the two Kages entered and shut the door behind them. But Gaara did not come over and sit next to me on the bed. He went to the one small window and stared out it. Tsunade leaned against the door. "I see you found a way to stop the clones," she said.

Silence. Am I supposed to respond to that? "Yes," I said. "I found I could fire them to a point where they were brittle and could be broken."

"And what happens when it rains?"

I shrugged. "They come back to life, I suppose."

Her brow furrowed and her arms were once more crossed over her chest. "You were supposed to find a way to destroy them permanently."

This time it was my turn to scowl at her. "I'm sorry if my situation was desperate and I needed to find something that worked at the time. Shattering them worked for then. I didn't have much time to think for a different way. Like I said, I was desperate. People were dying. And what I did worked."

"And if they attack the village?"

"I have the time now to think of something that will destroy them completely."

"Right now? What if I tell you they are attacking the walls as I speak?"

"Then I will jump out that window and do exactly as I did before. Then I will have time to find a way. I can experiment during battle."

She sighed. "Kira..."

I scoffed at her. "You know what, Tsunade? I'm doing the best I can. I was _desperate_. I've never felt that way before. I did the best I could to save everyone's lives. And you know what, I did a pretty damn good job." I turned on Gaara. "How can you stand there and let her talk down to me like this? You were there. You felt the same as I did. You saw I was doing everything I could."

His weight shifted slightly. If I hadn't been staring him down I would have missed the slight movement. "It is not my place to speak right now."

I ground my teeth. "Well, since neither of you are satisfied with my bone shattering efforts, I will go work on it. I will find how to destroy the stupid clones so they can't ever be regenerated."

I through the blankets off my body and stood up, ready to march my way out of this hospital. I wasn't expecting the burning hot pain that raced up my legs and knocked away my breath. Gaara caught me as I was collapsing. I tried to push him away, my anger still there, but I couldn't. The pain soon wiped away every emotion I could feel. It felt like hours, but I knew it was only moments, later a numb feeling fell over my body. Tsunade stood over me, shaking her head.

"You need to stop being reckless," she said to me. "Your body needs time to heal."

I ground my teeth again. "I don't have time to heal. There is something I need to do."

I felt Gaara's eyes on me, but I ignored him. "What is it that you need to do?" He asked, probably irritated that I wont look at him.

I swallowed hard. My whole body now feels sluggish. "I need... to find what's wrong." I tried to clear my throat, but I couldn't. Tsunade's hand were still over me, glowing healing green. "I need to protect you..."

Gaara leaned over me and brushed hair from my face. "What are you talking about, Kira?" he whispered. "What do you need to protect me from?"

Tears welled up in my eyes again. "I don't know," I whispered. "I don't know."

– –

When I was finally discharged from the hospital, Temari wanted to go get something to eat with me. Like old times. We went to this little tea place that has good noodles. For some reason I'm craving noodles.

We sat down and chatted about anything that came to the top of our heads, though we both avoided anything that could bring pain. We laughed a lot. Temari ordered tea and asked if I wanted some, I just laughed. I told her I will never try that stuff again. She laughed, too, remembering when she first had me try it. We talked about a few things having to do with fashion. She is a little surprised how much into fashion I am now. I told her things change. I told her when you live the life I do, in my world, you have to be into fashion.

We sat in the little restaurant for a couple hours.

When we finally decided to head home it had started raining outside. I stared out at the rain, seeing Matsuri's face as I killed her. I shivered. I felt the feeling in my arm that came with digging my sword into her chest. My stomach churned. I'm not sure if I can do this. I looked at Temari. I've missed her so much. She was my best friend before, and now I barely talk to her.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I asked.

She gave me a funny look. "It's raining."

I smiled and stepped out into the rain. "I know. You're not going to melt." I laughed and skipped ahead. The drops of water sank into my skin, healing any injuries I had left. I feel so alive right now.

Temari and I walked down by the training ground. I looked down at it with a small smile. "What's wrong?" she asked in a hushed voice.

I looked over at her, a little startled. "Just memories. Sorry, I didn't mean to drift off."

Her smile was a happy one. "Don't worry about it. What were you remembering?"

I linked my arm with hers as we continued our walk. "I was just thinking about Naruto and Sakura and Jiraiya. When I first came back the three of them had me down there to test my strength. I still remember the look on their faces when they saw how strong I was." I laughed a little.

"I bet you really surprised them." Her voice had an edge to it.

I sighed and stopped walking, wrapping my arms around her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was back, Temari. But I need you to understand why I did what I did."

Her arms hugged me back. "I do understand, Kira. But I'm still hurt."

"I'm so sorry, Temari. You're my big sister. I should have told you. You would have kept my secret."

She started laughing. "No, its better you didn't tell me. If I knew you were back, I would have started to act funny around Gaara, and then he would have ripped it out of me." She linked arms with me again and we began walking again.

The rain feels good going down my neck. Everything has been so stressful lately. I finally feel like I can let the rain wash away most of my worries. I took a deep breath and sighed, tilting my face up to the rain. I quickly did a scan of everyone I care about. My children are sitting on the couch talking with their uncle. Sakura and Kakashi are at the hospital talking to Tsunade, Sakura keeps touching her stomach. Gaara is just getting into the shower. And Temari is with me.

I swallowed. A feeling of unease swept over me.

I looked around. What is creating this feeling? I tried to push it off, but I couldn't. Temari and I walked in silence. We were about to leave the training area when a figure caught my attention. I brushed my mind over theirs to see if I knew them.

_Grandpa_, I whispered in his head.

I saw his chin dip down. _We need to talk._

I stopped walking and turned to Temari. "Temari, I am so sorry... but I need to go."

Her face fell slightly, but she nodded. "Okay. Just be careful. Let us know if you need anything." Then her back was to me and she was walking off. Did she see him?

I ran down the field to him. He is soaking wet. "Grandpa, what's going on?"

He shook his head. "We can't talk here. I need you to come with me, Kira." He held out his hand to me, but I took a step back. "Kira, please. Come with me."

The unease in my stomach can no longer be ignored. "Why? Where? I need to tell Gaara so he wont worry."

"No!" Grandpa bit his tongue hard. "You can't tell anyone where we are going, Kira. Please, just take my hand. I don't have much time."

I took another step back and scoffed at him. "Grandpa, you can't expect me to just drop everything and go with you. I have my children to think about."

His eyes darted to the left. I was about to say something else, but his hand was quickly put over my mouth and he roughly pushed me behind a tree. _Don't say anything. We are in trouble._

Fear blossomed in my chest. _What's going on?_ I thought about contacting Gaara, but I didn't. He doesn't need to be brought down should something happen here.

_I've been followed. I thought it was safe. Kira, take my hand. We need to leave right now._ His brown eyes looked deep into mine. _I need you to trust in me._

The tree behind me splintered as it fell. I screamed and covered my head, but I was smacked to the ground by Grandpa. I heard a grunt and felt the hot spray of blood. This can't be happening. Who is attacking us! _Gaara! _I screamed out with my mind. I don't know if he heard me, but I am praying he did.

"Kira, run!" I heard Grandpa yell.

I scrambled to my feet and took off. I can't do this. I don't have any strength to use my powers. I can't do this. I can't die. Please, oh please don't let me die! I ran with all of my might, but something tackled me to the ground. We rolled across the grass, shoving at each other. I screamed again, trying to head-but the person holding me down, but he punched me in the face before I could. I through my hips up, throwing the person over my head. I jumped up, ready to run again, but his hand wrapped around the ankle and sent me back down to the ground. I lashed out with my feet.

Sand tore the man apart.

"Kira!" Temari grabbed me up off the ground and hugged me tightly. "What the hell is going on?"

I tried to slow my breathing, but I couldn't. Gaara has never looked so alarmed. _Granpa!_ I yelled out with my mind. I pushed Temari off of me and started running back where I left him. They followed. "Grandpa!" I called out. "Grandpa!" Something flew at me, but sand blocked it.

Gaara was suddenly at my side. "What are they?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I don't know! Grandpa!" Sand blocked another attack from the strange animals. There is blood everywhere. He's not answering me.

"Kira, look at me." Gaara grabbed my face. His thumbs moved in small circles on my cheeks. "I need you to contact Tsunade and Naruto. Tell them we have an emergency. Tell them to get everyone indoors." He turned my face back towards him when I looked away. "Kira, everyone could die. Please, do this. They need you."

I took a shaky breath. I nodded. I have to. Grandpa will have to wait. There are others that need me. _Everyone get inside. Lock the doors. There is danger in Kohona. This is Kira. Please, get inside. Tsunade-sama and Naruto, meet us at the training field. Everyone get inside. Lock your doors and windows. Don't open them for anything._

When I opened my eyes again Gaara was looking at me strangely. "How did you do that?" He asked.

I shrugged. "When there is a need, there is a way." I fell against him a little. "But I don't think I can do it again." I fisted my hands in his leather vest. His sent filled my head and made butterflies flutter in my stomach. Another animal attacked, only to be ripped to shreds by sand. "We have to find him, Gaara," I whispered. "We have to find Grandpa."

"Gaara! Kira!"

I turned my head to see Naruto running towards us. Kakashi, Lee, and Kiba and Akamaru are behind him. "Is everyone safe?" Gaara asked.

Kakashi nodded. "The rest of us are getting everyone safely inside. What are they?" He looked at the ripped apart carcuss next to us.

"We don't know," Gaara answered.

I let go of him and stood on my own, taking another deep breath. "My Grandpa is out there. Please, help me find him. He saved my life. Now I have to save him." Gaara slipped his hand in mine.

"But be careful," he added. "We don't know anything about these animals."

We broke off into two's. Gaara and I searched the area where I lost saw Grandpa. There was blood everywhere. But there was also a lot of those dead animals. My Grandpa isn't weak. He knows how to protect himself. I asked Gaara to kill one without ripping it apart. When he did, the body just disintegrated by itself. The next plan was to capture one alive to get a closer look at it, but it ate itself, and once it died, it disintegrated. I kicked one hard and felt the cracking bone under my foot before it's body was gone.

"Grandpa!" I called out. Still no answer. "Gaara, what if he's dead? What am I going to do?" Tears ran down my face.

Gaara's hand ran down my back. "Everything will be okay," he said to me softly.

I nodded, sniffling. First I lose Anne the way I did, saying she is a distraction, and now Grandpa is gone and there are these weird animals attacking. Distraction. Is that what she was a distraction for? Did they let these animals loose to kill us all? I watched another animal closely as it fought with the sand, trying to get to us. There is something familiar about the animal. The way it is shaped. The way it moves.

"Gaara," I whispered, "keep it alive as long as possible."

I studied the animal, moving around with the sand protecting me. That's it! I've seen this animal before. Back home. It is an animal from my time. Obviously it is different, its been altered in some way. It's a Monkey. An Orangutan. The huge orange ape found in Asia. But it is stronger, faster. On my trip to China, after I returned to my world, I had the chance to see one. I held his hand as we walked. He was beautiful. Gentle. This animal is viscous, mean. Ugly. The animals teeth are large and sharp, his hands powerful and deadly.

"I can't believe it," I whispered. How can they be here? I felt myself begin to panic again. How did they get here? Who altered them? I spun to face Gaara. "Kill them," I said to him. I don't know if they are endangered or not, but like this they will make us humans endangered. "Kill them all. Now!"

And he obeyed. All of the apes were gone in seconds after the sand hit them. "What do you know?" he asked.

I ran over to him and grabbed his hand, dragging him away. I sent out a thought to everyone: _Meet up, now! Village gates. Kill any animal you see._

Gaara and I fought our way towards the gates, killing any of the apes we saw. I need to figure something out. What the hell is going on? Grandpa will have to wait for now. Tsunade was already there when we arrived. I briefed her and Gaara about what I knew about the animals, and how I know it. Tsunade couldn't fathom how they got here. Could there be someone out there who could have ripped the layer between our worlds? Dread washed over my body. If that has happened, everyone from my world will die. They don't know anything on how to protect themselves against anyone or anything from this world. They will all die.

"Kira!" Naruto and the others ran up to us. "What's going on? What are those things?"

I glanced back and forth between Gaara and Tsunade. "They are animals from my world, Naruto. But they've been altered. They aren't vicious animals. I don't know that happened to them."

"Your world?" Kiba asked. His arms crossed over his chest. "I don't remember seeing any animal like that."

I nodded. "Because they are from a different part of my world. Like your different countries, Wind and Fire, we have different countries, too. Those animals are a type of Ape, a really big monkey. They are from a few different countries that put together is called Asia. I visited China, one of the countries in Asia. I had the chance to meet these animals and they were always very gentle. I don't know what happened to them."

Kiba put his hand on Akamaru's head. "No matter what animal it is, if they are taken from those they love and thrown into an environment where they know nothing, they will turn defensive. They will be very dangerous."

I shook my head. "I know that. But they are different, physically different." I looked at Tsunade. "We need to find out what is going on. If the apes are able to be brought into this world, then what else can they do? Tsunade-sama, if they bring guns into this world, it will be the end of everything."

Kiba's frown grew. "Guns would be a terrible thing to have in this world. From my small experience with them, they are more deadly than an blood line limit." Akamaru whined. Kiba nodded to him. "And the people that use them are merciless. They kill for the hell of it."

I took a shaky breath. I wish I knew if Grandpa was okay. I have to deal with this situation first. He would want me to make sure everyone is safe. I need to figure this thing out and deal with it. Time to put on the big girls thinking cap and figure out a plan. I don't know a great deal about Orangutan's. It may be better to observe before I make any final decisions. I sighed and rubbed my forehead hard. I don't have time to sit around all day watching their behaviors. I'm Kira, I'm the strongest woman on this planet. I can figure this out. They are stupid monkeys! How hard can it be to kill them all?

"Okay," I said to them. "This is what we are going to do."

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**I hope everyone has a wonderful day with their families! And for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a wonderful day anyway! Hope you enjoyed!**


	35. Seeing

**Here it is everyone, chapter 34! Enjoy!**

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Chapter 34, Seeing.

I watched from the background as my plan was set in motion. There is something for everyone to do but me. I am here to dictate, to tell people what to do, when, and where to be. With each second that passes I feel myself become more antsy, I jump whenever lost in thought and someone says something to me. Gaara tried to get me to sit down for awhile, to take a breather, but I told him no. I am the master mind of this plan, I will be here to oversee its progress.

Every ninja within the walls of Konoha are in front of me, being told their parts they will play. Half of the population of the people have already been moved to the safe house built into the face of the Hokage mountain. There is a special group of ninja there to protect everyone, and another group that is scouring the city to grab anyone remaining. Fighting that battle dropped our numbers by a lot. We will have to make up for it by putting our all into it. We need to deal with this problem before they can regroup and attack again.

Gaara is right. We won that battle, but the war is far from over.

"Momma!"

"Jessica," I grabbed her hand and turned her right around. "You aren't supposed to be here."

She tried to pull out of my grasp, but I didn't let her. "Mom, let go! I need to talk to you about something!"

I stopped and turned towards her, making sure her back was to everything happening behind her. "What, Jessica? I'm kind of busy right now."

She just rolled her eyes. "You should know, _mother_, that didn't work for Daddy, and it wont work for you. Now," she grabbed my face with both hands and stared hard into my eyes. "Listen to me." I took a deep breath and put my hands over hers.

"I'm listening to you, Jessica," I whispered. "You have my full attention."

She didn't smile like I thought she would. She is to old for her age, though I guess what she has been through she has no choice but to grow up. "Remember during the fight when you felt the disturbance?" I nodded. "I've figured it out."

I glanced around to make sure no one was listening to us. Gaara caught my eye. I signaled for him to create a sound proof barrier around us. Sand covered us whole, trapping us in the dark. I let a flame dance on my palm so I could see my daughters face. "What are you talking about, Jessica? What have you figured out?" I whispered even though I knew no sound could make it to the other side of the sand wall. A giant eye formed next to us and watched us closely.

She let go of my face and clenched her hands. "I don't know... not exactly. I don't know how to describe it. But I can feel where there is a rip in our world." She rubbed her arm absentmindedly, her eyes looking far away. "It feels almost like a wound, but from the planet. Like when you are cut open and you feel the hole, but no pain? That's what it feels like. There is so much adrenalin, with the beasts and all, that the planet can't feel the pain yet."

I nodded. "But the pain will come."

Jessica looked at me with a worried face. "And when it does, who knows what will happen? We need to fix it before the pain hits. If we don't..." her voice trailed off.

I wiped my hand down my face. "If we don't, we are all in a lot of trouble." I gripped her shoulders tightly and made her look me right in the eye. "Jessica, you can't tell anyone else about this. No one else can know about this, okay? You didn't tell anyone, did you?"

She shook her head. "Not even Yukio."

I smoothed her hair from her face and kissed her forehead. "Good." I waved the sand away from us and nodded to myself. "Don't worry," I whispered to her. "I will figure something out. Go back to the safe place now, stay safe." She nodded and ran off. I wiped my hand down my face again.

Another ten tons was just thrown onto my shoulders.

I turned and surveyed those around me. Naruto has pretty much taken over most of the military happenings from Tsunade-sama. He is in line to be the next Hokage, and she is trusting him to do what is best for the people. She is trusting me to guide them all because I know the most about these creatures. Am I doing what is best for the people? Am I doing what is best for everyone I can see right now? I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath, shaking my hands out. I can't doubt myself. Not now. If I start to doubt myself, then why shouldn't others doubt me?

No doubting, I told myself. You are doing the best you can.

– –

By the time night rolled around, we had killed many of the changed Orangutan's. Right now, its kill or be killed. We have chosen to kill. We have chosen life, not death. Survival of the fittest. I taught a couple of the men the easiest and cleanest way to kill them, then they taught more people, who taught more people. By the time the sun was actually down, almost everyone knew what to do.

I stifled a yawn and turned my back to the camp fires with men all around. We decided to camp out tonight, since all of the electricity in the village has been cut off. Tsunade decided it was for the best. Save all of the power we can now, so we will have it when we are in desperate need. The only place with any electricity is the safe place under the Hokage mountains. And even then it is not much. Just one strip of lights that run though the whole place to keep everyone from going crazy down there. And that is it.

Gaara came up next to me and guided me towards a tent with his hand on the small of my back. "I just talked with Temari," he said to me. He held the flap back while I crawled inside. I curled up on the pile of blankets and cushions that were placed there for us to sleep on. He sat down next to me, leaning on one elbow. "The twins and Ryuu are safe underground with the others. They and the rest of their class are doing a great job keeping everyone calm and informing them what little information we allow them to know."

I smiled. "I'm glad they are doing good." I grabbed one of the smaller cushions and hugged it tightly to my chest, putting my head on the edge of it. I closed my eyes. I haven't given the tear between this world and mine much thought. I need to figure something out before I can talk to Gaara about it. When I opened my eyes again it was to see him staring at me. No, not a stare. A look. He just leaned on his elbow, looking at me. "What?" I asked, shifting slightly.

He blinked and his chest lifted with a semi-deep breath. He looked down at his hands. I looked, too. His hands are bigger than I remember from before. They are more powerful, more calloused, and in a way, more gentle. I think of all of the things I have done wrong. All of the pain I have caused this man. But still he loves me. He has never stopped loving me. Those hands have always been there to help me, to protect me from others, to protect me from myself.

The very first time I met him, I stabbed him in the side with a stick. Yet he did not stop trying to help me. He was patient, kind. He trusted me to go along with them and not give them much trouble. He trusted me to be with his friends, his family. He never once tried to keep me out of things because he thought I could hurt someone. And I know it is not because he thought I was weak. In fact, he thought the opposite. He helped me learn, he helped me train, along with his sister. I could always go to him when I had a problem.

I reached out and took one of his hands and pulled it to my face, pushing my nose into his palm. I closed my eyes and pressed his hand closer to my skin, rubbing my nose along his thumb. I have been so mean to him in the past. I've tried to keep his children from him, I've lied to him, I've mislead him over and over again. Shukaku saw past my lies. That night when I saw him for the first time when we were in the cabin recovering from the plague, he saw right through everything I have ever said to Gaara. His thumb trailed over my nose. Could it be Gaara saw through me the whole time, but went along with it all because he knew I had to figure things out myself?

"Kira," he whispered. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He shifted, moved closer and closer and closer. His body slid against mine and the weight of him comforted me. His other hand brushed back hair from my face.

I trailed one hand down his back. His broad shoulders, his thick muscles. Even though ten years has changed his physical appearance, I know he is still the same Gaara I fell in love with all those years ago. I know he is still the same man that believed in me no matter what. I ran my hand across the back of his neck, running my fingers through the bottom of his hair. His hair is still as soft as I remember. I started to sit up, forcing him to move. He sat directly next to me, a question in his eyes. But I just looked back. I didn't stare, I didn't try to give him a message with my eyes. I just looked.

I looked at the man I have loved all my life.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and crawled into his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist, too. I hugged him so tightly to me that I was sure we could never be separated. And when his arms came around me, to hold me in place, pulling me even tighter against him, I knew. I just knew.

I knew I would eventually lose him in the end.

But for now, for now he is mine. All mine.

My shoulders shook as I silently sobbed.

– –

I didn't sleep much that night, but when I did my dreams were filled of Grandpa. I saw him being mauled by the Orangutan's, ripped limb from limb. I saw them feeding on him. After that dream I woke up screaming, Gaara spent a long time trying to calm me down. I didn't sleep after that.

Before the sun started to make the earth light, I was up and moving. I was making my way towards the Hokage mountains, decked out with kunai and shuriken. But nothing tried to attack me, even though I was alone. Gaara will be upset when he wakes and finds me gone. I shrugged off the slight uneasy feeling. I should have been attacked at least once. There is no way we have killed all of the Orangutan's within the village walls. Plus, they can easily swing over the walls into the village.

A member of the Hyuuga family opened the secret door and allowed me entrance into the mountain. She smiled at me sweetly. "We are glad you have come, Kira-sama." I was a little shocked with the title she just gave me. Sama? I tried to keep the smile from showing how much hearing that pleases me. "Everyone is getting restless. Seeing you will calm them down."

We started to walk down the hall, the lights barely giving enough light to see. There is something in this girl that reminds me of Hinata. Could this be her little sister? "You are Hanabi, right? Hinata's little sister?" The same lock falls across her face as it did the last time I met her, over ten years ago.

She smiled sweetly to me. "Yes." She looks pleased that I remember her.

We came to a larger room, where many people are gathered. Very close together. I frowned. This is more like a prison than a safe place. Everyone is so packed together, it is almost crazy. Tsunade said this safe place was built way before she became the Hokage, before she was born even. Back then, she had told me, Konoha's population had been much smaller. She had assured me that everyone could fit. And they do, just I didn't think there would be so little room. And this is obviously not everyone. I wonder how far back other rooms are? When will they run out of air? I need to talk to Tsunade. They can't stay in here for weeks on end. I know I would go mad if I was made to stay in here in such close quarters.

Hanabi noticed my frown. "Come with me," she whispered. I followed her back into the hall, where she shut the door. "All of the rooms are like this one, and a couple are even more packed. We've tried our best to spread everyone out as much as we can, but..." her voice trailed off and she shrugged.

I glanced into the next room. She isn't exaggerating, either. This room looks more full than the last. "How much food and water is down here?" We kept moving down the hall, checking in on all of the rooms. Sweat prickled my brow. It's so hot down here. I noticed many had very thin shirts, or no shirts at all. Little children run around naked. Water will be a problem, I thought to myself, with this heat.

Hanabi waited for me to check the next room before she spoke. "We have enough food to last us weeks down here. But water is another story. There are large tanks towards the back of the compound, but with how hot it is in here, I doubt it will last half as long as the food." Just as I thought. "I pray it rains, for we will need it."

We came to the room where Tsunade was in, knelt by a few of the children, giving them small cups of water. I stood by the door, waiting for her to finish up. When she saw me, she said her fairwells, and followed us into the hall. I crossed my arms over my chest and frowned at the floor. "I think I might be able to make it rain, but I can't use up to much of my powers right now."

Tsunade shook her head and leaned against the wall. "We are fine for now. Jessica offered to do such about an hour ago."

I gave Hanabi a side glance. "Tsunade-sama, from what I have seen, they can't stay like this much longer. It's only been a little while, I know, but they are to tightly crammed. They need more space. I think we should secure a building or two, close to the ground, and let people rotate sleeping in the buildings. There would be more space, and they will all feel much better moving around instead of being cramped up like they are."

"Momma!" I turned just in time to see Jessica's hair fly behind her as she ran into a room. Then she was running towards me, dragging her brothers behind her. "I told you she would come see us!"

I hugged each of them and kissed their heads. I have to keep reminding myself they are old enough to take care of themselves. That they are safe here with Tsunade and the others. "What are you three up to?" I asked, trying to put on a brave face.

Yukio beamed at me. "We just were passing out the food and water, just like Hokage-sama told us to!"

I smiled and messed his hair. "Good job, guys!" Ryuu stood next to Jessica, just smiling faintly. His hand was in hers. I'm glad they have become close. It will help in the days and weeks to come. They can take care of each other. "What do you think about this place?" I asked them. They've had more interaction with everyone, and the people wouldn't try to hide anything from them like they would Tsunade to please her.

Yukio put his hand on his chin and stared thoughtfully at the floor. "I know of a few people who came in here coughing and one was throwing up. Well, the sickness is starting to spread, even though we have put all of the sicks people in a room together."

Ryuu frowned at his brother. "Do you think it could be spreading by using the same cup for water?"

I looked at him. "Yes, that could very well be it." I turned to Hanabi, then. "Hanabi, send someone out to the closest apartment buildings. Have them collect all of the cups they can find. Pots, too. Make sure each individual has their own cup. No more sharing. Not even for mother and child." She nodded and started walking off. I looked at the three children. "I'm giving you three this task. When they get back with the cups, make sure each is labeled with the persons name and room number. That way they can't get confused with anyone else."

All three stood up straight and nodded their heads, then turned to run off down the hall after Hanabi.

I collected my thoughts and turned meaningfully to Tsunade. But she held up her hand. "Let us go somewhere safe to talk about sensitive subjects," she said quietly. I felt myself relax a little, knowing I had a little more time to plan what I was going to say. She brought me to a small room, one that was small enough to fit two more people, and that was pushing it. "Alright, what do you need to discuss?"

I licked my lips. "Actually, I don't need to discuss anything. I need to tell you my plan." Her eyebrows shot up. She was about to say something, but she thought better about it and waved me on. She must have momentarily forgotten I am not a citizen of Konoha.

I told her about everything. Not only do I need to tell her, but I was hoping she may have some ideas or thoughts about it all that would help me in the long run. I've realized I cannot think of everything myself, but I know I cannot involve anyone else. By subtly asking for help, she can be involved, but not to involved. I think she realized this. I need to do this on my own. I am the only one who can fix this. I am the only one who has the power to do this.

This is on me.

I left Tsunade with a few thoughts tucked away to analyze later. This is not something I can just jump into. I will need to think carefully before I act on this. I stopped by the tent and grabbed a thick cloak. Today it will be cold. I walked around the view of everyone standing around, I don't want any questions asked of me. I need to think. And I need to be alone.

Unfortunately, I'm never so lucky.

Gaara caught sight of me and appeared in my path almost instantly. "Where are you going? Where were you?"

I took a step back so I could see his face. It's no use talking to his chest. "I had to run an errand. I'm safe, Gaara. There is no need for you to worry about me. I will be back in a couple days." I then tried to step around him, but he gently grabbed my arm.

"Kira..."

I sighed and turned to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my body against his. "There is something I need to do. I can't have you coming with me. You are needed here. I am putting my trust into you to lead these people. You are the Kazekage, Gaara. They need you."

His hand ran down my back, while his other one grabbed my hip. "They need you, too," he whispered. "Don't be careless."

I kissed his cheek and went on my way, throwing a wave over my shoulder.

I pulled the cloaks hood up over my head and wrapped it tightly around my shoulders, blocking out the chilly breeze. I walked through the woods towards where I last saw Grandpa. I found the splatters of blood that I remembered and followed them as far as I could. But the morning dew has erased most of the trail, and I gave up after about six hours of looking. I couldn't find the path I had been following. And now I am closer to where I should have started out. I huffed a sigh and walked towards the desert. Well, what was left of the desert. I ran through the night.

The small amounts of grass I had seen before is bigger, thicker. I stared sadly out on what used to be the desert that protected Suna. I still remember how Kakashi had dumped me off his back in this exact spot the first time they brought me here. I had annoyed him the whole way. I smiled sadly. I would give almost anything to go back and do it all over. There is so much I would change. I bent down and picked up a clump of dirt, rubbing it over both of my hands. The moisture in this dirt is at an amount that you should never, ever, find in a desert.

I gently pushed the cloak back over my shoulders and began my long run to the fallen gates of Suna. Thankfully, the sun is bright today. It feels good on the top of my head. I stopped about half way to take a drink of water and catch my breath. I looked sadly at the boulder next to me. This is the same boulder I sat at when I first found out I could manipulate the water. I remember how gentle and kind Hinata had been to me as she helped me figure it all out.

I pushed the memories from my head and continued on my way, running at an even pace. No matter how hard I tried to block my memories from taking over my thoughts, I couldn't help it. An image of me running next to Gaara while the wind pushed at my back, an image of him carrying me on his back. The image of me sparring with Tsunade just outsie the gates. I stopped running and leaned over, my hands on my knees. I breathed hard and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the memories. I need to focus.

The fallen gates were less than a mile away from me, but I cannot move any farther. I sat down and put my face in my hands, still trying to regain my breath. I peeked out between my fingers at the gates. The same gates that once held and protected such an amazing place that was so accepting. So wonderful. This is my home. This is where my children were raised. This is where they were born. This, this is where I fell in love with Gaara. I swallowed the surge of emotions I felt and stood back up, ignoring the shaking in my knees. It is much harder to see this place now that I am alone. When I came here with Naruto and Sakura, it was different. It wasn't real.

Now it is all much to real.

I walked past the gates and stopped, looking down the road at the half collapsed Kage tower. I looked to my left where there was still armor laying around, buildings crumbled over most of it. I looked to my right and saw the same thing. They tried to save Suna. But Gaara stopped them. He had them flee. He saved their lives, but lost their homes. I took a shaky breath and raised my chin, then continued on my way.

All around there is destruction. Rotten food that is squashed all over the ground. It looks like its been there for years, to the point where the smell isn't even there. I walked past the where the old shop was where Temari bought me my first outfit. I scoffed softly as I remembered the golden skirt and top. I must have looked ridiculous in that. I stopped in front of the steps and looked up into the ghost of Matsuri, standing there with her arms crossed as she accused me of poisoning Gaara's supper. I blinked and she was gone.

I glanced behind me and I saw Gaara pulling me behind him as he protected me from the drunk men from the bar. When I blinked, they, too, disappeared. I glanced up at the water tower and saw Hinata and I standing up there, talking about how I would train. I saw my happy smile, her happy smile. I looked away before my blink could make them disappear. I wrapped my arms around myself and continued on my way, seeing various people here and there, but them all disappearing with a blink of my eyes.

I finally made my way to the cemetery, the very one where they had buried me. I stared at the hundreds and hundreds of stones that held names and dates. I could see where mine still looks dug up, far off to the right. I made my way down the slight hill and walked among the rows and rows of stones, towards my own. I stared into the hole in the earth, where I could still see a bit of the coffin I had woken up in. That was a terrifying experience. I am so happy Jiraiya was there to pull me out. I walked over and ran my hand over my stone, traced my fingers over the name engraved, and the date. They didn't know the year of my birth, so they had just my born month and day and my death date and year.

I looked down into the hole and noticed something that couldn't have been mine. I jumped down and pulled out a dirty green scarf. I never wear scarfs and I highly doubt they put one around my neck when they put me in here. The material feels like polyester, too. I felt for a tag and finally found one. _Machine wash only_, it says. Something in my chest exploded.

Someone else from my world is here.

I stuffed the scarf into a pocket on my cloak and hurried to climb out of the hole. I searched for footprints, but the moist soil shows far to many. They could have been from when Jiraiya came to save me. They could have been Gaara's when he found out my grave had been dug up. I searched for some kind of sign as to where the person went. There is no way I could have simply dragged his scarf with me. I searched the area, but found nothing.

I knelt down and put my hands on the ground, digging my fingers into the moist earth. I spread out my power, looking, searching. A quick breath, the sound of a pain filled moan. I was up on my feet in a split second, raising towards the sound. This person is smart, they moved to the whole other side of the ruined village, far away from where they entered this world. I stopped to listen again, putting my hand against a crumbled building to pin point the area where I heard the sound.

I came to a half crumbled building on the outskirts of the village, the very last house before the wall. Okay, so maybe they aren't that smart. I ducked under the broken doorway and scanned the room. Someone has definitely been here for a week or two. They've cleared a corner of the room and have piled some old mats and clothing next to a window. The person is in this building.

I moved with little noise, just enough for them to know someone is here, but not enough to scare the wits out of them. I am curious to see who has made it into this world other than me. I walked over to the mats and felt them. Still warm. I closed my eyes and listened as carefully as I could. I opened my eyes again when I heard the frightened breathing of a child.

A child? I remembered the girls jumping rope where I had fallen. Did they rush over to see if we were okay and get sucked into this world? No, impossible. They would have been with me in the coffin if that had been the case. I put my hands out to the side and slowly stood up. The child is sitting on the other side of the room, curled up in a shadow behind one of the mats. They must have run over there when they heard me coming. Smart kid. I slowly turned around to face them, my face blank of emotion.

I was ready to say calming words when I saw the state the child was in. Blood covered a roughly bandaged arm, and a leg laid in an awkward position on the floor, not covered by the mat. Blood covered the child's face. And that is when I met the child's eyes.

"Oh God, no," I whispered, my knees buckling with my shock. Those copper waves, those brown eyes. I chocked on a sob. "Savannah?"

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	36. Loss

**I know it has been awhile, but I hope the length of this chapter makes up for it somewhat! I hope everyone enjoys!**

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Chapter 35, Loss.

I crawled to her and reached out, but she shoved the mat at me, then swung a metal bar, screaming as her injured arm moved. I grabbed the bar and tossed it across the room. "Savannah, it's me," I whispered, trying to reach for her.

"Don't touch me!" She screamed. Savannah lashed out again, tears in her eyes. "Don't touch me!"

I backed off. I sat across the room, staring at her. Maybe this isn't my baby sister. Maybe I have it all wrong. I reached into my pocket and rubbed my fingers over the scarf. No, I remember this scarf now. It is the same one Mom gave her for Christmas last year. She moved slightly, her breathe showing in the chilly air. I frowned. How long has she been here? How did she get those wounds?

Why is she afraid of me?

I rubbed my scarf over my cheek, thinking how she looked the day I left her. She was healthy, clean, and was not bleeding. She loved me. She wasn't afraid. I saw her clear brown eyes in my head, the shine of her curls reflecting the sunlight. My baby sister. How could I possibly have forgotten to think of her everyday? She is the one who believed me. I shook my head. This can't be my little sister. She is to old. Savannah was only about seventeen when I left. This girl sitting in front of me can't be any younger than nineteen. She isn't much of a kid.

"K-k-kira?" I opened my eyes and looked over at the woman on the other side of the room. She moved the mat away from her body and was leaning towards me, squinting. "Kira?" she whispered again, "Kira, is that you?"

I crawled towards her slowly, giving her every chance to hide again. "Savannah?" It can't be. This can't be my little sister. But as I looked into her eyes once more I knew. I knew this is my little sister. I frowned. The time between our worlds is almost the same. This is not good. I grabbed her and pulled her into my arms, hugging her tightly to my chest. "Everything is okay," I whispered to her. "You are safe now."

As I held my sister I sent my thoughts out. My thoughts rushed under the ground towards Konoha. I quickly found Gaara and brushed my mind against his, gently bringing his attention away from the group he was with. In seconds I had his full attention. _I am safe,_ I whispered to him, _do not worry_. I ran my fingers through Savannah's hair. _But I need help. Grab Sakura and meet me at the edge of the desert at dawn._ I felt his thoughts already running through a thousand different reasons why I would need him and Sakura. But he didn't argue. I felt him move to find her the second my voice left his head.

I gently moved Savannah away from me and studied her wounds briefly. "What happened to you?"

She sniffled and wiped her nose on the back of her hand. "I was attacked by the Orangutan's that came out of the hole." She nodded towards the door. "They haven't been able to get in here, so I've been safe."

I frowned. "The hole? They came when you did?"

She frowned, too, and shook her head. "N-no. I got here and was looking around for you when they came. I heard this awful screaming sound and ran over to see what it was. I saw them coming through. Some of them were ripped apart, only half of them making it. The others ate them without a single thought." Tears filled her eyes again. "And they ate the fruit I had found. They started acting funny after that. That is when they attacked me."

Fruit? I thought about the fruit we first ate when the plane crashed. Sakura had told me they were poison to us. Could that have been what turned the Orangutan's crazy? Is that what mutated them into what they are now? I swore under my breath. This isn't good. "We can deal with that later. For now," I said, standing up, "we need to get you to see Sakura." I took off my cloak and wrapped it around her, then pulled her onto my back. "Try not to move much. I may hurt you by bouncing you around."

She sucked in a deep breath and adjusted herself briefly, wrapping her legs tightly around my waist. "I'm ready," she whispered.

I moved her arms so one was under my arm and the other was over my shoulder, so she wouldn't choke me. "Hang on."

And I started the long run back towards Konoha, already knowing Gaara and Sakura would meet me at the tree line. Savannah felt heavy by the time the sun started raising. I was surprised that I made it to the edge of the desert before the sun came up, I thought Savannah would have slowed me a lot more than this. I decided to keep going until I met up with Gaara and Sakura. Savannah passed out a while ago, and her dead weight was staring to make my back ache badly.

I shifted her, bouncing her up a little more. Her blood has soaked my shirt. There is no way I can heal her myself. I need to save my strength encase we are attacked. She will have to hang on until Sakura can get here. There was a flash of color to my left. I skidded to a stop, whipping around so I could see what caught my eye. I didn't see anything. I sent my power through my feet into the ground and searched the area for danger.

I swore under my breath. In one motion I set Savannah on the ground and round kicked a snarling Orangutan away from the two of us. I fought the next one off while I stood over my sisters unmoving body, protecting her. A blast of fire came out of my palm and scorched one of the great apes as I kicked another away. I don't remember reading anything about them attacking in groups. Hell, I've always heard they are peaceful animals, unless threatened. I grabbed a kunai and sliced one of their hands off, following through to swipe at a Orangutan. Blood sprayed my face.

I screamed in pain as one of their claws tore my shoulder. Not too deep, but enough to gush blood down my arm. I swung at him with my kunai and he hollered as it sliced his face. Something under my feet was pulled and I tripped, falling to the ground. "No!" I screamed, jumping on Savannah's body, scratching at the Orangutan's hand that was trying to pull her away from me. "Leave her alone!" I screamed at it.

The Orangutan hissed at me, spit flying at my face. He started to drag the both of us across the ground, still snarling at me as he screamed his ape-monkey scream. Others started to grab at my ankles to pull me away, but I kicked at them as hard as I could. A claw tore open my leg, and I screamed, kicking at the stupid ape hard. Where is Gaara! I pulled out a shuiken from my belt and stabbed it as deeply as I could into the Orangutan's hand that was pulling Savannah by the wrist. He screamed again and let go, jumping around as he yanked it out. I flipped over on my back and kicked with both feet at the Orangutan trying to grab hold of my legs.

I flipped back over and held Savannah's head to my chest and screamed as loud as I could as flames burst out all around us, making them back up so they didn't light up in flames. They circled us, screaming to each other as they waited for the flames to go away.

My back stung. One had cut me open just before I could blow them away. I quickly put all of my wounds to the back of my head and focused on what I am going to do.

Thank any God out there that I didn't heal Savannah. I rested my head against her still body and breathed, pushing fresh air under the flames so we could breathe okay. I can't keep this up forever. Soon they will not care or they will jump down on me from the trees. Maybe they are stupid and I can get away with this until Gaara gets here. Him and Sakura can help me.

No, I told my self. Figure it out. Don't rely on anyone to save you.

I opened my eyes back up and stood, once again having to push my pain and wounds to the back of my mind. Focus, I told myself. I watched them as they watched me. I stared at one hard and tried getting into its head to multiply its brain cells to the point where its head would explode. The Orangutan collapsed as his eyes popped out of his head from the pressure. The others were on him before he even hit the ground, tearing him apart with their teeth and fighting each other.

I sighed with relief. I did the same to three more, but each took a lot of power and concentration. I noticed my fire barrier starting to grow smaller. I hope they are to stupid to notice. But once the dead apes were gone, or they decided I was a bigger prize to munch on, they started circling me. One noticed the thinner ring of fire and moved closer, testing my strength. I waited until he was ready to plunge himself at me to burst out with the fire, killing him. The others whooped and jumped up and down around me. I sucked in the fire a little, waiting for another to move closer.

Sweat trickled down my brow. They are testing me. They learn fast. I swore loudly and looked down at my sister. She is sweating, too, and her chest is moving with shallow breaths. At least she is breathing, I thought. "Damn it, Gaara," I whispered. "Where the hell are you?"

I can feel myself being drained quickly. I used gusts of wind to blow up the fire, no longer able to create more fire than what I have. I have to think of something else. I checked how many weapons I have left. Not much. Some must have fallen off while I was carrying Savannah. My stomach growled. Great. I knelt down and closed my eyes, thinking. My actions must have confused them because they fell silent, but they moved around restlessly.

I could barely open my eyes back up. My strength is almost gone. I can't keep this up. I have no idea why I am so weak. I bit my lip hard and placed my hand on the ground under my feet. I whispered an apology to the life around me as I began to suck their power and convert it into my own. If my sisters life wasn't at risk, I would never have done this. My fire ring grew with the more power I gained, and they backed off even more, whooping loudly again.

There was a snap and I had just enough time to look up to see the Orangutan hurtling down from the tree at me.

I screamed and put my arms up over my face as he landed on me. "Gaara!" I screamed. I have no choice, I need help now. I screamed his name again as I tried to fight off the Orangutan ripping at my body with his large claws. My breath was gone with my last scream. His weight crushed me. I grabbed and pulled at his fur, but it did nothing. Claws lashed at my face. I tried to throw him off, but the lack of air is killing me.

My head turned to the side and I saw Savannah's face, her mouth still slightly open.

The fire around us disappeared and my arms fell limp at my side. I felt a single tear roll down my cheek. I mouthed my apology to her as my eyes started closing. I feel dizzy from not being able to breathe.

– –

Something inside me exploded and I screamed, jerking up and reaching out, grabbing the neck of the person next to me. I squeezed and slammed my body into theres, knocking them over. I scrambled to my feet to run, but hands grabbed me by the waist and through me back down. "Savannah!" I screamed. I jerked my head back, catching my captor in the chin. There was a grunt and the hands let go.

I crawled away, searching frantically for my sister. It's dark again, and I can't see more than three feet in any direction. Hands grabbed my feet and dragged me backwards. I kicked and screamed again, feeling more than a little helpless. My powers wont work. I tried elbowing my captor in the face, but his arm wrapped around my arm and the back of my head, putting me in a head lock. I squirmed, trying to break free, but it was hopeless. I haven't been practicing any physical fighting moves. I've been so focused on my powers I've forgotten how to fight hand to hand.

I relaxed completely, falling back against whoever was holding me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. If freak out I will never get out of this. I need to be calm. I need to think. I need to breathe.

The arms holding me loosened slightly, waiting. When I didn't move, and my head lolled to the side, the arms loosened even more. The person let me fall out of a head lock and he moved to my side. I heard him fiddling with a pack. That is when I knew I could move. I tossed my whole body into a roll and swung my foot out, kicking him hard in the head. I was up and running before he could hit the ground.

I ran and ran and ran, no idea where I was headed. I just knew I had to run. Something in my gut told me to get away, to put as much distance between me and that person as I could.

I didn't stop running until I felt like a lung would come up my throat. Then I finally slowed to a walk, putting my hands on my hips to ease the cramps. That is when the burning fire pain dropped me to my hands and knees. The air rushed out of my lungs again. Every inch of my body hurt. A crippling, breaking a bone, burning flesh with acid, pain.

I coughed and blood darkened the ground under my chin. I stared at it, noticing it was now light enough so I could see the color. As I breathed as deeply as I could I lifted my head and looked around me. I don't recognize these trees. Hell, all trees look the same to me. I could be anywhere in this world. I let myself fall to the ground beneath me and roll so I was on my side. I want to cry. I hurt so badly. I thought about crying, I tried to cry, but no tears came out. I am to tired to cry.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, as far as my wounds would allow, and closed my eyes.

I listened to the sounds around me. Birds whistling in the trees, a slight breeze brushing my face, the rustle of leaves. My pain eased as I fell out of consciousness.

When I came to again, the sun was filtering through the leaves, warming my body. I blinked away the blurriness and tried to sit up, but my body screamed at me not to move. I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut tightly as I waited for the pain to die down. But it didn't. I knew my peace was over and it was time to start moving again. If I'm attacked right now, I will be dead. I have no powers to protect me, and I have no weapons. I can barely stand without falling over.

I just stood there, sucking in air until I got used to the pain. I looked at my surroundings a little closer. Everything is so alive here. Green everywhere. I don't remember seeing this much green since I returned to this place. I dared a look down at my body. There is blood everywhere. My clothes are so torn I may as well be standing here naked. At least they cover the important places. There was a rustle of leave and my eyes shot up, staring hard at the area that the sound came from while my body moved to catch up with my eyes. My chin lifted, and my feet spread apart slightly.

The rustle was closer, but this time a little to the left. As I adjusted my body to face where the sounds was, it moved again. I bit my lip and took a silent calming breath. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. Just kill me. Attack me and kill me and get it over with. Tears filled my eyes and I tried to blink them away. I can't do this. I just can't. I can't protect myself, I can't fight. I can hardly breathe. My arms fell to my sides and my shoulders relaxed. Why can't I even brush my mind against what ever is making that sound? That takes the very least amount of energy than anything else.

I can't do anything.

Another rustle, which had again moved more to the left. It has almost made a complete circle around me. I breathed in and out, waiting. Whatever it was made a complete circle and the last sound I heard was directly in front of me again. I opened my eyes back up, only barely remembering I closed them. Just get it over with. Just do it. I took another breath and squared my shoulders. I stared hard at the spot where I knew whatever it was was watching me from. I may not have my powers anymore, but I am not stupid. I am being watched.

There was another rustle. "You wont hurt me if I come out, right?" asked a quiet voice.

I frowned and tried to place the voice. The voice is familiar. So familiar. Who is it? I wanted to ask, but I couldn't make my mouth work. I tried to move my tongue and realized how dry my mouth was. I worked my tongue around trying to make the feeling more comfortable. The rustle of the bush snapped my attention back on the person watching me. I am so weak I can't even focus. Great. Wonderful!

A head poked out and my breath caught in my throat. I coughed, a hacking, dry throat, cough. It sent me to my knees and when I was finished, there was blood on my hand. I wiped it off on the grass. I can't do this. I need to rest. I curled up into a ball and closed my eyes.

Kiba can wait.

– –

Kiba spoon fed me some warm soup. He reached around and wiped my mouth for me. I let my head fall back on his chest. I can't believe I am this weak. I am so weak I can't sit up on my own. I have to lean against him and let him feed me like a child. He tried to explain to me that the Orangutan's had poison in their spit, which they found out after I left, and that is why I am so weak. My body is using everything it has to fight off the poison. His theory is the poison has either blocked my powers, or all of my powers have been automatically trained on fighting for my life.

I swallowed another bite of the warm soup. It feels good going into my body. I can't talk much yet, but he hasn't stopped talking. Even now he is going on about something or another. I've given up trying to listen. But the feeling of his voice rumbling in his chest against my back is comforting. When the soup was gone he wrapped a blanket around me and held me tightly as he continued to talk. I think he even kept talking once I had fallen asleep.

When I woke up again Kiba was fast asleep, snoring softly in my ear. I swallowed hard and smiled, then my smile got bigger at the fact that I could smile. I tried to lift my hand, and my smile started to disappear as it moved slowly, sluggishly. I sighed softly. It's a start. I gazed out at the trees around us. Through all of his blabbing he never said how he found me. Without my powers I should be untraceable. I should be untraceable anyway! Though, with all of my blood hanging around everywhere, its no wonder his nose picked up my trail.

Slowly, not because I didn't want to wake him, but because I could literally move no faster than a sloth, I pushed away the blanket and moved away from him. I stood on shaky legs and took a deep breath, proud of myself for getting this far. I turned my back to Kiba and took a step forward.

"Where do you think you are going?"

Shit. Okay, so maybe I was trying to sneak off so I could pee without him asking a billion questions. I glanced back at him, moving my neck slowly. "I need to find the little girls bush," I grumbled. I went on my slow sluggish way. "I will yell if I need you."

He chuckled.

When I came back he helped me sit down next to the fire he just started. Already food was heating on the stones in the center. I gratefully took the blanket from him and wrapped it around me. I am so cold. Thankfully I had enough strength this time to feed myself. He seemed impressed at my feat. When I was done eating it was still very dark out. He tried to get me to go back to sleep, but I said no.

"Where are we?" I asked. I have gotten progressively stronger since I've woken up. Still, though, I cannot touch my powers.

Kiba shrugged and stretched out his leg. "Last I knew we were somewhere in southern Rock country."

"Last you knew?" I swallowed. How did I get here?

He shrugged again. I watched him closely as he picked at some of the grass. "Well, after you beat the shit out of that guy holding you I followed you here. You ran for two whole days, Kira. I bet you didn't even know that, did you?" He chuckled when he saw the look on my face. "Guess not. I was surprised myself, with how much blood you were leaving behind. I wasn't surprised at all when you finally collapsed."

I bit my lip hard, so hard it started to bleed. I'm so stupid. Which way did I run? I can almost say positively not in the right direction. Of course my body would take me farther away from Gaara. His name brought up his subject. "What of Gaara and Sakura? They were supposed to meet Savannah and I-" I broke off suddenly and his eyes flickered over to me. "Oh my god," I whispered. "Savannah!"

He looked away. "She is alright. I made sure to get her to them before I came looking for you." He must have taken my silence as a question. "Kira, I told you once I am your guardian. I am always here to protect you." He shrugged. "I felt the danger before you did and I knew you would need help. I was only a hour ahead of Gaara, though. I got to you just as you passed out. I grabbed the two of you and moved before anything else could attack. But of course, it wasn't that easy. We were jumped by that person who had you. He took you and left Savannah with me. I had no way of protecting both of you, and I knew you would want me to make sure she was safe first. So, I dropped her with Gaara, and came after you."

I sat there staring at him. My guardian? I do remember him saying that before. So where was he the other times I needed help? I mentally shook myself. Because he knew I could get out of it, that is why. I traced my tongue over the split in my lip. Savannah is safe. Sakura would have healed her and brought her home. Gaara... Gaara must still be searching for us. "And Gaara?" I asked in a hushed whisper.

Kiba tried to meet my eyes but I stared into the fire. "He wasn't to happy when I told him to return with Sakura and Savannah to Konoha. He is probably already on his way to find you." He motioned to my arm. I looked down and saw the silver and golden bands on both arms. "He knows exactly where you are."

I nodded absentmindedly. Do I want him here? No, not really. I don't want him to see me like this. I shivered. If I ever found him a mess like I am right now I would go on a blood rage. My thoughts slipped to all the rumors and stories I heard about him my first time in Suna. Demon. All of the stories and rumors centered around him being a blood thirsty demon. All of the bad ones, anyway. The others were all good and happy and about how much they loved their Kage who saved them time and time again. I licked my lip again. The pain is a sweet pain.

"Kiba..." I whispered, "I don't want him to come."

Kiba looked at me with a frown, his eyebrow slowly going down, too. "Why?"

I motioned to my body. "He isn't going to like this."

Kiba scoffed and gave me a lopsided smile. "I don't like it, Kira. But I know you are alright. He will be the same. Just you watch."

I shook my head. "No, Kiba, you don't get it. I know Gaara. I know how he used to react when I got badly hurt. He wanted to hunt down and kill whoever did it. I want to deal with this on my own. I'm a big girl and I don't need him to deal with my messes for me." Kiba stared at the ground almost sadly. "Since I've come back I think I've done a damn good job showing I can handle myself. Right? I'm not above asking for help. I know I need it sometimes. Like when those stupid apes ganged up on me and Savannah. But I'm fine now. I have you here with me. He doesn't need to put himself in danger by coming here."

There was a clearing of a throat behind me. I gasped and spun around, ready to scream if the person who held me was there.

"Gaara!" I gasped out, my heart still hammering in my chest. I sucked in a breath and held my side, where a scab ripped open. He stood there without a word as he watched Kiba help me put clean bandage around my waist. "He was standing there the whole time, wasn't he?" I hissed in Kiba's ear, so Gaara couldn't hear.

I heard the creak of leather as Gaara folded his arms over his chest. "I have been here long enough." I wiped the blood on my hand on the grass next to me. "I know you are not a child, Kira."

Kiba pulled a little to hard on the bandage and I gasped in pain. He gave me a stern look. Jerk did that on purpose! He wants me to be nice to Gaara. I am nice to Gaara. I'm not who I was before. I've changed. I know I will not always have Gaara, but I will make it last as long as I can. I'm not so stupid as to push him away anymore. Gaara was silent until Kiba wrapped the cloak back around me and moved to the other side of the fire. Gaara sat down at my side.

His hand touched a cut to the side of my face, lightly trailing it down to my chin. "This is a time of war," He said softly. "I do not expect anyone, especially you, to let me protect them all of the time. You are here, _alive_, and that is all that matters. I am not a God, I know my limitations. But they are blurred with you. Kira, I want to protect you because I do not wish any pain to befall you. I know I cannot keep that from happening, and I am sorry if I have smothered you."

I glanced over at him. He is apologizing to me. I smiled slightly and took his hand in mine, pressing it tightly against my cheek, ignoring the sting from my wound. "I know you are only doing what you think is right," I whispered. "I am sorry for being upset."

He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on my lips.

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	37. Sleepless

**I am very well aware that it has been over a year since I last posted... and I am very sorry for that! Being an adult really sucks sometimes! But, I've finally had some time to do what I love, so I will post this chapter. It's nowhere near my best, and I know you all will probably not like it all that much, but it sets up for what I am hoping will be a great couple next chapters. Enjoy this little piece I've put together for you!**

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Chapter 36, Sleepless.

I decided not to fight with Gaara anymore. I would let him baby me until we returned to the village and I recovered my strength. After that apology, that completely melted my heart, there wasn't anything I would say no to. Kiba fell into the background once more as Gaara did everything for me.

It took us about a week to get back to territory I could identify. Gaara carried me the whole way. My wounds still hurt to much to do more than hold on. When we came to the burned down cabin I made him stop. I walked on my own two feet over to it and ran my hand along the last standing wooden post. Whispered voices filled my head and my vision became slightly blurry. Almost like I was looking through a mist. I turned to the right, where the back of the cabin would have been, and stared at my younger, bald self talking to Temari and Kankuro about what I had just experienced with Gaara and Shukaku.

I see the fear on their faces as I tell them about having seen Shukaku and how they said they need to do something, and fast. They all disappeared when Gaara's hand fell on my shoulder. "What is wrong?" He asked softly. I saw out of the corner of my eye him wave of Kiba. He left grudgingly, but I knew he wanted to get back to Akamaru. **  
**

I turned to face him. "Where is Shukaku?" I asked.**  
**

Gaara's eyes left mine and he looked at the burnt down cabin. "He is still in me. He is the one who told me your grave had been disturbed." He paused. "He told me you were back. I didn't believe him."

**"**Why?" I asked in a whisper.

He met my eyes again. "Because it was to good to be true." His hand touched the ends of my hair and twirled it around his fingers. "Do you remember when you cut all of your hair off to save us?" He whispered, his eyes now looking at my hair between his fingers.

**"**Yes," I whispered back. I can still feel the heat of the fires around me. I saved them all. I was the only one that could. The Black Plague was from my world and it had somehow made its way here. My world. I felt my eyes widen. I looked up at Gaara. How did the plague come to be here? Who were those men in black? Questions I never got an answer to.

Gaara looked at what was left of the cabin again. "You were the only one who could protect the world from that disease. You cut off your hair and you burnt your hands to make sure no one else could get it."

**"**But my blood, it was on my blood," I whispered. My mind was racing. Who were those men? How did they get the Black Plague?

Gaara shook his head. "It does not matter. You tried your best and you saved all of us. Shikamaru and many others would have died if you hadn't done what you did." His fingers grazed my neck. "That is what a protector does. You are a protector, Kira. Protecting others is in your blood."

I frowned. I don't get it.

He searched my eyes. "When you shattered your knees in Suna during the battle against Iwa. You were protecting others by fighting, even though you did not have complete control over your powers. By keeping the twins from me you felt you were protecting them. You protected Savannah with everything you had from the Orangutan's. You are a protector. You protect because you have the power to." He brushed hair back from my face and tilted my chin up until I was looking him in the eyes. "You have always been a protector. But only once have I seen you try to protect yourself."

I knew what he was talking about. When the Akatsuki attacked all of us at the plane. That was the only time I fought for my life and not others. That was when I stabbed Gaara. It was when I had nothing left by me to protect. I swallowed hard. Even then I was thinking about my family back home, how I had to get back to them.

It was so easy to forget the first time. But so hard to forget now.

I stood on my tippy-toes and wrapped my arms around Gaara's neck, leaning my chin on his shoulder, just thinking. What does this all mean? I'm a protector. People and diseases have been coming here from my word for God knows how long. I am not the first, and I know I will not be the last. Pretty soon, unless I can fix it, our worlds will become one. I squeezed my eyes shut. I cannot let that happen. I cannot let our worlds connect. My world would not understand. They would kill before asking questions.

I took a shaky breath and stepped back from him, keeping my hands on his chest. "Then let me do what I'm here for," I whispered. "Let me protect." I finally looked up and met his eyes.

His lips turned up in a small smile as his fingers brushed against my cheek. "Every protector needs someone to watch their back once in awhile."

**– –**

Ino was waiting at the gates when we arrived. She ran out to us and started healing me before we were even in the village. Guards were everywhere. Reports started being told to me at such a high speed I could barely keep track of who was speaking. Gaara took it all in stride, staying less than an arms length away, saying words I could not find when someone finished a report. Ino kept healing me.

We passed the tents and made our way into the abandoned looking village. I hate this sight. But I kept walking, knowing the closer we got to the mountain the more civilization I would see. And I was right. The buildings closest to the mountain and Hokage tower were crawling with life. I am glad they took to heart what I said and moved out of the cave some. This way the sickness will stop spreading at such a fast rate, and they will all be more comfortable.

I put my hand on Ino's and pulled her away from me. "I am fine now, Ino," I said softly with a smile. "Thank you."She gave me a tired smile and nodded, moving away from us.

I took a deep breath and rolled my shoulders. I am still very very soar, and my wounds are still there, though they are very shallow now. They are bearable. As we continued to the mountain a feeling started to grow in the pit of my stomach. Not a bad feeling, just a needy feeling. A feeling that had me picking up the pace the closer we got. I was almost running when we reached the doors and Hanabi Hyuuga opened the doors for us.

**"**Where's my children?" I asked in a rush, searching for them.

My need to see my babies is so strong I can't breathe right. "Momma!" I turned to the hall and a large smile found its way on my face. I met them half way and scooped them into my arms. Even Ryuu ran over and hugged me. I didn't even mind the pain it caused me to hold them tightly. I sighed with relief and pulled away from them.

**"**Were you good while I was gone?" They all nodded. "Sorry if I made you worry."

Jessica tugged on my hand, trying to pull me down the hall. "Kiba said you were coming. Tsunade-sama wants you to see her right away!" My heart sunk.

Savannah.

We raced down the halls to the back rooms of the mountain. I guess I've really never realized just how big this place is. I swung open the door and collided into Kiba. He grabbed me to straighten me, his mouth moving with words that didn't reach my ears. My blood was pounding to loudly to hear him. I pushed him away from me as I stumbled to the bed on the other side of the room. Savannah sat there, staring back at me.

I grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug, relief flooding my body. "Thank god you're okay," I whispered to her. She hugged me back, sniffling back tears.

**"**I thought they killed you," she whispered. "They wouldn't tell me anything."

I looked at her and pushed her unruly curls from her face. "Nothing can keep me from you, Savannah." I hugged her again. "Nothing."

Jiraiya stood from the chair next to the bed and cracked his back with a yawn. "Well, I guess I should be on my way then."

**"**No!" Savannah reached for his hand, and pulled him back towards the bed. "You can't leave me, Jiraiya. Please, please don't leave!"

I frowned. Of course I know Savannah knows Jiraiya. They met when he came for me. But just how close have they become while I was away? I glared at him. I hope his reputation is false for his sake. If he touched my sister I will skin him alive. He must have noticed the look I was giving him because his hands shot up and he backed away slowly. "I've done nothing. I swear! Tsunade told me she was here so I thought I'd drop by. A familiar face, you know? I swear I've done nothing!"

He bumped into Gaara as he was backing away. Gaara put a hand on the old mans shoulder and leaned close to his face. "You'd better hope you are telling the truth," he said in a low voice. A shiver raced down my spine. Gaara still has it in him, I see.

But Gaara should have no idea this is my sister. He hasn't had a chance to talk to anyone who would have told him. I waved it off. Kiba must have done a quick introduction when he left her with Gaara and raced to find me. I held onto Savannah's hands tightly. "You are probably full of questions."

She nodded. "Darn right I am."

I smiled softly. I sighed and searched for a place to begin. Gaara showed Jiraiya out then took a seat in the chair that was now open. Kiba leaned against the wall. Tsunade is no where to be seen for once. "Well, this is Gaara." I motioned to him. "You finally get to meet him." I smiled at her. "Gaara this is Savannah... my little sister." His eyes moved back and forth between the two of us.

He nodded his hello to her.

She giggled. "He is exactly like you described. A man of few words." She winked at me. I pressed my lips together and shook my head. Savannah took in Gaara's appearance a little closer. "I can see why you didn't let go. He's hot." I smacked my forehead.

**"**Savannah..." I made my tone warning. We would not have this conversation with him and Kiba in the room. I wondered where the twins and Ryuu had run off to, but I pushed it to the back of my mind. Probably followed Jiraiya out.

She giggled again. "This place is amazing. Tsunade, that's her name right, the one with big boobs? She let me walk outside a couple hours ago. She's so amazing! She healed my leg right up and it doesn't feel broken at all!"

Was this what I was like when I came here for the first time? So amazed by everything? "She is amazing," I agreed. Also very dangerous, but I didn't add that part. She doesn't need to know about that. "What kind of questions do you have?"

**"**Can I meet your kids? The twins? Where are they?" She looked around behind me for them, then looked to me with a frown.

I shrugged. "They are running around somewhere. They will come meet you when they are ready. They don't know much about our world, so keep the talk about it to a minimum, okay?" She nodded. "Savannah, there is something I need to know. It will be hard for you to answer, but it is very important that you tell me everything, okay?" She nodded again. "How did you get here and what happened?"

Her face fell expressionless and her eyes turned away from mine. "Kaleb is dead," she whispered. My heart almost stopped. "He was killed in the war. Mom is sick. Losing the two of you has made her health deteriorate fast and Daddy is doing everything he can. I was taking a walk, to get away from the depressing house. I-I don't know exactly what happened. It was stormy. I think I was hit with lightning, but I'm not sure. I woke up here... You know the rest."

I choked back a sob. "Dead?" I whispered. She nodded, tears forming in here eyes, too. I grabbed her and pulled to her to me, holding her tightly. How can Kaleb be dead? No. No, there's no way. My big brother cannot be dead! I let the tears in my eyes spill, but cut them off there. I can't cry right now. I have to be strong for Savannah. I can cry all I want later. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Are you okay?" I couldn't make my voice go above a whisper, so I didn't try.

She nodded. "Thanks to Tsunade I'll be fine."

I ran my hands over Savannah's face. She's always looked so much like Mom and Kaleb. Kaleb. I pushed my emotions to the side. I have to be strong. "I would offer to let you stay with me... but right now this is the safest place for you to be. I hope you understand that."

She nodded. "I understand. Trust me, I don't want to leave right now. I don't want to see anymore of those Monkeys."

**"**Apes," I corrected with a slight smile.

She rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Whatever."**  
****  
****– –**

I wiped my eyes and blew my nose on a tissue. Gaara's let me cry everything out and now he is sitting next to me, rubbing my back. I saw Temari and Kankruo after I left this mountain, with Savannah safe deep in side. Temari and I talked about some of the reports I didn't listen to, what has been done, what still needs to be done. And Kankuro and I talked about the health of our army. This is all stuff Gaara and Tsuane are already aware of, but things I need to be caught up on. I only have listened through it all.

I took a deep shaky breath and laid down on the pillows and snuggled into the blankets. I still can't believe Kaleb is gone. I've had to deal with death many times. But this is my brother. This is the one person who has always been there for me since I was born. He was the one I ran to when a shadow scared me at night. He was the one who would beat up the kid who called me ugly. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall freely. He didn't want me to come back because he was afraid I would get myself killed.

Idiot. You are the one that is dead.

A warm little tongue brushed repeatedly on my cheek until I opened my eyes and looked at Youji. Her head tilted to the side, like she knew I was sad and wanted to cheer me up. I rubbed behind her ears and grabbed her around her middle, dragging her with me as I turned to Gaara. "She's such a brat. She runs off all the time and I never know where to find her. Her father never did that."

Youji put her paws up in the air and tucked her head under my chin. I scratched her belly. "She isn't Renjiro. He was one of a kind." Gaara reached over and flicked her paw lightly. "But she loves you just as much as he did."

I shrugged and hugged her a little tighter. "He was a brat, too."

I've lost my brother and now I am going to lose my mother. Losing Savannah, too, is going to kill her.

Gaara's arm wrapped around me and he pulled Youji and I closer to him. The feeling of his breath on my face was calming.

In the morning I went to see Savannah again. She was getting a little restless sitting cooped up in the room all the time. But I don't think she is ready to venture to far outside. I'm definitely not ready to let her. It's an odd feeling, having her here. I almost want to protect this world from another influence like her. I changed things when I first came here. I want to protect what is, I don't want any big changes. I'm fighting to get back what we had. Peace. And I am worried Savannah's being here will ruin that.

I introduced her to a few more people, something in my stomach knotting up tight each time I did so. And the knot didn't loosen until that person left the room and things were quiet again. Savannah seemed happy enough to meet everyone. She still has not met the twins, though. They are busy helping Ino and Hanabi make another apartment building livable for more than the intended amount of occupants. She liked Temari right away, and I could tell she liked Kankuro, though she pretended not to. I think she felt the perv-vibe he gives off sometimes. Like Jiraiya.

I was soon pulled away from her side to deal with other matters.

Like finding out why I can't touch my powers.

Tsunade and Sakura gave me a check over to see if they could find anything that might be blocking me from being able to do anything. They found nothing. They healed me completely to see if that could have been something, then Sakura checked to see if they might have missed a head injury. Again, they found nothing. I was beginning to worry. If I can't use my powers I am defenseless, and we are down a great advantage.

It was late at night when I finally left Sakura and Tsunade to see Savannah before I met with Gaara and Kankuro about battle plans. She was sleeping when I entered, so I sat quietly in the chair. I watched her breathe, like I used to do when she was a small baby. I would sit in her room for hours and marvel over the fact that I had a little sister.

I rubbed my arms as a shiver ran through me. I should go, I know, but I don't want to leave her. She is the last bit of home that I have. I leaned over and kissed her forehead before I left the room.

The meeting with Gaara and Kankuro lasted until the sun started to rise, and that is when we called it quits for a few hours of sleep.

I got no sleep.

Three days now I am running on only a few hours of sleep. I went through my daily duties like I always did, trying to push my powers problem to the back of my head. I know Tsunade and Sakura are trying everything they can to figure out why I can't use them. It is a big deal, and they know it.

After another two days, I started to feel like I couldn't think or move right. Five days no sleep and with the stress that I can't use my powers to help anyone getting heavier and heavier on my shoulders I just want to pass out. I feel like I could drop to the ground dead at any second. Tsunade has tried all kinds of tests and experiments to get me to sleep or see if I can get my powers back.

I am currently sitting with Savannah in her room in the mountain, my head resting on her leg. She is running her hands through my hair, like Mom used to do when I was little. It feels so good. I closed my eyes and relaxed against her, letting my self completely go. I felt a tear slide down my cheek, but Savannah said nothing. She just kept playing with my hair. I never knew it would be this good to have my sister back. But thoughts of Kaleb wouldn't stop thundering through my brain. That is why I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about him being dead and Mom dying because of her grief over the two of us. I hope she will live on. I want her to be happy. Daddy, too.

A chill swept through the room, making me shiver. Savannah sniffled and wiped her cheeks when I looked up at her. She smiled sadly at me. "Sorry," she whispered.

I shook my head and crawled up on the bed with her, wrapping my arms around her. "Don't be sorry for crying, ever."

I was finally able to sleep.

The last thing I wondered about was the chill in the room and Savannah's sniffle. When I was training Jessica I used emotions to show her how to connect and then eventually control her emotions. Sadness was ice.

Is the chill from my powers finally coming back?

Or could it be something else?

* * *

**There will be more to come...**


	38. Questions

**Here it is, chapter 37! I hope all of you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)**

* * *

Chapter 37, Questions.

Tenten through everything she had at me, or so she said. I just got done a match against her. She let me win. I've seen her fight before, though I've never had the chance to fight her myself. She went easy on me. I punched a wall as hard as I could, hearing a gruesome snap from my knuckles. I kicked the wall with a little less force as I sucked in a breath. **  
**

I hate not having my powers. I need to learn everything all over again. Tenten has been teaching me in hand to hand combat, because I will need it. I'm fine with a sword or weapon, but once my hands have nothing to hold, I freeze up. Because I don't have that reassurance that I can blow or burn someone away. Hinata tried to give me some pointers from the side lines, but since she is pregnant again, which I just learned this morning, she cannot fight me. I won't let her, and neither will Naruto.**  
**

The smell of smoke found its way to my nose. I scrunched up my face and waved my hand around in the air around my head. "Must you smoke around me, Shikamaru? It's such a bad habit." **  
**

He scoffed, blowing a cloud of smoke away from me this time. Smoking is something he picked up from his former Sensei, Asuma. "Punching walls and breaking a finger is a much worse habit, Kira." I rolled my eyes and walked off. He followed, much to my distaste. "You need to find a better hobby. Soon all of your fingers will be broken, and from what I've heard, you can't heal yourself... So, in your own words you've used once, if you keep that up you're screwed."**  
**

I spun on him. "And how the hell is it _my_fault I can't use my powers?" I yelled at him. I yelled in frustration and accidentally hit my hurt hand on something, bringing tears to my eyes from the pain. "I don't need you to tell me how much my life sucks right now. I can't do anything. I can barely think straight, Shikamaru." I strained to keep from crying. My life back in New York was never this hard.**  
**

He sighed and ground his cigarette into the ground with his toe. "Come with me," he said softly. **  
**

I followed him to a building near the training grounds and up a stairwell until we reached the roof. He walked over to a bench and sat down, putting his arms behind his head as he leaned back. I sat next to him, still cradling my hand against my chest. I looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. I sat back and tried to make myself relax. Shikamaru sat next to me in silence, just watching the clouds above. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.**  
**

**"**Sometimes the only thing you can do is watch the clouds and try not think," he said softly. "I used to come up here all the time when the stress became to much."**  
**

I opened my eyes and watched the clouds float above. The sky is so vast. So amazing. A gentle wind blew, brushing my cheeks. "I can't protect her, Shikamaru," I whispered. "What am I supposed to do?"**  
**

I saw him shrug out of the corner of my eye. "Let us protect her. You've done so much already, Kira." **  
**

My breathing started to quicken. I've still got so much to do, and so little time. "You don't get it," I breathed out. I smiled at him, my thoughts on dark places. "Everyone is in danger." My voice was barely a whisper. "I need my powers so I can figure out how to stop what is happening. I am the only one that can."**  
**

He frowned at me. "Jessica has the same powers as you. Teach her."**  
**

I shook my head. "What needs to be done is beyond what she can do. Shikamaru, our worlds are converging. I don't know how long it will take, or who's controlling it, but pretty soon our worlds will become one. I cannot let that happen. So many people will die. I need to stop it. I need to be able to use my powers."**  
**

**"**Converging?" He brought his hand to his chin like he always used to when he thought deeply. He made a disapproving sound in his throat. "That's impossible."**  
**

"Is it? Think about it, Shikamaru. The Black Plague was from my world, yet it found it's way here. The Orangutan's are from my world and they are here, too. Savannah is my _little sister_. Hell, I am proof enough. When I was saved from the Akasuki the first time a whole plane load of us were here."I scoffed and looked back up at the sky. "It can happen. It _is_happening. Do you understand my frustration now?"**  
**

He nodded. "I never thought I would see something like this. Have you told anyone else about this yet?" **  
**

I shook my head. "Only Jessica knows, but I told her to keep it between the two of us. I don't want to worry anyone else."**  
**

He nodded. "That would be a good idea. It could start a panic."**  
**

We were silent for a little while. The whole time I battled with myself about telling him what I suspected about Savannah. It would make sense for her to have the same powers as me, but I don't want to believe it. I don't want her to become a target like Jessica and I have. But if she does have the same powers, I need to find out before she accidentally hurts herself or someone else. I need to train her how to control the powers. Jessica needed help to find hers. But Savannah will need help to control it.**  
**

**"**Is there something you would like to tell me?" He asked quietly. **  
**

I like how softly he speaks. We can just whisper back and forth, keeping the atmosphere peaceful. "I think Savannah has powers. I only suspect. I can't be certain."**  
**

He nodded. "It would make perfect sense. Should they show so quickly, though? You had to teach Jessica how to bring her powers forth."**  
**

**"**I was just thinking about that." I took a calming breath. I hope I'm not right. I hope I am just imaging everything. "Savannah is my sister, though. She has the exact same blood as I do. Jessica came from me and Gaara, so her blood is different. Jessica needed help to bring it forth because Shukaku has filled Gaara's blood, so her powers battled against it. With Savannah, there would be nothing to stop the powers from developing. I had found my powers right off practically, though I didn't know what they were nor how to control them." But Savannah is so much like Mom and Kaleb. Could she have enough of Dads side to be like me?**  
**

**"**That would make sense. You should find out before this eats you alive." He lit a cigarette and winked at me. "I could have worse habits." He looked pointedly at my hand. "You should have that looked at."**  
**

On my way to see Savannah I saw Sakura coming out of Tsunade's office. She stopped me with a scowl and healed my hand up. "How did you do this?" she asked.**  
**

I shrugged. I have a feeling she will beat me if I told her I punched a wall...**  
**

She sighed heavily and put her hand on her stomach. I smiled and put mine next to hers, wishing I could reach with my power and feel the baby. "I'm happy for you, Sakura." **  
**

She smiled too. "Thanks, but he or she could have had better timing." We laughed a little. "Savannah is waiting for you." **  
**

I nodded and went on my way. I stepped into the room and sat down on the chair next to her bed. She is reading right now, I don't want to interrupt. I put my feet up on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to think of some way to figure out if she does have powers. I could preform a simple test like Hinata did with me all those years ago. Bringing up a sad memory would be easy right now and there is water on the night stand. Anger would also be very easy. But I don't feel like taking the risk of starting a fire. And moving the earth could be dangerous under this mountain.**  
**

Wind would be a good one, but I don't want her up and running around right now. She is still trying to regain strength in her leg. **  
**

Bad memories and water it is!**  
**

I took the glass from the stand and handed it to her. "How did you find out about Kaleb?" I asked quietly. I bit my cheek to keep myself from backing out of this. It wont only hurt her.**  
**

She looked over at me as she held the glass. Her face was sad. "The man in the army suit came to our house. He had Kaleb's necklace in his hand. The shark tooth that Dad made into a necklace for him." She swallowed hard.**  
**

**"**He never takes that off," I whispered.**  
**

She nodded. "I know. When I saw him I knew something was wrong. He told us his name and he was the guy Kaleb had wrote about in his letters. They were good friends. He told us that Kaleb told him to bring this back to us. To let us know he is okay and will wait for us in heaven. He didn't want us to be sad." Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "The funeral was horrible. They shot guns in the air and everything. Mom had to be taken to the hospital because she passed out."**  
**

I tried to hold back my own tears, but I couldn't. A few spilled to my cheeks. "Can I have that glass?" She handed it to me, wiping her eyes again. I looked in it.**  
**

The top layer was frozen.**  
**

Shit.**  
**

**– –****  
**

The next few hours I spent with Tsunade, discussing what my options were. One, I could train Savannah. Two, Tsunade could put a block on her powers. Or, three, we could let it ride its course and see what happens. The last one was out of the question. And I don't want Tsunade to block her powers, I know how badly that sucks. So I guess I will have to train her.**  
**

**"**Momma!" I looked behind me to see Jessica running towards me, a big smile on her face. "Guess what?"**  
**

**"**What?" I smile and ran my hand over her hair. She's started wearing it in a French braid. I like it, its cute on her.**  
**

**"**Guess!"**  
**

I laughed. "Oh, I don't know! Uncle Kanky finally gave up playing with dolls?" **  
**

She laughed hard. "No, of course not, Momma!" She laughed some more and I couldn't help but smile. "Daddy got us some new armor! We are going to be learning how to fight the orange beasts!"**  
**

**"**Orangutan's," I correct softly. My heart was racing. They are to small to fight off those apes. They will get killed. "Jess, where is your father?" I couldn't defend myself when I was attacked, how could children possibly stand a chance against those beasts?**  
**

She turned and pointed towards the training field. "He is helping Uncle Kanky and Aunt Temari set up a training course for us."**  
**

I kissed the top of her head. "Run along now, Jessica. Be safe." She nodded with a smile and ran off to find her brother most likely. It's rare I see those two apart. And now Ryuu is attached to their hips. I made my way towards the training field, but a yellow flash caught me first.**  
**

**"**Kira, can we talk for a second?" Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. He lead me off in the other direction, away from Gaara and away from my confrontation with him. Did he plan to lead me away from the argument he knew was about to occur? He wouldn't meet my eyes. "Can you help me with something?" He asked. He kicked a rock and kept his face down.**  
**

**"**What's wrong, Naruto?" He looks almost... scared.**  
**

He kicked another rock and sighed. "Hinata wants her father to take the children away from here. Somewhere safer. And... he wants her to go with him."**  
**

I felt my heart soften. Naruto needs Hinata here for emotional support. No wonder I haven't seen much of him in the last week or so. He's probably been fighting to keep her and his children here where he can protect them himself. He doesn't like the idea of someone else being in charge of his families protection. I know that fear and pain all to well.**  
**

**"**What can I do?" I asked, gently squeezing his arm.**  
**

He looked over at me with sad eyes. "I've tried everything, Kira," he whispered. "But she wont listen. Her father is using her pregnancy against her. He keeps saying she should think of her children. But I can't let them go, Kira. You have to help me keep them here. If they leave, I can't protect them. How can I convince her they are safer here? That she is safer here..."**  
**

The fear in his eyes is so raw I can feel the fear nipping at my insides. "I will talk with her, Naruto. I will try to help you." I paused and looked away from his eyes. "But as a mother I can sympathize with her worry. And as a protector, I know your fear. I will trying to make her see reason." **  
**

He nodded and shoved his hands deep in his pockets. "I can't lose her," he whispered. "I just can't."**  
**

I rested my head against his shoulder. "I know."**  
**

A couple hours later I found Gaara chatting with Shikamaru and Kiba. Kiba met my eyes and tossed me a wink, then turned his back on me. I haven't talked with him much since we returned to Konoha. I will have to corner him at some point. Shikamaru sighed heavily when he saw me, and turned his back on me, also. **  
**

**"**If you are here to argue," he said, "then you can leave."**  
**

I glared at Shikamaru's back and walked up to stand next to him and Kiba. I avoided Gaara's eyes. "What makes you think I came here to argue?"**  
**

Kiba chuckled. "Because Jessica told us she slipped and told you about the training area and their new armor." He looked at me with amusement. "Looks like Shikamaru won this bet. I thought you would have been here in less than ten minutes."**  
**

Shikamaru accepted the money from Kiba and shoved it in his pockets. Gaara handed over some, too, now refusing to meet my eyes. "Oh, yes," Shikamaru smirked. "He bet, too. He thought you would confront him alone, not with us around."I smiled sweetly at Shikamaru and held my hand out. "Looks like I win then, because I think its a good idea."Their jaws dropped, and Gaara's expression held slight amusement. "Seriously?" Kiba asked. I nodded. Shikamaru sighed and grumbled about troublesome women and placed the money in my hand. I shoved it deep in my pockets. "Are you completely serious right now?"I laughed. No, not at all. "Of course! They should know how to protect themselves if one should get past us. Face it, someday they are going to be protecting their loved ones and their children. They might as well get strong and smart now rather than later when they need it but don't have it."**"**Exactly our thought process," Shikamaru grumbled.

I linked my arm through Shikamaru's and smiled sweetly. "I came to find you. We need to have a little chat." He sighed and waved to the others as we walked away. I could feel Gaara's eyes following us.

When we were out of hearing distance he glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "What do you need, Kira?"

I shook my head and lead him to the place where he showed me the clouds. I laid down and stared up at the blue sky, trying to formulate my thoughts. "Savannah has powers, I'm sure of it." I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes, linking my hands over my chest. "And I've been thinking. When I gave birth to the twins in that awful place, they were able to push thoughts into Naruto's head to tell him they wanted Gaara and I. Before I left this world Jessica had used some sort of power to push me into the stove where I burned my hands very badly. What happened to those powers? Another thing. The black men that infected us with the black plague. Where were they from? How the hell did such a bad disease get into this world?"

He was silent as he puffed on a cigarette. "We never did pursue those men, did we?"

I sat up quickly, looking over at him. Something else had just accrued to me. "He stabbed Gaara," I whispered. Shikamaru squinted at me with one eye. "The man in black, he stabbed Gaara in the chest, remember? I had thrown my katana out of anger and stabbed him in the leg. When I got back to camp Gaara was on the ground." I paused for a second, looking towards where the others were still at the new training field. "How could he have gotten past Gaara's ultimate defense? How was the hole created and why are our worlds shifting together? We really need answers, Shikamaru. I was hoping you might be able to help me figure this all out. Without answers we are treading very dangerous waters."

Shikamaru blew out a big cloud of smoke. "Everything that comes from your world just makes things so troublesome." He sighed and flicked his cigarette to the ground. "I guess we better have a chat with Tsunade-sama and Gaara-sama. Which would you like to deal with?"

I snorted and rolled my eyes.

Like I have an option.

– – –

Somehow we had gotten rid of the children for the evening. I'm still not sure how that had worked out. I lay next to Gaara, my hand tracing patterns on his chest with my head resting on his shoulder. He has his arms wrapped around me and his lips rest on my forehead. I sighed and closed my eyes, melting into his embrace.

Sadly, I have to break it. I slowly sat up and stared down at him. "There's something I need to talk to you about," I said softly. He ran his hand up and down my arm, looking at me questioningly. The breeze from the window ruffled his hair slightly. "I need to ask you questions about the past, about what happened."

"Don't be afraid to talk to me, Kira." His fingers trailed across my cheek. "You know I will answer anything you need me to."

I smiled and nodded. Of course I know. I just hate bringing up the painful past. "I need you to think back to a long time ago. You remember the Black Death, right?" He nodded, his brow lowering. "And the men in black? I need to ask you about the one that stabbed you. How? How did he get past your defense?"

Gaara put one arm behind his head and looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. "I'm not sure." His eyes came back to me. "What does that matter? What are you thinking about?"

I crossed my legs and held his hand in between my own. "Everything. I'm trying to figure everything out. As Shikamaru said, everything that comes from my world just makes a big mess. The plague came from my world. How? Who brought it here? And then that guy was able to get around your defense enough to almost kill you. How? The Orangutan's are different than the ones I've seen in my world. Why? And, most importantly, how did they get here? The poison fruit couldn't have changed them that much in such a short time. There has to be some other factor we are missing. Savannah said they came through the hole like she had. Well, there's another question. How did she get here? Gaara, everything is so messed up. I need answers. Please, how did he get around your defense? The sand should have stopped him but it didn't." I squeezed his hand. "Please think hard about it and tell me what you remember. It's very important."

He sighed and nodded, closing his eyes. "I remember being angry at you. I had to walk away so I didn't hurt you." His brow pulled down further. "He just stabbed me. I felt something behind me and when I turned he pushed the kunai into my chest." He laced his fingers with mine and stared at them. "That is all I can remember. After that you saved me."

This time it was me who sighed. "Are you sure? You just felt a presence behind you? It couldn't have been anything else?"

He frowned at me. "No, Kira. I would have known if it was something else. I do not know how he got past the sand. I've never wondered about it until now."

I crawled back to him and put my face into the crook of his neck. His strong arms wrapped around me once more, holding me tightly to his side. "This is all so confusing," I whispered. "There's something I'm missing. Something important."

We were quiet for a long while. I was almost asleep when Gaara shifted. "What about Anne?"

I shook my head. "No, she has nothing to do with this. She's gone for good, Gaara. Thank God," I whispered the last part. She may have died horribly, but she can't bother us anymore. She will never lay her hands on my family again.

"What killed her, though?"

I groaned. "Can't we just leave her be, Gaara? I don't want to talk about her. I don't even want to think about her."

"Someone was controlling her." Gaara shifted even more until he was sitting up. I pulled a pillow over my head and held it tightly. "Now that I think about it, that wasn't the first time someone has been able to slip past my sand." I peeked out from under the pillow at him. He was frowning as he stared at my tattoo. His thumb traced the "i" of Suna on my hip. "There have been a few other instances just like it."

"Do you mean when your throat was practically ripped out? Jess had shown me you were under the tree. I was terrified you were going to die." I rolled so I was laying on my back, staring up at him. His muscles bulged as he stretched. "When else?"

A half smile appeared on his face as his eyes found mine once more. "About every time you and I have ever fought." The time I stabbed him the day we first met flashed before my eyes. Others, the time Shukaku almost won, the time I saved Naruto from him when he found out I came back, they, too, flashed before my eyes. "You have always been able to get past my defense." He leaned over and kissed my tattoo.

I squirmed away from him and glanced out the window at the dark sky. Unfortunately, my thoughts started to drift back to Anne. She, too, was always able to get past Gaara's sand. How? I've always been able to because of my powers. I glanced over at him. "I have a theory..." His head hung down and he sighed. I couldn't help but laugh. "Don't worry, it wont hurt! You just have to try and stop Savannah from killing you. That's all!"

He eyed me. "You want to use me to train her?"

I scooted closer and took his hand in mine. "If I'm right, she will be able to get past your sand without using any kind of powers. So, before she actually learns to control them, I want to test out my theory."

* * *

**Did you like the little bit of fluff I put in at the end? It finally seems like Kira and Gaara have everything figured out!**


End file.
